Sade 🖤

24 | Scottish | I like bugs a lot 🕷️🐞🐛🪲

[bittersweetlemonsherbet]

Donate to Please Help Bow, organized by Shelley Gill

This is a last resort and as you can imagine, not the route anyone wants to go down however, 2 weeks ago … Shelley Gill needs your support f

If anyone can help my friend Chloe out with her cats operation bill it would mean the world!

Even if you can only donate small change- every little does help and is greatly appreciated!

I know people can act like cats are just pets but I know how much love Chloe has for Bow. They’re like another family member.

[nacapito]

Growing up

BMO: Air? Are you there, air? It's me BMO.

I know it's been a long time since we talked.

Sorry about that.

BMO: But, well, maybe if you don't want to talk, you could just listen.

BMO: Moe told me if I do this thing, I'll be a grown-up, and that sounds cool, I guess.

BMO: Like, if I was grown, then I could drive to the playground all by myself. And I could buy my own pacifiers at the store, if I was grown.

BMO: But then, if I change, will Finn and Jake still love me? Will I still love them? Moe changed to a new body And he's still the same, I guess, sort of.

BMO: But does growing up just change your body, or also your soul?

[Sighs]

[cat-n-tonic]

can you OD on vitamin D

[jimkirksfatass]

that’s how icarus died

[bittersweetlemonsherbet]

Today left me shaken in a way that’s hard to explain without feeling like I have to justify myself.

The taxi ride should have been ordinary. It wasn’t. From the start, something felt off—small things at first, the kind you’re taught to brush aside. He didn’t put the window down, so I opened the front door. He was overly friendly, asking questions that didn’t feel like casual taxi-driver chat, more like probing. Where we work. Which branch. Details I didn’t want to give. I tried to redirect, to keep it light, to stay polite.

But he kept leaning closer to me. My body noticed before my brain did.

When we arrived, he wouldn’t let me pay until I wrote down his phone number. I didn’t want it. The only reason I took it was because I was afraid that if I refused, he would push further—or worse, ask for my number instead. I chose the option that felt least likely to cause confrontation, the quickest way out of the situation. That wasn’t consent. That was survival.

As if that wasn’t enough, he told both me and my friend that we should call him directly if we ever needed a lift, instead of using the taxi service. That set off a clear red flag in my mind. A private ride wouldn’t be logged. There would be no record of the journey if something went wrong. He was asking us to step outside the small layer of safety we’d had—and that terrified me.

He asked if my friend was a minor because she “looked young.” She said she was 18. I snapped back that I was nearly 25, anger spilling out before I could stop it. I don’t even know who that anger was for—him, the situation, or myself for feeling powerless again.

After we got out, he stayed there. Five, maybe ten minutes. Just sitting in the car. Not parked properly, blocking other cars. Watching. Waiting. I don’t know for what, and that’s what keeps looping in my head.

The police told us not to worry. They explained it away. Again. That familiar dismissal. That familiar message: leave it alone. Past experiences tell me that reporting doesn’t mean protection, and today reinforced that fear. It hurts to feel like the systems meant to keep you safe are asking you to doubt your own instincts instead.

What’s haunting me most is realizing I wasn’t alone in feeling this way. I thought maybe I was overreacting—too sensitive, too cautious. But my colleague noticed it too. She felt it too. She even pointed out that he took a more secluded route to drop us off.

This whole experience ripped open old scars. Being a survivor means moments like this don’t just exist in the present—they pull the past into the room with them. The questioning of intentions. The self-doubt. The pressure to stay quiet and compliant so nothing gets worse.

I’m exhausted from carrying this. From knowing something was wrong and being told it wasn’t. From feeling unsafe and being expected to swallow it.

I keep reminding myself: discomfort is not nothing. Fear doesn’t need permission to be valid. I trusted my instincts today—and even if no one else wants to name it, I know what my body felt.

And that has to count for something.

[bittersweetlemonsherbet]

Thought because I grabbed literally the last tin from the shelf that it would be all duff cards… three shiny cards in a row and this was the last 😫🫶🏼 also got an Espeon n idc that shes common shes perfect

[bittersweetlemonsherbet]

This is a note in my drafts that I really want to send to an old “friend” who has killed six spiders this year…

(pls lmk if it’s too harsh to send but know for context I have been speaking up and trying to correct her until this point….)

You don’t get to frame this as “unlucky” anymore.

When spider after spider dies within days or weeks of arriving, across different species, ages, and sellers, the common denominator stops being chance and starts being you. That’s not an insult—it’s basic logic.

Jumping spiders are not toys, not props, and not something to be interacted with constantly because you want engagement. They are visually intelligent, easily stressed animals that rely on control of their environment to feel safe. Every time you handle them unnecessarily, reposition them, or remove their ability to retreat, you are forcing a stress response.

A spider that freezes on your hand is not calm.
A spider that stops running is not trusting you.
A spider that “lets you do it” is not enjoying it.

Those are stress and shutdown responses, and they are widely documented.

You have repeatedly shown that you do not recognize these signals—or worse, that you recognize them and ignore them. Constant handling, especially with newly arrived or juvenile spiders, is not bonding. It is overwhelming their nervous system. Stress suppresses appetite, disrupts molting, weakens immune response, and leads to death that looks sudden but isn’t.

Hydration is another example where assumption replaced knowledge.

You openly admitted you thought an arid species “didn’t need water”, (I assume from keeping velvet spiders?) then overcorrected when you realized it did. Jumping spiders don’t need soaking substrate or guesswork—they need controlled access to moisture and proper airflow. Both dehydration and excess moisture are fatal. Not knowing where the spider even was in the enclosure, yet still declaring it dead, isn’t a minor mistake. It’s a lack of basic observational care.

Your enclosures prioritize visibility and aesthetics over stability. A plastic plant and dry substrate provide no humidity gradient, no buffering, and no environmental security. That matters. A lot. Spiders regulate themselves through microclimates, and when those don’t exist, stress increases even if everything “looks fine.”

What makes this worse is that the pattern has already shown itself—and instead of stopping, reassessing, and learning, you keep acquiring more spiders. One death can be unfortunate. Two is concerning. Multiple deaths in rapid succession is not coincidence.

Pointing to the one spider that survived longer doesn’t disprove the problem. Survivors don’t erase the ones that didn’t make it—they’re exceptions, not evidence.

This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being responsible. Keeping animals means learning their signals, respecting their boundaries, and accepting that your desire to interact comes second to their welfare. Right now, your behavior shows a priority for handling, novelty, and ownership over understanding.

And that’s why they keep dying.

Not because jumping spiders are fragile.
Not because deaths are inevitable.
But because you are not listening to what they are telling you—until it’s too late.

[bittersweetlemonsherbet]

Incase anyone wondered how that went it was pretty as expected…

[bobdylanyaoi]

2025 stats:

0 dubai chocolate ingested

0 labubus bought

0 episodes of stranger things watched

[bittersweetlemonsherbet]

This is a note in my drafts that I really want to send to an old “friend” who has killed six spiders this year…

(pls lmk if it’s too harsh to send but know for context I have been speaking up and trying to correct her until this point….)

You don’t get to frame this as “unlucky” anymore.

When spider after spider dies within days or weeks of arriving, across different species, ages, and sellers, the common denominator stops being chance and starts being you. That’s not an insult—it’s basic logic.

Jumping spiders are not toys, not props, and not something to be interacted with constantly because you want engagement. They are visually intelligent, easily stressed animals that rely on control of their environment to feel safe. Every time you handle them unnecessarily, reposition them, or remove their ability to retreat, you are forcing a stress response.

A spider that freezes on your hand is not calm.
A spider that stops running is not trusting you.
A spider that “lets you do it” is not enjoying it.

Those are stress and shutdown responses, and they are widely documented.

You have repeatedly shown that you do not recognize these signals—or worse, that you recognize them and ignore them. Constant handling, especially with newly arrived or juvenile spiders, is not bonding. It is overwhelming their nervous system. Stress suppresses appetite, disrupts molting, weakens immune response, and leads to death that looks sudden but isn’t.

Hydration is another example where assumption replaced knowledge.

You openly admitted you thought an arid species “didn’t need water”, (I assume from keeping velvet spiders?) then overcorrected when you realized it did. Jumping spiders don’t need soaking substrate or guesswork—they need controlled access to moisture and proper airflow. Both dehydration and excess moisture are fatal. Not knowing where the spider even was in the enclosure, yet still declaring it dead, isn’t a minor mistake. It’s a lack of basic observational care.

Your enclosures prioritize visibility and aesthetics over stability. A plastic plant and dry substrate provide no humidity gradient, no buffering, and no environmental security. That matters. A lot. Spiders regulate themselves through microclimates, and when those don’t exist, stress increases even if everything “looks fine.”

What makes this worse is that the pattern has already shown itself—and instead of stopping, reassessing, and learning, you keep acquiring more spiders. One death can be unfortunate. Two is concerning. Multiple deaths in rapid succession is not coincidence.

Pointing to the one spider that survived longer doesn’t disprove the problem. Survivors don’t erase the ones that didn’t make it—they’re exceptions, not evidence.

This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being responsible. Keeping animals means learning their signals, respecting their boundaries, and accepting that your desire to interact comes second to their welfare. Right now, your behavior shows a priority for handling, novelty, and ownership over understanding.

And that’s why they keep dying.

Not because jumping spiders are fragile.
Not because deaths are inevitable.
But because you are not listening to what they are telling you—until it’s too late.

[bittersweetlemonsherbet]

Update and more information on my former friend who keeps spiders (for anyone that cares).

-this probably will be quite long since I have a fair bit to say on the current state of things.

So… like I stated in my last post, this friend has been keeping spiders for about the same time I have- about seven months or so with the exception of her regal jumping spider (female) who was a year and one month old when she passed a few weeks ago. In the roughly seven months, she has purchased:

-a male phidippus audax (astonishingly still alive and has just molted)

-an un-sexed phidippus arden (died three days after receiving, admitted she assumed they “didn’t need water” since they are more arid, but also that when she did realise water was required, she may have over-watered. Wasn’t sure *where* the spider was, but sent lots of videos of the empty enclosure sayinf casually “they’re definitely dead in there somewhere).

-an un-sexed phidippus arizonensis (arrived extremely small, was handled constantly and passed away one month after receiving).

- a female (velvet spider) (Stegodyphus dufouri (still alive though again is constantly being handled).

-an unsexed Gandanameno (velvet spider) (died three days after receiving. Handled two+ times in three days.)

I understand keeping any animal, especially arachnids can come with unexpected deaths… but after having one spider death myself in this time (naturally as it was a six months since he matured sadly a week after I got him), my mentality was that I wanted to wait for the next one and optimise the terrarium to ensure it was the best environment I could for whatever my goal was to put in it (currently still in the hard scape stage so doesn’t look like much currently but I have a plan I’ll post on another abnormally large statement…). Her mentality has very much been to get one in once one is out… but it’s actually darker than that, either she is completely ignorant and clueless and shouldn’t keep spiders, OR she is keeping them as accessories and should not keep spiders…let’s get into it.

So first up I should mention that I assumed since she had one jumping spider before I purchased mine, that she would have more knowledge on the topic than me. I called her and asked for advice initially, but came away from the call empty handed since I prefer bioactive terrariums and hers only had substrate with plastic plants and accessories so I asked my close male friend who keeps inverts and frogs who helped me out and showed me what to research etc. I mentioned to him that she kept other things like African land snails but I was surprised of her lack of knowledge of spiders during our call. We both shrugged it off as she only had the one, which by this point had survived four months in her care and was fully matured- so she must be doing something right.

After a week of having my own spider, she had decided to get another. This was the un-sexed phidippus arizonensis. It arrived small, but was handled regardless and passed away about a month after she received it. I noticed her thermostat during the video she sent of the spiders enclosure after passing “confused” as to why it had happened. I told her if the humidity and temperature was correct on the reading, it’s both too humid and too cold. *see picture below*

Despite the advice, she did not try and work on the enclosure and purchased an arden around Halloween from a Facebook ad for a “mystery jumping spider”. The arden was again quite small when it arrived, but as I have the same spider and found him easy to care for, I gave general advice- things like since they are from a more arid area, they generally prefer more arid humidity unless it’s in molt etc. she heard my advice and a week later sent a voice message saying that the spider was missing in the enclosure and she presumed has died but since it’s so small she could not see it in the substrate. During this voice message she stated “I haven’t sprayed it at all so it’s not as though the humidity is too high”. I quite angrily sent a voice message in response saying they still need water to drink so that dehydration is probably why it passed. It was around this time she got her pale lady bird spider.

She then got a phidippus audax which as previously stated is still alive. About two weeks after this time, she handled her regal jumping spider, who was already getting old and left a black cricket in its enclosure, awaking the next morning to find that she had chewed her front leg off during the night. As stated in my previous post, I had words with her again about handling spiders and why it is not necessary, as well as stating that she should not be leaving prey in the enclosure as it could cause injury and could be why she has amputated a limb. She continued to handle the spider, stating that “they love her” although she was forcing them out of their enclosures. During handling not long after, the spider bit her (probably to try and anchor itself since it’s missing a crucial limb) and she flinched, throwing the spider onto the ground. It passed away less than a week later. Whilst telling me this story, she sends a video Snapchat where she is handling her audax, stopping part way through as she lost the spider on her jumper and had to remove it to find him. I said again, I just do not agree with handling spiders especially as frequently as she does. She ignored my message but posted a video on her story handling another new spider- a very small gandanameno.

Flash forward to yeaterday, she sends me more Snapchats. Firstly, handling her gandanemo again, followed by this:

It really upset me, so I asked my boyfriend to film it (I cropped her name out).

The following message read this:

Followed by alarmingly:

I have no issues with taxidermy AS LONG AS IT IS ETHICALLY SOURCED, however from what I know, I do not feel that the spiders lived full lives, nor necessarily happy ones. I should also state the arden isn’t present in the photo because SHE NEVER FOUND IT.

And this is why I stated I’m unsure if the ownership of these spiders is an accessory to her. If she thought of them as pets I’m sure she would have scrubbed up on her knowledge more, but I also feel as though their deaths would be more impactful and not just a means of making more trinkets and getting more to live short, unfulfilling lives.

[bittersweetlemonsherbet]

I think I annoyed my friend by telling her I don’t agree with pet spiders being constantly handled…

So basically this friend kept spiders for a short time before I began, and at least three times a week if not daily, I would be sent snapchats of her removing her from her tank to take videos and photos handling her. One day she tells me that her regal jumper female has lost a front leg (which made my heart sink), but that she was handling her the day before and wasn’t sure how it had “managed to lose a leg” since then. I asked her questions to find out if she had fed her something which could of injured it or if she herself had dropped her to cause injury as spiders don’t tend to just “lose” legs once they are fully matured. She tells me she had put a black cricket in the tank, but that it had not touched it and was still roaming her enclosure (am I insane or is this just not good keeping??) but that since the missing leg was in her bed, it “couldn’t” have been that. I explained to her that if her leg was injured she would chew it off to avoid death essentially and that is probably why it was in her bed, as well as that a large black cricket is probably too large and aggressive for an older jumper and that she shouldn’t leave food to roam for days as again it can cause injury or distress. She continued to handle the seven-legged jumper claiming that “she loves her” and “loves” being held by her. She forcefully takes it out of its enclosure into her hand, and when handling her again after the loss of her leg, she was bitten straight away- and threw the spider onto the floor.

She messaged today with a new spider since her regal passed away a few days after being dropped, handling it in a lengthy video where half way through she lost the spider on her jumper and had to remove it to find it. I replied to the video and simply said I do not find personally that unless it is required for rehoming/medical purposes there is reasons to constantly handle spiders. I have great bonds with mine without the need for forceful holding sessions and that the risk of injury outweighs my want to hold them for personal enjoyment.

She has left me on read for 28 minutes and I feel as though I’ve said something wrong, but in all honesty I don’t understand what it is since I feel it should be obvious to her especially given the circumstances. She even said in the video that she “knows how to handle spiders now” before losing it and it just makes me worry as she keeps buying more.

If anyone has any advice on how to resolve things let me know, or let me know why I’m wrong if you disagree because I am really conflicted and confused on how to handle this.

[bittersweetlemonsherbet]

A lady came into work today rocking an eyeball ring so naturally I commented on it, only to find out she has been rocking this ring 30+ years and bought it in London and said she regretted never getting a blue one because now they are worn by celebrities and are expensive, but added it is a real prosthetic eye and solid silver. I asked if she remembered what the place was called…

[bittersweetlemonsherbet]

My harabiro mantis, Marv, and his recent molt 🫶🏼

[beetlemaxxing]

Week of Ladybug: Steelblue ladybird (Halmus chalybeus)

I'm having a bit of Ladybird mania right now, so I decided to do a week of ladybug. Also, this ladybug is from Australia, so I've decided to call it a ladybird.

This beetle is 3–4 mm (3/32–1/8 in) long and is from Australia! They have been introduced to New Zealand as well, in an attempt to control black and blue gum scale. Which, if you've never heard of them (I hadn't!), is a kind of bug that eats trees that looks, well, like scales (very cool!). Ladybirds are the natural predator of scales so they are used from time to time! This ladybird in particular eats other insects, including scales, psyllids, whitefly and gall mites.

Images: Dorsal view, front view, eating a monarch egg, and the Bluegum scale

1000 days of Beetles (30/1000) <-Previous | Next->

[millipedesonthebrain]

angry about being imprisoned in another container while I cleaned her tank

[onenicebugperday]

What the hell she drew a man

[onenicebugperday]

Ayyyyyy

[bittersweetlemonsherbet]

Staying hydrated!

[goodlouse]

more fanart of famous isopods