Oo, sobrang naguguilty ako, naguguilty ako dahil kahit sobrang sama ko, nandito padin sya sa tabi ko, naguguilty ako kasi I am always the reason why he's in pain, like, everything he did was to make me happy, but here I am, kahit maliliit na bagay ginagawang dahilan ng away, maliliit na bagay pinagseselosan, lahat pinaghihinalaan, lahat mali, lahat may doubt, ni hindi ko magawang magtiwala ng buo sakanya.. pero until now nandito padin sya. sa sobrang baliw ko, gusto ko nalang syang iwan, hindi dahil hindi ko sya mahal, pero dahil hindi nya ko deserve, maybe there's someone who's better enough to love him more than I what I did, sobrang sinalbahe ko na sya, lahat na ng worst na salita, mura, beyond the belt, at sinabe ko na may iba na ako para lang sya na yung lumayo.. walang epek, ako din yung napipikon kasi hindi ko alam kung sobra nya na akong kilala at ni isa wala syang pinaniwalaan dun, lahat ng pwede mong maisip na masasakit na salita natanggap nya, pero until now nandito padin sya.. My family, friends and some of my workmates met him already, and I never heard anything but good feedback towards him, "magaling makisama", "nakikita namin na lovelove ka talaga nya", at ang pinaka nakakagiuilty na marinig sakanila "bilib na talaga ako sakanya, natatagalan nya yang ugali mo, grabe ang swerte mo".. which is right, at hindi ko alam anong katangahan meron ako bakit hindi ko nakikita yung mga ginagawa nya for me. I took everything for granted, sinagad ko pasensya nya, nilabas ko lahat ng worst side ko, lahat ng pwedeng makasakit sakanya ginawa ko, sinadya ko lahat para sya na mismo ang lumayo sakin, para sya na mismo yung umayaw at iwan ako.. Dahil walang sapat na dahilan sakanya para maghiwalay kami, kaya ako na gumawa ng paraan dahil ang tanga tanga ko.. Hindi sya perpekto, hindi rin ako, he's not the usual type of guy na sobrang drama, ma sweet words, hindi masyadong vocal, pero binabawi lahat sa kilos, hindi nya ako sinanay sa mabubulaklak na salita kundi lahat ginagawa nya to show how much I mean & how special I am for him.. Hindi rin sya yung sobrang pa demure na lalaki, bargas sya kung bargas, walang hiya kung walang hiya, sabihin na natin na medyo bad boy kuno, breezy pa nga minsan, akala mo hindi ka nya girlfriend kung tratuhin ka, pero the way he acts and obeys his parents, how he cares to his younger sisters.. that makes me fall in love with him. Yung sobrang angas pero sa magulang tiklop, that's how he is. Kaya lakas tumalon ng puso ko pag nag ssweet sweetan yan, mararamdaman mong totoo. Kung sermunan at pagalitan ako kala mo kuya ko. Totoong lalaki. Sabi nga nila "relationship goals" daw kami, akala ng iba hindi kami nag aaway, pero kung alam lang talaga nila, kaya hindi ko din alam kelan ako matatauhan at ibigay ang tamang pagpapahalaga sakanya.. And then this worst day came, it's our or should I say my turning point to change everything and We came to a point na, I already reached his limits, wherein sya mismo hindi na nya alam kung dapat pa naming ituloy yung kung anong meron kami ngayon, which is yun naman yung gusto kong mangyare, when he threw those words na "thankyou, thankyou nalang.. thank you kasi dumating ka sa buhay ko" breaks my heart at parang yun yung naging turning point na, no! hindi ko sya kayang mawala, ngayon hindi lang ako worst, super selfish ko nadin, kasi ayoko syamg mawala pero sinasaktan ko sya.. that is the worst week I ever had in our entire relationship, like nakikipag thug-of-war kami between itutuloy pa ba, lalaban pa ba, o isusuko na, but still we end up fixing our relationship. Now, were still in a process of 'starting over again'.. only few trusted people knew the whole story, and I thank God for having them, we both decided to keep everything between us, and I think that's a way better to keep our relationship fonder. I can't help but to brag how blessed I am to have you in my life, We don't know what future holds, but whatever happens, if we don't end up with each other, still, I will always be thankful that you gave me happy memories.