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@blackcoffee-skinnythoughts
Me: *eats the proper amount of calories*
Ed: congratulations on your binge bitch
THIS
This time...
This time, I wonât give up half wayâŚ
This time, people will be staring in awe, not in disgustâŚ
This time, I will resit, restrict and take controlâŚ
This time, I will not only reach my goals, but also maintain themâŚÂ
This time, will be the last timeâŚ
âweâre only telling you to stop eating because were worried about your healthâ
sure, were you worried about my health when i was fasting for days on end? when i pretty much couldnt move or breathe because i hadnt eaten in a week and probably had a single cup of water in two days? was it because i wasnt fucking skinny enough back then? did i have to be unbelievably underweight for you to be âworried about my healthâ? well your wish is my fucking command buddy ill stop eating again.
Well after 5 months of ârecoveryâ I am back on my shit! Thatâs right Iâm back my skinny bitches and will be posting daily again. This is in no way to encourage ED in anyone else just my own personal motivation to get thin
so i stopped starving my self but iâm cutting again
Wait till the holidays are over because I will be back on my shit again... whoops
hereâs the thing:
YOU can look beautiful at any weight, I will never judge YOU for your weight.
ME, on the other hand, Iâm disgusting at any weight and I will always judge ME for my weight.
I wishâŚ
I wish I could be one of those people whoâs EDâs swallow them whole, where I can fast for days without thinking. Where I can convince myself Iâm not hungry. Where I have self control 1000% who can go days, weeks, months without a binge.
But Iâm not. My eating is fucking disordered. I can fast for 24 hours then binge, or restrict then one person offers me pizza and I cant resist. All I think about is how fat I am. How I wish I could just be triggered into never wanting to look at food again..but I like food and I hate it. I hate myself for having no self control.
Ig: @im.sun.ann
Tbh I canât tell if this is disordered eating, an eating disorder, or if Iâm dieting and just being dramatic.
Am I the only one who has been treated like shit by boys her whole life for being fat and not attractive enough?
ED culture is either not being able to shit or shitting too much
Thank you for coming to to my TED talk
What I need to remember
NOTHING feels better than updating your CW, not pizza or burgers or ice cream. Remember that the next time binging crosses your mind.
problems of anas starting at an actual obese weight
-your lowest weight is other peoples highest.
-people never noticing that you donât eat due to your weight.
-ACTUALLY being medically fat, not just feeling fat.
-having legitimate problems working out (knees canât handle all the weight, asthma, etc)
-âyou probably shouldnât eat that, should you?â when taking your first bite of a remotely unhealthy food in MONTHS.
-losing over 70lbs and still not be close to âthinâ.
-thinner anas looking down on you because youâre not skinny enough. (actually happened)
-thinner anas telling you to âstop starving yourselfâ or âturn back before you get sickâ when youâve actually been doing this longer than them.
-MORE SIDE EFFECTS!
-being petty and offended when people half your size call themselves fat in front of you, well knowing you weigh twice as much as them. (this is a personal problem but still)
-actually being happy to be at a NORMAL weight for once.Â
-âMY BMI IS FINALLY UNDER 25!â
-lower chances of actually hitting your ugw because your body literally canât lose more.
-LOOSE SKIN. L O T S OF IT.Â
-knowing youâve lost more than most of the fellow anas, but not being able to talk about it because your cw isnât low enough just yet.
so shoutout to all the bigger people with anorexic tendencies, because they deserve way more. because theyâve gone through this pain for so long without enough recognition. because within the ana community, theyâre often not even acknowledged. because THEY ARE VALID TOO.Â
i started at over 250lbs and hit my first plateau at 149, so i do have a right to complain, thank you very much. (iâm just over 5â˛4. just imagine.)
omg this almost made me cry. iâve never related to something this much in my life
âHow did you lose weight so fast â
Me : oh you know exercising and eating better
*laughs in eating disorder *