guide to a eurphoric life

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[theblackcourtesan]

When you’re choosing lingerie for sex work and listening to gospel music at the same time 😅.

[theblackcourtesan]

I think it’s pretty much safe to say that I’m currently obsessed with sex work and my profession. It’s pretty much all I ever think about. 

I wake up thinking about it. I go to bed thinking about it. 

But I’m not obsessed with the actual “work” part…it’s not as if I go to bed or wake up fantasizing about my customers’ penises lol…

But I am obsessed with the growth. With expansion. With improvement.

How do I make my business better? What can I do to stand out more? How do I make myself better so that I can command more money? What strategies can I implement so I can attract more affluent customers? Tactics I can use to acquire regulars? 

And the list goes on and on. 

It’s gotten to the point where my head was spinning so much I had to buy more notebooks. Like I didn’t already have enough.

And as if I wasn’t enough of a recluse, this is only making me more so. And I don’t even care. I’m trying to limit how much I currently talk to people about irrelevant topics. It’s time to be laser focused. All I want to do is concentrate on succeeding in this endeavor. 

To quote DJ Khaled: “If you ain’t talkin’ money, we ain’t talkin”. 

I don’t care about the gossip. And I most definitely don’t care about the drama. 

Let’s not talk if you’re not talking about steps you’re taking to improve your life.  Unless it’s a valid complaint, don’t bring it to me. Let’s talk solutions for our problems and obstacles. Save the “woe is me” for someone else.

Let’s talk about this money. Let’s talk about investments.  Let’s talk about marketing strategies. Let’s talk about what book you’re reading that’s going to help attract more clients. Let’s talk about beauty tips so we can get “top dollar” and move a step up on the “high-end” ladder.

Let’s talk about what we’re currently doing in the here and now so we can live a glamorous tomorrow. 

Let’s talk about THAT.

The rest is noise. The rest is bullshit.

[ohyesvs]

[theblackcourtesan]

Here’s A Little Secret...

I got my first SDs from interracial dating sites. Not fucking SA.

My BEST sponsors came from “professional” sex work (i.e. escorting, dominatrix,etc) and freestyling.

They were also the most respectful with the least amount of drama and when they did act needy they knew they had to PAY for it.

[theblackcourtesan]

How do you get men to wanting to care for you and help you? It doesn't matter what kind of men I meet, bf/pot/sub they don't want to give me money, they don't want to give me any gifts and they don't want to help with anything. And I don't get it? It's like I am so strong that I should manage by myself. But I never do the whole independent woman thing, on the contrary I really try to be feminine, I ask for help, I show appreciation when they do things for me etc. What am I doing wrong?

You are either picking up men in the wrong place or your “look/appearance” is not giving off a “kept woman” vibe. You get men wanting to take care of you by looking and acting as if you’re already being taken care of.  

You have to look like it, act like it.You have to eat, sleep and breathe it. You have to EMBODY it.

Giving you a “script” or phrases to say doesn’t always work because certain words don’t have the same effect on every man. 

For instance some guys love damsels in distress. (aka “captain save-a-hoe” types). If you approach them with a tragic, sad story they’ll leap at the opportunity to help you. 

But every guy isn’t like that. 

Some guys love the bossy, princess type. They love a girl that’s a bit demanding, bitchy and takes no shit. 

Both of these guys will “keep” you. But they will do it for different reasons. And if you try to use a “bossy princess tactic” on a “captain save-a-hoe” type it’s not going to work. He’s going to get turned off and will probably cut off contact with you. Or he’ll pretend as if he’ll assist you and then never come through. 

Words are not the most effective way to IMPLANT the idea into a man’s head that you want to be kept. 

Most people don’t really hear you when you speak. Everyone has “selective hearing”. They hear what they want to hear. 

So what do you do?

You show them better than you can tell them. 

It’s 80% of how you present yourself and 20% of what you say. 

Haven’t you ever made up your mind about someone or made a judgement about a person before they even opened their mouth to speak?

Your words merely back up your actions. 

You have to dress like a kept woman. This doesn’t mean you have to be draped in Chanel but you do need to be put together. Looking put together is SO fucking important. Look at how the “rich women” in your area are dressing and presenting themselves. Are you doing the same? Everyone has their own unique style but the common theme is that they are put together from head to toe. Be honest. Are you doing this? ALL of this? Hair. Eyebrows. Skin. Teeth. Makeup. Posture. Perfume. Properly fitting outfit. Manicured nails. Quality handbag and shoes (it doesn’t have to be designer).

When you look like a million bucks you attract a million bucks. There are quite a few videos on YouTube about how to look expensive on a budget. Watch them and take notes. 

You have to act like a kept woman. How would you act if you were already being sponsored? What would your hobbies be? Where would you go? What would you do?

Begin incorporating it into your lifestyle. And don’t think it has to be expensive either. It costs absolutely nothing to walk around Saks Fifth Avenue. 

Now where are you finding your men?

I know you’re on a lot of online sites. I urge you to diversify and begin freestyling and to also change the pictures that you’re using. If they’re head-shots or body-shots of you in some random location or in front of a plain background/wall they’ve got to go. 

A picture is worth a thousand words and you need to set your narrative: 

A picture of you in an upscale hotel lobby.

A picture of you in front of a high end department store (with the name of the store in the picture with a shopping bag in your hand)

A picture of you in an expensive restaurant at the bar with a pretty drink.

A picture of you holding a bouquet of flowers, box of chocolates, etc. 

And when a man sees that type of profile with those kinds of pictures, he’s not going to think “wow she’s an independent woman getting it on her own”. He’s going to think “there’s some man paying for all of that and if I want to get with her, I’m going to have to do the same.” 

And THEN when you start to ask for things, he wont be surprised. But you have to set this precedent from the very beginning.  

He doesn’t want to give you what you want? Thankyou, NEXT. 

I personally like to start off like this:

2 Dates at a NICE restaurant (do not accept drink dates).

Then I start asking for gifts. Maybe a dress for our next date. Or 2 dozen roses. Or chocolate truffles. Nothing too crazy as long as it sends the message that I am a luxury, I like luxury things and you will spend your money when you’re around me. 

It doesn’t matter if he’s a captain save a hoe type, bossy princess type or something else. NO MAN should have a problem with buying gifts for his lady.

He has a problem with it? THANKYOU NEXT.

After a few gifts, I ask for a small bill to be paid. Then I keep working my way up.  

And do not be afraid to “act dumb”:

“What do you mean you didn’t give your past girlfriends gifts??? Didn’t you want to do something sweet for her?” *look confused* What do you mean you never took your former Mistress/Domme shopping?? I thought you liked showing your appreciation? *look confused?*What do you mean that’s all you gave your previous sugar baby?? Didn’t you want to help her out more? *LOOK FUCKING CONFUSED*

You do not have to act bitchy or demanding (unless he’s in to that)You do not have to beg or plead.You do not have to act overly sweet. 

You simply say this as “matter of factly” as you can with a straight face. 

He’s going to feel like an ass and is either going to cave within 24 hours or disappear out of your life.

You have to set the standard from the beginning.  

And you can not waver from it. You have to be ruthless and willing to cut him off with the quickness if he will not meet your demands.

You don’t have to be mean. Just stop giving him attention.

A kept woman does not “ask”, she expects.

She expects you to take her on shopping trips.She expects you to take her dining at upscale restaurants.She expects you to take her on luxury vacations.She expects you to take care of her financially.

That is simply the “cost” of dating her.

When I look at both my successes and failures I noticed that every time I failed it was because I acted like a woman that WANTED to be a kept woman. Every time I succeeded it was because I acted like woman that IS a kept woman. 

There is a difference.

[ambrosiagfe]

Every man with a wallet is game.

The men from dating apps who only earn 30k-80k can be made to pay a few £200 £300 bills.

The men you meet at an upscale bar or the golf course that earn up to 150k can be made to buy designer shoes and bags that cost £2k.

The men you meet in grocery stores and coffee shops can be made to buy your shopping and an extra coffee.

The men you meet at train stations can be made to buy you free lunch or dinner disguised as dates.

The men you meet at the petrol station can be made to pay for your full tank just as well as you can get a free gym membership or free personal training lessons from PT’s.

The men who come round to fix your TV or washing machine can be made to give you discounts or free services.

The men working at hotel receptions can be made to upgrade your room free of charge with extra free services thrown in.

The men that work in IT or as engineers with their beginner salaries can be made to pay for little beauty treatments here and there.

IF HE MAKES A LIVING HE CAN PAY FOR SOMETHING!

You just have to to ask questions, know how much they earn, test their generosity, use your femininity and your seduction skills, big up their egos and try your luck.

I hardly pay for anything now, even a simple smile and small flirtation gets me a free meal or train ticket. These men are eager to give you free things, they want to flaunt their money on you. That’s how you should see all men.

[theblackcourtesan]

instead of following society’s rules, a courtesan followed her own path.

she understood the psychology of men, what they yearned for, what made them tick and how to manipulate them for her own purposes.

historically, a courtesan was known to successfully utilize the men in her life for the attainment of her own social, economic or career goals. by living according to this strategy, many a famous courtesan rose from a life of common prostitution to a position of unimaginable wealth, luxury and power.

- from “how to date like a courtesan” by celeste mgboli

[theblackcourtesan]

one thing's for sure

just in case i don't get around to my update, i do want to say this:

if you haven't already, you should get offline.

i'm not talking about my fsswers, or if you're a 0F girl or what you do involves customers or clients...

i'm talking about those that want to be sbs, or gfs to rich men or trophy wives...

you'll have a better chance going out and getting one - in PUBLIC. if i were just starting out, i wouldn't even bother setting up A profile - let alone the amount of profiles we would create back in the day lol. i would maybe have an instagram - and that's it. i would watch some videos (sheras are still good), read some books, maybe join a membership group or 2 (but you have to be careful with them because most of those women couldn't make it so now they're trying to sell you theory and pipe dreams), but once i've done my research, knew what i wanted to achieve in this lifestyle, i would then start "living" in the rich area of my city or begin taking lots of trips to rich cities or events that brought in a lot of high net worth men.

i wouldn't bother with fucking seeking. or anything else like it. the men that's willing to spend and spoil, pretty much left online for good once the covid bans were lifted.

[lais-noire-deactivated20260601]

your environment is a merciless mirror of your thoughts.

change your thoughts & your environment will change. there is no such thing as a slow period…unless you believe there is. your ethnicity does not limit you, unless you think it does. I am often told to consider the “reality” of being a black escort…that my white counterparts will always make more than me because they are white…I am told this is the “reality”. 

To that belief I say: it is “reality” and “truth” ONLY to the person focuses so much on it that it has manifested again and again for them. I don’t focus on those things ever. It doesn’t serve me. It’s a counterproductive belief to me. 

I choose to believe that I will get whatever I want, the “how” doesn’t concern me. I don’t permit myself to be submerged in a suffocating sea of misdirection; I am choosy about who I listen to. I mute so many girls on Twitter. I unfollow so many blogs of people complaining & making excuses. 

My mentors in this industry are women who have earned $100k a month. That is who I gather “truth” and “reality” from. In being in such close communication with these women I have learned that they are not special in ANY way except in the way they think. 

$10K in a night, easy. Securing a sponsor & credit card, done. Earning $60k from weekend dates & mutiple overnights, piece of cake. Leaving this industry a millionaire, more than possible. 

I have mentors because I will learn from their mistakes and fasttrack my success. It will take me half the time to achieve what they have achieved, and that will make them proud. In fact, I intend to surpass their success. 

I expect more good out of life than bad. I expect to succeed more than I expect to fail. 

[theblackcourtesan]

i love paris. and i have a deep affection for a lot of things french.

but the football commentator saying,

“and the spanish have ruined bastille day for the french.”

was so unnecessarily savage that i couldn’t help but laugh. 😅😅

[lais-noire-deactivated20260601]

having this blog over the last few years has been such a blessing. finding a community of women who share their experiences in such a stigmatized field was a godsend. sharing triumphs and lessons--empowering one another and connecting from different parts of the world is so beautiful. I like to write about my successes and I enjoy writing about lessons I have learned.

being an escort wasn't on my childhood bingo card, not entirely (although during church I did love the lessons on Mary Magdalene and Rahab). I came into this profession out of sheer survival. I was a sugar baby at 18, had religious guilt & didn't get back into sex work until I was in my early 20s. this work has transformed my life because it has allowed me to reconcile deep pain and trauma from my upbringing and truly ask myself: am I worthy no matter what I do? am I worthy when others say I am not? am I worthy when a man doesn't see it? am I worthy when others tear me down or gossip? is worthiness a garment that I wear? is it something that can be stolen? I have answered these questions over the years tearfully, joyfully and hopefully. I now ask you to consider them for yourself.

I earn lots of money, that was my goal. if that is your goal, you can do it too. you don't need to compete with anyone; you don't need to slander anyone or tarnish someone else's reputation to do it; you don't need to use mental energy and act on people in your environment to do it. you need only act within yourself. this is a very simplistic explanation but I mention in other posts the books I have read, teachers who helped me & therapy modalities that have contributed to what I consider exponential growth.

if you receive anything from my time here my hope is that you receive power. the deep knowing that you can change any facet of your life; you can become rich; you can be successful; you can be at peace with yourself and others; you can exist in your own skin--not as a rebellion--but you can be accepted for who you truly are. you can attract friends who add to loveliness of your life. you can have peace of mind. you can have all the financial resources you desire. you don't need to choose between peace and wealth. all goodness is yours. every morsel of goodness belongs to you, full stop.

I realize now, my passion is empowering other women. my passion is giving resources & I have to admit fear sometimes prevents me from fully living out that passion. but I am taking this time to tell you, reader, that I am committed to sharing as much as I can about my journey. not only for the occasional dopamine hit from your appreciation post, but also because what I have now, I wish for everyone else. and what I wish for you, I am wishing for myself.

love you all <3

(also if you made it this far: google Marie Diamond, iykyk.)

[gagosianwife]

It doesn’t matter if people think manifestation is stupid. If you ignore external noise and only focus on what you want, really believe you can have it, you will get it. It doesn’t matter what you look like but it makes people feel better when there’s a status quo they can follow and measure themselves against. Truthfully, real life is stranger than fiction and high achievers are not what you expect. Totally unremarkable. I can’t stress enough to take everything off the pedestal

[limperatricedesvices]

Men hate that you only want them as a toy that brings you more money.

No, I don’t want to date you nor have a « serious (abuse) » relationship with you. Nor you gaslighting me to pretend you want this, and I don’t even want it.

You’re just my toy and I’m the scenarist €.

[noircourtesan]

Silently working.

When I first started in this industry I thought I had to tell everyone in my close circle about it and get their approval. I honestly have no idea why I thought this way. Maybe because this lifestyle is isolating? Maybe because I thought they would understand? Maybe I wanted to quiet my inner critic who kept telling me I was going against my morals? No idea. But I have completely stopped this and it has been so key in maintaining my inner peace.

As long as I know who I am, and where I'm trying to go & I remain a good person along the way, that's really all that matters. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

Work in silence, and make your strides in the dark without any need for the external praise. When they look up in a couple years or whatever it may be they will wonder in awe how you did it.

[lais-noire-deactivated20260601]

I didn’t realize how lax I had become after making a lot of money. Escorting has been a way for me to earn my first couple million dollars. Granted high cost of living and paying my own bills (gag) I didn’t save a ton of it. But I digress, I realized that I permitted certain behavior from men and allowed ideas that I had to “do it all” into my consciousness.

My pivot is to continue receiving avalanches of abundance AND to be treated like a queen in every respect. Waited on hand and foot. I’m not speaking from heartbreak or anything haha

I’m speaking from a place of realizing the gap between hustling and becoming a honeypot. What’s a honeypot? Simply sweet. Simply receives the bees, flies, etc. it’s doesn’t “work” for it. It’s simply content to be sweet.

If I wake up to $xxx millions at any moment I will still not permit anything less than royal treatment from a man in my presence. People are leeches to those who give them free energy to extract. I refuse to do this for anyone.

These last six months have been an incredible shift for me mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

People, places, dollars, things and circumstances serve me. That is all ❤️

[lais-noire-deactivated20260601]

here is some “game”  to maximize returns for fssw who advertise online

*disclaimer: this is what has worked for me. I view sw as a real business with no ceiling. What you put into it is what you get out of it. I do not ascribe to the belief that color, weight, nationality etc. impact income. If that’s your belief, this post isn’t for you*

1. Invest in premium advertising. If you are online, you should be EVERYWHERE clients are. Don’t ask (is it worth it?) if you have never tried it. Find out for yourself. You are a unique brand. Get on Tw*tter, Tr*st, Sl*xa, Er*s, etc. Determine which sites are best for your city and use them all. If you don’t want to invest in premium adspace, you are not maximizing. There are hundreds of girls to choose from, why on earth would you not want to be the first who will show up? 

2. Keep your online presence clean. Keep the fantasy alive. There is no reason to argue with colleagues. If you don’t like someone mute or block them and keep it moving. You are here for CLIENTS. Unless you have duo partners, or a working relationship with someone what’s the point? Your goal is to make money & if you happen to make a friend along the way, fabulous. 

3. Professional photos & websites are a must as soon as you can afford them. It’s an investment. A mix of candid photos and professional are great for social media. It makes you seem real and relatable.

4. Create an aura around yourself of a woman who is alluring, sexy & booked. Do not ever complain about it being “slow” on socials. You should always, always make sure clients believe you are busy. They only want to see who other men are seeing. Imagine if a hair salon is complaining they have no clients, maybe you would see them out of pity but it wouldn’t be your first thought to do so.

5. Make it easy to book you. Men should have no hesitation when they book you. Have a clean, user-friendly website. No crazy fonts or music that auto-plays. Have 10-12 great photos where you look incredibly sexy. 

6. Streamline communications. I would recommend an auto-reply texting service on your burner phone and use your notes app to copy/paste canned responses. I prefer texting anyway, emails are overwhelming. I use both & they work well. 

7. Reviews. *sigh* This is a hotly contested topic, I can say when my rates were much lower I had clients who offered to write me reviews. They were helpful to my business and I was able to review the majority of my reviews before they posted (the client sent me a screenshot). GOOD reviews are great for business, they give men security and confidence that you’re real. Let’s face it, women are far more advanced. Not all of your clients will be the type to check out your reviews but it gives you the opportunity to build a great reputation. I would recommend doing this before nay rate increases as the hobbyist types have a range up to +$800 per hour. Maximize this while you can if your goal is to brand as “high end”. You can still use high end branding tactics with a lower rate, its actually an amazing strategy. Expensive to begin with but well worth it. 

8. Volume. You can be busy at any rate. I was busy at $500, $600, $700, $800, $1000+ per hour. Release that limiting belief. It’s silly. You can see as many men as you want to see. If this statement doesn’t sit well with you, or you feel an objection, change your belief about yourself. Simple.

9. Get into therapy. Enough said. Client facing social media is not a diary. 

10. Play up your best features. Wear clothes that hide your flaws and accentuate the best assets you have. 

11. Hygiene. Wear makeup to every fucking booking. Style your hair. Use boric acid suppositories at least once a month (esp after period). Condoms & lubricant affect the PH balance of your vagina so you’ll need the extra care if you’re really busy. Invest in quality body wash, I love Molton Brown. Get lightly scented hair perfumes so you smell nice but not overwhelming. BODY LOTION. BODY OIL. Clients always comment on how smooth & soft my skin is. I exfoliate my entire body regularly. African net cloths are gold. 

12. High quality lingerie is necessary. Mix and match with lower end pieces until you can grow your collection. Clients are always willing to buy lingerie so utilize them to build your business. Heels. Heels. Heels. Some clients like stockings and have fetishes (and will pay a LOT of money for it). Invest in your wardrobe.

13. Set income goals in a spreadsheet on a week by week basis. This helps your subconscious mind to get as close to that goal as possible. Keep notes on all of your clients. This helps with retention as they believe they are special to you. Retention is KEY. New clients are great and you advertise to keep your funnel full, retaining clients is amazing. You will rarely have to replace a client unless your rates increase dramatically.

14. 50-60% of what you earn should go back into your business until you reach a surplus or income goal (my first savings goal was 100K and I reached that in four months). This fast-tracks your success. You don’t have to grow slowly, you can grow exponentially. If this feels like a lot of work, IT IS. This is a business. 

15. Stay positive. Read books that inspire you. Watch YouTube videos about business. Write down your goals and know the minute you write them down, they are yours. If someone has what you want, celebrate them sincerely (you can do this privately of course, no need to DM). This increases your frequency. Jealousy, envy & hate are the lowest frequencies. If you gossip about others, talk crap on the regular, engage in hateful rhetoric you will never succeed. Its the law of the universe. You will always hit a ceiling, a snag or have some-problem in your life. Why? Because what you wish for others you create for yourself in your life and experience. 

Anyway, I’m done. Hope this helps someone xx

[noircourtesan]

It’s a MUST to maintain your standards and boundaries at all cost. Be willing and able to walk away. If you let them get away with something even once, they think you will tolerate it in the future.