Blethar

blither blather blethar

[blethar]

When someone asks me if I’ve already had a few drinks

[sle4zy]

[blackberryshawty]

Me

[blethar]

When someone reminds me that I said I would stop drinking during the week

[blethar]

Globe Light Up (Like My Facebook Status)

You used to like my Facebook status When I posted my stories Like my Facebook status All my jokes and parodies And I know when that globe light up Someone else is showing love I know when that globe light up You're not giving me thumbs up

Ever since I moved to Twitter you Pasting every image that goes viral Even when the source is kinda doubtful You don't know you're wrong 'cause you don't Google Cause ever since I moved to Twitter you Started doing quizzes up on Buzzfeed Posting all the listicles from Buzzfeed Sharing, liking everything that's on Buzzfeed

You used to like my Facebook status When I posted jokes by me Like my Facebook status Fulfil my attention needs I know when that globe light up It's not gonna be enough I know when that globe light up You gon' leave me feeling rough

Now that you're on Instagram well you, you, you TBT, hashtags go on and on Your captions always so very long Writing pages, making people yawn Now that you're on Instagram well you You getting hearts on all your selfies Posing in your swimsuit, looking healthy Making yourself look like you are so wealthy

You used to like my Facebook status Now I'm feeling sad, alone Like my Facebook status No-one's caring when I moan And I know when that globe light up Someone else is up the duff I know when that globe light up It's just spam from a start-up

Tumblr, all I see is Really creepy drawings, fanart for Steven Universe Really creepy fiction, fanfic for Steven Universe Making gifs from YouTube, always from Steven Universe Why won't you give me likes? I just need to get some likes, oh Why you never online Why you always missing mine Used to always have a phone, be a fangirl Don't leave me alone, yeah You only like yourself You should like someone else

You used to like my Facebook status But I know that life goes on Like my Facebook status I'm gonna post and stay strong But I know when that globe light up Wishing you would show me love I know when that globe light up I can never get enough

Ever since I left my Facebook

[blethar]

Just discovered your blog and it is absolutely amazing love the lyrics parodies

Thank you very much ^_^

[blethar]

nets

I delete my history from all the browsers that I have ever used I can’t bear for you to see the amount of bandwidth I have abused

I can spend an hour or three getting lost in the weird parts of YouTube Sometimes I’ll get Google-y to see if I’m more viral than you

I cannot deal with your reality But I’ve discovered a new place for me When I’m connecting fibre-optically I’m sticking to the screen like a barnacle to ship

Ashamed of myself It’s just a shadow I won't show Keep it to yourself You can’t tell them where I go

Now that I’m online, I’m spending all my time Commenting on videos of amusing felines When am I online, devoting all my time Updating my status for attention on a whine

Don’t expect to hear from me ‘cause I have got to feed my Neopets There is a guy in this forum who I have not told that he’s wrong - yet!

I used to read and sometimes watch TV I’ve even played on a PlayStation3 But when the Wi-Fi’s everywhere and free I'm sticking to my screen like I have been glued to it

Now that I’m online, I’m spending all my time Commenting on videos of amusing felines When I am online, devoting all my time Updating my status for attention on a whine

Never have the time, and never can I find New ways to amuse myself that help me to unwind So now I'm online, and spending all my time Writing parodies of iamamiwhoami

Not proud of myself Spending all my life online I guess there’s worse ways In which I could kill my time

[blethar]

diet plan

Where are you, my chocolate cake? They’ve told me it’s time for your leaving I’m craving cocoa-flavored baking now My saddened sweet tooth started grieving

I don’t know how to fill this hole  With grilled white meats, legumes and raisins I’m crying out for all that tastes so good My stomach’s going through a hazing

Diet undertaking, weight loss promises I can’t, see any toes Scales have got to breaking, on my premises In my parents’ abode 

I shouldn’t go, to buffets Leaving them like scenes of war

Where are you, my parmesan? The last I saw of you was grating Onto spaghetti carbonara, served To myself and who I was dating But if I choose to stop the carbs? (So I would swallow only healthy) If I choose to focus on dairy? (And maybe eat some vegetables) Could you make up for the things I would lack? (Could I avoid this at Thanksgiving?) Life without pasta’s very scary (Would my life even be worth living?) Diet undertaking, weight loss promises I can’t, see any toes Scales have got to breaking, on my premises In my parents’ abode Where are you, my bowl of fruits? You’re all I have now for the eating

[blethar]

When you write a great pop song but the record label won’t give you money to make a music video

[blethar]

When I get my salary but it’s also time to pay the bills

[blethar]

When I try to dance sober in a nightclub

[blethar]

When I decide to try a new hairdresser to save some money

[blethar]

When the barman tells me that Happy Hour just ended

[blethar]

When I leave Friday drinks because I have to get up early on Saturday

[blethar]

When I try to flirt with someone across the room

[blethar]

When somebody asks me if I’ve been drinking

[blethar]

I like making GIFs but I’m rubbish at the captions. Any ideas?

[blethar]

London Chunnel line, take me to the city, to the city: PARIS Eurostar is speeding, under the ocean; tunnel motion: PARIS Let’s go start a new life in Gaul-land; be a Frenchman: PARIS Eurostar is speeding to a French nation, c’est si bon: PARIS

Francophiles, we stand united Car, plane or train please take us to the city I can’t wait to see the beauty City of lights, city of lights

Take me to the city, take me to the city Take me to the Frenchies, to the Frenchies, to the Frenchies Take me to the city, take me to the city Take me out to Paris, out to Paris, out to Paris

When I live city life, in the city of lights I love how it all feels so right, it feels so right But it doesn’t last long, and it starts going wrong When you’re mugged on Saturday night PARIS

So I’ve lost my wallet; at least I’m breathing - and leaving: PARIS Tried it once and now I’m done with the city, ‘cause it’s shitty (shitty city)

Here’s a friendly word of warning: Come for the week but leave before the weekend You say I’m overreacting City of light? City of shite!

Take me from the city, take me from the city Take me from the Frenchies, from the Frenchies, from the Frenchies Take me from the city, take me from the city Take me out of Paris, out of Paris, out of Paris

When you're threatened with knives; beaten, clutching your sides You’ll wonder if it’s worth the fight, it’s worth the fight Got no money, no phone; stuck outside on your own When you’re mugged on Saturday night, Saturday ni-ight

Been mugged on Saturday night, Saturday night City of shi-ite Been mugged on Saturday night PARIS

Rouen, go Move to Bordeaux! Toulouse Avignon Poitiers PARIS FUCK OFF Annecy - all these better cities to see Cannes Now get in a van And move to la France

You might give it a go, even when they scream “no” And decide that it’s worth the fight, it’s worth the fight Insurance on your phone, and your cash is at home When you’re mugged on Saturday night, then it’s all ri-ght

It’s just a part of the life, part of the life Parisian life It’s just a part of the life

PARIS