I tried to be "normal". The girl who was always last to be picked for group work, the girl behind in pictures. I was silent or rather silenced, when I I tried to speak I felt my throat choke me like someone was forcing these words to stay inside. Shut up, this voice would murmur. Shut up. Close your legs. Be this, be that. Projections that became louder than self. I lost self, in that I lost my identity. The true essence of self.
I loved to hide behind cracked crooked smiles, often times many would say what a beautiful smile you have; I would not believe it. I tried hard to fit in, in that I lost my identity. I was made of fears that were projected on me by the females in my family, so when I stepped outside in the world I was projections of broken (for a lack of a better word) females. I believed I was sad, damaged, angry, unlovable, unfriendable. The house walls got louder as I grew, I hated being home. I started to build homes in exes, lovers, acquaintances, vices. I hated being a girl, close your legs, never wake up after the sunrise, cook, clean, surrender, submit, boys aren't your friends, why do you have a boy as a friend, don't wear short dresses, or skirts nor pants you'll attract the wrong attention. Show less skin, why are you moving your waist like that, why do you move so proactively, why do you dance like that, close your legs.
Today, NOW, I take my power back. I take my true nature back. I take me back with open arms. Welcome Home.
tangentwithtanner
janainaart
blakekathryn
ellievsbear
gummygunk
