Internet and Offline Meet n’ Greet Safety
In lieu of recent events, it seems like a good time to go over some basics of internet safety and proper meet n’ greet famous people conduct. I will preface absolutely everything with the statement: bad people doing bad things to naive people are not the fault of the latter. Being foolish or outright ignorant to the rules doesn’t mean that it is deserved. I’m making this statement because it needs to be clearly said, not to victim blame.
Also, there will be people who disagree with some or all of what I said. I don’t care, I said what I said because I truly believe it’s the truth. Only respectful discussions will be responded to, all else will be intentionally ignored.
cw: grooming, child sa, sa, stalking, harassment
To start the safety discussion it’s best to start at the most blatantly obvious, do not share personal information. This sounds like an obvious but a lot of people share too much information that they shouldn’t.
Things that should NOT be shared online
Medical health: mental and physical can be used against you or to track you in some ways.
Minors age: share only that you are a minor, do not share a specific age, I actually recommend just saying minor rather than any age specifically.
Real name: I hope I don’t have to tell you why this one is something you should keep private.
Home address: this can cause serious issues regarding stalking or other physical harm.
School name: like a home address this can lead to serious risks of stalking or other harm.
Personal photos: catch-22, even a harmless photo of oneself can be material for an abuser. Minors especially need to be mindful of who can see their likeness, because one does not know who is saving what where. Though with ai even current legal adults are becoming victims of cp/csam/csem.
Keep as much as you can private online and where you can. As an adult, safety first but you can loosen the rules a lot more. As a minor, these rules aren’t only to protect oneself but friends and family. Sharing too much information means that people can cause you harm or cause harm to those you care about.
Parents should be mindful about sharing information about their children, even if they believe only friends and family are following them or able to see the content. This includes newborn baby photos and even back to school.
I know I just said that ages should remain private, but if one is a minor, they should NOT ever say that they are another age—especially one of a consenting age (that varies per country but we are looking between 16 to 18 with social and legal rules for both.)
Lying about an age can do a lot of damage to reputation, trust, and even cause legal harm to the adults that are involved. Especially if sexual content was sent to and from the minor to an adult.
It’s important to also explain that adults have been charged with pedophilia for the issue of a minor lying about their age and claiming that they were older. Or even going to a bar where they drank alcohol before they could legally do so.
While I preface this heavily towards minors, adults shouldn't claim to be a minor in the same points that are listed above.
So unless suddenly everyone is in support of online id laws, this is not going to be easily solved.
Adult v Minor v Mixed Spaces
There are separations between spaces, like an amusement park. Some rides are meant for young children, some for teens, some for adults. Adults can ride a children’s ride in some cases, but they are to follow the rules in place that protects the children. Teens sometimes can ride an adult ride, but they may also be impacted by a height or some other restriction. Adults can ride the adult rides all they want, but some adults may not want to.
Online, this is no different. Spaces meant for children are clearly marked and labeled, some fandoms are made for children and adults are allowed when on their best behaviour. Some fandoms are reversed and the children need to respect adult spaces. To not abide to the rule will impact all those who do follow these rules.
I’m already tagging them, LADS—love and deep space—for example is an 18+ game, confirmed by the developers and can be found directly on the title screen. Minors have insulted and demanded an adult space to become a space for only minors. The space is not made for children, it never was intended for minors, and instead of trying to be the ones who are the main fandom, minors should let adults have their space. Especially since the said space is very sexual.
Some spaces claim to be made for minors, but are not. What in Hell is Bad has had that unfortunate experience with the “Origins” app and the “teen” app. The teen app wasn’t changed that much from the original despite the original game being a literal Hentai. The developers acted predatory for money reasons, and that monetary predatory practices is terribly sexual and not appropriate for a minor to play.
Despite being made for children, many cartoons—like Code Name Kids Next Door and Power Puff Girls—have had adults who make sexual or otherwise inappropriate content of the characters. With the way that social media works, that content isn’t always removed from a minor’s field of view.
Both sides invading the other’s space and acting inappropriately is only affecting the people who don’t want to be involved in any of that.
I could write a million pages for this section alone so let me shorten it to one sentence: Minors should not be engaging with or posting 18+ content.
Read my words carefully, I did not say that minors cannot read it nor did I say that they cannot create it. I would be a hypocrite pulling the ladder up behind me if I said that.
When it comes to mature content, obviously this is an adult space. Like I said in the previous section, this is where minors should be the ones mindful about their presence. To like, repost, or share content that is sexual in nature can be problematic for adults and lead to legal consequences at worst. I also know that MANY fandom adults will block on sight. So if one would like to continue to read smut/lemon/erotica fics, do what fandom adults all did prior to 2020 and just shut ones’ mouth and respect the others in the space.
This applies to adults and minors equally, nor is this related ONLY to Asian fanbases. Unfortunately, famous people have and will continue to act in sexual ways to fans, abusing the power that they have been given. Since it's also hard for the average person to sue or put them on trial for abuse, it makes it easy for them to be bad people.
Asking for/asked for contact information: never give it or ask for it.
Meet in private: Unless one can and will consent to sex, don’t go.
Minors, if anyone famous messages in a private message, asks for a form of contact off of a social media site, or asks to meet in private DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY PRIVATE CONTACT. Do not meet them in private. Do not do anything of this. Especially if it is known that famous person is an adult, there is nothing good that will come of private talks between a minor and an adult.
Many fans dream of meeting famous people, but it is not something to be jealous of if there are private contact or meet ups in private. Historically, with actors and musicians this just means that they have sex with a fan in a one night stand manner. It’s not a friendship or love, it’s a convenience to sleep with fans.
Meet n Greets with famous people takes place in front of an audience in some way, be it a tend with guards and staff ready to escort the line through or to just get a piece of merchandise signed in a long queue without getting to really talk to the famous person.
