I donât know, I think itâs extremely obvious which brother is more canonically âfem-codedâ (even if unintentionally) just by the way that theyâre perceived by their own demographic (cishet white men). Iâve noticed that they tend to idolize Dean way more, because heâs got an ultramasculine womanizing personality, likes cars and drinking, and fits into the protector role (when it comes to Sam) that they often fantasize about.
Him having a âfeminine/pretty boyâ face barely affects things beyond a few jokes made by primarily *women*. Sam on the other hand is constantly made the butt of the joke in a seemingly misogynistic/homophobic way, I would not go as far to say heâs a âvictim of misogynyâ but the way he is treated in the show AND by the fandom is a byproduct of societal misogyny.
The constant comments about his hair, the way he eats, how him being compared to women/called a woman is supposed to be âcomedicâ. Every single one of his actions are magnified and examined so that he can be punished/scrutinized for it.
It is also pretty much coded into the show from the beginning that Sam is the âpassiveâ one, it comes from Supernatural originally being a Gen-X power fantasy where the stoic macho man guides and influences the soft educated, one could even say âliberalâ younger man into a life of badassery and all-american roughness.
One thing I barely see mentioned is that this show was also watched by older, pro-military right-leaning audiences too, they dislike Sam for the same reasons that so-called âprogressiveâ spn fans do, except they think itâs because college is a gateway to progressivism, that itâs for softies who canât do REAL manly jobs. They think of him as a coward for running away from John, Dean, and the whole hunting lifestyle. The truth is that non-shippers (especially the dudebros) view Sam as the less masculine one, because itâs hammered into your brain from the very start. These types of people have no clue what the fuck an âomegaverseâ is, have zero idea on fandom history and would probably scoff in your face if you dare imply Dean is anything but a straight man. But theyâre more lenient on Sam when it comes to that type of thing, because he IS seen as the âemasculatedâ one of the pair.
The writers also knew this too, since nearly EVERY time Sam and Dean are paralleled to a couple, Dean is the man, Sam is the woman. âMallory to your Mickeyâ, âBonnie to your Clydeâ, Red Meat where Dean is Romeo and Sam is Juliet. They arenât dumb, this is why the Season 6 role reversal (where Sam was finally seen as the more âbadassâ one) felt so âwrongâ to people, because theyâre so used to Sam being feminized in canon. Weâre not merely âfetishizersâ or âass-pullingâ when itâs literal canon that pushes this narrative.