i don't do bad sauce passes
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Misplaced Lens Cap
occasionally subtle
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
One Nice Bug Per Day
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Monterey Bay Aquarium
cherry valley forever
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YOU ARE THE REASON
Jules of Nature
Peter Solarz
ellievsbear
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DEAR READER
trying on a metaphor
ojovivo
Kaledo Art
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@blackhatcannons
Fill out the form however you'd like. Remember, we are trying to tell a story.
Speaking of which, here’s the first creative-project-promo-thing right now! I’m helping a friend run this, it’s not villianous-related at all, so feel free to participate if that’s your cup of tea!
Hey guys!
Here to say I’m probably not coming back. Life’s gotten busy, I have other projects and whatnot, you know the drill. That being said, if you enjoyed my stuff and are interested in seeing some of the content I’m currently working on, I’ll probably post links here to promote them! (If that’s not your cup of tea then no worries, you can unfollow. i promise I won’t be offended)
thank you all for the joy you’ve brought me. here’s to moving forward, and have a lovely 2020.
Flug rockig Out to Rammstein is my new HC. He can growl too.
pfffffft accepted. hell fucking yeah.
dunno if this has been already said but what if one of the yoga moms go head over heels with black hat. but knowing the eldritch horror he probably doesn't get the concept that giving presents on the 14 of February every year means 'hey i really like you' or love over all.
ehhhhhhh this is kinda treading on shippy territory but i’ll allow it
BH definitely doesn’t know what the fuck a valentine is, but he’d never turn down free shit?? so hell yeah keep the presents coming.
how about head cannons for what everybody thinks is underneath black hats monocle instead of his usual hat bonus points if you include the yoga moms
Bruh I don’t even know what’s under that monocle; honestly i think it’s just a normal eye?? This motherfucker is so extra that he’d wear a monocle just for the villainous aesthetic it gives him–
Flug probably has theories with documented evidence and no conclusive results, dementia thinks its his “big, beautiful, bishounen eyes” and 5.0.5 assumes it’s the portal to hell.
Yoga moms? Probably assume it’s an old injury or scar, those sweet, gullible things.
This isn't really about black hat but imagine flug being on the phone with his mom or whatever and somehow she ends up coming over to see how he's doing and he's just like: oh shit
I honestly can’t picture Flug’s parents?? I can’t even picture what FLUG looks like under the bag ngl
Then again I also feel like flug would jump through every hoop imaginable to keep his mom finding out about his boss, or vice versa. gotta keep the villain life separate, you know?
blackhat has dreams where he changes his forms when he wakes up and doesn't even know he has changed?
oooh sleep shapeshifting, me likey–
A good dream for an eldritch horror is probably something that would give children lifelong trauma and make adults’ bones melt. So what would a nightmare be like?
Two routes to go down here. First, let’s say its basically a good dream for a human. So flying into a field full of fluffy bunnies and rainbows and candy or whatever other bullshit? Absolutely disgusting for an eldritch being. He lashes out in his sleep and ends up destroying quite a large portion of his room before waking up.
The other route is more interesting. What, exactly, is an eldritch abomination afraid of? (Losing his company, losing to the heroes, losing his employees)
His reactions are a bit different, in this case. more defensive instead of offensive. Half-formed tentacles studded with maws fan out across the floor, a thin coating of skin covering every inch of the room. It will obliterate everything the moment there’s contact; like a venus flytrap with the power of a car compactor.
(Dementia is the one who informs the rest of the group; it’s only thanks to her quick reflexes that she escapes the trap intact. Since then, no one disturbs BH while he sleeps. Not worth the risk)
There’s been a few instances where he even sleep-teleports, trying to escape some imaginary foe or rival villain/eldritch being. In these cases he tears the fabric of reality without any caution, grabs the nearest employee-shaped objects (Flug has lost SO many experiments by being nabbed in the middle of a project) and sends them all a couple miles away.
Of course, with all of these, BH wakes up pretty quickly afterwards. It’s really kind of embarrassing for him, and the rest of the manor know not to bring it up, at the risk of losing a limb or two.
flug explains cartoons to black hat and black hat understands them as a way to brain wash children. eh eh
//side eyes i see what you’re doing there
honestly tho this is practically canon, haha. the last three shorts were basically infomercials and product placement--
I have a small game night headcanon! :D The Villainous crew are playing Jenga and it gets to the point where there's no blocks left to pull without it all collapsing. If it's BH's turn he pulls one anyway and makes the tower float.
Flug’s turn is next, he weeps a single tear.
New Year’s at Black Hat’s
((New icon, theme, and title but it’s still me! To celebrate the new year (which I am spending on a plane) let’s take a look at an idea I had at 2am last night!!))
Despite numerous “employee memos” (read: angry notes from BH) advising against holiday celebration, the gang ™ all decide to have a mini-party
Dementia gets absolutely shitfaced, which in human terms means alcohol-poisoning levels and in lizard-experiment terms means the equivalent of a 5-year old on a sugar rush
Flug likes to watch the ball drop tbh, it’s one of life’s simple pleasures and it signifies that he’s survived another year //sobs
BH pokes his head in at one point and is like “….you idiots realize that this isn’t actually the New Year, right.” To which he receives a bunch of confused looks, and gives an ever-suffering sigh in return. “Just. Go to the third garage.”
They all follow him down to the third garage (the first one is for the manor’s own vehicles, the second is for showcasing products for villainy, the third is just filled with crap)
Inside it, Black Hat just points at the fucking giant Mayan mural on the wall, behind the lawnmower and the spare piranha tank
”you see?” he says like it should be obvious how to read ancient Mayan stone carvings, “the correct date is right there! None of this ‘December Thirty-Whatever’ bullshit.”
Flug tries to salvage the night by saying something about how it’s nice to celebrate the start of a new year with resolutions and stuff and BH just. Absolutely kills it by saying his New Years resolution is to be even more villainous. Starting with lowering Flug’s paycheck. Rip Flug.
((Also, a bonus fun fact: our current follower amount, 1,280, is an anagram for 2018. Is that awesome or what!!!
I really can’t understate how much I love and appreciate all of you guys, and I hope to have your support in the new year as well!! May we all have a great 2018!!))
Black Hat only he's obsessed with symmetry like Death The Kid. His monocle is to him like Kid's white hair striped are to Kid.
That would actually make sense as to why he hates Dementia?? His extreme Eldritch OCD would get triggered by her mismatched hair, outfit, everything.
As for why he wears the monocle, I guess it’s more classy than sunglasses. Sometimes aesthetic is worth a bit of discomfort.
It’s hard to find sunglasses that match your aesthetic™
<i>I just choked <b>jesus fucking christ</b></i>
Me: reblogs to the wrong blog
Y’all: let me
@madredhattie aren’t we funny
Black Hat only he's obsessed with symmetry like Death The Kid. His monocle is to him like Kid's white hair striped are to Kid.
That would actually make sense as to why he hates Dementia?? His extreme Eldritch OCD would get triggered by her mismatched hair, outfit, everything.
As for why he wears the monocle, I guess it’s more classy than sunglasses. Sometimes aesthetic is worth a bit of discomfort.
Imagine Alan visiting his son and finding out about the yoga moms and the pta meetings and everything. I really wanny know what would happen in this situation.
I imagine he’d try to join the Yoga Moms (who would absolutely love him tbh) aaaaaand then get promptly cursed out by BH. rip alan you will be missed--
MODS MODS, WHAT IF CAMBOT SPIES ON THE BLACK HAT INC EMPLOYEES OUTSIDE OF VIDEOS AND KNOWS ALL ABOUT THEIR MOST EMBARRASSING SECRETS?
((Just one mod here anon <3))
Ngl cambot doesn’t have that much in terms of blackmail material. Honestly he could make more money off of a channel solely devoted to footage of 5.0.5 being cute
He’s also seen flug’s airplane-patterned pajamas and dementia’s hentai collection, one of which was significantly more terrifying than the other. flug’s dead inside and dementia’s not ashamed, so no profits to be made there
Any attempts to spy on BH normally end with a camera lens breaking and a “mysterious” lack of footage. it’s not worth it. cam bot would rather not get fucking eaten
Me: reblogs to the wrong blog
Y’all: let me
Black hat as a highschool teacher or counselor?
He forges a teacher’s certificate just so that he can start exerting his influence over “the degenerate, teenage scum of this wretched planet—“
Everyone who has his classes spreads tales of their misery: impossibly hard tests and malicious pop quizzes, on top of hours of homework. He’s a world history expert, with an in depth knowledge of global affairs never even mentioned in their textbooks. From the moment you walk in, you’re doomed to fail.
That is, of course, unless you take the extra credit assignments. A one page report on hero weaknesses. A diagram of a trap. A poem singing the praises of your favorite villain (these kids aren’t stupid, they know who they’re supposed to say. They’re also not dumb enough to ask what this assignment has to do with history. Just take the extra credit and don’t question it.)
