Humans are very sneaky when it comes to hiding objects, even using their own body to do so. Can you imagine how horrified aliens would be if humans hid objects inside their bodies?
The leader of the archaeological team looked around at his team. They were hiding from the pirates, but they would soon be discovered. “If the pirates find these stones a vital piece of this planet’s history will be lost.”
“Back up is coming, right?” The lone human asked.
The leader nodded. “Yes, but they will not arrive in time.”
“Don’t worry, I got this!” The human said. He grabbed the small pebble like things and put them in his mouth.
The crew did not have long to freak out as the pirates arrived and there was a fight.
After the rescue team arrived and the pirates were dealt with the human spat the stones into his hand. Everyone recoiled in disgust.
“How!” the leader demanded.
“I just kept them in my cheeks,” the human replied.
“How! You spoke normally and even fought!”
“Dude, I have kids. I have to be good at hiding things in my cheeks if I want to snack in piece.”
Specialty Retrieval was interesting with a human. They seemed to have no appreciation for danger. And they were crazy.
The pair had successfully found the chip they were assigned to retrieve and taken it without being located. However, they had a problem. It would soon be discovered that the chip was missing.
“They will do a strip search,” the alien partner said. “We will need to hide the chip and come back for it later.”
“I have a better idea,” the human said. She pulled out a little rubber baggie, put the chip in it and sealed it closed. She took a big drink of water, put the baggie in her mouth, and swallowed it.
“What have you done!” the partner demanded. Had the human lost her mind!
“Relax,” the human said. “The rubber will protect the chip from my stomach acid-”
The alien paled at those words.
“-and the chip is like the size of my thumb nail, so it’ll pass through my digestive track just fine. We’ll get it back by tomorrow.” She smiled brightly.
The alien wanted to bag his head on the wall.
(They survived the strip search, made it off the planet, and did get the chip back the next day)
The five teammates stared at the little statue. It was small, fitting in a human’s palm, but it was big enough that it wouldn’t be easy to hide. How were they going to get it out? They would surely be searched when it was discovered missing, and they wouldn’t be able to leave the planet for another planetary cycle and a half!
The two humans looked at each other. Both seemed apprehensive, which put the rest of the team on edge. If something scared a human, it had to be bad.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Human Steve asked Human James.
Human James nodded grimly. “Rock, Paper, Scissors?”
The aliens stared at the humans has they held out their fists, counted to three, and then made shapes. Human Steve looked at his hand and then swore.
“Sorry bud,” Human James said.
“Give me the statue, and then everyone turned around,” Human Steve said, looking very unhappy.
Confused, but trusting their teammate the three aliens did to. Human James also turned around. They waited in tense silence.
“Okay, we’re good,” Human Steve said.
The four turned around. The statue was gone.
“Where… is the statue?” the team leader asked.
Human Steve grimaced. “You don’t want to know.”
(After they were back at base Human Steve insisted on washing the statue very well and many times before he gave it back)
