blitzenillusion

[blitzenillusion]

[blitzenillusion]

Ode to Pretzels -

Cheese is the right answer but I am a mustard aficionado. If you mix some hard mustard with some good cheese…bangin.

Well I feel like everyone know Rudolph. Then pranced has a few movies of his own. Vixen is a little minx. Comet and Cupid…come on.

Blitzen just sounds like a cool dude that is just trying to make the team better but everyone else keeps over shining him.

Idk it just makes sense up in my noggin.

Happy to make ya smile! Here for you pretzel!

I could go for a nice charcuterie you know. Cheese and some berries. Nice meat and maybe a jam.

I like to graze.

- Blitzen

@pretzelarrow

[pretzelarrow]

Dear Blitzen,

I like mustard too! Now I feel bad for not picking mustard. It's nothing against mustard at all, its just that cheese goes with so many different snacks and can even be a snack all on its own. But that does sound delicious, I'm going to have to try it.

I like your explanation! Its good for everyone to have people that celebrate them. I bet Blitzen likes knowing they've got such a cool fan.

Charcuterie is very good. Its like having all kinds of different food in one so you don't have to make too many choices.

Most of the time I'm eating a lot of different snack foods because I find them hard to resist. I even made the little pretzel arrows for my picture mostly so I could eat them as a salty sweet snack .They were great!

Do you like to do anything while you're enjoying your charcuterie?

Snackily,

Pretzel

@blitzenillusion

[blitzenillusion]

Ode to Pretzels ,

Don’t feel bad! I think cheese might be the acceptable answer for just about anything.

Cheese > everything

I totally forgot to even comment on how cute the arrows you made are! I think cute is the right adjective. Are you some sort of chef or you just like food crafting?

I do all sorts of things! I’ll admit I like a social media scroll. A big fan of movies. I work a lot so it’s nice for downtime to be filled with low stimulus activities….

…but I do like some more spicy activities too but who doesn’t!

-Blitzen

@pretzelarrow

[ornateserpent]

Blitzen,

I'm probably taking this entirely the wrong way but for some reason your username made me think of reindeer.

But hello, that was a very clumsy way to start a conversation I'm sure but I have to start somewhere I guess. I feel like it's probably obvious I am not used to doing this sort of thing.

I've also basically been ignoring the questions we're supposed to ask people because asking what a first date should be and then what animals people are really just makes me think of going to the zoo.

There wasn't a question in there, I guess I need one of those so are you having fun with all of these email matches so far? It's a little chaotic, isn't it?

@blitzenillusion

[blitzenillusion]

S,

Reindeer is 100% right! Look at you!

It’s fun. I have mixed reviews because I am very busy and I like to talk. Like open my mouth and chat.

I loose my audience when I have to type it out. I feel like all my charm gets lost behind the words.

How are you enjoying it? Met your special someone?! Do I have any chances still?

- Blizten

@ornateserpent

[blitzenillusion]

Spy Mind,

*squints at screen*

Wait wait wait there is a ball?

Like Cinderella at the ball? Well I’d go as long as we don’t go turning into some pumpkin!

I’d go on a date with ya sure if you felt like going on one! Or we could just go grab a beer and a hot dog. Or wings. Or candy floss. Whichever you prefer.

Oh so you’ve got a decent kitchen?! I don’t which is a nightmare. I really should start looking for my own place to stay but…I just never get around to it.

My talents in no particular order: gifted in the arts, gifted in charm, gifted at making the best lemon blueberry loaf, gifted at theifting, oh and gifted and chugging beers.

What are you gifts? Besides not being a megamind spy!

@subtlemegaminded

[subtlemegaminded]

hi blitzen!

whoops, it's been deemed a mixer, but knowing swynlake they go pretty big with parties. especially when it's a town led event, so i just kinda think of any dance they put on as a ball. sorry if it turns out to be more lowkey though. but yes, there's a mixer where we're all supposed to go to meet up. unless idk you plan a meeting on your own. it's just kinda a given potential place to meet everyone you'd spoken with.

i don't drink, but i do like food!

i do have a decent kitchen, yeah. i know im very lucky to have access to one!! it's the best. not to rub it in or anything. but i understand not wanting to find a place, the process seems like a massive headache. esp if you're comfy where you're at.

those are very impressive. what kind of art? or do you mean the arcane? and as someone who loves baked goods, the best lemon blueberry loaf sounds prettyyyy good.

i myself don't really have any gifts or talents to speak of. honestly im pretty boring and don't really excel at anything. other than being able to place some obscure actor in other projects without having to look at imdb but that's not really a gift lol

from,

megamind

@blitzenillusion

[blitzenillusion]

Megamind!

I dropped my phone in a bucket at work! Have had it in a bowl of rice for a few days! Finally got her back on!

Sorry dude! (nb)

I’m down for a mixer or a ball. I need to get myself something to wear. Can’t really show up in jeans and a tshirts gotta impress!

I’ve got a kitchen I can use but it would be a dream to build my own. I want a killer fridge you know one of those ones with the French doors but also the freezer drawer on the bottom. With a whole ice drawer with pebble ice. A dream!

That’s a talent! Nobody said it needs to be a lame excuse for a politically correct talent. You can do something good and that’s fine!

- Blitzen

@subtlemegaminded

[blitzenillusion]

Ode to Pretzels,

Do you like your pretzels with cheese or mustard? Sorry have to know! This is very important intel.

I am no magician I just thought the name was cool. Reindeer are dope and blitzen might be my favorite. Illusions is kinda what this whole thing is about isn’t it.

Hidden behind names.

Doesn’t matter much if it’s late! We can do a quick little virtual date here. No pressure no rush!

- Blitzen

@pretzelarrow

[pretzelarrow]

Dear Blitzen,

Hm. I suppose with cheese between those two? Cheese is always delicious so its great to go on pretzels too.

What makes Blitzen your favorite of the reindeer?

I like that idea, that we're all sort of making illusions right now to hide. It makes it seem like lots of fun. Which this is! I'm glad that I didn't miss out on your emails, they're already making me smile.

What snack do you like to get with your pretzels on our virtual date?

Excitedly,

Pretzel

@blitzenillusion

[blitzenillusion]

Ode to Pretzels -

Cheese is the right answer but I am a mustard aficionado. If you mix some hard mustard with some good cheese…bangin.

Well I feel like everyone know Rudolph. Then pranced has a few movies of his own. Vixen is a little minx. Comet and Cupid…come on.

Blitzen just sounds like a cool dude that is just trying to make the team better but everyone else keeps over shining him.

Idk it just makes sense up in my noggin.

Happy to make ya smile! Here for you pretzel!

I could go for a nice charcuterie you know. Cheese and some berries. Nice meat and maybe a jam.

I like to graze.

- Blitzen

@pretzelarrow

[pretzelarrow]

Dear blitzenillusion,

Hello there! It's nice to meet you! I know this is maybe a little late, but hopefully we'll see him a chance to talk a little bit and it'll be nice. I really like your name. Can you do illusion magic? Or do you just like them?

Sincerely,

Pretzelarrow

@blizenillusion

[blitzenillusion]

Ode to Pretzels,

Do you like your pretzels with cheese or mustard? Sorry have to know! This is very important intel.

I am no magician I just thought the name was cool. Reindeer are dope and blitzen might be my favorite. Illusions is kinda what this whole thing is about isn’t it.

Hidden behind names.

Doesn’t matter much if it’s late! We can do a quick little virtual date here. No pressure no rush!

- Blitzen

@pretzelarrow

[blitzenillusion]

Seagulls do like to Blitzen

[blitzenillusion]

Seagull baby,

Moon Market?! I hang by there often! That owner is a real interesting cat! I’ll have to see what this sexy guys all about.

Can never get smooth of sexy people!

I am unconventionally sexy. I know what I bring to the table.

So wait not to by pass the gender conversation —but did you say your ex was rude? Or an ass?

Tell me about that! I’ll throw a dating story right back at ya!

@luminous-seagull

[luminous-seagull]

Hey Blitzen!

I love unconventionally sexy! ^_^ You've got to know what you bring the table and own it!

Oh my god, in the last four years where do I begin...

There was the guy who punched a hole in the wall when he was screaming at me

The girl who stole money from me

The guy who I believed when he swore he wasn't cheating on me even though I got a hey girly DM on TikTok

The person who got super jealous when I hungout with ANYBODY

The girl who wouldn't stop letting her ex call her over to do home repairs when she had other butch lesbian with a toolbox friends too who could've done it

I swear I'm a magnet for trouble and not even the fun kind anymore!

What's your horror story?

~LS

[blitzenillusion]

Seagull!!!

I am loving these stories. I feel like I’ve lived some of these crazy times too!

Also four years with this many?! You might be coming for my title of serial dater!

Yeah yeah I’m here for a match. Seagull I’m just trying to change my ways don’t hold it against me! What’s a feller to do!

I’ve got this crazy story of an ex who belonged on my strange addiction.

Certain magick fetish that is actually harmful for my kind!

Fame climbing himbo who was making friends with all my friends to get to me

Cheater Cheater tried to steal my damn car!

Poly is not for me

Some places food does not belong ok…

Sometimes the best people are magnets for trouble!

-Blitzen

@luminous-seagull

[blitzenillusion]

Seagulls do like to Blitzen

[blitzenillusion]

Seagull,

Who is this hot fairy?! Am I missing someone on my roster?! Fuck don’t go holding out on me!

Coworkers…well there’s one girl. She’s a total babe but you can tell that she has no idea how hot she is. Have I told her? No.

What about you? So you said bi panic?! I am pretty fluid if they are hot I’m into it.

- Blitzen

@luminous-seagull

[luminous-seagull]

@blitzenillusion

Blitzen,

God, I wish I could remember his name!! I mean he's taken now, and definitely older. But still I used to like looking at him. Now Moon Market poached him for the kitchen and I don't get to stare at him :( You know Hatter? His boyfriend, that's who I'm talking about.

Most of them, I unfortunately work in hot people city!

Yeah! I'm bi and definitely notice gender plays a factor in my attraction, but like I've dated people with genders that would make Boomer's heads spin so like. If you're hot and interesting and nice to me ^_^ Well, not even nice to me judging by my recent dating history but!

~LS

[blitzenillusion]

Seagull baby,

Moon Market?! I hang by there often! That owner is a real interesting cat! I’ll have to see what this sexy guys all about.

Can never get smooth of sexy people!

I am unconventionally sexy. I know what I bring to the table.

So wait not to by pass the gender conversation —but did you say your ex was rude? Or an ass?

Tell me about that! I’ll throw a dating story right back at ya!

@luminous-seagull

[blitzenillusion]

Do The Blitz

[blitzenillusion]

Oh so you're into 80s movies?! Me too! Whats your favorite? You more of a Pretty in Pink or a Ferris Buller fan? No pressure but there is only one right answer here. The clock is ticking! -Blitzen @do-the-reindeer-blitz

[do-the-reindeer-blitz]

damn and im bad at pop quizzes

i mean id go with the goonies actually. or stand by me. i like when the little kids get up to no good.

-blitz

[blitzenillusion]

Everyone is bad at pop quizzes! So you passed that quiz!! LOL! Goonies is alright. Stand by Me....I could do without. I mean Ferris gets up to no good. So what I am hearing is you're a trouble maker? Like me?

-Blizten

@do-the-reindeer-blitz

[do-the-reindeer-blitz]

damn waht do you have against stand by me? that film taught me everythign i know about friendship and death and loyalty etc etc like all the big life lessons

which is to say i guess some people might think im a trouble maker. i just think i like to have adventures you know? even fi most of the time its mostly in my head

[blitzenillusion]

Blitz -

Life lessons with fancy hair. No there is nothing wrong with the movie just not my favorite! Better than the goonies that film just doesn’t hit.

I do like trouble. I think my family only seems me as trouble.

I think it’s time you just go on an adventure. You’ve got to stop doing in in just your head.

-Blitzen

@do-the-reindeer-blitz

[blitzenillusion]

Not a Spy,

So wait wait wait wait wait! Pump the breaks! You’re telling me you’ve never been on a date!

Well welcome welcome welcome to the lovely world of email dating in 2026 where we will engage in small talk and maybe just maybe hit it off!

If we do I can promise we will have one kick ass real first date! We just gotta go through the seven layers of hell or some shit to get there!

Hold on to your britches Megamind!

All that being said! (Hell of a performance huh!)

I do think I’d like to go on an actual date after all this. Even if it ends up boring I know I can make it entertaining and maybe I won’t meet my boo thang but I’ll gain a friend!

I won’t hold the brunch thing against you. I will just leave you with this…have you ever been at a restaurant around 1130 on a weekend? And a table of bumbling broads come in all getting avocado toast and bottomless mimosas? It’s hell. Trust me.

Well something about me…I come from a big family and I’ve got a few talents…oh and I’m a proud magick!

-Blitzen

@subtlemegaminded

[subtlemegaminded]

hi blitzen!

holding onto my britches as we speak, blitzen.

(*round of applause for said performance*)

also, wait sorry, does that mean you want to go on a date with me specifically? or just your matches in general? like at the ball?

and yeah, i have! believe me, i know what you mean and can concur. maybe you just need the right setting for brunch. for me, that's my kitchen, away from the scary group of women judging people and with good food. no alcohol required!

oooo, what are these talents?

from,

megamind

@blitzenillusion

[blitzenillusion]

Spy Mind,

*squints at screen*

Wait wait wait there is a ball?

Like Cinderella at the ball? Well I’d go as long as we don’t go turning into some pumpkin!

I’d go on a date with ya sure if you felt like going on one! Or we could just go grab a beer and a hot dog. Or wings. Or candy floss. Whichever you prefer.

Oh so you’ve got a decent kitchen?! I don’t which is a nightmare. I really should start looking for my own place to stay but…I just never get around to it.

My talents in no particular order: gifted in the arts, gifted in charm, gifted at making the best lemon blueberry loaf, gifted at theifting, oh and gifted and chugging beers.

What are you gifts? Besides not being a megamind spy!

@subtlemegaminded

[blitzenillusion]

Seagulls do like to Blitzen

[blitzenillusion]

Seagull,

What an odd animal to choose. Are they not called the rats of the sky?! Nothing wrong with that though!

10/10 for the answers! Hell yeah! Well I think I would kill Adele because there might be something sinister going on there. Sorry sister gotta go. Marry Cass - have you met her she might be a saint! Then fuck the guy from the coffee shop because why not!

Lets see....Rank hottest to least - I know I know tricky. Lucky from the Cinema. John the hot bartender. Georgette from the salon. There is no wrong answer!

-Blizten

@luminous-seagull

[luminous-seagull]

Blitzen,

Literally just randomly came to mind I have no love for them xD

oooh those are good answers because I too would have to marry Cass for her cooking even if I couldn't remember her name. Oops. Forgive me queen.

No this one is actually easy, because I don't think John is that hot. He's generic attractive white guy no. 7 to me, so it's gonna have to go Georgette because she gives me bi panic, Lucky, then John, yeah. Final answer!

Know who I miss pouring my drinks? You know the hot fairy bartender that used to work at Pierrot when it was Pixie's? He was a little older, but that man was FIT. I was so sad when he quit working there, I had to mourn.

Do you have any coworkers you'd hook up with?

~ LS

[blitzenillusion]

Seagull,

Who is this hot fairy?! Am I missing someone on my roster?! Fuck don’t go holding out on me!

Coworkers…well there’s one girl. She’s a total babe but you can tell that she has no idea how hot she is. Have I told her? No.

What about you? So you said bi panic?! I am pretty fluid if they are hot I’m into it.

- Blitzen

@luminous-seagull

[blitzenillusion]

Not a Spy Megamind, Is it because you've never been on a date?! You can tell me I won't judge. They are kinda over rated and people really hype them up. Most never go well and a lot of the time people are just shitty. So you're not missing much. Nah nah I just think brunch is overrated. Who wants it? Bitches with mimosas? Nah a good hearty breakfast is where its at. Steak and eggs...Mega you ever had a nice fry up of hash, steak and eggs? Or a sweet stack of fluffy pancakes. You are giving me options but why don't you tell me something about you?!

-Blizten

@subtlemegaminded

[subtlemegaminded]

hi blitzen!

i don't know that not going on a date would correlate to not being able to pick a perfect first date...that being said, you clocked me. i haven't lmao. but your description of them makes me wonder why you signed up if you dislike them so much? i am assuming you want to go on one with whoever you find a connection with though these emails, no?

gotchya. and i mean, hey, if i wake up a little late and don't want to wait for lunch, im going to dig in to a brunch lmfao. but i guess that's just me considering the time of day rather than, like, the event of a brunch.

and i'll tell you something about myself! just ask and ye shall recieve.

from,

megamind

@blitzenillusion

[blitzenillusion]

Not a Spy,

So wait wait wait wait wait! Pump the breaks! You’re telling me you’ve never been on a date!

Well welcome welcome welcome to the lovely world of email dating in 2026 where we will engage in small talk and maybe just maybe hit it off!

If we do I can promise we will have one kick ass real first date! We just gotta go through the seven layers of hell or some shit to get there!

Hold on to your britches Megamind!

All that being said! (Hell of a performance huh!)

I do think I’d like to go on an actual date after all this. Even if it ends up boring I know I can make it entertaining and maybe I won’t meet my boo thang but I’ll gain a friend!

I won’t hold the brunch thing against you. I will just leave you with this…have you ever been at a restaurant around 1130 on a weekend? And a table of bumbling broads come in all getting avocado toast and bottomless mimosas? It’s hell. Trust me.

Well something about me…I come from a big family and I’ve got a few talents…oh and I’m a proud magick!

-Blitzen

@subtlemegaminded

[blitzenillusion]

Seagulls do like to Blitzen

[luminous-seagull]

Blitzen,

I'd love to meet people! Whether it's just new connections or dating, awesome! You? And seagull was the first animal I could think of lol!

Right? These prompts are so boring!!!

Okay so obviously I'd marry Cher because she's loaded. Kill King Charles. And fuck the mayor he's hot and if his boyfriend wants to join that's fine too.

Okay, fuck, marry, kill. Adele, Hatter from Hatter's Tea Shoppe, and the Lucky Cat Lady...what's her name, Cassie?

~ Seagull

[blitzenillusion]

Seagull,

What an odd animal to choose. Are they not called the rats of the sky?! Nothing wrong with that though!

10/10 for the answers! Hell yeah! Well I think I would kill Adele because there might be something sinister going on there. Sorry sister gotta go. Marry Cass - have you met her she might be a saint! Then fuck the guy from the coffee shop because why not!

Lets see....Rank hottest to least - I know I know tricky. Lucky from the Cinema. John the hot bartender. Georgette from the salon. There is no wrong answer!

-Blizten

@luminous-seagull

[blitzenillusion]

Megamind! You can't answer the first prompt....Isn't the first one just about dates you like? Its a pretty opinionated and subjective. Pretty sure that's why they chose it! So what are you some type of spy or somethin....you can't expose yourself that much?! Golly thats crazy!

Dates are cool! I usually don't do first dates since I just meet people on the fly and our first date is really our second date and that shit gets personal!

I eat every meal I can! Breakfast is the shit. Hate brunch though but I probably shouldn't say that!

-Blitzen

@subtlemegaminded

[subtlemegaminded]

hi blitzen!

oop. i meant more like, i can't answer it because i literally have no answer. there is no one answer to me as far as what a perfect first date is, not that i think it would #expose me. sorry! i'll rephrase: i don't have a good answer for the first prompt, so i shant answer it.

and good to know!

what makes you say you shouldn't hate brunch? it's just your opinion and this is a safe space, promise. as for breakfast, do you like a sweet breakfast (pancakes, waffles, pastry,) or something savory? (eggs, bacon, ham, breakfast sandwich, etc.)

from,

megamind

@blitzenillusion

[blitzenillusion]

Not a Spy Megamind, Is it because you've never been on a date?! You can tell me I won't judge. They are kinda over rated and people really hype them up. Most never go well and a lot of the time people are just shitty. So you're not missing much. Nah nah I just think brunch is overrated. Who wants it? Bitches with mimosas? Nah a good hearty breakfast is where its at. Steak and eggs...Mega you ever had a nice fry up of hash, steak and eggs? Or a sweet stack of fluffy pancakes. You are giving me options but why don't you tell me something about you?!

-Blizten

@subtlemegaminded

[blitzenillusion]

slowcyclone >> blitzenillusion

[slowcyclone]

Hello,

Are you from the States? Or just a rollercoaster enthusiast? Are you even allowed to answer that? Not sure.

I find it interesting that you put loving Coke as one of your descriptors. Are you one of those people who drinks a Coke every day?

For me: ambitious, passionate, and intelligent.

Regards, SlowCyclone

@blitzenillusion

[blitzenillusion]

Whats Popppin Slow, I am from the states! Lived all over though! I can't same I am a big coaster enthusiast but I do love a good thrill ride. Pretty sure I wouldn't be able to answer that if I was like some coaster engineer or something and I was famous for that and you could be able to clock my ass for that insanely specific job! I don't do any of those things so we are good! Coke is just good! I don't think I have one every day but if it was offered to me I wouldn't say no. I like to think you can tell a lot about someone from what soda they take from a full cooler ya know! Oh so we've got a smart ambitious and passionate cyclone! Tell me what you're passionate about. Of course don't give anything up. Maybe speak in code!

-Blitzen

@slowcyclone

[blitzenillusion]

Do The Blitz

[blitzenillusion]

Oh so you're into 80s movies?! Me too! Whats your favorite? You more of a Pretty in Pink or a Ferris Buller fan? No pressure but there is only one right answer here. The clock is ticking! -Blitzen @do-the-reindeer-blitz

[do-the-reindeer-blitz]

damn and im bad at pop quizzes

i mean id go with the goonies actually. or stand by me. i like when the little kids get up to no good.

-blitz

[blitzenillusion]

Everyone is bad at pop quizzes! So you passed that quiz!! LOL! Goonies is alright. Stand by Me....I could do without. I mean Ferris gets up to no good. So what I am hearing is you're a trouble maker? Like me?

-Blizten

@do-the-reindeer-blitz

[subtlemegaminded]

@blitzenillusion

hi! how are you doing?

since i personally can't answer the first prompt they've started us off with, i'm not going to ask you to answer it. but if you WANT to share what your ideal first date is, please feel free!

so, to actually ask a question, are you a breakfast person? as in like, do you actually eat it? or are you someone who just grabs something small, or waits until lunch to eat?

from,

megamind

[blitzenillusion]

Megamind! You can't answer the first prompt....Isn't the first one just about dates you like? Its a pretty opinionated and subjective. Pretty sure that's why they chose it! So what are you some type of spy or somethin....you can't expose yourself that much?! Golly thats crazy!

Dates are cool! I usually don't do first dates since I just meet people on the fly and our first date is really our second date and that shit gets personal!

I eat every meal I can! Breakfast is the shit. Hate brunch though but I probably shouldn't say that!

-Blitzen

@subtlemegaminded