Black Skies and Stormy Clouds

Call me Lucy. Works with Lucifer, Beelzebub, and some other spirits/demons. Luciferian, I suppose I'd be...Not sure on that.

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

Well a big fucking thank you to everyone who was fucking concerned about my mental state. 

I swear I'm just going to delete this blog. I mean, it's not like anyone gives a fuck, right? 

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

I love how everyone on here and Facebook are blatantly fucking ignoring me. 

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

I had a seizure today, and ended up hitting my head on the headboard. I don't know how many times I hit it, but I know I hit it after I came to, as well. It felt like I had hit it multiple times...Apparently, I was too far under it as I was trying to nap, and I started having a seizure, and yeah...SO, now BOTH sides of my head hurt. I hit right on that pressure point on the right side of my head. 

This blows...

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

I had a seizure today. 

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

I don't know what to do...I'm having really bad headaches, and I'm afraid I'm going to have a seizure...I'm scared..

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

Hey everyone. 

Seriously, I really am sorry for not being on. It's just, I've been so depressed lately. It's getting out of hand. I have counseling on Thursday, but I might not even say anything about it...

I had what I think was a seizure yesterday. I don't know, I was alone. i remember being awake one minute, at about 4:32, and then I don't remember anything at all. But when I finally came to, I looked at the clock and it was roughly 10 minutes later. I don't know...

It's starting to not be worth it. 

[beaky-peartree]

even white people are sick of white people’s bullshit

[kingsmanlock]

women dont have rights over their own bodies

innocent black people are getting gunned down

people are having to protest for basic human rights

did i just describe 1914 or 2014?

[luna-estrella]

Uh…women do have rights over their own bodies in a majority of first world countries. And what basic humans rights are people protesting for (except maybe whatever is going on in Ferguson)?

(I will completely accept the point about Ferguson though, heard that some nasty shit is going down there)

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

You've got to be kidding, right? 

Women are constantly told what to do with their bodies. Don't get abortions, don't get birth control. Don't wear this, or that. 

And I'm sure that the basic human rights thing is about marriage rights, and the like. 

Sorry if that first sentence sounded rude...

[kingsmanlock]

women dont have rights over their own bodies

innocent black people are getting gunned down

people are having to protest for basic human rights

did i just describe 1914 or 2014?

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

My dad's looking at me weird, and I know exactly why, and it's making me feel bad, but I can't help it. 

I have been having terrible anxiety lately. I haven't told anyone, but I've been feeling suicidal lately. And with Robin Williams' death and my friend saying that she'd hate anyone who would "do that to others", I feel trapped. I've tried to suffocate myself three times in the past week. 

And when I start to have these really bad anxious moments, it feels like bugs are crawling on me, especially my face and head and whatever. And it's really creepy and it makes me constantly move and scratch. I feel even worse because my dad knows this happens to me sometimes, and yet he still laughs at me. 

I don't know what to do anymore...

[organizaxion]

The person I reblogged this from is beautiful.

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

No one will reblog this from me. 

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

Just to see: If you think that suicide is cowardly and the person isn't a victim and should be looked down upon, like this. If you think that they were victims and deserve respect in death, no matter how they died, reblog this.

Thank you. 

[shitpostingvevo]

You also have these baby teenage mutant ninja turtles to protect you.

[mvlti-threxded]

This is actually such a good tactic for people with serious anxiety problems. Thank you. Really. Omg.

[lottiethewitch-deactivated20250]

Also immunity cat protects your blog from “if you don’t reblog I’m judging you” posts

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

Having a lengthy discussion on FB with one of my friends on suicide and Robin Williams. She's convinced that they're all cowards and should be looked down upon. 

It's not that I'm romanticizing this. It's just that she said he didn't think about his family. I have a strong feeling he did. I mean, I've attempted suicide multiple times, and every time I've tried, the only thing going through my mind was how my family would be so relieved that I'd be gone. It wasn't a feeling of "Man, I feel like hurting and scarring my family for life!" It was more of a feeling of, "I'm going to miss you, but you'll be better off without me." 

I don't think suicide is a good option. I know it's not. But if we tell people that it's cowardly, or that you'll be looked down upon, and if you already feel like you're looked down upon, what are you going to do? You're going to bottle up all your emotions. You're going to think that no matter what you do, no one will love you. This is why people need to stop telling others that they'll forever be un-loved if they kill themselves, and start telling them that they love them now. Maybe then there wouldn't be so many suicides...

[yourbritneyspearsanon-blog]

Reblog if you actually give a shit about anyone who's suicidal or depressed.

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

no one should scroll past this

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

Have been working on journals. I have them on Evernote right now. I think that's where I will keep them for a while. I don't know. But I'm slowly getting everything together.

[blackskiesandstormyclouds-blog]

I literally cried upon hearing the news about Robin William's death. The world has lost such a great guy. 

May he rest in peace.