ponk

you're so bitter yellow

[bloodiedlemons]

intro --

c!ponk rp blog. i’m not dropsbyponk, nor am i trying to impersonate him. this is not a kinnie blog! though it is kinnie friendly i guess. the mod of this blog is a minor. icon by pondwatrr

tags --

#doc-in-the-box’s in : general ic tag, any ic posts will go under this

#citrus berries : the general ask tag! if anons tag themselves or its from a specific person, there will be two tags: #citrus berries and #citrus berry [person/emoji/ect]

#oocspeaks : any ooc posts will go under this

#sightings at the lemon tree : any art of ponk, or pictures that make me think of her. 

#controlling the burn : a tag for any upsetting topics, such as self-sabotage!

#[tw] tag - if there’s anything anyone wants tagged specifically, please send me an ask or message!

[sapituscanpvp]

sapnap, hey! hey. (@bloodiedlemons)

Ponk! Hey. What's up dude?

[bloodiedlemons]

oh, caves, hermits, hermit life. 

can i ask you a.. question!

[sapituscanpvp]

Hermit life sounds great at this point.

Yeah man shoot,I'm all ears

[bloodiedlemons]

hey, it’s, always open! there’s always a cave somewhere, and you can always make one!

how is. sam.

[sapituscanpvp]

Yeah I mean I guess that's right!

How is he? Uh...well I talked to him a little. He's kinda scary. But he..I dunno he gives good advice I guess? Asked him what to do about my fiances and he gave some solid tips.

Why? You okay?

[bloodiedlemons]

i’m okay! you know those conversations that, kinda get you down? but i’m okay.

did he! that’s, i guess he was a romantic, actually. how is he doing emotionally?

[sapituscanpvp]

Yeah dude I get that. Really well actually.

Hah-is he? Uhh I mean he seemed..tired? He didn't really talk about his own emotions with me. Kind of gave me advice and fuckin lectured me. But didn't talk too much about himself

[bloodiedlemons]

really?

he is, it’s. it was sweet, actually- anyway. tired. good, to know.

[sapituscanpvp]

sapnap, hey! hey. (@bloodiedlemons)

Ponk! Hey. What's up dude?

[bloodiedlemons]

oh, caves, hermits, hermit life. 

can i ask you a.. question!

[sapituscanpvp]

Hermit life sounds great at this point.

Yeah man shoot,I'm all ears

[bloodiedlemons]

hey, it’s, always open! there’s always a cave somewhere, and you can always make one!

how is. sam.

[sapituscanpvp]

Yeah I mean I guess that's right!

How is he? Uh...well I talked to him a little. He's kinda scary. But he..I dunno he gives good advice I guess? Asked him what to do about my fiances and he gave some solid tips.

Why? You okay?

[bloodiedlemons]

i’m okay! you know those conversations that, kinda get you down? but i’m okay.

did he! that’s, i guess he was a romantic, actually. how is he doing emotionally?

[sapituscanpvp]

sapnap, hey! hey. (@bloodiedlemons)

Ponk! Hey. What's up dude?

[bloodiedlemons]

oh, caves, hermits, hermit life. 

can i ask you a.. question!

[sapituscanpvp]

Hermit life sounds great at this point.

Yeah man shoot,I'm all ears

[bloodiedlemons]

hey, it’s, always open! there’s always a cave somewhere, and you can always make one!

how is. sam.

[sapituscanpvp]

sapnap, hey! hey. (@bloodiedlemons)

Ponk! Hey. What's up dude?

[bloodiedlemons]

oh, caves, hermits, hermit life. 

can i ask you a.. question!

[bloodiedlemons]

Ponk! Ponk it's- it's been a while since I've seen you, hello.

(-@gildedgasmask)

sam- sam. hi, yeah, i- i've been off! doing my own thing, looking around. hermit life.

[gildedgasmask]

I'm not sure what you want me to do, Ponk. I can't just.. Start regretting it. I love you, I do, but.. I can't change myself to make you happy. And I don't want you to change either, I already like you for who you are.

..I don't know how to make it better for you. I wish I did.

[bloodiedlemons]

“to make me happy-”

sam, the, problem is. you’re looking at this, like, a character flaw! like you don’t, wash your socks or you, want kids and i don’t, or you take hot showers and use up all the water. it’s not that! it’s not. it’s that, that you were sweet, and kind, and lovely, and then you changed. the prison changed you! it, warped you into this thing that watched me beg for mercy and didn’t, bat an eye! 

you can’t, i’m not expecting you, to. i just. i want you to stop acting like, nothings changed, and it’s fine. i wish it was fine! i really do, sam.

[gildedgasmask]

..The prison didn't change me. I just- I have to be strict, if I don't uphold the rules, then- Dream.. I- I'm not a thing, am I?

..I don't know how to do that. If I get caught up on things, then, something bad could happen. I have to just keep going. It's more efficient that way anyways.

[bloodiedlemons]

yes it did! yes it, did. it’s more than strict, sam, i’m not. i’m not stupid, alright? you didn’t do all of that entirely because of the keycards, you, wanted to teach everyone a lesson. here’s what happens when you take from the warden! i don’t know! are you?

then just. leave me alone. stop saying things like the beautiful comment, stop- it, i don’t like it.

[gildedgasmask]

I know you're not stupid, I just.. You weren't just some example, it's not as if I paraded around the fact that I hurt you, I- I'm not a thing. I'm.. Still a person. Just like anyone else.

..Alright. Just- before I forget, and just in case no one else remembers to tell you.

Dream's.. Dead. A ghost. Technoblade managed to get him out and Sapnap killed him, so. I'm.. Sorry I failed you, Ponk. I l-

I hope you have a good life after this. I'll try to leave you be.

[bloodiedlemons]

oh. huh! 

like i’ve said, when, karma hits you, sam. my arms are open. 

[gildedgasmask]

I thought you said to leave you alone?

[bloodiedlemons]

okay, sam, i’m- i’m really not good at putting it plainly! but i’ll try.

when you hurt. when everyone’s left you, and everyone says you’re fine, and you should be fine, and no one is there at all, you’re all broken and you’re no longer needed and no one cares. when you just, rebuild, and, rebuild but the land is so charred that you can’t plant anything more! when your karma comes, sam! 

i’ll be there.

until then, i can’t- until then, you’re just, going to hurt me. you don’t understand.

[bloodiedlemons]

Ponk! Ponk it's- it's been a while since I've seen you, hello.

(-@gildedgasmask)

sam- sam. hi, yeah, i- i've been off! doing my own thing, looking around. hermit life.

[gildedgasmask]

I'm not sure what you want me to do, Ponk. I can't just.. Start regretting it. I love you, I do, but.. I can't change myself to make you happy. And I don't want you to change either, I already like you for who you are.

..I don't know how to make it better for you. I wish I did.

[bloodiedlemons]

“to make me happy-”

sam, the, problem is. you’re looking at this, like, a character flaw! like you don’t, wash your socks or you, want kids and i don’t, or you take hot showers and use up all the water. it’s not that! it’s not. it’s that, that you were sweet, and kind, and lovely, and then you changed. the prison changed you! it, warped you into this thing that watched me beg for mercy and didn’t, bat an eye! 

you can’t, i’m not expecting you, to. i just. i want you to stop acting like, nothings changed, and it’s fine. i wish it was fine! i really do, sam.

[gildedgasmask]

..The prison didn't change me. I just- I have to be strict, if I don't uphold the rules, then- Dream.. I- I'm not a thing, am I?

..I don't know how to do that. If I get caught up on things, then, something bad could happen. I have to just keep going. It's more efficient that way anyways.

[bloodiedlemons]

yes it did! yes it, did. it’s more than strict, sam, i’m not. i’m not stupid, alright? you didn’t do all of that entirely because of the keycards, you, wanted to teach everyone a lesson. here’s what happens when you take from the warden! i don’t know! are you?

then just. leave me alone. stop saying things like the beautiful comment, stop- it, i don’t like it.

[gildedgasmask]

I know you're not stupid, I just.. You weren't just some example, it's not as if I paraded around the fact that I hurt you, I- I'm not a thing. I'm.. Still a person. Just like anyone else.

..Alright. Just- before I forget, and just in case no one else remembers to tell you.

Dream's.. Dead. A ghost. Technoblade managed to get him out and Sapnap killed him, so. I'm.. Sorry I failed you, Ponk. I l-

I hope you have a good life after this. I'll try to leave you be.

[bloodiedlemons]

oh. huh! 

like i’ve said, when, karma hits you, sam. my arms are open. 

[bloodiedlemons]

Ponk! Ponk it's- it's been a while since I've seen you, hello.

(-@gildedgasmask)

sam- sam. hi, yeah, i- i've been off! doing my own thing, looking around. hermit life.

[gildedgasmask]

I'm not sure what you want me to do, Ponk. I can't just.. Start regretting it. I love you, I do, but.. I can't change myself to make you happy. And I don't want you to change either, I already like you for who you are.

..I don't know how to make it better for you. I wish I did.

[bloodiedlemons]

“to make me happy-”

sam, the, problem is. you’re looking at this, like, a character flaw! like you don’t, wash your socks or you, want kids and i don’t, or you take hot showers and use up all the water. it’s not that! it’s not. it’s that, that you were sweet, and kind, and lovely, and then you changed. the prison changed you! it, warped you into this thing that watched me beg for mercy and didn’t, bat an eye! 

you can’t, i’m not expecting you, to. i just. i want you to stop acting like, nothings changed, and it’s fine. i wish it was fine! i really do, sam.

[gildedgasmask]

..The prison didn't change me. I just- I have to be strict, if I don't uphold the rules, then- Dream.. I- I'm not a thing, am I?

..I don't know how to do that. If I get caught up on things, then, something bad could happen. I have to just keep going. It's more efficient that way anyways.

[bloodiedlemons]

yes it did! yes it, did. it’s more than strict, sam, i’m not. i’m not stupid, alright? you didn’t do all of that entirely because of the keycards, you, wanted to teach everyone a lesson. here’s what happens when you take from the warden! i don’t know! are you?

then just. leave me alone. stop saying things like the beautiful comment, stop- it, i don’t like it.

[bloodiedlemons]

Ponk! Ponk it's- it's been a while since I've seen you, hello.

(-@gildedgasmask)

sam- sam. hi, yeah, i- i've been off! doing my own thing, looking around. hermit life.

[gildedgasmask]

I'm not sure what you want me to do, Ponk. I can't just.. Start regretting it. I love you, I do, but.. I can't change myself to make you happy. And I don't want you to change either, I already like you for who you are.

..I don't know how to make it better for you. I wish I did.

[bloodiedlemons]

“to make me happy-”

sam, the, problem is. you’re looking at this, like, a character flaw! like you don’t, wash your socks or you, want kids and i don’t, or you take hot showers and use up all the water. it’s not that! it’s not. it’s that, that you were sweet, and kind, and lovely, and then you changed. the prison changed you! it, warped you into this thing that watched me beg for mercy and didn’t, bat an eye! 

you can’t, i’m not expecting you, to. i just. i want you to stop acting like, nothings changed, and it’s fine. i wish it was fine! i really do, sam.

[bloodiedlemons]

Ponk! Ponk it's- it's been a while since I've seen you, hello.

(-@gildedgasmask)

sam- sam. hi, yeah, i- i've been off! doing my own thing, looking around. hermit life.

[gildedgasmask]

How is it a big deal? Clearly me- clearly Foolish and I don't see it as a big deal, so..

[bloodiedlemons]

sam, you- 

i loved you, and i, trusted you, and i know i did. i did bad things to you! i wasn’t a very good girlfriend, i know! but. 

i haven’t cut my, hair. in a little while. you know why, sam? 

[gildedgasmask]

..I wouldn't say you were a bad partner. I loved you too, really.

Why?

[bloodiedlemons]

because every time i grab, a pair of shears, sam, my head. goes all funny. i had foolish do it! and now, i can’t. 

it’s a big deal to me

[gildedgasmask]

..Oh.

I'm.. Sorry, then, about that.

[bloodiedlemons]

see, sam, i’d-

i’d appreciate that if it was true!

[gildedgasmask]

It is true, Ponk, I-

I'm not going to lie and say I regret it. But I am sorry that what I've done has made you unable to take care of yourself.

[bloodiedlemons]

but you’re not sorry you hurt me, and that’s, the- you can’t be sorry for the branches and not be sorry for the roots. it’s all the same. 

[gildedgasmask]

I'm not sorry for that, no. I'm not sure what you want from me, Ponk. I did what I had to, you knew the consequences and you went ahead anyways.

[bloodiedlemons]

no, you didn’t. 

you told me you would, kill me! and you did worse. 

[gildedgasmask]

I'm not sure what you expected from me.

[bloodiedlemons]

i expect, you not to say that it “isn’t a big deal”, sam! i should expect more! but i, don’t. and you can’t even give me that.

[gildedgasmask]

..I'm sorry I can't be the person you want me to be.

[bloodiedlemons]

wanted. 

[gildedgasmask]

I can't be the person you wanted me to be, then.

I just.. I had a job to fulfill. And with how you were acting, I- I couldn't risk Dream escaping. Not for anything. Not even you. It wasn't anything personal.

[bloodiedlemons]

that doesn’t make it any better!

[bloodiedlemons]

Ponk! Ponk it's- it's been a while since I've seen you, hello.

(-@gildedgasmask)

sam- sam. hi, yeah, i- i've been off! doing my own thing, looking around. hermit life.

[gildedgasmask]

How is it a big deal? Clearly me- clearly Foolish and I don't see it as a big deal, so..

[bloodiedlemons]

sam, you- 

i loved you, and i, trusted you, and i know i did. i did bad things to you! i wasn’t a very good girlfriend, i know! but. 

i haven’t cut my, hair. in a little while. you know why, sam? 

[gildedgasmask]

..I wouldn't say you were a bad partner. I loved you too, really.

Why?

[bloodiedlemons]

because every time i grab, a pair of shears, sam, my head. goes all funny. i had foolish do it! and now, i can’t. 

it’s a big deal to me

[gildedgasmask]

..Oh.

I'm.. Sorry, then, about that.

[bloodiedlemons]

see, sam, i’d-

i’d appreciate that if it was true!

[gildedgasmask]

It is true, Ponk, I-

I'm not going to lie and say I regret it. But I am sorry that what I've done has made you unable to take care of yourself.

[bloodiedlemons]

but you’re not sorry you hurt me, and that’s, the- you can’t be sorry for the branches and not be sorry for the roots. it’s all the same. 

[gildedgasmask]

I'm not sorry for that, no. I'm not sure what you want from me, Ponk. I did what I had to, you knew the consequences and you went ahead anyways.

[bloodiedlemons]

no, you didn’t. 

you told me you would, kill me! and you did worse. 

[gildedgasmask]

I'm not sure what you expected from me.

[bloodiedlemons]

i expect, you not to say that it “isn’t a big deal”, sam! i should expect more! but i, don’t. and you can’t even give me that.

[gildedgasmask]

..I'm sorry I can't be the person you want me to be.

[bloodiedlemons]

wanted. 

[bloodiedlemons]

Ponk! Ponk it's- it's been a while since I've seen you, hello.

(-@gildedgasmask)

sam- sam. hi, yeah, i- i've been off! doing my own thing, looking around. hermit life.

[gildedgasmask]

How is it a big deal? Clearly me- clearly Foolish and I don't see it as a big deal, so..

[bloodiedlemons]

sam, you- 

i loved you, and i, trusted you, and i know i did. i did bad things to you! i wasn’t a very good girlfriend, i know! but. 

i haven’t cut my, hair. in a little while. you know why, sam? 

[gildedgasmask]

..I wouldn't say you were a bad partner. I loved you too, really.

Why?

[bloodiedlemons]

because every time i grab, a pair of shears, sam, my head. goes all funny. i had foolish do it! and now, i can’t. 

it’s a big deal to me

[gildedgasmask]

..Oh.

I'm.. Sorry, then, about that.

[bloodiedlemons]

see, sam, i’d-

i’d appreciate that if it was true!

[gildedgasmask]

It is true, Ponk, I-

I'm not going to lie and say I regret it. But I am sorry that what I've done has made you unable to take care of yourself.

[bloodiedlemons]

but you’re not sorry you hurt me, and that’s, the- you can’t be sorry for the branches and not be sorry for the roots. it’s all the same. 

[gildedgasmask]

I'm not sorry for that, no. I'm not sure what you want from me, Ponk. I did what I had to, you knew the consequences and you went ahead anyways.

[bloodiedlemons]

no, you didn’t. 

you told me you would, kill me! and you did worse. 

[gildedgasmask]

I'm not sure what you expected from me.

[bloodiedlemons]

i expect, you not to say that it “isn’t a big deal”, sam! i should expect more! but i, don’t. and you can’t even give me that.

[bloodiedlemons]

Ponk! Ponk it's- it's been a while since I've seen you, hello.

(-@gildedgasmask)

sam- sam. hi, yeah, i- i've been off! doing my own thing, looking around. hermit life.

[gildedgasmask]

How is it a big deal? Clearly me- clearly Foolish and I don't see it as a big deal, so..

[bloodiedlemons]

sam, you- 

i loved you, and i, trusted you, and i know i did. i did bad things to you! i wasn’t a very good girlfriend, i know! but. 

i haven’t cut my, hair. in a little while. you know why, sam? 

[gildedgasmask]

..I wouldn't say you were a bad partner. I loved you too, really.

Why?

[bloodiedlemons]

because every time i grab, a pair of shears, sam, my head. goes all funny. i had foolish do it! and now, i can’t. 

it’s a big deal to me

[gildedgasmask]

..Oh.

I'm.. Sorry, then, about that.

[bloodiedlemons]

see, sam, i’d-

i’d appreciate that if it was true!

[gildedgasmask]

It is true, Ponk, I-

I'm not going to lie and say I regret it. But I am sorry that what I've done has made you unable to take care of yourself.

[bloodiedlemons]

but you’re not sorry you hurt me, and that’s, the- you can’t be sorry for the branches and not be sorry for the roots. it’s all the same. 

[gildedgasmask]

I'm not sorry for that, no. I'm not sure what you want from me, Ponk. I did what I had to, you knew the consequences and you went ahead anyways.

[bloodiedlemons]

no, you didn’t. 

you told me you would, kill me! and you did worse. 

[bloodiedlemons]

Ponk! Ponk it's- it's been a while since I've seen you, hello.

(-@gildedgasmask)

sam- sam. hi, yeah, i- i've been off! doing my own thing, looking around. hermit life.

[gildedgasmask]

How is it a big deal? Clearly me- clearly Foolish and I don't see it as a big deal, so..

[bloodiedlemons]

sam, you- 

i loved you, and i, trusted you, and i know i did. i did bad things to you! i wasn’t a very good girlfriend, i know! but. 

i haven’t cut my, hair. in a little while. you know why, sam? 

[gildedgasmask]

..I wouldn't say you were a bad partner. I loved you too, really.

Why?

[bloodiedlemons]

because every time i grab, a pair of shears, sam, my head. goes all funny. i had foolish do it! and now, i can’t. 

it’s a big deal to me

[gildedgasmask]

..Oh.

I'm.. Sorry, then, about that.

[bloodiedlemons]

see, sam, i’d-

i’d appreciate that if it was true!

[gildedgasmask]

It is true, Ponk, I-

I'm not going to lie and say I regret it. But I am sorry that what I've done has made you unable to take care of yourself.

[bloodiedlemons]

but you’re not sorry you hurt me, and that’s, the- you can’t be sorry for the branches and not be sorry for the roots. it’s all the same. 

[bloodiedlemons]

Ponk! Ponk it's- it's been a while since I've seen you, hello.

(-@gildedgasmask)

sam- sam. hi, yeah, i- i've been off! doing my own thing, looking around. hermit life.

[gildedgasmask]

How is it a big deal? Clearly me- clearly Foolish and I don't see it as a big deal, so..

[bloodiedlemons]

sam, you- 

i loved you, and i, trusted you, and i know i did. i did bad things to you! i wasn’t a very good girlfriend, i know! but. 

i haven’t cut my, hair. in a little while. you know why, sam? 

[gildedgasmask]

..I wouldn't say you were a bad partner. I loved you too, really.

Why?

[bloodiedlemons]

because every time i grab, a pair of shears, sam, my head. goes all funny. i had foolish do it! and now, i can’t. 

it’s a big deal to me

[gildedgasmask]

..Oh.

I'm.. Sorry, then, about that.

[bloodiedlemons]

see, sam, i’d-

i’d appreciate that if it was true!

[bloodiedlemons]

Ponk! Ponk it's- it's been a while since I've seen you, hello.

(-@gildedgasmask)

sam- sam. hi, yeah, i- i've been off! doing my own thing, looking around. hermit life.

[gildedgasmask]

How is it a big deal? Clearly me- clearly Foolish and I don't see it as a big deal, so..

[bloodiedlemons]

sam, you- 

i loved you, and i, trusted you, and i know i did. i did bad things to you! i wasn’t a very good girlfriend, i know! but. 

i haven’t cut my, hair. in a little while. you know why, sam? 

[gildedgasmask]

..I wouldn't say you were a bad partner. I loved you too, really.

Why?

[bloodiedlemons]

because every time i grab, a pair of shears, sam, my head. goes all funny. i had foolish do it! and now, i can’t. 

it’s a big deal to me

[smp-archivist-moved]

eret! i've decided to, to come out of... hobbitism, it wasn't going well for me, it really wasn't. and. i have something to- i'm sorry.

(@bloodiedlemons )

Ponk…? Oh my god, it’s been ages! I haven’t since…

Since… the banquet…

[bloodiedlemons]

i’m...

i didn’t want foolish to die, really? i didn’t want anyone to die, i didn’t, know. and then he died. and i’m a doctor, i guess, close enough, so it just. 

shocked me! out of it! to a point.

[smp-archivist-moved]

Well that’s good then. Hopefully no more killing from here on out, yeah?

[bloodiedlemons]

hopefully!

you know, i,

didn’t.. mean to. right? the egg, it’s not, i don’t know how much of a choice you get! you think you have one! and then, you look back, and you think ‘why did i do that? why did i think everything was, all fine? why couldn’t i stop and-’ 

i’m not going to kill anyone again, or, assist in killing anyone, again! i hope not.

[smp-archivist-moved]

Trust me ponk. I probably know that feeling a lot more than you think.

[bloodiedlemons]

sure! sure. yeah. i think you do to some point.

i can’t really, remember, entirely! but i know i did it. so i won’t, do it again. learning from past mistakes! 

[smp-archivist-moved]

That’s good… listen, Ponk?

[bloodiedlemons]

....yeah?

[smp-archivist-moved]

If you ever need to talk, about- about this? I’m here.

[bloodiedlemons]

that’s, a big offer! thank you, eret. for offering.

[smp-archivist-moved]

You’re welcome, Ponk.

[bloodiedlemons]

thank you, but i don’t think i can.

[smp-archivist-moved]

I understand. I just…

Don’t tear yourself apart over it. I don’t know if you have a history of it but. I just want to make sure.

[bloodiedlemons]

me? noo, i don’t think so! i think it’d, know, doctor things.

[smp-archivist-moved]

…are you sure you’re okay?

[bloodiedlemons]

i think, as far as the average okay of the server, goes, yes! 

[smp-archivist-moved]

….that’s good to know.

[bloodiedlemons]

are you?

[smp-archivist-moved]

…im as okay as what people need me to be.

[bloodiedlemons]

so no?