try me

Wes Nixon. 24. Born and raised, New York City. current month: mid-july

[sarahartley]

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sarahartley:

Sara knew she should respect Wes’ decision if she wants him to respect hers. But how would they meet in the middle if both their plans were against each other? It really was, deciding whether to beg for you boyfriend to stay and let him go to fix whatever it is that he wants to fix on his own. Which decision screams I love you the most? His plan could work but whose to say it would? No one knows what the future holds and like he said, she just needs to trust him on this. Hearing his assurance, Sara nodded at him, even if she still has reservations. “Stay or come back. It’s all I want.” She said, her voice cracking and begging. Shaking her head, she really didn’t mind the place anymore. Restaurant is a business that could be anywhere so that wouldn’t be an issue. She just needs to find a good spot where most people would see them. “Anywhere, Wes. If New York is where you feel at home the most then that’s where we’ll be.” She knows how important New York to him is too and that might not be the case in the next 30 years but right now, that’s where their sight is. 

Right now, Sara was finally hearing him. The man who wanted change in his life for the better and that was the man she fell in love with. He wanted to do this on his own to prove, most likely to himself, that he’s really become a better person. Leaning up, Sara kissed him on the lips, hard and passionately as she cried more. “I love you so much.” She said before kissing him one more time and wrapping her arm around his neck. “I’m sorry, Wes. I’m sorry. I just thought you’d be happy with my plan. I should’ve talked to you about it first. I’m sorry.”

He knew that she didn’t want him to go. It killed him that he was doing this, but he knew that it was for his own good, and for hers too. Hearing her beg broke his heart. “I’ll come back. I will. We’ll figure it out together. I’m not gonna let this break us up,” he told her, firm in saying that. “It’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna hurt like hell, but I want it to be worth it. I want to be able to say that I can do it all on my own. I want to know that I really have changed,” he told her again. “And I don’t want that to affect you.” Wes knew that being back in New York would bring back some old demons and he didn’t want Sara involved. If she wanted to be in New York, he had to fix that first. Right now, he didn’t really think that New York was home. Home was right there in front of him, and his heart was screaming at him for doing this. He used to think that ‘home is wherever you are’ thing was bullshit, but it was true. There she was, willing to give it all to him. This girl was his and he wasn’t going to let her down.

Kissing her back, his arms were around her as tight as he could without hurting her. “I love you,” he told her in response. It felt weird to hear her say that and to say it back in response, but in a good way. He had never felt so much love and he knew he needed to get used to it because she wasn’t going anywhere. Hugging her, he heard what she said and his heart broke. “It was a good idea,” he told her, “And I really appreciate what you did. If things were perfect in my life, then I would’ve said we should go for it. But we both know I’m not perfect and I never was. I have to fix things.” While he had wished that she talked to him about it first, he didn’t want her to feel bad about wanting that future for them.

[sarahartley]

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | 14

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sarahartley:

Those eyes, when they look at her, she was a goner. She wasn’t sure if believing him was an impulsive decision she made because she’s in love with him or he just gives her a look that was full of honesty and sincerity. The guy who’s never said he loves a girl just broke that mindset. He really did surprise her in the most unexpected ways. Sara wanted to doubt him but no matter what she does, she really believes him. But now that they’ve confessed that, why won’t he let them be together in New York? Did he feel like she’s invading his privacy if she’ll be there? Sara still has a lot of questions but she doesn’t know where to start. 

As she fell onto his hold, Sara could feel like she could breathe again and crying was not an issue. She could cry on him and just let out her feelings because she’s hurt and she feels desperate. When Wes even tried to make her laugh, she calmed down a little. She wasn’t laughing but she felt a little lighter at his attempt. Wrapping her arms around him, Sara held her boyfriend tighter as if he would be leaving today. She doesn’t want to let him go. Keeping her head down, Sara listened to what Wes was trying to say. Nodding, she looked up as he suggested an idea. Two weeks? That’s better than being apart forever right? “Are you sure you’re coming back? What if…you can’t? Whatever it is that’s holding you back there, what if it holds you longer?” She knew she’s being selfish but she’s never been in a long distance relationship before. “Can’t I just come with you? I promise I won’t get in your way. I’ll let you deal with everything on your own. I just… I got used to coming home to you. And being there when you come home. It’s how my life is now, and how I like it.”

He knew he shouldn’t expect her to just be happy again. There was a lot at stake and this was serious. A few minutes ago, he could’ve sworn that she was going to break up with him and leave, afraid she’d never believe that he could love her. But she was wrong. He loved her, more than he knew how to describe, and he wasn’t going down without a fight. Wes knew that she would have reservations about his plan, and he understood that. There was no guarantee that things would go his way when he got back to New York. There was no promising that he could fix everything in two weeks, but he had to be hopeful.

 “I’m coming back,” he assured her. “If things don’t go as planned, and I can’t fix things, then.. I’ll come back to you, and we’ll figure out our next step forward.” He thought about another possibility. “And if moving out of Lakeview is what you want, then we can find another city. Boston, Philadelphia.. hell, we could even live outside of the city. We can find a place where you can start your restaurant and break ground on your organization.” He knew that was important to her, so it was important to him too. When she kept asking, he sighed a little. “I need to know that I can do this on my own,” he told her, “that I have grown this summer, and that I can take care of myself, make amends, solve my problems I’d ran away from in the past.” He stopped, knowing that being apart from her was going to be hell. “I know, babe, but... I’m not gonna be comfortable with that until I know that I can start fresh, and be able to move forward to wherever I go. Look... we don’t need to decide this right now. We’ll both think it over, okay?”

[sarahartley]

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sarahartley:

Sara thought she had an answer to his every defense. She prepared herself before getting there but right now, her choices weren’t matching up anymore. Say they move to live in different places, where does that lead her restaurant to? A restaurant to a food truck isn’t really an upgrade in anyone’s book. Going quiet, she decided not to answer anymore and just shake her head. Right now, her plan is to move to New York with Wes and set the restaurant up there. After that, well, she’ll just cross that bridge when she gets there. 

It wasn’t exactly how she imagined she’d be saying it for the first time to him but it had to be done like that. Sara needed to say it before she said goodbye to him, thinking she’d at least done her part in their very short relationship. Still standing in the same room as him, Sara tried to keep herself together, holding back the tears that might try to fall. Her heart was heavy and she was almost done with her stuff when Wes interrupted her. He stopped her by pulling Sara into his arms. She wanted to get out of it so bad but it was home. There’s no better place to be in than his arms. When their eyes locked, Sara knew she had to be strong, staying firm with her decisions and knowing Wes might say the same words just to make her stay. She prepared herself but when he spoke, his sincerity his her like a truck, believing in every word and every breath that came out of his mouth. As he continued talking, the tears were falling down her eyes again. Hearing him call her his missing piece and his home made her heart explode but what got to her the most was hearing him say that he loves her. It was impossible not to believe it.

Once he was done, she let her face fall onto his chest and that’s when she broke down and cried. Sara tried hitting him but she was to weak to even hurt Wes. Instead, she just continued to cry. “I hate you, I hate you.” She cried and sighed. “I just wanted us to be together. i don’t want to lose you, baby. I don’t. I can’t…do this anymore without you.” She said, feeling the need of that missing piece of her heart which only Wes could fill. Sara continued to cry but this time, she had her arms around him. “I just love you so much, Wes. I don’t want us to be apart.”

He wasn’t expecting his confession to fix everything, but he hoped that it at least showed her that he was in this for real. Wes wasn’t sure what she would make of it or if she would believe him, but he wanted her to know. She deserved to know that he wasn’t playing games with her and leading her too long to just let her go. Whatever decision he made, he was doing it for their future. And he knew that Sara was trying to do the same, which is why everything was getting so complicated. They both had their own plans and he knew that they’d need some compromise.

When she fell into his arms, he held her gently. She began hitting him and he winced a little, not because it hurt, but because he knew how much she was hurting. After a few seconds, he spoke. “Are you sure about that? I thought you just said that you loved me,” he said with a little grin, hoping to cheer her up. Being serious again, he knew it wasn’t the time. “I know, I know,” he told her. She was only trying to keep them together. While her making plans without him made him angry at first, he was trying to be understanding. Hearing her say that she loved him again, he closed his eyes. Hugging her tighter, he kissed the top of her head before looking at her. “Do you trust me?” he asked her, having an idea. “What if.. I go to New York... you stay here and keep taking care of the restaurant and the org. Give me two weeks, to straighten things out. And then once that’s over... I’ll come back to you, and we’ll talk things over. Together.”

[sarahartley]

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | 14

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sarahartley:

Shaking her head, Sara was just tired of hearing Wes doubt himself. He was far better than how he’s describing himself right now. It was how he feels but she would want him to stop thinking of himself like that. “Wes, who cares what they want? Shouldn’t what we want be more important than that?” Sara shook her head again. “If not Lakeview and not New York, then LA. Or Texas. Alaska, Hawaii, London, Australia, Africa, whatever. All I care about is having you there…with me.” She probably sounded too much right now but she was starting to feel hopeless already. If she had to beg him, she would do that. 

If he saw how much this was breaking her, maybe Wes would reconsider things. Either give her a good plan or just agree to what she has already. They have the option to be together so why would they have to settle in being apart? He surely has his reasons that has some truth to it but she has her points to and she wanted to fight for that. Their eyes locked and she was trying to read what he was about to say but for the first time in a long while, she couldn’t tell what he was feeling. And that scared her. As Wes spoke, Sara hoped for the better but go something that made her question him more. “Reuniting? So you see us separating?” She asked, her voice cracking. Stepping back a little, she decided to just say it now. “I love you. I love you, Wes. And I know you might not be prepared to say it as soon as I do and I understand that but…right now, I feel like I’m never gonna hear it. At all. So, thank you. For making me see that as early as now.” One more tear shed and she went back to packing her stuff. This just got done sooner before summer even came to an end.

If it was up to him, he would just travel the world and never settle down. But she couldn’t, not with her organization and her restaurant. She was successful, and had a lot going for her. If she followed him, he really hoped that she wouldn’t regret it. “What about your work?” he asked her realistically. “That’s so important to you, and I don’t want you to risk that.” He felt like it would be selfish of him to ask her to move everything for him, especially when she had so much more to give the world. 

He shook his head, about to respond before she finally said it. I love you, Wes. There. He wasn’t dreaming. Someone loved him. Sara loved him. There was someone in the world that loved him and wanted him, and there he was, telling her that they should be apart. She was right to think that he’d never say it, because for the longest time, he never thought he’d be the person to love. But after she told him how she felt, his future flashed before his eyes: living with her, marrying her, spending time with their kids. Yes, their kids. The thing that he thought he’d never want, and yet, it had flashed before him and he’d never wanted anything more - to be with her and share all of those moments with her. Because he loved her too. He was in love with the way she laughed, and the way she just made him feel so good inside. And how she understood him and helped him be a better man. The way she looked so beautiful waking up to her in the mornings, and how perfectly she fit against his body during the night. She was his missing puzzle piece.

 Coming back to reality, he realized his eyes were watery. Going to her, he pushed her bag away and held onto her arm. “You wanna know what else scares me?” he told her rather than asked. “That once I go to New York, everything could go to shit. I could fall into the pit that I’d been in.” He paused, his eyes locked on hers. “And I could lose everything. But I would have you.” Wes couldn’t see well from his watery eyes but he kept going. “A long time ago, you asked me what my version of happy was. And I told you I didn’t know, because I felt like I had some piece of myself missing? I couldn’t explain it.” He raised his eyebrows a little. “I think I’ve been denying it for a long time, but.. that missing piece.. it’s you, Sara.” Wes knew that for sure now. "New York’s not my home. You are.” Looking at her straight in the eye, he finally said what he’d been meaning. “I love you.” It felt like a weight off his shoulder. It was the first time he’d told someone that and he knew he’d never tell anyone ever again, if she let him. “I love you,” he said, his voice so sincere and deep, wanting her to believe it. 

[sarahartley]

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sarahartley:

No one who’s had a dark past wants it to incorporate in their future especially if they were turning into a new and better leaf. But of course, Sara wouldn’t know that. Her life is like a book of perfection, written and planned well so she really wouldn’t understand what he’s talking about. If Wes’ past freaks him out, why go back there to fix everything? Clearly, he didn’t need to, or so Sara thought. “If you don’t want it, then just stay. Stay with me here. We have this, our own place, each other. What more should I do to make you stay if you’re not letting me come with you?” She said, finally letting the tears roll down her face.

Accidentally, Sara blurted out the word she’s been carefully avoiding all night. Obviously, it was bound to come out since her emotions right now were all mixed up, unsure where to position herself anymore. Wes was quiet and she was praying that he wouldn’t question it. She’s afraid she’d just give in, confess to him and just go with what he wants. If he’s gonna fight for her to stay then she’s going to fight for them to be together in New York. As he started admitting his fears, Sara just decided to let her tears come out and quietly cry. Her bag is almost full but thankfully, she stopped filling it. “Do you think I’m not as scared as you are? If we mess up, we’ll fix it. I’m not gonna say that won’t happen but if it does, I would want to wake up and realize we’re not working beside you. Not miles away from you.” Walking closer to him, Sara let her head fall down as she softly cried. “Tell me, Wes. Do you even see a future with me? Like a real future? Because if not, I don’t even know what the point of this is.“

Staying in Lakeview was an option too. It would be a big move for him and he knew his parents wouldn’t like it but he was old enough to make his own decisions. He didn’t want to be their little soldier anymore. And yet, he had his reservations. “I don’t fit in here,” he told her. “Everyone here is so... perfect, and successful, and stable. Things that I’m just not. They know it too. For a while I thought I had made some progress but that all went to shit. They don’t want me here. They don’t want me with you. And that’s not gonna stop me from being with you, but it would just hang over my head and I’m just tired of not being enough for everyone.”

Wes listened to her and looked to the ground, hoping and praying that what she said was true, that they would fix things and that everything would be okay in the end. But Sara was the first good thing in his life that he absolutely could not lose. Looking up, he saw her tears and it broke his heart even more. He knew he should just be supportive of her and what she wanted. But in his head, he thought he was doing what was right for her. When she questioned how he saw them in the future, he paused. His eyes searched for hers, trying to explain how he was feeling. He had fallen for her, but he kept trying to tell himself not to. He was in denial that anyone would ever want that future with him. Wes’ self-esteem was pretty low in moments like these, and he’d never really thought about the future. “Sara...” he started, his brain a mess. The thought of falling in love scared him. It was just something he never thought that he’d have. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t see us reuniting in the end,” he told her.

[sarahartley]

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | 14

[blockbustermemories]

sarahartley:

Now, they’re back to whether they deserve each other or not. Sara really thought they got through this already considering she already chose her over anyone and everyone. She’s clarified to him over and over again that he doesn’t need to prove anything to her anymore because she was sure with him. “When will you understand that I chose you, Wes? I chose you because you make me happy and better and I—” She paused, shaking her head as she groaned under her breath. “You don’t need to leave your past behind. That’s a part of you and I accept you for whatever it is. It’s what made you who you are and I’m not going to change that. I don’t want you to change that.” Looking at him, her heart was slowly breaking. She really thought being together helped the two of them get over their worries and insecurities but clearly, it’s still attached to them. To him, at least. “We’re not shutting everyone out. We’re just focusing on us more than everyone.”

Sara has had enough. She was seeing colors of Wes that was surprising him and she just wanted to get out of there before things get worse for them. Sara was beginning to be open minded about the possibility of them breaking up tonight but she didn’t want them to end up hating each other. Going to their bedroom, yes it was theirs but now, she feels like she should stop calling it as if they share it. There’s still a lot more of Wes that she couldn’t understand and she hates how she’s realizing it all just now. They really should’ve had this talk weeks ago. When he stopped her, Sara just continued packing, not even looking at him anymore as she would only burst into tears. Wes continued and when he gave her a reason, Sara shook her head and paused. Turning to him, her face could not be painted anymore. Looking at him, she could still see him, the man she’s in love with but it’s like there’s another man trying to get in front and show himself. His past self wants to be seen more, the guy she’s never met. “It’s like your asking me to just keep loving you for the good man that you are. That’s not how it works, Wes. What are you so afraid of? Do not trust me? Do not trust how I feel for you? Or is it because you never really felt anything for me? That I’m just a girl you needed as a distraction while you’re in town?”

Wes knew that he should be grateful. He got what he wanted. She chose him, and there she was, willing to move across the country for him to be with him. But the bottom of his brain told him that he just couldn’t let her do that. For the  reasons of his past, he was holding back. Wes knew what he needed and wanted was right there in front of him. She had so much to give him and help him, and Wes tried to make sense of what was going on in his head. He was really only hurting himself but he thought this was best for her - to be away from the madness that was New York. “I don’t want it to be a part of me anymore. I’m not proud of it and I can’t handle the idea of going back there and being back to step one. Having everyone look at me like the disappoint that I was,” he told her. “And I don’t want you associated with that.”

As she kept packing, he just watched her, his body feeling frozen but fueled at the same time. Once he heard her word choice, he just stared at her. Did she just say that word? Wes stepped back, his eyes glossing over. He couldn’t talk, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe. If she meant what she said, then he knew making her question all of this would take a turn for the worst. “I’m scared,” he told her, admitting it. “There, I’m scared. I’m scared of what could happen once we get there, I’m scared that I could mess things up. I’m scared to lose you.” He swallowed hard, his fists clenching at his side. “I’m scared that you’re going to wake up one day and realize that maybe I’m not....” He stopped, wondering how serious she was about him.

[sarahartley]

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sarahartley:

“So what if I hate it? Then we’ll move somewhere else. I’m home wherever you are. There’s nothing more I could ask for.” She explained, knowing a lot of things could change if they move there and start a new life. They can’t just start over and over again just because they don’t like the place. There’ll be a lot at stake and it might not just be their relationship that would get ruined along the way. But for Sara, if they fall, at least, they fall together. It’s better that way than apart. She is so in love with this man that she’s starting to wonder if it would be worth it telling him. What if he doesn’t feel the same that’s why he’s stopping her plans? “It’s not about New York, Wes. It’s about us!” Like what she said, it’s wherever he is that she feels at home so New York could just be one of the places but since that’s where he’s going back to at the end of the summer, then that’s where her focus is. 

Looking at him, she couldn’t believe what was coming out of Wes’ mouth. This isn’t clearly the guy she spent every night with, the guy who held her in the scariest position for her. “How could you say being with me is not the best interest for you? Do you not—” Again, Sara cut herself and bit her lip as she looked away from him. She was not ready to ask it. “Why do we have to be apart when we could be together? We have every sign and means to be together. Why won’t you just accept it?” Sara let out a deep sigh, closing her eyes a little. She was hearing more and more words coming out of Wes’ mouth that she couldn’t believe. Did she fall in love with a stranger? She thought she knew his heart but why does it seem like there’s more to Wes than what she saw? What was he keeping from her?

“Do I not deserve to know? You know what, I don’t even care. Whatever business you have to fix, it’s not like I’m gonna get in your way. I’m not the girlfriend who would get in all of your business especially if it’s something too personal for you.” Her eyes went wide as he gave more information about his issues but still, nothing that could help her figure out what it was. “Mistakes?” She let out a scoff, not understanding much of it and clearly, Wes wasn’t going to give her much detail about it too since he doesn’t want her involved, as he’s repeatedly said already. “If you don’t want me around Wesley then just say it. I’m not some fragile girl who can’t take the heartbreak.” Sara walked out of the kitchen and then to their room. Looking for a bag, she figured she’d get her clothes and stuff already. She’s not gonna wait until Wes kicks her out.

Hearing what she said, his heart simultaneously sank and soared at the same time. He was her home, and all she wanted was to be with him. Right now, it was looking like he didn’t want that, which wasn’t true. But at the same time, he wondered if maybe that was best for her. As much as he cared for her, did she deserve better than him? And yet, what she said made his heart stop, and he wanted nothing more than to hug her and tell her that he felt the same, never leaving Lakeview. But it wasn’t realistic. He might have shown Sara that he had changed, but he a whole lot more people to convince.

“I won’t accept it because right now.. I’m not the guy that you deserve. I won’t accept you taking that risk until I know that I’m a man who has left his past behind completely. And I can’t do that until I make amends and prove to my family and the people who know me that I can be more than what they think of me. And don’t say that what other people think doesn’t matter, because it does. Because the future of the two of us... we can’t shut everyone out forever.” That made him think of the future of their relationship. How serious was she about him? He was even beginning to wonder how he felt about it too.

Especially when she called him by his full name, he knew that she meant business. “Sara-” But before he could stop her, she was walking to their bedroom. It then occurred to him that he thought of it as theirs and not just his. Following her, he wasn’t going down. Seeing her with a bag, his eyes went wide. “Sara, stop,” he told her, walking to her. “Do you honestly think that I want to be away from you?” he asked, his tone hurt and kind of annoyed. “Just the thought kills me. But I have to believe that it’ll be worth it.” Wes shook his head. After a pause, he continued. “I don’t want you to come right now because I don’t want you to be a part of my old life, the one that turned me into the person I’m not proud of. I don’t want you to hate me. I want to start fresh,” he tried to explain. “So.. what? You think we wouldn’t last the distance?” he asked.

[sarahartley]

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sarahartley:

“This is compromise. Why can’t you understand that—” She cut herself, shaking her head and figuring now is not the right time to insert another topic. This issue was here so that’s what they need to focus on first. Sara could not understand why Wes was so pissed about this. She thought he would be happy that they wouldn’t have a time bomb over their heads anymore. After summer, they’d still be together and in the city he calls home. It wouldn’t be a problem for Sara because she knew how she felt. Wes is her home and wherever he is, that is home to her. But then, he made a good point too. If she never had met Wes, she wouldn’t even think about going outside of town. But to Sara, this was a good thing because he made her see that she can be something greater outside of her comfort zone. 

“You made me see the world and now you’re keeping me away from it? You think I’m gonna be happy that I’m here and you’re there? Where does that even take us?” She didn’t want to look at him anymore because Sara knew she was going to cry. All of her efforts and plans were now useless because her own boyfriend does not even approve of it. When she finally found the courage, she turned to face him. “What is it that you have to take care that you don’t want me to see?” She asked, her voice growing before she realized something that she didn’t want to believe. Still, Sara had to ask. “You have a girl you need to get back to there? Summer’s over so I’m done. Is that it?” Every horrible reason is becoming present in her brain and she hates it but they’re already there so might as well address it. 

When she cut herself off, there was a long pause between the both of them. Wes looked down at their hands that were still together and his heart hardened. Finally looking back at her, he continued. “It won’t be if you make this decision,” he told her. There was a lot more at stake that she didn’t know about.

Wes sighed a little as she went on, knowing that she was sort of right about that, but he needed her to know how he saw things. “Sara, I’m not saying that this is a forever thing. I don’t want you to come to New York and end up hating it. I don’t want us to feel stuck anywhere... I don’t even know if I want to live there after.” He had done a lot of thinking, and he was trying to figure it out. “You always tell me that I’m a lot more than what my parents think of me. What if I want something more than New York?” he asked. He stopped himself, looking back at her. “And I know it’s about what you want too. I get that. I do. And I’m not saying that having your restaurant in the city would be a bad idea, because it’s not. But... we need to figure out what’s in both of our best interests.” He held her hand a little tighter. “It’s not gonna be easy, and I’m gonna miss you every day until I see you again,” he told her. “But I know we can do it.”

When she questioned him, he looked away for a little bit. “Don’t ask that, okay? It’s better that you don’t know. When I go back, I’ll take care of it, and it won’t even matter anymore,” he hoped. He didn’t want her in his mess. It was his and his alone. “They were my mistakes and I don’t want you getting involved.” It was for her own good. When she considered the fact that he had a girlfriend back in New York, he sighed, running a hand over his face quickly. “There’s no one else, not in New York. Not anywhere,” he assured her. He knew he had a reputation in the past, but he was never a cheater, and especially not when Sara was involved. “I’ve just got a lot of stuff that I need to take care of on my own. It’s not your burden to bear.”

[sarahartley]

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[blockbustermemories]

Hearing that it wasn't a done deal, he felt relieved. They could still fix this, even though Sara had made it clear this is what she wanted. Wes had a feeling already that they weren't going to just avoid it now. This was happening, and they had to decide if not tonight, then soon. Wes nodded, looking down at his lap. He knew that she could be successful in New York - that part she didn't doubt. But he didn't want her to have to carry his baggage. It was a lot to handle and he didn't want to get her involved."

What she said made his heart sink, feeling like an awful boyfriend. She was right. Most people would do anything to be together, and there he was, sacrificing precious time with her for a better future for the two of them. But he couldn't tell her his reasons. "Our situation, as in, two people who come from different places and need to make a compromise." It was her future and her decision. Still, he wished that she would consider how he felt. But of course, she wouldn't understand without knowing more. "But it all includes me too, doesn't it? I mean, come on, if you hadn't met me, would you still be moving to New York?""

When she put away her own drink, he downed his water, setting the glass on the table. Wes sighed and shook his head. "That's the thing, Sara. New York's a lot bigger than what you have here. And there's a lot than I have to take care of."

[sarahartley]

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | 14

[blockbustermemories]

sarahartley:

It was a conversation they have been trying to avoid ever since. Sara has brought it up a couple of times, Wes has too, but they both end up pushing it to the side as they didn’t want anything ruining their time together. They only have so much and if they dwell on the negative aspects of their relationship, they wouldn’t have much good ones to look back on. But Sara didn’t just want to look back on the memories this summer gave them, she wanted to look forward to spending fall with him, to celebrating his birthday during the winter season, maybe even have a vacation with him next spring and of course, come back to Lakeview for the summer as a couple. Before she could even have all of these, she needed something to back up her plan and this was it.

Clearly, Wes had a different tone than she expected and Sara was confused at first. Was he mad? When he questioned about talking to him about it first, Sara shook her head with a smile, still trying to be positive. “I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure. I wanted to have everything ready before telling you because I wanted to surprise you…because we can finally talk about what happens after summer, right? We’re still gonna be together.” Her voice was starting to shake as it was coming to her senses that Wes didn’t like her surprise. “I’m not making any decisions on a whim, Wes. I’ve planned about this since we got together. What’s the point of being together if we can’t actually…be together?” 

Wes took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He understood her wanting to come with him, but he didn’t want things to go out this way. When he first came to Lakeview at the beginning of the summer, he never intended on having something he’d need to leave behind. He never intended on getting attached, let alone getting a girlfriend. But with Sara, everything was unexpected. Wes just looked at her and tried to understand her mindset and why she would make the decision without asking him first, as it included him.

“Sure, but this is a big deal. I mean, have you already bought it? Is it a done deal?” he asked, really hoping that she told him no. “Sara, I don’t like surprises like this. Not with our situation.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He knew it would only be a matter of time before this happened and shit broke loose. “I knew you wanted this, but I didn’t think that you’d actually go for it behind my back.” Wes looked at her straight on, his eyes sad. “I’m not saying that we stay apart forever,” he stared, “I just think it’d be best for us to take care of business at home, and when we’re both ready, we’ll come to a decision together as to what we’re gonna do.” 

[sarahartley]

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | 14

[blockbustermemories]

sarahartley:

Thinking about it, Sara was feeling overwhelmed with the situation that she hasn’t imagined how New York would be. Sure, she’s been there a few times but as a tourist. She was sure it’d feel very different to be a resident next. She has Wes to help her adjust and fill her in on all the do’s and don’t’s but really, she would have to learn on her own once they get there. Either way, she was sure she’s excited and have laid down her plans official on the way home to him that night. Watching him eat the cupcake, Sara smiled, seeing how he was enjoying it. When his face showed confusion, Sara had butterflies in her stomach at the excitement that he really was clueless about what’s going to happen. She likes it when she surprises Wes in the most unexpected ways.

“Fair enough. As long as it’s in the same city, that’s better than being miles away.” She smiled and nodded at her, pressing her lips together as she prepared to tell him the news. “Well, it just closed about a week ago because the owners were an old couple who wished to retire already. And so, they sold the place for quite an expensive price but it’s good enough because the spot is very well known.” She explained, not sure if Wes is still clueless about what she’s saying but she’s just gonna get it out there. Sara reached for Wes’ hand and squeezed it. “Baby, I’m buying the place. I’ll move The First Gourmet there when we leave for New York. I’m getting the papers within the week so I can fill up forms and all, just in time for the third week of fall.” The smile on her face has been the biggest since meeting Wes and she was really excited for this.

Wes heard what she said and shrugged it off, not really sure what she had in mind. There was a lot on both of their minds lately and they had been avoiding it, so maybe she just wanted to know where everything was so she’d have piece of mind. But what did that specific street have to do with anything? She had never mentioned it before, and she wasn’t from New York so it wasn’t some street she had just passed by. 

She was even continuing on about the restaurant, and he was trying to piece things together. He continued to eat the cupcake, as it was too good to ignore. Wes nodded a little and drank his water. Swallowing, he gave her his full attention and wondered what she was planning with all of this. When she finally dropped the bomb, he froze. Sara was planning on coming to the city with him, something she knew he was against. It was the conversation they had been avoiding. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her there - there was just a lot he had to take care of first before he’d even feel safe having her there. But he couldn’t tell her the reason without feeling ashamed. But that wasn’t the main reason, anyway. Seeing her smile, he wanted to be able to tell her that he was overjoyed, but he couldn’t lie to her. “Seriously?” His voice was soft and honestly hurt. “Why wouldn’t you talk to me about this beforehand?” It sounded like it was already a done-deal. Setting down the cupcake, he lost his appetite. Wiping his hands, he then looked back at her. “This is a pretty big decision for you to be making on a whim.”

[sarahartley]

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | 14

[blockbustermemories]

sarahartley:

Sara had been planning about this ever since she  knew Wes was the one. Coming to that realization made her sacrifice things and decide on a lot of things she never even put to consideration before. And there was definitely a time that she thought it was impossible to make it in such short notice but thankfully, she never gave up. She never lost hope because she loves Wes and she knew it was real. Sara knew how well he has adjusted in town but still, it was a struggle being everyone’s center of attention in a bad way so if she can’t ask him to stay then, she’ll just turn things around and handle things in her own way. Even if Andrew wasn’t Wes’ best fan, he still allowed Sara to go to his place and sometimes, she would stay the night and just tell her dad the next day that she fell asleep. It was home to her anyway, Wes has become her home, and that’s why she wanted to proceed with her plan. 

Getting him a glass of water, Sara placed it down in front of him and opened the box of cupcakes. “That’s red velvet. I was just stress baking so I got whatever that was in front of me.” She told him, getting her cup of tea before sitting beside her boyfriend. “Okay…” She started, suddenly feeling nervous and excited in her stomach. Wes was going to love this and she was excited to see his reaction. “I wanna know first. How far is…Bedford Street from your place and your office in New York? Have you heard of The Little Owl restaurant?”

Wes wasn’t really sure what he would be doing once he got back to the city, but he intended on setting things straight. After meeting Sara and after she showed him what he could be, he wanted to fix things back at home. He was beginning to feel hopeful for the first time in his life and wasn’t so focused on the doom and gloom. He definitely had some ties back in New York that were on the darker side that he knew he’d have a hard time with, for sure. The city was complex and like a maze. As beautiful as it was, it could be suffocating and many of his problems were unavoidable. He knew he’d try his best to work things out for his own sake and for the sake of his family. But in that, where did Sara come in?

Thanking her for the water, he grinned a little as she opened the box. He wondered what she was stressing about but didn’t interrupt her since it seemed like she had something important to talk about. Wes reached for a cupcake and began eating one. They were amazing as always and he was quick to swallow his food. Hearing her question, he was a little confused at first but didn’t question her reasoning. He thought about it for a second, shrugging. “I don’t know, maybe a few streets over. I drove through there a lot. The office is in Lower Manhattan, though.” He hadn’t really paid attention to the restaurants that he drove by, too focused on weaving through traffic on his bike.

[sarahartley]

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | 14

[blockbustermemories]

sarahartley:

It had been a long day at work and while Sara appreciated Wes giving her space to get everything done at the restaurant, he was missing her man. She had been at the restaurant for 14 hours now and she needed to rest. A specific amount of rest she can only get when she’s all wrapped up in Wes’ embrace. But Sara didn’t want to go home with a heavy heart. Wes will be leaving in a few weeks and she wants to be ready with her plans before that. So, to lighten up her mood, Sara started baking. It’ll only be for an hour and just six red velvet cupcakes to bring home to Wes. Once she was cleaning up, her phone buzzed and she got an email, finally. Her face lit up as she started screaming in excitement and joy. Her co-workers panicked, thinking she was burned or something but when they saw she was holding her phone up, they were all relieved and went back to finish their cleaning before the restaurant closes for the night. 

This was very good news. After weeks of failing to find a good spot in New York, she finally received an email about a commercial space for sale. It’s not too big but she liked it small as she wanted to build the restaurant’s name in the city first. It’s going to be hard but it’s not impossible. That’s what’s keeping her hopeful. Plus, she’ll be with Wes so Sara knew she’d be happy. Grabbing her things and her cupcakes, she quickly drove back home — Wes’ apartment. Going up, she opened the door with the spare key she has and placed her things on the counter. “Wes! Baby, where are you?” She called out, checking the kitchen and the bathroom. Going to their bedroom, she saw him on the bed, chilling. All her worries and tiredness was gone. Cuddling up to her boyfriend, she was quick to give him a kiss on the lips. “Hi. I’m home.” She said first, sitting up again. “I baked you cupcakes. Come on. I also have some good news. Follow me to the kitchen?” She said, kissing him again before pulling the boy up. Going to the kitchen, Sara asked him to sit while he prepared something to wash the cupcakes down. “Coffee or tea?” She asked, making herself a cup of tea.

Wes laid in his bed, feeling pretty beat from work. He had been working in the city warehouse, putting his strong muscles to good use. It was a good job for him and it kept him busy, just like anything else. He had been going to any of the organization meetings Sara had set up to check in on upcoming events and to help prepare food to ship. Things had been so busy that sometimes he forgot that he would be leaving soon. His parents were expecting him back in the city in late August, and any time he would look at the calendar, it would hurt. He didn’t want to leave Sara, but he knew that he needed to go back. He had some unfinished business to take care of on his own and didn’t want her to get involved.

While he wasn’t Andrew’s favorite person, he at least was letting Sara visit him at his house. Having her there made him feel relaxed at home, even though New York was so far away. While it wasn’t exactly love at first sight with Lakeview, he had grown to like the place. It was homey and peaceful. But he wasn’t too sure about the people in it. What happened at Andrew’s party still haunted him, and he tried not to think about it too much. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard his girlfriend come in the front door. Sitting up, he gave her a kiss. “Hey, babe.” Hearing the word ‘cupcakes’, he perked up. While he was curious about the good news, that man loved her baking. Standing up, he followed her to the kitchen and sat down. “Water, please,” he asked her instead, not really wanting tea and he didn’t like coffee. Wes bit his lip, watching her. “So... what’s the news?” he asked, curious.

[blockbustermemories]

county fair || 13

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sarahartley:

What she said wasn’t that deep for her but to Wes, it did mean a lot. Sara wasn’t sure if he’s been anyone’s perfect guy before but that’s how she’s seeing things right now. He was not only the perfect guy but the right guy for her. “I’d ask you the same thing about me but I don’t want you to get all too emotional.” She teased, but then things turned around at her next response. It was like one of those moments where she’s just thinking about it and unexpectedly saying it out loud. His smirk wasn’t helping either so Sara pinched his nose lightly before giggling. “Stop it. Not in a rental car, okay? Not enough space.” She added, laughing a bit more, thankful that they were starting to have fun again as her fear was starting to lower down. As eager as she was right now, she definitely wanted to wait until they have a better spot to do it.

Sara felt a bit more at ease after their kiss, going back to their usual fun and calm night from earlier. As she waited for his response, she looked at him like he was her entire world, hoping his response would show her how he feels the same. New York, makes sense. Married, that’s good. Satisfied with job, perfect. A dog, awesome. Wait, that’s it? Furrowing her eyebrows, she thought about asking one thing that wasn’t similar to hers. “Kids?” She asked, giggling. But then, his confession of how talking about it was scary made her pause. Nope, she wasn’t going to ruin their night and freak out her boyfriend. “Okay, never mind.” She smiled, keeping her eyes open as they moved again. “Hmm. Well, I didn’t really have much favorites. I watched a lot of cartoons but mostly, I was outside, either campaigning for my dad or playing with kids.” Shrugging her shoulder, her thumb started playing with his hand. “Baby, I just wanna say… I’m really happy. You’re really bringing out the best in me. I mean, look at this. No one’s ever talked me into riding this before but I’ve had my eyes open for the past two minutes already. I’d say that’s an achievement.”

He rolled his eyes at what she said, laughing a little at her. She was probably right. He could go on and on about why he liked her. Sara was the light in his life, and his biggest supporter, even though he wasn’t sure that he really deserved it. Wes wasn’t sure what all of his feelings meant, but he was positive that she changed his life for the better and he was indebted to her. “Me? Emotional?” he joked, brushing off his softer-side with the rough and tough facade he put on. Only she got to see that side of him. Wes groaned, chuckling. “There’s just enough space,” he told her. Shaking his head, he agreed with her. “Okay, okay, fine.” 

Wes heard her question about kids and his heart raced. Was that something that she really wanted? He was starting to question their future together. If they made it that far, was that a deal-breaker for her? It made him think of how serious this relationship had become. He was glad that she didn’t push it, he didn’t want to ruin the mood by elaborating. Instead, he listened to her side of the story, hearing how she went through her life. It made him grin, just imagining her younger self, just as bubbly as ever. Wes smiled at her, glad that he could help. “Gotta start somewhere, right? Overcoming fear is a challenge but I’d say it’s pretty rewarding.” The ride spun around again and once it was time for them to get off, he walked her off, still holding her hand. “See? Safe and sound.” He checked his watch and noticed that they didn’t have much time left before he had to return her back home. “So? Anything else we should hit before we head back?”

[blockbustermemories]

county fair || 13

[blockbustermemories]

sarahartley:

All her life, she’s always kept safe and sometimes, she felt like it was being done the wrong way. Sure, it was the easiest way but she didn’t grow up with much experience as Wes did. And then this boyfriend of her came along, guiding her with the things she should experience but made sure she was always safe. Wes never left her side, even once and that to her was the best way to keep someone safe — letting them walk on their own but staying beside them to make sure they don’t fall and hurt themselves. She couldn’t be any luckier with the boyfriend she has right now. 

Sara had a feeling that she was just freaking Wes out in riding the ferris wheel with her constant ramblings. She felt bad because all he wanted was to enjoy the romantic ride with her girlfriend yet here she was, freaking out so much. As they got in the pod, Wes kept his arms around her for comfort as she tried to relax. With his suggestion, Sara nodded at him. His first question made her roll her eyes and laugh. “Could you be any more self-conceited?” She teased, letting out a sigh as she focused on his face. “I don’t…have a favorite. I just enjoy everything about you — the good and the bad. I feel like I have everything I want and need in a man in you.” She smiled, feeling calm with her answer as she remembered how she felt for Wes. The ride started to moved and Sara had to close her eyes and swallow hard. Thankfully, he gave another question. She kept her eyes closed as she felt the pod turning and suddenly blurted out her answer. “In yo… In your bed! I miss having sex with you!” It just came out of her mouth out of nowhere and she felt embarrassed when she finally said it, causing her to giggle and slowly open her eyes. She saw the moon and it was beautiful. But then, she saw his eyes and they were more beautiful. His kiss calmed her even more and Sara just kept going until she needed to breathe. Smiling, she cupped his face lightly. “Your eyes shine brighter than the moon. I don’t see the point of still going all the way up here.” She joked, trying to normalize her breathing as she looked around. It was getting easier to be up there with him by the minute. She figured she’d ask him a question too. “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”

Wes laughed when she poked fun at him. He was just glad that he could get her to laugh and get her to momentarily keep her mind off of what they were doing. And yet, he wasn’t expecting what came out of her mouth. His lips parted to speak but it took him a couple of seconds. “Wow... I wasn’t expecting something deep like that. But thank you,” he told her. It meant a lot to him for her to say that. It made him think of their future for a second but he knew he couldn’t get ahead of himself. That’s not what she meant. She was just answering the question. Sara came up with another unexpected response to his other question. His eyes went wide and he sat there frozen. “Damn,” he said, a smirk growing on his face. “I missed you too,” he told her. “If I had any reservations about having sex in the car before, those are gone now.” Wes had to agree with her, after going from being pretty active so not at all, there was a lot of tension between them that needed to be taken care of.

Feeling her calm down after their kiss, he grinned against her, glad that it was helping. After they broke, he stayed close to her. He rolled his eyes and laughed at what she said. Pecking her lips again, he then looked back out to the water. Hearing her question, it made him think. He wasn’t really sure, but he wanted to give her a hopeful answer. “Probably in New York. Married. Having a job that I’m happy with, hopefully. Maybe a dog.” He shrugged. Kids weren’t part of the equation for him and it hadn’t even crossed his mind. “Thinking about all of that is pretty scary,” he told her. Shrugging, he turned his head back towards her. Soon enough, the ride started moving again. “What was your favorite show as a kid?” he asked, curious to learn more about her childhood.

[blockbustermemories]

county fair || 13

[blockbustermemories]

sarahartley:

Clearly, Sara was overthinking this. A lot of things could happen but a lot of things could not, too. She was letting her fear get in the way of trying new things and having fun. Wes was doing a pretty good job at comforting her though so that was quite helping her. At this point, she was just starting to be speechless, nodding at him instead as they made their way to the line. When they got there, Wes was still trying to soothe her and she really appreciated it. Leaning to his arm, Sara wrapped her arms around him to relax. “Yeah, baby, don’t say that because I don’t want to hurt you and lose my boyfriend this soon.” There was this assurance in her head that it was going to be awful so making deals about hating the rides was not a good option.

Looking up at him, Sara shook his head. He wasn’t really forcing her. Sure, he was pushing her to try things but the decision is still on her. “No, no. I mean, I can do this. It’s just…a 10 minute ride. I’ll survive. I mean, I told my dad how I feel about you so… I can say I’ve faced worse.” She told her with a nervous smile, hoping to remove that fear away. Sara leaned up to kiss him on the lips and then exhaling loudly after to remove her shaking nerves. “I can do this. I can do this.” Locking their hands together, Sara figured if she led the way to the right, that’ll make her braver. Stepping up, they were assisted to get inside the ride, having one carrying pod to themselves. Once the door was locked, she knew there was no backing out anymore. “Holy shit. Okay. We’re doing this. We should talk. You know, to distract me and stuff.”

She was right. It was only a ten minute ride and everything would be fine. Glad that she didn’t feel forced, he felt a little better about bringing her on there. Never stepping away from her, he wanted her to feel as comfortable as she could and feel safe. He hoped that she felt safe with him in general, but in facing her fears, that’s when it was the most important. Regardless of him being her boyfriend, he wanted her to be safe and feel comfortable in her own skin. Helping her overcome her fears was something he really wanted to guide her through. While the ferris wheel wasn’t something he had originally had in mind, once she told him, he made it a point to help her. Any small victory would help for her.

As she gave herself a pep talk walking on the pod, he took a deep breath himself. Scooting up against her, he wrapped one arm over her shoulder and held her hand with the other. He nodded to her, figuring that it would help. “Okay,” he said, trying to figure something out. “We can continue with our question game,” he said with a little grin. Kissing her forehead, he gave her the first question. “What’s your favorite thing about me?” he said with a grin, hoping to get a laugh out of her. The ferris wheel began to slowly turn. He gently rubbed her shoulder to soothe her. “If you could go anywhere, right now, where would you go?” he asked another question.  The ride slowly turned, making them go up. He glanced over and saw the moon shining on the ocean. It looked so pretty from where they were. He stared, hoping that it didn't freak her out. The pod stopped moving, as they were loading more people at the bottom. This was when she would probably freak out that the ride was going to break and that they were going to fall. Distracting her, he kissed her, knowing that it calmed her down.

[blockbustermemories]

county fair || 13

[blockbustermemories]

sarahartley:

Sara knew Wes wasn’t going to let her go on that one. After getting bumped, it was only a matter of seconds before he chases after her. And so he did, to which Sara tried to drive away. Wes went to a speed that wasn’t really allowed, causing him to almost reach her that Sara started screaming and laughing at the same time. Thankfully, the power went off as their turn ended. Still laughing, Sara gave her hand to Wes as she got out of the car. “Oh, no. I’m pretty sure I beat you on that one. You ignited the fire, babe. I’m just gonna keep winning for the rest of the night.” She teased, walking out the rink hand and hand with him.

There were a lot of different games and activities to try at the fair and Sara made sure Wes got to try them all. She was glad that he was having a great time tonight, not only because they were together but because the fair gave them that experience. He won a couple of toys for her and she appreciated that even if she was old enough to sleep with stuffed toys already. Out of all the rides in the fair, Sara was dreading a big one the most. She hated Ferris wheel no matter how romantic it sounds. Momentarily, she forgot about it until Wes brought it up. He only mentioned her fear of heights but she already knew where that was going so quickly, she answered him before he could continue. “No.” Still, Wes tried to convince her. Sara was just shaking her head at him while giving him a terrified look. “I knew when you called me ‘baby’ you’re gonna talk me into going.” Letting out a sigh, she herself tried to internally convince her too, thinking it’s about time she tries something knew that would step out of her box. “Babe, what if it falls? What if we get stuck there? What if there’s an earthquake or alien attack or…” Okay, maybe she was exaggerating already but she was really scared, feeling her hand get cold as ice. Squeezing his hand, Sara closed her eyes and nodded at him. “Fine. But… Don’t expect me to open my eyes the entire time.”

He didn’t mean to scare her, but her expression was honestly sort of adorable. Putting his hands on her upper arms, he tried to make her feel better. Wes felt bad, not wanting to force her or anything - he just wanted to help her go outside of her comfort zone and to trust him. It was like she had read his mind before he had even finished, but letting him explain had done the trick. He raised his eyebrows and looked down at her, thinking she was being a little dramatic and over-thinking. “It’s not gonna fall. And I’m pretty sure there hasn’t been an alien invasion in I’d say... a few thousand years.” Reaching for her hands, he could feel just how nervous she was. “I’ll hold you the entire time. I won’t let anything happen to you. Promise.”

Holding her hand, they made their way to the line. Putting his arms around her, he tried to soothe her. “Just don’t overthink it too much, okay? If you end up hating it, feel free to slap me afterwards and never talk to me again for being such an awful boyfriend.” Putting her face in his hands, he gave her a little reassuring grin. “But ... please don’t feel like I’m forcing you. I don’t wanna make you do anything that you really don’t wanna do. Just tell me and we can go get some ice cream or something. We still have a few hours.” They were getting closer in line to the ferris wheel, and with every step they had taken, he could feel her nerves increasing.