Hi. It’s been a while and I deeply apologize
Okay so mini comic to demonstrate what just happen to me when I checked tumblr after… I don’t know how long it’s been-
I’m not going to get into much of what happened while I was gone. My mental health was slipping ever so slowly, on top of that I got sick towards the end so that kicked my ass- That’s the gist of it.
Typically when I go on little breaks I neglect to make a post about me taking a break or anything. This is because I feel like feel like I’d just be letting someone down for lack of better words. Even at the point of writing this my hands are shaking and I can’t think straight. The main reason I even took the break to begin with was to calm down, I had a lot on my mind at the moment and tumblr just added to that 10 fold.
For the record most of it wasn’t with anything anyone did. It’s all just my brain and the fact that since I wasn’t used to tumblr still I felt out of place. Even though I knew this wasn’t true and you all are amazing people I just didn’t want to continue while knowing I couldn’t preform at my best. I felt like if I couldn’t give you all the best than nothing was going to be good enough. (Couldn’t imagine being a perfectionist/sarc)
Anyways, I’m also terribly sorry I had absolutely zero idea that so many people would worry about where I went or if I was okay. The guilt of also not answering those makes me feel worse. It was a bitter sweet feeling to see the worried messages it felt nice to know people worry and care, but it was anxiety inducing to know that you all are worrying about where I am while I’m just drawing in my room to relieve stress.
I LOVE this community and the people here, I’ve always loved talking to people and making new friends. However social anxiety is a bitch and I sadly still get in my own head about it. I’m too hard on myself and I feel like that’s what happens with a lot of people and not just me. So a little message to people who can relate
ENJOY YOURSELF!!!
Doing stuff like this is supposed to be FUN for you and hopefully everyone else that interacts with you and whatever you create. Doing this is my fun and what I really need to work on is reminding myself that it’s just that. Fun. Not a 100 page essay that needs to be perfected and reviewed twenty times over. I’m not saying that I’ll stop trying, just that I won’t be so hard on myself for my mistakes and trust that you all will be okay with that and the fact I will make many mistakes. If there’s mistakes in this writing that I probably didn’t see I won’t be surprised.
Anywizzle, that was that. This is also NOT me officially saying I will be very active. I’m about to go on an 4 day trip so interactions will still be sparse, I’ll make an official post when I return. Also no one has to feel bad for sending messages asking if I was okay, I overall thank you guys for that so so much. I am still very sorry though for not interacting for a while, also PLEASE CATCH ME UP- I assume stuff went down since I went completely MIA from tumblr so if you want you can just briefly tell me what I need to catch up on. With that, thanks for reading and happy scrolling!
….Also happy pride!!
