Keni
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Mike Driver
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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Game Changer & Make Some Noise
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
@theartofmadeline
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ojovivo
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occasionally subtle
Color Me Curious
if i look back, i am lost
RMH
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@blairain
Spiderman - Masterlist
I want you baby so bad...
All my fics about Peter Parker 🕸 More coming up !!
TASM! -> Andrew's Spiderman
MCU! -> Tom's Spiderman
I Knew It, I Knew You - MCU! Peter Parker
Forever Winter - TASM! Peter Parker
Ruin the Friendship - MCU! Peter Parker
You Belong With Me - TASM! Peter Parker
Stupid Song - MCU! Peter Parker (mini serie)
i have a miniserie in my drafts..., mcu!peterparker x photographer!reader... should i post it? ##thinking
crying cause this song is so peterparker bnd coded
Ruin the Friendship
Pairing: peter parker x reader
Summary: when someone makes a toast at your high school graduation, thanking everyone for their friendship, Peter catches your eye and mouths a quiet, "Thanks". But you don't respond. Because you came to this party determined to ruin your friendship before the night is over.
Warnings: friends to lovers, fluff!!!, mentions of drinking (english is not my first language)
my masterlist ☆
Shiny wood floors underneath my feet Disco ball makes everything look cheap Have fun, It's prom
Guilt begins to settle heavily in your chest, your stomach twisting uncomfortably, it's from the nerves or the drinks you'd been downing all night in a desperate attempt to find the courage? You can't tell.
Your eyes drift across the room until they find Peter. He's talking to Ned, having the time of his life. Then your mind flashes back to a few minutes earlier, when he'd caught your eye during the toast, smiled softly, and silently mouthed, "Thank you"
He'd been thanking you for the friendship you'd shared throughout all of high school. And all you'd spent the entire night doing was planning to ruin it forever.
You're starting to have second thoughts, but you push them away almost immediately. You have to do this.
After tonight, you're no longer high school students. You'll both be off to college, and maybe it's selfish, but you can't leave without telling Peter that you love him.
Not as a friend.
There's no way you're starting this new chapter with a list of regrets. A list of all the moments you should've kissed him...
...but didn't.
Like that afternoon in his bedroom, when the two of you were supposed to be cramming for your Literature final. Instead, you both fell asleep tangled together on his bed, textbooks scattered across the floor.
Or that night he tapped on your bedroom window, still wearing his suit, bruises blooming across his face. You'd helped him inside and reached for your first-aid kit, but he'd gently stopped you.
"I didn't come here to steal your bandages..." he'd murmured with a tired smile. "I just... I needed to see you"
So you never opened the kit. You simply sat beside him until sunrise, making sure he was okay.
"Are you having a good time?"
You jump slightly. Somehow, Peter has found his way to your side.
"I know we've got a lot coming up" he says, leaning against the wall beside you. "But the whole point of tonight is to forget about all that for a while. Don't overthink it"
You let out a quiet laugh. "Yeah... you're right"
Truth is, neither of you has really talked about what comes after graduation.
You know he's hoping to get into MIT, and you've applied to a few schools nearby... But that doesn't guarantee anything.
"Okay" Peter says, studying your face. "What's going on?"
His voice is softer now. He knows you too well.
He can tell you're nervous.
"Honestly?"
He nods.
Without another word, he slips his hand into yours and leads you through the house, up the narrow staircase, until you reach the rooftop.
The music is muffled up there, replaced by the distant sounds of New York at night.
Peter turns to face you. "Talk to me"
You take a shaky breath. "I'm scared you're going to forget about me once we leave for college"
Peter blinks. "What?"
"Maybe you'll meet someone better at MIT. Maybe classes, exams... Spiderman... Maybe it'll all become too much, and you won't have time for me anymore" The words escape out before you can stop them. "People graduate, and suddenly they never see each other again"
Peter stays quiet. Because he'd thought about it too.
"What if..." he says after a moment, "...you find a quieter life? A normal one" He gives you a small, sad smile. "What if one day you decide dealing with me is just... too much?"
You shake your head immediately. "I could never forget you, Peter"
"You don't know that"
"I do. Because you don't forget the people you love"
The words hang between you.
Peter smiles with relief. "I love you too" He reaches for your hand again. "See? We're not losing each other. I won't let that happen"
You let out a nervous laugh and slowly pull your hand away. "You don't understand," his smile fades and your heart pounds so hard you're sure he can hear it. "Peter... I love you"
Silence. Complete silence.
"And I'm sorry," you continue, your voice barely above a whisper. "I know you thanked me for our friendship tonight... But honestly? Fuck the friendship. I don't want to be just your friend anymore" You look down at your shoes. "I know that's selfish. I know I might be ruining everything between us..." You finally meet his eyes. "But I love you"
The night breeze brushes against your skin. Only then do you realize how close the two of you are. Your hands are barely inches apart. His eyes never leave yours, and look at you shining with something that looks dangerously like hope.
After what feels like forever, Peter lets out a quiet chuckle.
"So..." He tilts his head. "This is how you were planning to ruin our friendship?"
A shy smile tugs at your lips. "...Yeah"
He laughs again, shaking his head. "You beat me to it"
You frown. "What?"
"I was planning on telling you too"
Your breath catches. Peter steps closer until there's barely any space left between you. "Wherever you are..."
His fingers intertwine with yours.
"...that's where I want to be"
He smiles—the same smile you've been hopelessly in love with for years.
"I'd follow you to any corner of the universe", his thumb brushes gently over your knuckles."Because I love you"
The words steal the air from your lungs. Peter's smile grows slowly, like he's finally allowing himself to feel something he's been holding back for far too long.
"I kept telling myself it was just because you were my best friend," he admits quietly. "That it was normal to miss you after a day apart. That it was normal to look for you in every room. That it was normal to want to tell you everything before anyone else...", he lets out a breathless laugh, "...It wasn't."
"I think..." he says, taking another careful step towards you, "I think I fell in love with you a long time ago"
You laugh through the tears threatening to spill. "So we're both idiots."
"Oh, absolutely."
A comfortable silence settles between you. Peter looks at your lips for only a second before meeting your eyes again.
"So..."
"So?"
"Can I kiss you?" You smile so hard it almost hurts and nod at him. He reaches up carefully, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he moves too fast, and cups your cheek.
His thumb brushes softly across your skin.
When he finally kisses you, it's gentle.
Like he's been dreaming about it for years and can't quite believe it's real.
You smile against his lips. He smiles too.
"You smiled" he whispers.
"I couldn't help it"
"Good"
He leans in again, this time without hesitation.
The second kiss is longer. Warmer.
One hand slips around your waist while yours find the back of his neck, fingers disappearing into his curls.
The city fades away. The music from the party becomes nothing more than distant noise.
It's just you and him.
When you finally pull away, you're both laughing for no reason other than the overwhelming relief of knowing neither of you has to hide anymore.
"So..." Peter murmurs, forehead resting against yours. "I guess we really did ruin the friendship."
Lately, we've been good Staying friends is safe, doesn't mean you should
Cardboard boxes are scattered across your tiny dorm room, half of your clothes are still stuffed into suitcases, and somehow Peter is already trying to figure out how to fit your bookshelf into a corner that is clearly too small.
"I swear it fit in the measurements online."
You laugh.
"Peter."
"What?"
"You're trying to put it upside down."
He freezes, staring at the shelf before rubbing the back of his neck, "...that explains a lot."
You can't help but laugh harder. He smiles at the sound.
God, he'd missed making you laugh.
Once everything is finally unpacked—or at least shoved somewhere that resembles organized—Peter collapses onto your bed with an exaggerated groan.
"That was torture"
"You volunteered"
"I know"
"You also insisted on carrying every single heavy box"
"I was showing off"
"You always do"
He grins. "For the record... it worked"
You roll your eyes, unable to hide your smile. Peter reaches into one of the grocery bags by the door and pulls out two cans of soda. "I think this deserves a celebration." He cracks one open before handing it to you.
"A toast?" You raise an eyebrow.
"A toast", he lifts his can, "To my best friend—"
You immediately cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at him. "Oh, really?"
Peter blinks before bursting into laughter. "Wait, no! Let me finish"
You try to keep a straight face. He clears his throat dramatically.
"To my best friend...", a smile spreads across his face, "...who accidentally became the love of my life."
You feel your cheeks warm instantly. "Accidentally?"
"I mean..." he shrugs. "It wasn't exactly part of the plan"
"No?"
"No...", he steps closer until he's standing right in front of you, "...But I can't think of a better ending"
You laugh, shaking your head. "You are such a dork."
"I've been told."
He gently hooks a finger under your chin. "And to the girl who proved that confessing your feelings doesn't ruin friendships..., but sometimes it gives you everything you've ever wanted"
He clinks his can against yours.
"To us"
"To us"
Neither of you drinks. Instead, Peter kisses you softly.
My advice is always ruin the friendship Better that than regret it for all time
You Belong With Me
Pairing: TASM! Peter Parker x reader
Summary: peter parker can fight villains, save the city, and somehow still fail at dating. after another relationship falls apart, he asks his best friend for advice. he expects an explanation, maybe some dating tips… but he doesn’t expect you to look him in the eyes and say: “it’s because you belong with me.”
Warnings: none! fluff and just two friends in love.
my spiderman masterlist ☆
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you Been here all along, so why can't you see?
Peter knew he was good at a lot of things.
Science. Saving people. Getting himself into trouble.
But dating? Not so much.
You found him sitting on your couch, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. It wasn't unusual for you to come home and find him already there. He used to come through the window once he finished patrolling, but after he broke it, you gave him a spare key (but yeah, he still likes to use the window for the old times).
Peter's favorite thing was hanging out at your apartment, especially after spending the entire day being Spiderman. But today, he wasn't wearing the suit. He wasn't waiting for you to help him patch up a wound, and he wasn't ready for your usual movie night.
He was just there...
You stopped in the doorway.
“You had a bad date” you guessed.
Peter didn't even look at you. “How do you always know?”
“Lucky guess"
That was a lie. It was obvious. He looked miserable. He was dressed up pretty decently, covered in perfume, with a bag from a kind of fancy restaurant sitting next to him, along with the leftovers.
“It's over.”
“The date?”
“The relationship”
“You've known her for nine days"
“That's what I am saying”
You laughed as you walked over and dropped onto the couch beside him. “Okay. What happened with this one?”
“Nothing”
“Peter... talk to me”
“Nothing happened. That's the problem"
You waited. Peter finally turned his head toward you. He didn't look sad. He looked puzzled, like he was trying to figure out what was wrong himself.
“She was great. She was nice. Funny. Smart. She liked my jokes”
“You have good jokes?”
“Very funny”
“Thanks”
He smiled for half a second before his expression fell again. “She just wasn't...”
He trailed off, like he didn't know what to say or how to finish his sentence.
“Wasn't what?”
“I don't know”
You raised an eyebrow. That caught your curiosity. “Into you?”
“No”
“Too into you?”
“No”
“Annoying?”
“No”
“Anyway. It didn't work"
You got up and went to the fridge, grabbing a tub of ice cream and two spoons. “When I was fifteen and got my heart broken for the first time, my mom gave me some chocolates”
“What's the logic behind that?”
“You can be sad and stare at the ceiling... or you can be sad while eating chocolate. I don't have chocolate, but I have ice cream"
“Fair enough”
He accepted one of the spoons, and you both sat on the couch, eating in silence for a while. Eventually, he spoke again.
“Maybe it's just not for me...”
“You've said that about every girl you've dated this year”
Peter groaned. “Please don't remind me of all my failures”
“Don't call it that. It's not a failure. Those are girls you just didn't quite connect with. But it wasn't a fail or a waste of time”
“I know", he leaned back against the couch, rubbing his face. “I just... I don't understand what I'm doing wrong”
There it was. The real reason he'd come over.
Peter always made jokes when he was upset. He always pretended things didn't bother him until they did. And whenever he actually needed someone, he came to you.
“You came for my advice?”
“Yes...”
“Why? Because I'm a girl?”
“Because you've actually had one or two relationships that lasted more than ten days”
You laughed. “You really want to hear it?”
“Please”
“You're going to hate it”
“Probably”
“And you're going to argue with me”
“Like always”
You sighed. “Okay”
Peter sat up a little, “So?”
“So... I don't think there's anything wrong with you”
He blinked. “That was surprisingly nice. I was expecting a speech telling me that I was actually ugly and had to come to terms with that”
“Don't get used to my kindness”
He smiled. “So there's a but?”
“But...”, you nodded, agreeing with his own words, “I think you're trying too hard.”
Peter frowned. “To date?”
“To find someone”
He stared at you.
“You go on a date, and immediately you're wondering if she could be the one. Then you spend the entire time trying to figure out if you're compatible, if destiny brought you two together...”
“I do not” he said defensively.
“You absolutely do. You interrogate them”
“I ask questions to get to know them, yeah”
“You asked someone her five-year plan on the second date”
“Because she brought up her career”
“You asked if she wanted kids”
“That is important, right?”
“You asked if she wanted marriage”
Peter shrugged. “It's good to know these things, to see if you're on the same page”
You laughed. “Peter, you're twenty-something. You're not running out of time”
He looked at you for a moment. “Okay, so what am I supposed to do?”
“Nothing”
“Nothing?”
“Just go on a date. Have fun. Talk to someone. Stop trying to decide whether you're going to marry them before the check is on the table”
Peter considered that. “That's your advice?”
“That's my advice.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay..., that wasn't so bad...”, then he looked at you again. “But what if it still doesn't work?”
You shrugged. “Then it doesn't work”
“Great”
“Peter”
“What?”
“Don't think too much about it”
Something in your voice made him quiet. He smiled.
“Thanks”
And for a moment, neither of you said anything. Then Peter grabbed the ice cream back from you.
“Get your own. I'm the one who's sad, remember?”
And you've got a smile that can light up this whole town I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
Two weeks later, you found yourselves in the same spot.
When you got back from work, he was already there. Same couch. Same tired expression.
You looked at him. “Another one?”
Peter nodded. “How long?”
“Eleven days”
“That’s great! We broke the ten-day curse”
“I thought so too, but then...”
You sat beside him. “What happened?”
“She said I wasn't emotionally available”
You stared at him. Peter stared back. Then you burst out laughing. “What's funny?”
“I honestly didn't expect that. Why did she tell you that?”
Peter started to tell you about the entire evening, and little by little, everything started to make sense.
“Peter, you spent the entire evening checking your phone. Maybe that gave her the wrong impression”
“But I told her, I was waiting for you”
The words came out so naturally that neither of you reacted at first. Then Peter blinked.
You looked at him. “What?”
“Nothing”
He looked away, but then added, “I was waiting for your text, telling me you got to work okay, dropping the gossip from the office like you always do. That's a fun part of my day”, Peter cleared his throat. “Anyway... you got ice cream?”
You smiled. “I finished it earlier, but... what about some chocolate cake?”
“That’ll do”
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
A month had passed. You kept meeting from time to time, and every time, you tried to avoid hearing or knowing anything about his dates.
At first, it was easy to push it down. He might go on dates, but you still had movie nights with him. You still helped him when he was feeling sad, keeping him company when being Spiderman got too lonely.
But right now, none of that felt like enough anymore.
You couldn't keep pretending it didn't bother you. You didn't remember exactly when you fell for Peter. There wasn't an exact moment when it happened. It just did.
He warmed your heart every time he looked at you, but you kept all of that to yourself because Peter needed a best friend by his side. And with everything that came with being Spiderman, you decided you couldn't confess your feelings and complicate things even more for him.
But then he started dating a different girl every week. Some dates ended with just one dinner; others lasted through a walk in the park and lunch. None of them lasted, but hearing about them was still awful.
Because those girls were nothing like you. Not at all. Which only showed you, over and over again, that you had no chance with him.
You tried to escape all of that. But Peter showed up at your apartment at nearly midnight.
He got in through the window because he was still in his full suit, and you watched him from your couch, his mask hanging from one hand.
“You okay?”
“I am”
“You look terrible”
“So sweet”
“You're welcome"
He walked inside. Peter dropped onto the couch. You sat up and started inspecting him, trying to see if he was hurt. “Bad night?”
“Not really”
“Bad date?”
“No date tonight”
“Then what's wrong?”
Peter sighed. “I don't know”
You waited. He looked down at his hands.
“I think I'm tired”
“Of what?”
“That stuff..., you know”
He gestured vaguely.
“Dating?”
“Yeah”
You nodded. “Then stop”
“That's the thing...”, he looked at you. “I don't want to.”
Your chest tightened. “Why?”
“Because I want it to work”
“But you just said you're tired. Like you hate it”
“I am. I do”
“Then why keep doing it?”
Peter looked at you for a long moment. “I don't know”
You knew. Or at least, you hoped so. You just didn't know if you could say it out loud to him the way you'd said it to yourself.
Peter leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
“I wonder what's wrong with me”
“There’s nothing wrong with you”
“You keep saying that”
“Because it's true”
“Then why doesn't it work?”
You didn't answer right away.
“Why?”
“Peter…”
“What?”
“You really want to know?”
He nodded. You looked at him. And maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the exhaustion. Maybe you were simply tired of watching him search for something that had been in front of him all along. So you said it.
“It's because you belong with me”
Peter froze. Completely. And you immediately regretted it.
His eyes widened as you looked away.
“Forget I said that, please”
“No”
“Peter, please”
“You said I belong with you”
“I don't know, just…”
“You weren't joking when you said it”
“No”
He stared at you. You could feel your heartbeat in your throat. You looked at him, and suddenly, you couldn't take it back. “I meant that maybe you're looking for something that you've already had for years.”
Peter's expression changed. He looked confused.
Then thoughtful.
Then something you couldn't quite read.
“Us?”
You nodded.
“Maybe”
Neither of you moved. Peter looked down, then back at you. “Why didn't you tell me?”
You laughed nervously. “You were busy”
“That doesn't answer the question”
“It kind of does”
“No, it doesn't”
You looked away.
“Because I didn't want to lose you”
That shut him up. For a few seconds, the room was completely silent. Then Peter spoke quietly.
“You're not going to lose me”
“You don't know that”
“I do”
You looked at him. He was smiling, but barely.
“I just…”
He stopped.
“What?”
“I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now”
You smiled sadly. “You don't have to say anything”
“But I feel like I should”
“Peter…”
“I just need time”
You nodded. “Fine”
He looked relieved. “It's okay?”
“It is”, you stood up. “It's late. We both need some rest.”
Peter stayed seated. “Right”
He got up slowly. He walked toward the window.
Then stopped. “Goodnight”
“Goodnight, Peter”
He opened the window. Then hesitated.
“You know this doesn't change anything, right?”
You smiled faintly. That was the problem.
Standing by and waiting at your backdoor All this time how could you not know, baby?
The next morning, Peter texted you.
Are you awake?
You stared at the message.
Unfortunately, why?
Three dots appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again.
i can't stop thinking about what you said
Your stomach dropped.
don't think too much about it. It's okay, we can talk later.
His answer came almost immediately.
i know
A pause. The typing bubble appeared, stayed there. Then vanished with no answer.
You put your phone down.
You told yourself it was okay.
Peter needed time. You weren't going to chase him.
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me
Three days passed. Then four.
Peter still came over. Still texted you.
Still made you laugh.
But something had changed. He started looking at you differently. You noticed it when he caught himself staring during movie night; when he reached for your hand out of habit and stopped halfway; when he almost said something, then changed his mind.
And you didn't push.
Neither did he.
Until one evening, when you were both sitting on the fire escape outside your apartment, Peter was unusually quiet, your words still running through his mind.
“You're thinking about it again” you said.
He smiled. “Maybe”
“I'm fine, alright? Don't worry about it. We can pretend nothing happened”
He looked at you, ignoring everything you'd just said.
“I think I understand now”
You didn't ask what he meant. You waited.
Peter took a breath. “I don't think I was looking for the right person”, your heart skipped, “I think I was looking for the right feeling, actually. Trying to find something that felt like what I already knew.”
You looked at him. “And?”
“And you were right. I've had it for a long time, and nothing ever came close to it”
You didn't move. Neither did he.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure"
“If I asked you out… would you say yes?”
You looked at him for a moment. Then smiled.
“Ask me properly first”
Peter laughed. “Okay”
He straightened up, suddenly nervous.
“You want to go on a date with me?”
You pretended to think about it. “I don't know… As far as you've told me, all your dates end badly”
Peter groaned. “You're impossible...so, I'll take you on a date”
“Finally”
“Finally?”
“Yes. Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for you to figure this out?”
Peter laughed again. “Apparently, way too long”
“You're lucky I'm still interested”
“I am”
The answer came so easily that you both went quiet for a second. Peter smiled. “I promise I'll make it worth the wait”
You raised an eyebrow. “That's a pretty big promise”
“I know”
“And what if our date ends badly?”
He grinned. “Then I'll take you on another one”
You laughed. “That's not how dating works”
“Maybe it should be”
You shook your head, smiling. “Okay, Parker. One date”
“One date”
“And you'd better plan it yourself”
Peter's smile widened. “I can do that”
“Why do you feel so confident?”
“Well, the ten-day trial already passed for us”
You laughed. “That's your argument?”
“It's a pretty strong one”
He stood up, brushing his hands against his pants. “Tomorrow at seven”
“Okay. It's a date”, you smiled.
“It's a date”, Peter smiled back.
And for once, he didn't need to look for anything else.
He belongs wherever you are.
Have you ever thought, just maybe You belong with me? You belong with me
Ruin the Friendship
Pairing: peter parker x reader
Summary: when someone makes a toast at your high school graduation, thanking everyone for their friendship, Peter catches your eye and mouths a quiet, "Thanks". But you don't respond. Because you came to this party determined to ruin your friendship before the night is over.
Warnings: friends to lovers, fluff!!!, mentions of drinking (english is not my first language)
my masterlist ☆
Shiny wood floors underneath my feet Disco ball makes everything look cheap Have fun, It's prom
Guilt begins to settle heavily in your chest, your stomach twisting uncomfortably, it's from the nerves or the drinks you'd been downing all night in a desperate attempt to find the courage? You can't tell.
Your eyes drift across the room until they find Peter. He's talking to Ned, having the time of his life. Then your mind flashes back to a few minutes earlier, when he'd caught your eye during the toast, smiled softly, and silently mouthed, "Thank you"
He'd been thanking you for the friendship you'd shared throughout all of high school. And all you'd spent the entire night doing was planning to ruin it forever.
You're starting to have second thoughts, but you push them away almost immediately. You have to do this.
After tonight, you're no longer high school students. You'll both be off to college, and maybe it's selfish, but you can't leave without telling Peter that you love him.
Not as a friend.
There's no way you're starting this new chapter with a list of regrets. A list of all the moments you should've kissed him...
...but didn't.
Like that afternoon in his bedroom, when the two of you were supposed to be cramming for your Literature final. Instead, you both fell asleep tangled together on his bed, textbooks scattered across the floor.
Or that night he tapped on your bedroom window, still wearing his suit, bruises blooming across his face. You'd helped him inside and reached for your first-aid kit, but he'd gently stopped you.
"I didn't come here to steal your bandages..." he'd murmured with a tired smile. "I just... I needed to see you"
So you never opened the kit. You simply sat beside him until sunrise, making sure he was okay.
"Are you having a good time?"
You jump slightly. Somehow, Peter has found his way to your side.
"I know we've got a lot coming up" he says, leaning against the wall beside you. "But the whole point of tonight is to forget about all that for a while. Don't overthink it"
You let out a quiet laugh. "Yeah... you're right"
Truth is, neither of you has really talked about what comes after graduation.
You know he's hoping to get into MIT, and you've applied to a few schools nearby... But that doesn't guarantee anything.
"Okay" Peter says, studying your face. "What's going on?"
His voice is softer now. He knows you too well.
He can tell you're nervous.
"Honestly?"
He nods.
Without another word, he slips his hand into yours and leads you through the house, up the narrow staircase, until you reach the rooftop.
The music is muffled up there, replaced by the distant sounds of New York at night.
Peter turns to face you. "Talk to me"
You take a shaky breath. "I'm scared you're going to forget about me once we leave for college"
Peter blinks. "What?"
"Maybe you'll meet someone better at MIT. Maybe classes, exams... Spiderman... Maybe it'll all become too much, and you won't have time for me anymore" The words escape out before you can stop them. "People graduate, and suddenly they never see each other again"
Peter stays quiet. Because he'd thought about it too.
"What if..." he says after a moment, "...you find a quieter life? A normal one" He gives you a small, sad smile. "What if one day you decide dealing with me is just... too much?"
You shake your head immediately. "I could never forget you, Peter"
"You don't know that"
"I do. Because you don't forget the people you love"
The words hang between you.
Peter smiles with relief. "I love you too" He reaches for your hand again. "See? We're not losing each other. I won't let that happen"
You let out a nervous laugh and slowly pull your hand away. "You don't understand," his smile fades and your heart pounds so hard you're sure he can hear it. "Peter... I love you"
Silence. Complete silence.
"And I'm sorry," you continue, your voice barely above a whisper. "I know you thanked me for our friendship tonight... But honestly? Fuck the friendship. I don't want to be just your friend anymore" You look down at your shoes. "I know that's selfish. I know I might be ruining everything between us..." You finally meet his eyes. "But I love you"
The night breeze brushes against your skin. Only then do you realize how close the two of you are. Your hands are barely inches apart. His eyes never leave yours, and look at you shining with something that looks dangerously like hope.
After what feels like forever, Peter lets out a quiet chuckle.
"So..." He tilts his head. "This is how you were planning to ruin our friendship?"
A shy smile tugs at your lips. "...Yeah"
He laughs again, shaking his head. "You beat me to it"
You frown. "What?"
"I was planning on telling you too"
Your breath catches. Peter steps closer until there's barely any space left between you. "Wherever you are..."
His fingers intertwine with yours.
"...that's where I want to be"
He smiles—the same smile you've been hopelessly in love with for years.
"I'd follow you to any corner of the universe", his thumb brushes gently over your knuckles."Because I love you"
The words steal the air from your lungs. Peter's smile grows slowly, like he's finally allowing himself to feel something he's been holding back for far too long.
"I kept telling myself it was just because you were my best friend," he admits quietly. "That it was normal to miss you after a day apart. That it was normal to look for you in every room. That it was normal to want to tell you everything before anyone else...", he lets out a breathless laugh, "...It wasn't."
"I think..." he says, taking another careful step towards you, "I think I fell in love with you a long time ago"
You laugh through the tears threatening to spill. "So we're both idiots."
"Oh, absolutely."
A comfortable silence settles between you. Peter looks at your lips for only a second before meeting your eyes again.
"So..."
"So?"
"Can I kiss you?" You smile so hard it almost hurts and nod at him. He reaches up carefully, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he moves too fast, and cups your cheek.
His thumb brushes softly across your skin.
When he finally kisses you, it's gentle.
Like he's been dreaming about it for years and can't quite believe it's real.
You smile against his lips. He smiles too.
"You smiled" he whispers.
"I couldn't help it"
"Good"
He leans in again, this time without hesitation.
The second kiss is longer. Warmer.
One hand slips around your waist while yours find the back of his neck, fingers disappearing into his curls.
The city fades away. The music from the party becomes nothing more than distant noise.
It's just you and him.
When you finally pull away, you're both laughing for no reason other than the overwhelming relief of knowing neither of you has to hide anymore.
"So..." Peter murmurs, forehead resting against yours. "I guess we really did ruin the friendship."
Lately, we've been good Staying friends is safe, doesn't mean you should
Cardboard boxes are scattered across your tiny dorm room, half of your clothes are still stuffed into suitcases, and somehow Peter is already trying to figure out how to fit your bookshelf into a corner that is clearly too small.
"I swear it fit in the measurements online."
You laugh.
"Peter."
"What?"
"You're trying to put it upside down."
He freezes, staring at the shelf before rubbing the back of his neck, "...that explains a lot."
You can't help but laugh harder. He smiles at the sound.
God, he'd missed making you laugh.
Once everything is finally unpacked—or at least shoved somewhere that resembles organized—Peter collapses onto your bed with an exaggerated groan.
"That was torture"
"You volunteered"
"I know"
"You also insisted on carrying every single heavy box"
"I was showing off"
"You always do"
He grins. "For the record... it worked"
You roll your eyes, unable to hide your smile. Peter reaches into one of the grocery bags by the door and pulls out two cans of soda. "I think this deserves a celebration." He cracks one open before handing it to you.
"A toast?" You raise an eyebrow.
"A toast", he lifts his can, "To my best friend—"
You immediately cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at him. "Oh, really?"
Peter blinks before bursting into laughter. "Wait, no! Let me finish"
You try to keep a straight face. He clears his throat dramatically.
"To my best friend...", a smile spreads across his face, "...who accidentally became the love of my life."
You feel your cheeks warm instantly. "Accidentally?"
"I mean..." he shrugs. "It wasn't exactly part of the plan"
"No?"
"No...", he steps closer until he's standing right in front of you, "...But I can't think of a better ending"
You laugh, shaking your head. "You are such a dork."
"I've been told."
He gently hooks a finger under your chin. "And to the girl who proved that confessing your feelings doesn't ruin friendships..., but sometimes it gives you everything you've ever wanted"
He clinks his can against yours.
"To us"
"To us"
Neither of you drinks. Instead, Peter kisses you softly.
My advice is always ruin the friendship Better that than regret it for all time
I Knew It, I Knew You.
pairing: peter parker x reader
summary: the spell erased peter parker from your memories. but it didn't erase the way your heart recognized him.
warnings: fluff, strangers to friends to lovers again.
english is not my first language
And you told me I loved you Came back when it mattered, I saw you
He should be laughing, but all he wanted to do was cry.
Peter closed the door to his apartment so hard it almost shook the entire building. He was angry, and he had no one to blame but himself.
He had messed with the multiverse, and now the universe was messing with him by putting you in his path again.
Peter had seen you on the subway an hour ago. You had sat right in front of him, but not once you looked his way. And he couldn't bring himself to look at anyone or anything else.
You were different, and that made sense. You weren't in high school anymore. Your hair was longer, your clothes were more formal, and you carried a bag full of papers—from college or work, he guessed.
He started wondering if you were studying and, if you were, whether you had finally found a major that inspired you. Or maybe you'd found a job you were passionate about.
Were you still in touch with your old friends? Did you still talk to Ned? Did you still hang out together and ever feel like someone was missing?
Had you moved closer to his apartment? Was that why he had seen you for the first time in so long on the subway he took every single day?
He wanted to talk to you, to scream, "Hey, it's me. I'm here. I always have been." But he couldn't, and he knew exactly why.
Even though he missed you and still loved you.
Back in high school, nothing could separate the two of you—not even the crazy life Peter had been hiding from you. He wanted to go back to those days so badly... back to the day you met, to your first kiss, back to the couch in your living room where you used to cuddle until your little brother barged in, screaming that you were kissing and that it was disgusting. He even missed that little demon.
How much had changed since he left? Since all of you forgot about him? Maybe you'd grown into someone so different that he wouldn't even recognize you anymore, and that thought terrified him.
The subway arriving at the last stop pulled Peter out of his thoughts. You gathered your things, and as you did, your eyes met his.
He froze. And you...
You smiled.
You smiled right at him before stepping off the train, and Peter knew that some things never really changed.
But now he was going crazy within the four walls of his apartment.
Should he run after you? Try to explain everything? Would you believe him? Would it be selfish? After all, he would be putting you in danger again, wouldn't he? Would you remember that you loved him?
He had no idea what to do, and he had no one to talk to, no one to call for advice.
He was completely alone, and Peter had finally started coming to terms with that miserable reality.
But seeing you tonight... It brought everything back.
He loved you. In every single universe.
Life has ways of leaving those days behind But seeing you tonight I remembered I loved you.
Three days later, Peter was on the subway again, in the same spot and at the same time as always, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't looking for you.
Ever since he saw you again, he'd been torturing himself, replaying over and over the last time the two of you saw each other—back when you still knew who he was.
You found out he was Spider-Man at the same time as the rest of the world. You never had the chance to be angry at him for keeping it from you because he needed you more than anything. You kept an open mind while learning about the multiverse, heroes and villains, magic and superpowers, and honestly... all of that made a lot more sense than having to say goodbye to Peter.
"Please... you have to promise me. You have to find me, okay?"
"I promise," he lied. "I'll tell you everything," he lied again.
Peter threw his head back, letting it hit the subway window hard enough to earn a few strange looks. The guilt was eating him alive.
He lied to you.
The last time you ever spoke, all he did was lie.
And now he was terrified that he'd let the opportunity to meet you again slip away. What if your paths never crossed again?
He stumbled off the train, planning to grab something quick to eat before putting on the suit and heading out to patrol for the night. He walked out of the station and started making his way home.
But before he could even take his keys out, your voice made him freeze in place.
"You really can't come? I could really use a little help right now."
He heard you loud and clear—not thanks to his enhanced hearing, but because you were only a few meters away, standing in the doorway of the building right next to his.
You were surrounded by a few boxes, your phone pressed to your ear, wearing the toughest expression you could manage. It was almost nine pm, and those assholes from the moving company had dumped your things and left without helping you carry the last boxes into your new apartment.
So there you were, trying to look intimidating enough that no one would decide to steal everything you owned.
"Fine. I'll figure it out. I'll call you tomorrow."
Peter understood the situation almost instantly, and before he could overthink it, he spoke.
"Hi."
"Hello."
If anyone had walked past the two of you, they wouldn't have been able to tell which one looked more uncomfortable.
Peter was mentally punching himself. What the hell am I supposed to say now?
Meanwhile, you stood there completely on guard, studying him, trying to decide whether he was a robber, a serial killer... or just a weirdo.
"I... uh... do you need some help?"
You didn't answer.
"My name's Peter Parker. I live here." He pointed toward his building and held up his keys as if they were proof. "Looks like we're going to be neighbors."
He didn't exactly look like a murderer... But he definitely looked a little weird.
"Do I know you?"
"I don't think so."
"Wait... I remember you!"
Peter's heart stopped. "I saw you on the subway the other day. You were wearing a Daily Bugle press badge, right?"
"Oh... yeah." He smiled, half relieved, half disappointed that that was what you remembered. "I work there."
"You really want to help me?"
"Yeah. Whatever you need."
"Okay..." You pointed toward the pile of boxes. "You grab those and take them to apartment 3B. I'll stand guard out here."
You didn't actually end up doing that.
Peter insisted on letting you carry only the lightest box while he picked up the other five at once.
You stared at him. "So... do you go to the gym, or were you in the Marines?"
Peter helped you carry everything to your door. You didn't talk much, but there was a strange familiarity in the silence you shared.
You thanked him and promised to bake him something tomorrow as a thank-you.
Peter walked back to his apartment with his heart threatening to beat right out of his chest.
He'd made a promise he never kept. Maybe he couldn't give you your memories back... but he could give you new ones. And this time, he wasn't walking away.
Oh, the rivers I cried when we said goodbye Wondering if I'd made it up in my mind But now you look me in the eye
One week later, Peter couldn't hold it in any longer.
By now, the two of you had built something that almost resembled a friendship. You kept running into each other on the street, walking to the grocery store together, meeting on the subway before splitting up to go to work.
He'd learned that you worked as a receptionist at a doctor's office—the most boring job you'd ever had, according to you—but the pay was good. At the same time, you were studying for your degree. You were doing well in your classes and genuinely enjoyed them.
You often talked about a friend named Ned, someone you'd known since high school. Every time you mentioned him, Peter felt a bittersweet ache in his chest. It hurt knowing you two barely saw each other anymore, but he was glad you were still trying to stay in touch.
And your little brother was still a menace.
When he came to visit one afternoon, he found Peter standing outside your apartment and immediately accused him of trying to rob you. And he probably would've done the exact same thing if he remember who Peter was.
In his heart, Peter was ready to tell you everything. In reality... he had absolutely no idea how.
So he invited you over to his apartment, using work as an excuse. He told you he had to cover an event for the Daily Bugle and needed help choosing an outfit.
Of course, before you arrived, he made sure to hide anything that might raise questions. The old photos from high school. The box of memories he couldn't bring himself to throw away. Anything related to Spider-Man.
"I didn't picture your apartment looking like this," you said as you slowly looked around.
"What did you picture?"
"Honestly..." you shrugged. "I'm not really sure."
You were lying. His apartment felt... sad.
There was barely any decoration. No framed pictures. No souvenirs. Nothing that hinted at who lived there or what kind of life they'd had. It didn't feel like someone's home.
It felt like a place where someone was simply existing.
"Should we grab something to eat first?"
"Yes, pleaseee," you begged.
Being around each other was so easy. You had only known him for a week, but it felt like a lifetime. And you wanted to know so much more about him.
"Tell me something about yourself," you said, crossing your arms and giving him your full attention.
Peter smiled awkwardly. "What do you want to know?"
"Favorite movie."
"...Star Wars."
You frowned. "No."
"No?"
"You look like someone whose favorite movie is Back to the Future."
Peter blinked. "Well, yeah... it is one of my favorites."
"Ha!"
He laughed. "How did you know that?", he said it with a small ache in his chest.
"I don't know." You shrugged. "Lucky guess." You dismissed it quickly because you had no idea where that came from either. "And your favorite color?" You looked at him for a second. "Blue?"
Peter looked down. Blue and red, he thought.
"Why am I being interrogated?" he asked. "You should answer some things too." He said it knowing there wasn't much about you that he didn't already know.
"Fine! Shoot."
"Have you ever been in love?"
"Damn... I was asking about colors, you know?"
He laughed, a little shy, but he had to ask. You guessing those little things couldn't just be a coincidence.
The spell erased everything about him... But what if some part of you still recognized him?
"Well..." You looked away. "I... I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"I've had dates, but... nothing that really meant something." You played with your fingers. "Sometimes it feels like I have been in love before. Like I know exactly what it feels like, what it does to you... but I can't remember who I loved. I remember loving someone, but I can't put a face to it. It's like I have all these feelings bottled up inside me, and I don't know where they belong."
Silence filled the room.
Peter stayed quiet because he wanted to tell you everything. He wanted to tell you that he was the person you loved. That he was right there.
And you stayed quiet because you had never admitted that to anyone before.
"Okay..." You cleared your throat. "This is getting weird. Let's just pick your outfit."
You tried to bring back the funny and confident mood you both had been enjoying.
Peter agreed and guided you to his closet, where you started looking through his clothes. The pants were an easy choice. The shirt was harder, but eventually you found the perfect one. You grabbed it and showed it to him. "This one."
Peter looked at you, smiling. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this happy.
"You're surprisingly good at this."
"I know."
You looked at him and felt strangely comforted. There was something about his eyes, something that felt like a sweet memory you couldn't quite reach.
"We still need a cute tie," you added.
You searched through the options before stopping.
"Oh, this one. Perfect." You held it up. "Blue looks good on you." The words left your mouth before you even had time to think about them.
Automatically.
"How do you know that?" he asked.
You froze. "I... I just know."
But did you?
Peter watched you carefully.
"Careful with that one, it's important" he said, looking at the tie in your hands.
The one he had worn to your last dance together. The one he wore the night you both said I love you for the first time.
"Important? Why?"
"I..." Peter swallowed. "It's hard to explain."
You handed it to him, but he looked at you shyly. "...I don't really know how to tie one."
You blinked. "Seriously?"
He rubbed the back of his neck with an embarrassed smile. "I usually wear clip-ons. That one was just... a nice memory."
A laugh escaped your lips. "That's... honestly kind of adorable."
"Please don't tell anyone."
"No promises."
You gently took the tie back from his hands. "Come here. I want to see how it looks."
Peter hesitated before stepping closer.
"Hold still."
You draped the tie around his neck.
Your fingers moved almost automatically.
Left over right. Through the loop.
Pull. Fold. Tighten.
Perfect.
Peter frowned. "...You're really good at that."
You looked down at your hands. "I..." A strange feeling settled in your chest. "I don't even know where I learned."
Peter smiled softly. "Maybe your dad taught you?"
"No." You shook your head. "He never wore ties."
Silence filled the room. Your fingers were still resting against his chest as you adjusted the knot one last time.
"Have we done this before?"
And then...
A sharp pain exploded behind your eyes.
You gasped. The room blurred.
Images flashed through your mind faster than you could understand them.
A science classroom.
A rooftop at sunset.
A coffee shop.
Peter laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
May. Ned. The Statue of Liberty.
That night in the ballroom.
The dark blue lights reflecting across the dance floor.
Your hands fixing Peter's tie after learning it from YouTube right before entering because he had no idea how to do it.
The way his arms felt around you. His laugh.
His lips against yours.
His perfume.
His sweet, calming eyes.
His voice whispering that you were the prettiest person he had ever seen.
That you were the love of his life. And then...
"I love you."
The first time he said it.
The first time you felt like your heart was too full to contain everything you felt.
You stumbled backward, clutching your head.
Peter's smile disappeared instantly.
"Hey..." He reached toward you. "What's wrong?"
Your breathing became uneven. Your heart pounded so loudly it drowned everything else out. "No..."
More memories crashed into you.
Holding his hand.
Studying together.
His ridiculous jokes.
The goodbye you never wanted to say.
Then Peter grabbed your hand. And everything came back. Every memory. Every moment.
Every piece of him.
You looked up at him.
Not at the awkward photographer from the Daily Bugle.
Not at the quiet neighbor from apartment 4A.
Peter.
Your Peter.
Your lips parted, but no sound came out. Tears filled your eyes before you even realized you were crying.
Peter didn't move. He looked terrified. Like he already knew what was happening. "...Please," he whispered.
Your hands trembled. You covered your mouth, trying to steady your breathing. "Oh my God..."
Another tear rolled down your cheek. "Peter..."
You said his name through your tears.
And he cried too. Because the way you said it...
That was the way you had always said his name when you loved him.
"You remember..." His voice broke.
You nodded. "I remember everything."
For a second, neither of you moved.
Peter let out a shaky laugh that sounded more like a sob.
"I was supposed to find you."
"You did."
He shook his head. "No." His eyes dropped to the floor. "I promised I'd tell you everything... and then I walked away."
His voice cracked. "I lied to you, you forgot me."
"I did."
"And I hated myself for it every single day."
You stepped closer.
"So did I."
Peter looked up. "What?"
"I didn't know what was missing."
You cupped his face with one hand. "But every day... it felt like there was this empty space inside me." Your voice trembled. "Every time something good happened, I felt this need to run and tell someone... but I didn't even know who." A tear slipped down your cheek. "When I was sad, I felt so alone. Even when I had friends and family supporting me, I knew someone was missing." A small smile broke through your tears. "And now I know why."
Peter finally broke.
He wrapped his arms around you so tightly it almost hurt.
Like if he let go, he would lose you all over again.
You buried your face in his shoulder, holding him just as tightly.
"I knew it..." you whispered.
Peter pulled back slightly.
"When we saw each other in the subway... I knew it. I knew you."
He looked at you like he couldn't believe it. Peter gently cupped your face, pulling you closer. And then he kissed you.
Not because he was afraid of losing you.
Not because he needed proof that you remembered.
But because he needed you to know that this time...
Neither of you would let go.
Man, it's been a while But I knew it, I knew you
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
Meet You There
Pairing: jess mariano x reader
Summary: Jess left Stars Hollow without a word. Years later, you leave too. Before your lives drift in different directions, you make one promise: if you ever find yourselves back in Stars Hollow at the same time, you'll meet each other there. No excuses.
Years pass. People change. You keep missing each other. But maybe some promises are meant to be kept.
Warnings: english is not my first language!
Every moment spent, I wish I was with you And every night I slept, I dreamt I was with you
Stars Hollow is exactly the way you remember it.
When you were younger, you hated that.
You spent years dreaming about bigger cities, bigger adventures, a life that existed somewhere beyond the town limits. Back then, Stars Hollow felt too small, too predictable. You couldn't wait to leave.
Then you did.
And somehow, somewhere between college lectures, cramped apartments, and deadlines, the little town you couldn't wait to escape became the one place that always felt like home.
Now it's your favorite place to come back to.
Your bedroom has barely changed. The posters, the books, the old souvenirs from teenage obsessions are still exactly where you left them. It feels frozen in time, even if, looking around, you can't help but notice that your apartment back in the city carries the same warmth, the same clutter, the same version of you that started here.
You always knew you'd leave Stars Hollow. You'd been planning it since you were thirteen. Then Jess Mariano showed up. Just as suddenly as he left years later.
You still remember the first time you met him.
He was arrogant, sarcastic, and unbelievably irritating. You made it your mission to avoid him. Unfortunately for you, Jess seemed to find endless entertainment in getting under your skin. He teased you whenever he could. You started teasing him back. Somewhere between the eye rolls and sarcastic comments, a friendship formed.
Soon enough, seeing the two of you together became normal.
Jess, with a book —usually one you'd recommended or bought for him—and you buried in textbooks, pretending to study while secretly listening every time he decided to read a passage aloud because he thought you'd like it.
"You should stop by Lorelai's, she will be thrilled to see you"
"I will. I need to pick up a few things for dinner anyway"
She offers you the car. You shake your head.
Walking has always been your favorite way to experience Stars Hollow. The streets haven't changed. Taylor is probably still organizing some unnecessary town meeting. Miss Patty is almost certainly gossiping with Babette somewhere nearby.
Everything feels familiar. Almost too familiar.
Every corner seems to carry a memory.
The bench outside Doose's Market, where Jess sat with you the night before your college entrance exams because you were convinced you were going to fail. You'd been so overwhelmed you couldn't even read your notes anymore. So he'd taken your textbook from your hands and started reading every chapter out loud until you finally believed you could do it.
Then there's the sidewalk outside Luke's, where half the town blamed Jess for every little thing that went wrong.
You were the only one who never did. Maybe that was why people always assumed the two of you would end up together. Luke did. Your mom definitely did. Even Lorelai teased you about it once or twice. And, if you were being honest...
For a while, you thought so too. But somehow, every time it almost happened... The timing was wrong.
The bell above the door of Doose's Market chimes as you step inside.
"Well, look who finally decided to come back" Taylor's voice is exactly as loud as you remember.
You laugh politely. "Hi, Taylor"
He spends the next five minutes filling you in on everything that's changed in town. Which, somehow, isn't much, "...and the Fall Festival committee is still accepting volunteers"
"I'll think about it"
"You won't"
He knows you're lying. You never volunteered for town events. Did you enjoy them? Sure. Watching them was fun. Organizing them? That was never your thing.
"Probably not"
Besides, by the time the festival rolls around, you'll be back to your life in the city—back in your tiny apartment, juggling college classes with your part-time job at the restaurant you somehow grew to love.
You leave with a paper bag tucked under your arm and the familiar sound of Taylor complaining to someone else before the door has even finished closing behind you.
By the time you make your way to Lorelai's house, the sun has started to dip lower in the sky, bathing Stars Hollow in that familiar golden light you never realized you'd miss.
Lorelai is outside, like she just got back home. "There she is!" she exclaims, "Come here!" Before you can say anything, she's already wrapped you in a hug.
"It's so good to see you"
"You too"
She pulls away just enough to look at you. "Look at you! You look all grown up. You are old"
You laugh. "I'm not sure that's a compliment"
"It is. You have that exhausted college student look. Very academic if you ask me"
You spend the next few minutes catching up. She asks about your classes, your apartment, your job, whether you've met anyone.
"So?" she asks with a knowing smile. "Any cute coworkers? Mysterious classmates? Handsome professors?"
You wrinkle your nose. "Definitely not professors"
"Good girl"
Before she can continue her interrogation, Luke walks up the driveway carrying a paper bag.
"Lorelai"
"Luke"
He hands her the bag. "You forgot your pie"
"I knew I was forgetting something"
Luke finally notices you. "Hey, kid"
"Hey, Luke"
"Didn't know you were back"
"Just got in this morning"
He nods.
"Good"
A brief silence settles between the three of you.
Then, almost as an afterthought, Luke says, "Jess stopped by yesterday."
Your heart stumbles before you can stop it.
Lorelai looks between the two of you, completely unaware of the weight those four words carry.
"Oh? Is he still here?"
"No idea"
Of course you missed him again. You smile anyway.
Guess your timing's still terrible.
Back home, you sink into the couch while your mom cooks dinner in the kitchen, humming along to whatever song is playing on the radio.
The TV is on. Some old movie you've seen a dozen times. Your eyes are fixed on the screen, but your mind is somewhere else entirely. Luke's words keep replaying in your head.
Jess stopped by yesterday.
You wonder if he knows you're back.
Stars Hollow has never been good at keeping secrets. If you've already run into Taylor, Miss Patty, Babette, and Lorelai in the span of a couple of hours, chances are your return has become the town's favorite piece of gossip.
Maybe... no. You shake the thought away before it gets too far. It's been years. People move on.
Still, a question lingers in the back of your mind.
If he knew you were here... would he come? And then another one follows, quieter than the first: did he remember? The promise with no excuses.
It had seemed like such a simple promise when you were seventeen. Now, years later, it feels almost impossible.
You suddenly sit up, your mom glances over from the kitchen, a knowing smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
"You're going, aren't you?"
"Going where?"
She raises an eyebrow, "The gazebo"
You let out a quiet laugh, "I don't know"
"You've been staring at the TV for twenty minutes and haven't actually watched a single second of it."
You sigh, rubbing your hands over your face. "I just... I feel like I have to"
Your mom studies you for a moment before turning back to the stove. A beat passes. Then, almost casually, she says, "He's still here."
Your head snaps toward her. "What?"
"I saw Jess a couple of hours ago", silence, "He looked... happy."
Your pulse quickens. "You knew?"
"I had a feeling that's what you were thinking about", she smiles softly. "You've talked about that promise enough over the years for me to remember it"
Another silence settles between you.
"You don't have to go"
"I know"
"But if you don't..."
She doesn't finish the sentence. She doesn't have to.
You grab your jacket from the back of the couch.
"I'll be back before dinner"
Your mom smiles to herself as you head for the door.
"Liar"
No matter where you go, you know I'd wait for you I would break and bend, if you wanted me to
The evening air is cooler now. Without giving yourself the time to change your mind, you make your way toward the gazebo. By the time you reach the town square, you're slightly out of breath.
You didn't mean to run. But somewhere between your front door and the gazebo, walking had stopped feeling fast enough.
Your eyes immediately search for a familiar face. Dark hair. A leather jacket, maybe a book tucked under his arm.
Nothing. The gazebo is empty.
You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding and climb the wooden steps anyway. Sitting on the same bench you used to share with him feels strangely comforting.
You look out at the quiet town. Everything is exactly as you remember it. Without meaning to, your mind drifts back to that day...
"You know," you say, swinging your legs off the edge of the gazebo, "I always knew you'd leave first"
Jess lets out a quiet laugh from beside you.
"Really?"
"Yeah"
"I guess you were right."
Silence settles between you. It's not awkward. It never is..
"So..." you say softly.
"So"
"I'll be leaving in a few months"
Jess nods.
"I know"
"I got into NYU"
"I know"
You roll your eyes. "Luke told you?"
"He talks."
"I figured."
Another silence. "You'll like it," Jess says after a moment.
"What?"
"College. The city."
"You don't even know where I'm going to live"
"Doesn't matter"
"Why?"
"'Cause you'll make it work"
You look at him, surprised by the certainty in his voice. "You really think so?"
"I know so"
You smile. "I think I'm going to miss this place."
"You'll come back"
"Maybe"
Jess looks out at the square before speaking again.
"Promise me something"
"What?"
"If we're ever back in Stars Hollow..."
He pauses.
"...at the same time..."
You wait for him to finish.
"...meet me here"
You can't help but laugh. "That's your big goodbye?"
He shrugs. "No excuses. We'll meet here"
You hold out your pinky.
"Deal"
Jess stares at your hand for a second before hooking his finger with yours. "Deal"
For a moment, neither of you moves. Then he leans in. The kiss is gentle. Careful. Like neither of you knows if there'll ever be another one.
When he pulls away, his forehead rests against yours for a brief second. Neither of you says goodbye.
You blink, the memory dissolving as quickly as it came.
The gazebo is quiet again. Empty. You let out a small, humorless laugh. "God..., this is stupid."
You stand, time to go home.
You turn toward the steps. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming, I've been around here since morning"
Your breath catches. You know that voice.
You'd know it anywhere. Slowly, you lift your eyes.
Jess stands at the bottom of the gazebo, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket, looking at you with the same unreadable expression you remember.
He's older. His hair is a little shorter. His features are sharper. But he's still Jess.
For a long moment, neither of you says anything. Then a small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.
For a moment, neither of you moves. It's almost funny.
You spent years imagining what you'd say if you ever saw him again. Turns out, you have nothing.
Jess breaks the silence first.
"So..."
"So?"
"You still overthink everything?"
You let out a laugh. "You still disappear without warning?"
He winces.
"Fair"
A comfortable silence settles between you two. It's strange. After all these years, talking to Jess still feels easy. Like no time has passed at all.
"So," he says, rocking back on his heels, "are you heading home?"
"Eventually"
He nods toward the street. "I'm starving"
You raise an eyebrow. "That's your way of asking me to get dinner with you?"
"It's working, isn't it?"
You pretend to think about it. "I don't know..."
"I'll even let you choose the place."
"Luke's?"
He groans dramatically. "You really know how to ruin a date."
You grin. "So this is a date?"
He looks at you for a second before smiling. "I was hoping it could be, i think it's time, don't you?"
You don't answer right away. Instead, you step down from the gazebo until you're standing beside him.
"I agree"
You start walking together. Just like you used to.
Neither of you rushes to fill the silence.
For the first time in years, there's nowhere else either of you is supposed to be. Maybe everyone had been right.
It wasn't that the two of you were never meant to happen.
The timing had simply been wrong. Until now.
So you go your way and I'll go mine And if we're meant to, I'll meet you there
I Knew It, I Knew You.
pairing: peter parker x reader
summary: the spell erased peter parker from your memories. but it didn't erase the way your heart recognized him.
warnings: fluff, strangers to friends to lovers again. (english is not my first language)
my masterlist ☆
And you told me I loved you Came back when it mattered, I saw you
He should be laughing, but all he wanted to do was cry.
Peter closed the door to his apartment so hard it almost shook the entire building. He was angry, and he had no one to blame but himself.
He had messed with the multiverse, and now the universe was messing with him by putting you in his path again.
Peter had seen you on the subway an hour ago. You had sat right in front of him, but not once you looked his way. And he couldn't bring himself to look at anyone or anything else.
You were different, and that made sense. You weren't in high school anymore. Your hair was longer, your clothes were more formal, and you carried a bag full of papers—from college or work, he guessed.
He started wondering if you were studying and, if you were, whether you had finally found a major that inspired you. Or maybe you'd found a job you were passionate about.
Were you still in touch with your old friends? Did you still talk to Ned? Did you still hang out together and ever feel like someone was missing?
Had you moved closer to his apartment? Was that why he had seen you for the first time in so long on the subway he took every single day?
He wanted to talk to you, to scream, "Hey, it's me. I'm here. I always have been." But he couldn't, and he knew exactly why.
Even though he missed you and still loved you.
Back in high school, nothing could separate the two of you—not even the crazy life Peter had been hiding from you. He wanted to go back to those days so badly... back to the day you met, to your first kiss, back to the couch in your living room where you used to cuddle until your little brother barged in, screaming that you were kissing and that it was disgusting. He even missed that little demon.
How much had changed since he left? Since all of you forgot about him? Maybe you'd grown into someone so different that he wouldn't even recognize you anymore, and that thought terrified him.
The subway arriving at the last stop pulled Peter out of his thoughts. You gathered your things, and as you did, your eyes met his.
He froze. And you...
You smiled.
You smiled right at him before stepping off the train, and Peter knew that some things never really changed.
But now he was going crazy within the four walls of his apartment.
Should he run after you? Try to explain everything? Would you believe him? Would it be selfish? After all, he would be putting you in danger again, wouldn't he? Would you remember that you loved him?
He had no idea what to do, and he had no one to talk to, no one to call for advice.
He was completely alone, and Peter had finally started coming to terms with that miserable reality.
But seeing you tonight... It brought everything back.
He loved you. In every single universe.
Life has ways of leaving those days behind But seeing you tonight I remembered I loved you.
Three days later, Peter was on the subway again, in the same spot and at the same time as always, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't looking for you.
Ever since he saw you again, he'd been torturing himself, replaying over and over the last time the two of you saw each other—back when you still knew who he was.
You found out he was Spider-Man at the same time as the rest of the world. You never had the chance to be angry at him for keeping it from you because he needed you more than anything. You kept an open mind while learning about the multiverse, heroes and villains, magic and superpowers, and honestly... all of that made a lot more sense than having to say goodbye to Peter.
"Please... you have to promise me. You have to find me, okay?"
"I promise," he lied. "I'll tell you everything," he lied again.
Peter threw his head back, letting it hit the subway window hard enough to earn a few strange looks. The guilt was eating him alive.
He lied to you.
The last time you ever spoke, all he did was lie.
And now he was terrified that he'd let the opportunity to meet you again slip away. What if your paths never crossed again?
He stumbled off the train, planning to grab something quick to eat before putting on the suit and heading out to patrol for the night. He walked out of the station and started making his way home.
But before he could even take his keys out, your voice made him freeze in place.
"You really can't come? I could really use a little help right now."
He heard you loud and clear—not thanks to his enhanced hearing, but because you were only a few meters away, standing in the doorway of the building right next to his.
You were surrounded by a few boxes, your phone pressed to your ear, wearing the toughest expression you could manage. It was almost nine pm, and those assholes from the moving company had dumped your things and left without helping you carry the last boxes into your new apartment.
So there you were, trying to look intimidating enough that no one would decide to steal everything you owned.
"Fine. I'll figure it out. I'll call you tomorrow."
Peter understood the situation almost instantly, and before he could overthink it, he spoke.
"Hi."
"Hello."
If anyone had walked past the two of you, they wouldn't have been able to tell which one looked more uncomfortable.
Peter was mentally punching himself. What the hell am I supposed to say now?
Meanwhile, you stood there completely on guard, studying him, trying to decide whether he was a robber, a serial killer... or just a weirdo.
"I... uh... do you need some help?"
You didn't answer.
"My name's Peter Parker. I live here." He pointed toward his building and held up his keys as if they were proof. "Looks like we're going to be neighbors."
He didn't exactly look like a murderer... But he definitely looked a little weird.
"Do I know you?"
"I don't think so."
"Wait... I remember you!"
Peter's heart stopped. "I saw you on the subway the other day. You were wearing a Daily Bugle press badge, right?"
"Oh... yeah." He smiled, half relieved, half disappointed that that was what you remembered. "I work there."
"You really want to help me?"
"Yeah. Whatever you need."
"Okay..." You pointed toward the pile of boxes. "You grab those and take them to apartment 3B. I'll stand guard out here."
You didn't actually end up doing that.
Peter insisted on letting you carry only the lightest box while he picked up the other five at once.
You stared at him. "So... do you go to the gym, or were you in the Marines?"
Peter helped you carry everything to your door. You didn't talk much, but there was a strange familiarity in the silence you shared.
You thanked him and promised to bake him something tomorrow as a thank-you.
Peter walked back to his apartment with his heart threatening to beat right out of his chest.
He'd made a promise he never kept. Maybe he couldn't give you your memories back... but he could give you new ones. And this time, he wasn't walking away.
Oh, the rivers I cried when we said goodbye Wondering if I'd made it up in my mind But now you look me in the eye
One week later, Peter couldn't hold it in any longer.
By now, the two of you had built something that almost resembled a friendship. You kept running into each other on the street, walking to the grocery store together, meeting on the subway before splitting up to go to work.
He'd learned that you worked as a receptionist at a doctor's office—the most boring job you'd ever had, according to you—but the pay was good. At the same time, you were studying for your degree. You were doing well in your classes and genuinely enjoyed them.
You often talked about a friend named Ned, someone you'd known since high school. Every time you mentioned him, Peter felt a bittersweet ache in his chest. It hurt knowing you two barely saw each other anymore, but he was glad you were still trying to stay in touch.
And your little brother was still a menace.
When he came to visit one afternoon, he found Peter standing outside your apartment and immediately accused him of trying to rob you. And he probably would've done the exact same thing if he remember who Peter was.
In his heart, Peter was ready to tell you everything. In reality... he had absolutely no idea how.
So he invited you over to his apartment, using work as an excuse. He told you he had to cover an event for the Daily Bugle and needed help choosing an outfit.
Of course, before you arrived, he made sure to hide anything that might raise questions. The old photos from high school. The box of memories he couldn't bring himself to throw away. Anything related to Spider-Man.
"I didn't picture your apartment looking like this," you said as you slowly looked around.
"What did you picture?"
"Honestly..." you shrugged. "I'm not really sure."
You were lying. His apartment felt... sad.
There was barely any decoration. No framed pictures. No souvenirs. Nothing that hinted at who lived there or what kind of life they'd had. It didn't feel like someone's home.
It felt like a place where someone was simply existing.
"Should we grab something to eat first?"
"Yes, pleaseee," you begged.
Being around each other was so easy. You had only known him for a week, but it felt like a lifetime. And you wanted to know so much more about him.
"Tell me something about yourself," you said, crossing your arms and giving him your full attention.
Peter smiled awkwardly. "What do you want to know?"
"Favorite movie."
"...Star Wars."
You frowned. "No."
"No?"
"You look like someone whose favorite movie is Back to the Future."
Peter blinked. "Well, yeah... it is one of my favorites."
"Ha!"
He laughed. "How did you know that?", he said it with a small ache in his chest.
"I don't know." You shrugged. "Lucky guess." You dismissed it quickly because you had no idea where that came from either. "And your favorite color?" You looked at him for a second. "Blue?"
Peter looked down. Blue and red, he thought.
"Why am I being interrogated?" he asked. "You should answer some things too." He said it knowing there wasn't much about you that he didn't already know.
"Fine! Shoot."
"Have you ever been in love?"
"Damn... I was asking about colors, you know?"
He laughed, a little shy, but he had to ask. You guessing those little things couldn't just be a coincidence.
The spell erased everything about him... But what if some part of you still recognized him?
"Well..." You looked away. "I... I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"I've had dates, but... nothing that really meant something." You played with your fingers. "Sometimes it feels like I have been in love before. Like I know exactly what it feels like, what it does to you... but I can't remember who I loved. I remember loving someone, but I can't put a face to it. It's like I have all these feelings bottled up inside me, and I don't know where they belong."
Silence filled the room.
Peter stayed quiet because he wanted to tell you everything. He wanted to tell you that he was the person you loved. That he was right there.
And you stayed quiet because you had never admitted that to anyone before.
"Okay..." You cleared your throat. "This is getting weird. Let's just pick your outfit."
You tried to bring back the funny and confident mood you both had been enjoying.
Peter agreed and guided you to his closet, where you started looking through his clothes. The pants were an easy choice. The shirt was harder, but eventually you found the perfect one. You grabbed it and showed it to him. "This one."
Peter looked at you, smiling. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this happy.
"You're surprisingly good at this."
"I know."
You looked at him and felt strangely comforted. There was something about his eyes, something that felt like a sweet memory you couldn't quite reach.
"We still need a cute tie," you added.
You searched through the options before stopping.
"Oh, this one. Perfect." You held it up. "Blue looks good on you." The words left your mouth before you even had time to think about them.
Automatically.
"How do you know that?" he asked.
You froze. "I... I just know."
But did you?
Peter watched you carefully.
"Careful with that one, it's important" he said, looking at the tie in your hands.
The one he had worn to your last dance together. The one he wore the night you both said I love you for the first time.
"Important? Why?"
"I..." Peter swallowed. "It's hard to explain."
You handed it to him, but he looked at you shyly. "...I don't really know how to tie one."
You blinked. "Seriously?"
He rubbed the back of his neck with an embarrassed smile. "I usually wear clip-ons. That one was just... a nice memory."
A laugh escaped your lips. "That's... honestly kind of adorable."
"Please don't tell anyone."
"No promises."
You gently took the tie back from his hands. "Come here. I want to see how it looks."
Peter hesitated before stepping closer.
"Hold still."
You draped the tie around his neck.
Your fingers moved almost automatically.
Left over right. Through the loop.
Pull. Fold. Tighten.
Perfect.
Peter frowned. "...You're really good at that."
You looked down at your hands. "I..." A strange feeling settled in your chest. "I don't even know where I learned."
Peter smiled softly. "Maybe your dad taught you?"
"No." You shook your head. "He never wore ties."
Silence filled the room. Your fingers were still resting against his chest as you adjusted the knot one last time.
"Have we done this before?"
And then...
A sharp pain exploded behind your eyes.
You gasped. The room blurred.
Images flashed through your mind faster than you could understand them.
A science classroom.
A rooftop at sunset.
A coffee shop.
Peter laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
May. Ned. The Statue of Liberty.
That night in the ballroom.
The dark blue lights reflecting across the dance floor.
Your hands fixing Peter's tie after learning it from YouTube right before entering because he had no idea how to do it.
The way his arms felt around you. His laugh.
His lips against yours.
His perfume.
His sweet, calming eyes.
His voice whispering that you were the prettiest person he had ever seen.
That you were the love of his life. And then...
"I love you."
The first time he said it.
The first time you felt like your heart was too full to contain everything you felt.
You stumbled backward, clutching your head.
Peter's smile disappeared instantly.
"Hey..." He reached toward you. "What's wrong?"
Your breathing became uneven. Your heart pounded so loudly it drowned everything else out. "No..."
More memories crashed into you.
Holding his hand.
Studying together.
His ridiculous jokes.
The goodbye you never wanted to say.
Then Peter grabbed your hand. And everything came back. Every memory. Every moment.
Every piece of him.
You looked up at him.
Not at the awkward photographer from the Daily Bugle.
Not at the quiet neighbor from apartment 4A.
Peter.
Your Peter.
Your lips parted, but no sound came out. Tears filled your eyes before you even realized you were crying.
Peter didn't move. He looked terrified. Like he already knew what was happening. "...Please," he whispered.
Your hands trembled. You covered your mouth, trying to steady your breathing. "Oh my God..."
Another tear rolled down your cheek. "Peter..."
You said his name through your tears.
And he cried too. Because the way you said it...
That was the way you had always said his name when you loved him.
"You remember..." His voice broke.
You nodded. "I remember everything."
For a second, neither of you moved.
Peter let out a shaky laugh that sounded more like a sob.
"I was supposed to find you."
"You did."
He shook his head. "No." His eyes dropped to the floor. "I promised I'd tell you everything... and then I walked away."
His voice cracked. "I lied to you, you forgot me."
"I did."
"And I hated myself for it every single day."
You stepped closer.
"So did I."
Peter looked up. "What?"
"I didn't know what was missing."
You cupped his face with one hand. "But every day... it felt like there was this empty space inside me." Your voice trembled. "Every time something good happened, I felt this need to run and tell someone... but I didn't even know who." A tear slipped down your cheek. "When I was sad, I felt so alone. Even when I had friends and family supporting me, I knew someone was missing." A small smile broke through your tears. "And now I know why."
Peter finally broke.
He wrapped his arms around you so tightly it almost hurt.
Like if he let go, he would lose you all over again.
You buried your face in his shoulder, holding him just as tightly.
"I knew it..." you whispered.
Peter pulled back slightly.
"When we saw each other in the subway... I knew it. I knew you."
He looked at you like he couldn't believe it. Peter gently cupped your face, pulling you closer. And then he kissed you.
Not because he was afraid of losing you.
Not because he needed proof that you remembered.
But because he needed you to know that this time...
Neither of you would let go.
Man, it's been a while But I knew it, I knew you
Forever Winter.
pairing: tasm! peter x fem reader.
summary: after pushing away the only people he has left, Peter is forced to face the one thing he's always feared the most: letting someone stay.
warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of character death, grief, emotional confrontation, found family, happy ending.
important: english is not my first language !! this is my first fic and post, hope u like it🫰🏻
He says he doesn't believe anything much he hears these days
He says, "Why fall in love, just so you can watch it go away?"
Peter is struggling. It became so obvious a couple days ago, the baggy eyes, the late arrivals to class, skipping nights out with friends, yeah, that kinda give it out for you. And you are not the only one who sees it.
"You look like shit", it's the first thing that Thomas says when you all sit in the coffee table, Thomas sitting on your right and Peter right in front of you.
"What he's trying to say...", you start talking after kicking Thomas under the table for being so direct, "Is that..., well, we noticed that you have been kinda... weird? I mean, we can tell that you are not feeling well. We are worried, you barely leave your house..." Peter bites his lip to hold a laugh, if you both knew what he does every single day, which is clearly not staying home.
"I thought we were going to get some coffee", says Peter cutting your speech mid way, "But this feels like a planed intervention". His tone makes it clear that he's getting irritated. "Last time I checked, neither of you is my mom, so I don't need to explain myself. Go find another project, okay?" Yeah, something is really wrong. 'Cause he would never treat you both like that.
"Stop that, we are not going anywhere. We are your friends and we care", you say right before Thomas could blurt out something he'll regret later.
Peter close his eyes, he knows that, and that's exactly the problem. When he started college, the ghosts of his uncle, Gwen, Harry... every single person he had let down still haunted him. Every time he walked to class, went to work, took a test, or even grabbed something to eat, he felt guilty. Why was he there? Why did he deserve to be alive when they weren't?
The only reason he kept up with college was May, but the only time he truly found comfort was when he was wearing the suit.
Being Spider-Man was easier than being Peter.
Spider-Man was just some cool guy saving the day, swinging around the city and helping people... Meanwhile, Peter was just a guy who kept losing everyone and everything.
He almost dropped out of college to be Spider-Man full-time, but that's when you showed up.
At first, Peter barely spoke to you. You got paired together for a research paper, and he was completely ready to tell you, "Do it on your own. I'm dropping out.", but you spoke first. And once he heard your voice, for some reason he still refuses to admit, he sat down and wrote that damn paper.
After that, you never left.
He was awkward, barely talked, and constantly disappeared because of "work" (saving the city), but you liked him anyway. He was smart, kind, calm, and surprisingly funny whenever he decided to speak.
Before either of you realized it, you were walking together through the hallways, waiting for him at the bus stop before class, and having lunch together almost every day.
Before Peter even noticed, the ghosts that had haunted him and reminded him of every mistake he'd ever made were gone.
Then, just as he was finally getting comfortable around you and starting to open up, Thomas showed up.
At first, Peter hated him. He was exactly the type of guy who would've bullied him in high school. But after trusting your judgment and getting to know him, Peter found himself with a new best friend. Thomas was a nerd. He and Peter had a lot in common, and Thomas treated him like a brother.
For the first time since high school, before he lost everyone he loved, Peter felt at home. And that's when everything became terrifying.
Especially after he almost lost you, too.
It was a rainy night after class. You and Thomas were leaving the library late, while Peter was supposedly home sick. Or at least, that's what you thought.
Peter was helping the police with a case. He doesn't even remember who the guy was or what he'd done in the first place. He only remembers that the bastard decided to hide inside a fast-food restaurant—the same one where you and Thomas had decided to grab dinner that night.
It turned into a hostage situation, but it ended quickly. Because the moment Peter arrived and saw you there, he completely lost it.
You and Thomas were fine. In fact, everything that happened that night eventually became an inside joke among the three of you. You joked about it and promised never to eat junk food again, while Thomas couldn't stop talking about Spider-Man for an entire week.
But Peter's thoughts were on a completely different level...
He remembered what was really at stake. He remembered how easy it was to lose someone he truly cared about. And he couldn't bear the thought of losing any of you.
Especially you.
So, in his mind, the best thing to do was to walk away.
If you both hated him, if you left him, then there would be no danger. He could never lose you if you weren't part of his life anymore.
"I have to go. I'm sorry." Peter stood up and left the table.
Thomas looked at you in disbelief. "Wait here," you told Thomas, wasting no time.
Peter was already outside the coffee shop when you caught up with him. You grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at you. "What the hell was that?"
"It's not personal. I have things to take care of. Just... leave it," he whispered.
"It is personal, because we're your friends. And it's personal because I care about you. Peter, we want to help you. Let us."
"I don't believe it."
"That we care?"
"That you can help. There's a lot you don't understand."
"Then explain it to me! Please!"
"Why? So I can watch you walk away?"
That made no sense to you. Why would you walk away?Why would you leave him? That's not what you do to someone you love.
"Peter... I..." You couldn't find the right words.
So he just left. Without looking back.
"Maybe he finally got to know us, and now he hates us."
You turn to look at Thomas, who's sitting across the table. You don't have to say anything. He can tell from your expression that you think he's an idiot. But he keeps talking anyway.
"I mean, what else could it be? Yesterday we were best friends, and now he basically told us we're trash.
"Be serious. What if something bad happened?" You check your phone. Peter hasn't opened the group chat, and he hasn't even looked at the messages you sent him privately a couple of hours ago.
It's been eight hours since he left.
"We should go to his house. Make sure he's okay."
Thomas stays quiet and shakes his head. You get it. He's angry. You're mad too. Why the fuck is he ghosting his best friends? But you can't let your anger take over. Not now. Right now, you're more worried than anything else.
"Go if you want, but I'm staying home."
You glance at the time. It's almost 10 p.m. You still have homework to finish for tomorrow. You have to get up early for class. It looks like it could start raining any minute.
"Keep your phone nearby. I'll call you if he needs you."
He seems fine most of the time, forcing smiles and neverminds Live my life scared to death he'll decide to leave instead
You know everything that happened to Peter during high school and after he graduated. When he told you those stories, you both cried. After that, you never talked about them again. He doesn't like talking about any of it, and you understand why. It must hurt so much.
Maybe all those memories came flooding back, forcing him to relive everything. But you can only guess.
Peter never lets anyone know when something's wrong. You'll never know what's really going on inside his head, but you do know when he's forcing a smile or brushing things off with another "never mind."
And today was one of those days.
Everything he said at the coffee shop felt like only half the truth. You can tell he's scared. But of what?
It's almost 11 p.m., and you're standing in front of Peter's house. You don't want to ring the doorbell. May is probably asleep, and Peter wouldn't answer anyway.
So you do something you haven't done since you were fifteen and sneaking out to go to parties.
You climb through the window.
"What the fuck?" The words slip out of Peter's mouth when he sees you clinging to his windowsill for dear life.
And honestly... Yeah. You're terrified.
"Little help?"
He takes his sweet time getting to the window. You can't see why. He silently thanks God for that, because explaining the Spider-Man suit is the last thing he wants to do right now.
"Are you insane?"
"I knew you'd ignore the door. Besides, I remembered you once told me you always keep your window unlocked."
"What are you doing here?"
"We're going to talk. Like it or not."
Oh, he definitely doesn't like it. Not even a little.
"I'm worried. I know something's going on with you. I know you, Peter."
"No. You don't."
He paces around the room as if walking in circles might help him keep everything bottled up. Everything he's been holding inside.
"Yes, I do!"
You're so certain of it. Maybe there are parts of Peter's life you'll never know. Maybe there are things he keeps hidden from everyone. But you know his heart. And that's what matters.
"No! Can't you see? You don't know the things I've done. The things I'm responsible for... I've hurt people. And I always end up hurting the people who get close to me. I don't know how to keep you safe. I don't know how to protect you while I keep doing... this. I always lose the people I love."
He's on the verge of tears. All you want to do is hug him. You'd do anything to see him smile again. But if there's one thing you'll never do... it's walk away.
"Well, that's fucking selfish."
Your answer catches him completely off guard. He's never heard you speak to him like that before.
"You don't have to keep me safe. And you don't have to protect me. You just have to care. I know you've lost people you loved. And I'm so, so sorry. But how is this fair to Thomas and me? Why do we have to lose you? You're still here, Peter. I know it hurts like hell. But you're still here. And you have to keep living. Pushing us away won't protect anyone. It'll only cause more pain. Maybe you're terrified of feeling that kind of loss again. Maybe you think leaving us first will spare you that pain. But it won't spare us. I... I don't want to lose someone I love."
Peter doesn't say a word. He just breaks down.
You finally pull him into your arms. He doesn't have to say anything. You can feel how exhausted he is. You can feel the weight of everything he's been carrying on his own.
But he isn't alone anymore.And he has to learn that.
He'll never stop missing the people he lost. Those memories will always be part of him. But you're right. He has to keep living. He still has a family. And somehow... he found you.
As you hold him close, you can almost feel the weight on his chest beginning to lift. You keep whispering that he'd better never leave you.
Yes. It's terrifying to love again. To have something to lose again. But it's exciting, too. For the first time in a long time... he has someone again. Someone who chose to stay. Someone to love.
"You won't lose me... Please. Believe me when I say this. I'm not going anywhere."
He says he doesn't believe anything much he hears these days I say, "Believe in one thing, I won't go away"
The next morning, Peter wakes up before you.
He looks over and finds you sleeping peacefully in his bed. He doesn't make a sound. He just stays there, watching you.
You didn't leave last night. Nothing could make you leave. Not even your morning classes. You stayed with him. You talked. You hugged. And the two of you realized there was a lot to work through. But love and care came before all of that.
What Peter doesn't know is that he fell asleep before you did. And while he was sleeping, you took the liberty of calling Thomas and helping him climb through the window.
Which is why Peter is more than a little surprised when he notices Thomas asleep on the floor, wrapped in an improvised bed made of a few blankets.
"You look like shit," Peter whispers once Thomas wakes up, careful not to wake you.
Thomas cracks a sleepy smile. Neither of them says anything about yesterday. They don't need to. Peter knows he'll always have a brother in Thomas.
And Thomas... Well, he learned something last night that suddenly made everything make sense.
While he was rummaging through Peter's drawers looking for extra blankets... he found something in the third one.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Thomas whispers back. "But you know what? You're gonna shit yourself when I tell you what I found in your third drawer..."
Peter's heart nearly stops.
"...and let's just say it wasn't exactly the kind of suit you'd wear with a coat and tie."
Fuck.
thank you so much for reading 🥹
hiii, i'm new here..., english is not my first language, i'm in uni studying law, i'm also a spiderman girlie who loves taylor swift, i love to write and i will be posting fics, i hope you like it!!! (my first ones are about peter parker, read if u like)
Forever Winter.
pairing: tasm! peter x fem reader.
summary: after pushing away the only people he has left, Peter is forced to face the one thing he's always feared the most: letting someone stay.
warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of character death, grief, emotional confrontation, found family, happy ending.
my masterlist ☆
important: english is not my first language !! this is my first fic and post, hope u like it🫰🏻
He says he doesn't believe anything much he hears these days
He says, "Why fall in love, just so you can watch it go away?"
Peter is struggling. It became so obvious a couple days ago, the baggy eyes, the late arrivals to class, skipping nights out with friends, yeah, that kinda give it out for you. And you are not the only one who sees it.
"You look like shit", it's the first thing that Thomas says when you all sit in the coffee table, Thomas sitting on your right and Peter right in front of you.
"What he's trying to say...", you start talking after kicking Thomas under the table for being so direct, "Is that..., well, we noticed that you have been kinda... weird? I mean, we can tell that you are not feeling well. We are worried, you barely leave your house..." Peter bites his lip to hold a laugh, if you both knew what he does every single day, which is clearly not staying home.
"I thought we were going to get some coffee", says Peter cutting your speech mid way, "But this feels like a planed intervention". His tone makes it clear that he's getting irritated. "Last time I checked, neither of you is my mom, so I don't need to explain myself. Go find another project, okay?" Yeah, something is really wrong. 'Cause he would never treat you both like that.
"Stop that, we are not going anywhere. We are your friends and we care", you say right before Thomas could blurt out something he'll regret later.
Peter close his eyes, he knows that, and that's exactly the problem. When he started college, the ghosts of his uncle, Gwen, Harry... every single person he had let down still haunted him. Every time he walked to class, went to work, took a test, or even grabbed something to eat, he felt guilty. Why was he there? Why did he deserve to be alive when they weren't?
The only reason he kept up with college was May, but the only time he truly found comfort was when he was wearing the suit.
Being Spider-Man was easier than being Peter.
Spider-Man was just some cool guy saving the day, swinging around the city and helping people... Meanwhile, Peter was just a guy who kept losing everyone and everything.
He almost dropped out of college to be Spider-Man full-time, but that's when you showed up.
At first, Peter barely spoke to you. You got paired together for a research paper, and he was completely ready to tell you, "Do it on your own. I'm dropping out.", but you spoke first. And once he heard your voice, for some reason he still refuses to admit, he sat down and wrote that damn paper.
After that, you never left.
He was awkward, barely talked, and constantly disappeared because of "work" (saving the city), but you liked him anyway. He was smart, kind, calm, and surprisingly funny whenever he decided to speak.
Before either of you realized it, you were walking together through the hallways, waiting for him at the bus stop before class, and having lunch together almost every day.
Before Peter even noticed, the ghosts that had haunted him and reminded him of every mistake he'd ever made were gone.
Then, just as he was finally getting comfortable around you and starting to open up, Thomas showed up.
At first, Peter hated him. He was exactly the type of guy who would've bullied him in high school. But after trusting your judgment and getting to know him, Peter found himself with a new best friend. Thomas was a nerd. He and Peter had a lot in common, and Thomas treated him like a brother.
For the first time since high school, before he lost everyone he loved, Peter felt at home. And that's when everything became terrifying.
Especially after he almost lost you, too.
It was a rainy night after class. You and Thomas were leaving the library late, while Peter was supposedly home sick. Or at least, that's what you thought.
Peter was helping the police with a case. He doesn't even remember who the guy was or what he'd done in the first place. He only remembers that the bastard decided to hide inside a fast-food restaurant—the same one where you and Thomas had decided to grab dinner that night.
It turned into a hostage situation, but it ended quickly. Because the moment Peter arrived and saw you there, he completely lost it.
You and Thomas were fine. In fact, everything that happened that night eventually became an inside joke among the three of you. You joked about it and promised never to eat junk food again, while Thomas couldn't stop talking about Spider-Man for an entire week.
But Peter's thoughts were on a completely different level...
He remembered what was really at stake. He remembered how easy it was to lose someone he truly cared about. And he couldn't bear the thought of losing any of you.
Especially you.
So, in his mind, the best thing to do was to walk away.
If you both hated him, if you left him, then there would be no danger. He could never lose you if you weren't part of his life anymore.
"I have to go. I'm sorry." Peter stood up and left the table.
Thomas looked at you in disbelief. "Wait here," you told Thomas, wasting no time.
Peter was already outside the coffee shop when you caught up with him. You grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at you. "What the hell was that?"
"It's not personal. I have things to take care of. Just... leave it," he whispered.
"It is personal, because we're your friends. And it's personal because I care about you. Peter, we want to help you. Let us."
"I don't believe it."
"That we care?"
"That you can help. There's a lot you don't understand."
"Then explain it to me! Please!"
"Why? So I can watch you walk away?"
That made no sense to you. Why would you walk away?Why would you leave him? That's not what you do to someone you love.
"Peter... I..." You couldn't find the right words.
So he just left. Without looking back.
"Maybe he finally got to know us, and now he hates us."
You turn to look at Thomas, who's sitting across the table. You don't have to say anything. He can tell from your expression that you think he's an idiot. But he keeps talking anyway.
"I mean, what else could it be? Yesterday we were best friends, and now he basically told us we're trash.
"Be serious. What if something bad happened?" You check your phone. Peter hasn't opened the group chat, and he hasn't even looked at the messages you sent him privately a couple of hours ago.
It's been eight hours since he left.
"We should go to his house. Make sure he's okay."
Thomas stays quiet and shakes his head. You get it. He's angry. You're mad too. Why the fuck is he ghosting his best friends? But you can't let your anger take over. Not now. Right now, you're more worried than anything else.
"Go if you want, but I'm staying home."
You glance at the time. It's almost 10 p.m. You still have homework to finish for tomorrow. You have to get up early for class. It looks like it could start raining any minute.
"Keep your phone nearby. I'll call you if he needs you."
He seems fine most of the time, forcing smiles and neverminds Live my life scared to death he'll decide to leave instead
You know everything that happened to Peter during high school and after he graduated. When he told you those stories, you both cried. After that, you never talked about them again. He doesn't like talking about any of it, and you understand why. It must hurt so much.
Maybe all those memories came flooding back, forcing him to relive everything. But you can only guess.
Peter never lets anyone know when something's wrong. You'll never know what's really going on inside his head, but you do know when he's forcing a smile or brushing things off with another "never mind."
And today was one of those days.
Everything he said at the coffee shop felt like only half the truth. You can tell he's scared. But of what?
It's almost 11 p.m., and you're standing in front of Peter's house. You don't want to ring the doorbell. May is probably asleep, and Peter wouldn't answer anyway.
So you do something you haven't done since you were fifteen and sneaking out to go to parties.
You climb through the window.
"What the fuck?" The words slip out of Peter's mouth when he sees you clinging to his windowsill for dear life.
And honestly... Yeah. You're terrified.
"Little help?"
He takes his sweet time getting to the window. You can't see why. He silently thanks God for that, because explaining the Spider-Man suit is the last thing he wants to do right now.
"Are you insane?"
"I knew you'd ignore the door. Besides, I remembered you once told me you always keep your window unlocked."
"What are you doing here?"
"We're going to talk. Like it or not."
Oh, he definitely doesn't like it. Not even a little.
"I'm worried. I know something's going on with you. I know you, Peter."
"No. You don't."
He paces around the room as if walking in circles might help him keep everything bottled up. Everything he's been holding inside.
"Yes, I do!"
You're so certain of it. Maybe there are parts of Peter's life you'll never know. Maybe there are things he keeps hidden from everyone. But you know his heart. And that's what matters.
"No! Can't you see? You don't know the things I've done. The things I'm responsible for... I've hurt people. And I always end up hurting the people who get close to me. I don't know how to keep you safe. I don't know how to protect you while I keep doing... this. I always lose the people I love."
He's on the verge of tears. All you want to do is hug him. You'd do anything to see him smile again. But if there's one thing you'll never do... it's walk away.
"Well, that's fucking selfish."
Your answer catches him completely off guard. He's never heard you speak to him like that before.
"You don't have to keep me safe. And you don't have to protect me. You just have to care. I know you've lost people you loved. And I'm so, so sorry. But how is this fair to Thomas and me? Why do we have to lose you? You're still here, Peter. I know it hurts like hell. But you're still here. And you have to keep living. Pushing us away won't protect anyone. It'll only cause more pain. Maybe you're terrified of feeling that kind of loss again. Maybe you think leaving us first will spare you that pain. But it won't spare us. I... I don't want to lose someone I love."
Peter doesn't say a word. He just breaks down.
You finally pull him into your arms. He doesn't have to say anything. You can feel how exhausted he is. You can feel the weight of everything he's been carrying on his own.
But he isn't alone anymore.And he has to learn that.
He'll never stop missing the people he lost. Those memories will always be part of him. But you're right. He has to keep living. He still has a family. And somehow... he found you.
As you hold him close, you can almost feel the weight on his chest beginning to lift. You keep whispering that he'd better never leave you.
Yes. It's terrifying to love again. To have something to lose again. But it's exciting, too. For the first time in a long time... he has someone again. Someone who chose to stay. Someone to love.
"You won't lose me... Please. Believe me when I say this. I'm not going anywhere."
He says he doesn't believe anything much he hears these days I say, "Believe in one thing, I won't go away"
The next morning, Peter wakes up before you.
He looks over and finds you sleeping peacefully in his bed. He doesn't make a sound. He just stays there, watching you.
You didn't leave last night. Nothing could make you leave. Not even your morning classes. You stayed with him. You talked. You hugged. And the two of you realized there was a lot to work through. But love and care came before all of that.
What Peter doesn't know is that he fell asleep before you did. And while he was sleeping, you took the liberty of calling Thomas and helping him climb through the window.
Which is why Peter is more than a little surprised when he notices Thomas asleep on the floor, wrapped in an improvised bed made of a few blankets.
"You look like shit," Peter whispers once Thomas wakes up, careful not to wake you.
Thomas cracks a sleepy smile. Neither of them says anything about yesterday. They don't need to. Peter knows he'll always have a brother in Thomas.
And Thomas... Well, he learned something last night that suddenly made everything make sense.
While he was rummaging through Peter's drawers looking for extra blankets... he found something in the third one.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Thomas whispers back. "But you know what? You're gonna shit yourself when I tell you what I found in your third drawer..."
Peter's heart nearly stops.
"...and let's just say it wasn't exactly the kind of suit you'd wear with a coat and tie."
Fuck.