Life's a Gamble, keep the dice rollin... @blackjsandgoldchains - Tumblr Blog

Im allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. Die in my arms.

You're dangerous when you're organized. Visualize it, grind for it, watch it manifest. Detach from everything that doesn't make you happy.

hijerking

guys have you ever seen how you weigh a baby giraffe

hijerking

isn’t life great

anti-ordinary

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whitepeopletwitter

maybe-someday-eventually

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blackjsandgoldchains

I’m actually confused here because people tend to bond over shared interests and things they can do together. Smoking weed fits those descriptions to me. I don’t think it’s the most uninteresting thing to share

treygotguap

queenoftongues

CANDY COATED RAAAAAAAIIIIN DROPS!!!!

colourmocha-deactivated20210215

I wanna shake my ass in a nigga face .. it’s long overdue.

blackjsandgoldchains

How convenient... I’m a nigga

afronerdism

Forgiveness is such a trap and I honestly highly recommend not forgiving people who’ve done irreparable damage in your life. Despite what people say, you don’t need to forgive someone to have peace in your life.

quietstorm-thundathighs

I love this song

xphilosoraptorx

Forgiveness isn't for the other person, it's for you. Holding on to anger and resentment can fuck you up, both physically and psychologically.

So yes, you absolutely do need to forgive too have peace in your life, and science backs this up.

afronerdism

It actually doesn’t in fact a lot of therapists talk about forgiveness as a trap and you don’t need to forgive in order to let go of anger and resentment.

I encourage you to read Toxic Parents by Dr. Susan Forward but I’ll include some of what she says about the forgiveness trap here:

“One of the most dangerous things about forgiveness is that it undercuts your ability to let go of your pent-up emotions. How can you acknowledge your anger against a parent whom you’ve already forgiven? Responsibility can go only one of two places: outward, onto the people who have hurt you, or inward, into yourself. Someone’s got to be responsible. So you may forgive your parents but end up hating yourself all the more in exchange.

I also noticed that many clients rushed to forgiveness to avoid much of the painful work of therapy. They believed that by forgiving they could find a shortcut to feeling better. A handful of them ‘forgave,’ left therapy, and wound up sinking even deeper into depression or anxiety.

Several of these clients clung to their fantasies: ‘All I have to do is forgive and I will be healed, I will have wonderful mental health, everybody is going to love everybody, we’ll hug a lot, and we’ll finally be happy.’ Clients all too often discovered that the empty promise of forgiveness had merely set them up for bitter disappointment.”

bird-secrets

I don’t think people will see this but I just want to put it out there, but in DBT (dialectic behavioral therapy) you learn about radical acceptance. This is the process where you understand that what happened to you happened, and agonizing about the fact that it DID happen is a waste of time and energy.

Radical acceptance is not forgiveness. It is not having compassion for those that wronged you, and it is not saying that what happened was ok. It is just saying ‘this is something that happened, I can’t change that it happened, and I’m moving forward’

I hope people are able to find some peace this way.