No one asks what you really are before grinding you into dirt — I taste like rancid blood. I taste like the earth set aflame.
— Kanika Lawton, from “On Political(ized) Life,” published in Poets Resist
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No one asks what you really are before grinding you into dirt — I taste like rancid blood. I taste like the earth set aflame.
— Kanika Lawton, from “On Political(ized) Life,” published in Poets Resist
𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝙂𝘼𝙇𝙀 𝙁𝙊𝙍𝘾𝙀 ( 𝙅𝙐𝙎𝙏 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀 𝘼 𝙃𝙐𝙍𝙍𝙄𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙀 ) 𝙒𝘼𝙎 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙏𝙃 𝙎𝙀𝙄𝙕𝙀𝘿 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙐𝙄𝙎𝙃𝙀𝘿 𝘾𝙃𝙀𝙎𝙏. solemnity within beloved colleague’s features was far from reassuring, presenting only the austerity that was synonymous with lack of jest. a tumult of emotion suddenly flooded every corner of lieutenant colonel’s mind: venomous anger, deep-rooted fear, confusion, regret and betrayal. for what was hidden far beneath the depths of a heart so guarded, was little more than a dismissal of years of pain: both long passed and yet to arrive. unbridled rage rose from expanded lungs, but was trapped at the tip of a tongue that bled relentlessly with words unspoken. digits curled around themselves, shaking with the intensity of every colliding feeling. arm drew back, braced to make the swing with every ounce of incited anger. scowl contorted lips before parting to let loose those words that held devastating truth. but stayed was that blow, restrained by what little rationality remained.
𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙐𝙇𝘿𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙏𝙐𝙍𝙉𝙀𝘿 𝘼𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝘼𝙉 𝘼𝘽𝙍𝙐𝙋𝙏 𝘾𝙇𝘼𝘾𝙆 𝙊𝙁 𝘽𝙊𝙊𝙏𝙎 𝘼𝙂𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙏 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝘾𝙍𝙀𝙏𝙀. panic filled violet, drained the color from features known for indecipherable stoicism. a secret that meant life or death was nearly exposed, brandished like heart upon soldier’s sleeve. the very notion of losing ( again ) that which was held so dear was more frightening than any monster that craved blood and death. nearly brought to bruised knees, the solitary crusade to atonement and recovery was still yet one that continued to wear down impenetrable walls that kept fragile soul out of vulnerability’s path. even as the weight of the world was unrelenting as it pushed this desperate form deeper into the ground, there was no other choice but to steel emotions and bury them so far away that their truth could never be sought.
‘ no. stop saying things like that. if anyone is going to come out of this alive, it’s you. it … has to be. now shut up and get some rest. it’s been a long day for both of us. ’
i failed to keep that promise before you even asked me. i’ve lost you once already, and i’ll die before i let that happen again.
unprompted . / @fauxphase .
your mother fucking life ends 30 minutes from now.
( believinghxpe / yoru . )
FUCK , DON’T LOOK AT ME. he can just feel his staring. he dreaded this meeting more than anything. after what…. happened , guren was the one person he wanted to avoid more than anyone else. yoru keeps his head down , afraid to turn around. he didn’t want to show him his ( tears. ) it felt so hard to breathe , to speak , to live. his words choke up just a tad , but he shoves his emotions down and tries to keep his composure. “ i told you , i’m fine. it’s nothing…. i - i’ll – ” fuck. “ …. i’ll come back to school. i was just… sick and tired during the past few days. ”
‘ uh huh ... you’re a really bad liar. ’ 𝙂𝘼𝙕𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝙑𝙀𝙍𝙏𝙀𝘿, 𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙑𝙊𝙆𝙀𝘿 𝘽𝙔 𝙈𝙊𝙐𝙉𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙀𝙉𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉. he recognized the break in yoru’s voice, yet chose not to address it. despite his vehement protests, guren did not budge from his position: did not move closer, but certainly did not shy away. an innate empathy ( blooming forcefully in a brittle chest ) immediately gripped at his heart, and though never claiming to be gifted with such sentiment, it lingered in his soul as a notion, an intuition that would never fade. ‘ i’m not stupid, you know. tell me or don’t, i don’t care, but i’m not leaving until you do. ’
( fauxphase / shinya . )
❛ i see , ❜ a pause , soiled palm hovering in place , stayed with phantom warmth . ❛ how clumsy , lieutenant colonel , & how foolish walking around carelessly . ❜ flippant manner , hiiragi pacing to a nearby cabinet —— in which is a basic medical kit , inadequate , yet his single option —— then returning to rest bloodied gloves on the others shoulder . yanking , he hooks his foot to guren’s ankle , sprawling them both on the office couch ( now tarnished , stain already forming ) & straddles hips , hand still secured on a broad shoulder to keep his patient pinned . shinya angles his torso , tutting any resistance , while his free hand digs in the box for wipes & disinfectant . ❛ sit pretty . you move , i dislocate your shoulder . want an extended stay in the infirmary———— with that nurse who hates your guts ? ❜
‘ what the f ————— !! ’ 𝙎𝙐𝘿𝘿𝙀𝙉 𝙈𝙊𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 𝘿𝙍𝙀𝙒 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙇𝙐𝙉𝙂𝙎 𝘼𝙉 𝙀𝙓𝘼𝘾𝙀𝙍𝘽𝘼𝙏𝙀𝘿 𝙔𝙀𝙇𝙋, 𝘼 𝙃𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙏𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙑𝙀𝙇𝙔 𝘾𝙐𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙊 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁𝘼𝘽𝙍𝙄𝘾 𝙒𝙃𝙄𝘾𝙃 𝘼𝘿𝙊𝙍𝙉𝙀𝘿 𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙔𝘼’𝙎 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙐𝙇𝘿𝙀𝙍. rapid fall ( courtesy of stolen balance ) was broken quickly by the lumpy sofa, and gratitude must at least have been given to the sniper’s sleight of hand. nonetheless lieutenant colonel’s disposition was immediately clear within the glower that set upon his face. suddenly his vision was enshrouded by shinya’s form, left guren cursing the position with which he had taken with him. never one for subtly, huh shinya. the hasty motion, however, sent his head into a spiral: violet eyes closed against nauseating sensation as shinya’s low threat was delivered with an underlying concern. ‘ and you want to be responsible for injuring a valuable officer the day before deployment ... ?? a little bit over the top, d - don’t you think ?? ’
@bloodsyn / guren ichinose - something for his birthday.
she was aware that he wished for little-to-no fuss regarding this particular day. and musashi had done so well to ensure that she remain calm, cool and collected as humanly possible ( though the temptation was there ). but she found herself at his office, a joyous and rhythmic knock ensued to indicate who was at the door. upon entry, hands rested behind upon the small of her back as the vibrant woman strolled in with an all too pleasant countenance adorned.
❝ now before you say anything, you should know by now that trying to tell me to not make a fuss of you, especially on such an occasion goes against my very nature. but even so, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so… ❞
hands brought around that presented a small and neatly tied pouch of sorts, closing the distance between one another as she offered her gift to him while her smile was maintained. thought, care and precision was taken into her present to the other, prompting that he may untie and open to see what musashi had prepared.
❝ My uncle taught me how to do these as a child, so I thought that I would craft a charm bracelet for you. There is a decorated talisman on it that is said to protect the person who wears it and bring luck to them. and I want you to stay safe.. ❞
she leaned closer, mere inches apart. pressing the soft flesh of her lips upon his cheek ever so briefly. it was a gesture that only she could bestow to another, knowing that in a world filled with tragedy and darkness - a little light and joy would certainly pose of no harm. eventually, she pulled away as a gentle flush crept upon pale cheeks; addressing him with typical softness in her voice.
❝ happy birthday, guren. ❞
𝙎𝙄𝙇𝙀𝙉𝘾𝙀 𝙎𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝙄𝙉 𝙐𝙉𝙀𝙓𝙋𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙀𝘿 𝙎𝙊𝙇𝙀𝙈𝙉𝙄𝙏𝙔, 𝘼𝙐𝘿𝙄𝙀𝙉𝘾𝙀 𝙂𝙍𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙀𝘿 𝙄𝙉 𝙄𝙂𝙉𝙊𝙍𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀 𝙏𝙊 𝘿𝘼𝙔’𝙎 𝙎𝙄𝙂𝙉𝙄𝙁𝙄𝘾𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀. through the quiet, an exchange was made: comfort in sharing like space and attuning to the other’s aura. each set of eyes paced aimlessly across their own pages, and reluctant distance maintained by soldiers’ obligation. the hands of the great clock upon the mantle continued to count the seconds that passed unceremoniously: a languid rhythm that provoked eyes to lift and dart toward the other in undefined intervals.
𝙇𝙐𝙓𝙐𝙍𝙄𝙊𝙐𝙎𝙇𝙔 𝘼𝘿𝙊𝙍𝙉𝙀𝘿 𝙁𝙀𝘼𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙍 𝙌𝙐𝙄𝙇𝙇 𝙒𝘼𝙎 𝙎𝙊𝙊𝙉 𝘿𝙀𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙄𝙏𝙀𝘿, 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙂𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙇𝙀 𝘾𝙃𝙄𝙈𝙀 𝙊𝙁 𝙈𝙀𝙏𝘼𝙇 𝘼𝙂𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙏 𝙄𝙉𝙆 𝙋𝙊𝙏 𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙏𝙍𝘼𝙉𝙌𝙐𝙄𝙇 𝙎𝙄𝙇𝙀𝙉𝘾𝙀. lieutenant colonel announced the completion of his work as he stood to take his leave ————— docile motions soon interrupted by the call of his name in tender tonality. gloved digits had since reached for the door knob, and was retracted and form turned to face his companion. curious violet eyes followed broad form as kureto approached, widening subtly as a small box was placed into his hand. lips parted to deliver puzzled inquisition, but kureto, ( always a step ahead ) offered his words in a similarly somber mannerism.
𝘼 𝙈𝙄𝙉𝘿 𝙁𝙇𝙊𝙊𝘿𝙀𝘿 𝙁𝙐𝙇𝙇 𝙊𝙁 𝙈𝙀𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎 𝙒𝘼𝙎 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙄𝙉 𝙋𝘼𝙄𝙉, 𝘽𝙐𝙏 𝙑𝙄𝙊𝙇𝙀𝙏 𝙂𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙈𝙀𝘿 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝘼 𝙉𝙊𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙇𝙂𝙄𝘾 𝙎𝙊𝙍𝙍𝙊𝙒 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙎𝘾𝙍𝙄𝙋𝙏𝙀𝘿 𝙍𝙀𝙈𝙀𝙈𝘽𝙍𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀. fond recollections of years that seemed to long forgotten, so far lost that reliving them seemed hopeless. gone now were those days that were spend in temporary joviality, ( like a recompense for the needless fear and submission that was demanded of them. ) a time when father and son could live as such. despite such loss, there was still memories to gain and cherish with equal sentiment: a revelation made as the box was carefully opened to reveal an elegant gift. cast in luminosity that befit a remnant of the ichinose bloodline ( crimson, as the lotus he was named for ————— violet, for the denotation of what reverence lingering within his eyes. ) a symbol of his lineage gifted to him by the only one who fought at his side to save it represented stories that couldn’t even hope to come to life by the spoken word.
i am an ichinose, born an ichinose, and i stand as an ichinose.
𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙉 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀 𝙋𝙍𝙄𝘿𝙀 𝙈𝘼𝙔 𝙎𝙃𝙐𝘿𝘿𝙀𝙍 𝘼𝙂𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙏 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙇𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏, 𝙄𝙏 𝙒𝘼𝙎 𝘼𝙇𝙇𝙊𝙒𝙀𝘿 𝙏𝙊 𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙈𝙈𝙀𝙍 𝙄𝙉 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘿𝘼𝙒𝙉’𝙎 𝘿𝙀𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙍𝘼𝙔𝙎. now a lotus was depicted upon the collar of his uniform: vibrant as the emotions that his heart held so dear. a sturdy nod of his head followed kureto’s words, and guren soon realized the colors of that flower would mean a lot more than his origin. the efforts and consolations of he who had stood at his side from the beginning would not soon be forgotten, and certainly not lost ————— as they were now bared to the light of day as a token worn proudly and graciously.
‘ you’re making it increasingly difficult for me to lose sight of who i am. thank you, truly. i can’t imagine a finer gift. ’
guren day 2019 . / accepting . / @demisurge .
‘ just ... keep performing your duties. there’s absolutely nothing different about today than any other. ’
oh i am just a bastard
*leans back in my chair and clasps my hands* i am just a bastard.
( fauxphase / shinya . )
❛ … are you trying to piss me off ? ❜ with a barrage of orders , what is typically left as banter between them———— neither good listeners . it’s a tell , redundant amidst the iron tang of air & wet sheen slicking black . remorseless , shinya delves digits into guren’s hair , tugging matted sections until a gash is revealed . breath stills , resumed by its shallowness . ❛ finally , you’ve had the bludgeoning you deserve . who was it ? ❜
@bloodsyn .
‘ eyyy ... that hurts, idiot ... a slab of concrete, actually ... ’ 𝘼𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙈𝙋𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙊 𝙀𝙑𝘼𝘿𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙐𝙂𝙃 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙍𝙊𝙂𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝘼 𝙌𝙐𝙄𝘾𝙆 𝙎𝙄𝘿𝙀 𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙋 𝙊𝙉𝙇𝙔 𝙍𝙀𝙑𝙀𝘼𝙇𝙀𝘿 𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙉𝙀𝙍’𝙎 𝙂𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 : 𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙀𝘿 𝘾𝙍𝙄𝙈𝙎𝙊𝙉. words offered in vague response deviated from complete truth ———— exaggerated grimace being the height of his honesty. ( thrown from staircase’s peak by vampire noble’s brutish grasp. )
Look, you who never asked for this: it’s the bearing that hurts. Not the losing. It’s the carrying on.
— Devin Kelly, from “My Mother, the Day She Knows the Ones Who Died in the Shooting,” published in Foundry
‘ fine ... ’
𝙂𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀𝘿 𝙃𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝘼𝙇𝙇𝙊𝙒𝙀𝘿 𝙎𝙇𝙀𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍 𝙒𝙍𝙄𝙎𝙏 𝙏𝙊 𝙁𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝙄𝙏𝙎 𝙏𝙍𝙀𝙈𝘽𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙂𝙍𝘼𝙎𝙋, 𝙅𝙐𝙎𝙏 𝘼𝙎 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙑𝙀𝘿 𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙀𝘿𝙀𝘿 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙍𝙀. the sturdiness in her tone was almost as sharp as a blade, whose tip edged closer and closer to his heart. how cowardly, to shy away from that pain by letting her go with no further protest. time and time again she had affirmed that this departure was not within his control, and yet regret would still linger, looming over his head like a sinister cloud.
‘ be safe then. ’
confrontation . / accepting . / @duellatore .
❝ quit getting in my face. ❞ >:///
‘ why don’t you try listening to me for once in your life then !? you’re gonna sit there and tell me to back off when i try to help you, immediately after you pull the same shit with me ?? i know a lot more about what’s going on than you think i do, so shut up and pay attention. i don’t care what you do in your free time, but when it starts to affect your performance at work, that’s when i care. don’t try and tell me that nothing’s changed, because it has, otherwise i wouldn’t bother having this conversation with you. now, before you go and get yourself killed, tell me what’s going on so i can help you. ’
confrontation . / accepting . / @mitojujoo .
i’ve been back on this blog for like an hour and i’m already being viciously attacked,
( mitojujoo / mito . )
@bloodsyn / guren ichinose - random starter JUST BECAUSE.
❝ So, about that day off. ❞
‘ yes ... ?? what about it ?? ’
Confrontation! Sentence Memes
You don’t think of anyone but yourself.
Admit it, you’re scared aren’t you?
You’re out of control!
I hardly ever recognize you anymore, you’ve changed.
You spend all your time locked up doing lord knows what!
Don’t sneak up on me like that.
I heard the commotion last night… it must of been a terrible dream.
Listen, about last night…
Here’s a tip, stop hiding behind excuses each time someone is worried about you.
Why are you alone most of the time?
Weren’t you friends with them?
Aren’t you tired of lying to yourself?
I should have known better… than to be fooled by you.
You’re pretty satisfied with serving on your knees most of the time, huh?
Quit getting in my face.
I’m warning you, get off my back.
I didn’t need your help.
What’s your problem with me?
You say you don’t recognize me, but you’re the one who’s changed.
When will you quit pretending to care? I’m tired of your lip service.
You can’t stand being next to me. Why is that?
Not everyone is going to leave you, but not everyone is going to stay.
You’re gonna get nothing but sass from me if you don’t change the topic.
How many have you killed?
What if they catch you?
This is dangerous…
I know you didn’t have the best relationship with your father/mother…
You’re tired of fighting, aren’t you?
What have you ever gotten out of this?
They’re using you.
I was only using you.
I’ve known your secret this entire time.
Do you really think no one will find out?
Someone is bound to see the true you and I’ll be there for your reckoning.
You only push me away. Let me help.
Are you suggesting we commit treason?
Don’t fool yourself, you’re just as loathsome as I am.
Stop. I won’t have these unnecessary misgivings. Focus on your task.
Your skepticism is easy to read. What is it that you’re doubting?
In the end, we’ve only gotten more pain. I’m sick of this.
You’re going to run away?
We’re escaping. Tonight.
Make no mistake, we’re not friends.
You’re low. Lower than scum.
I’m only helping you this once.
Be a little more grateful about my help, you would of been a goner.
You can’t do this alone, let me go with you.
You keep can’t doing this yourself, let me intervene I’m sure we can resolve this.
You keep being singled out, it isn’t fair.
Quit mothering me, I said I’ve got this under control.
Maybe you should stop worrying about me and look at yourself first.
Help me? You could hardly help yourself.
Of course making friends would be easy for you, you’re eager to please.
You really are an emotionless robot.
How can you brush me off, if you’ve never even given me a chance?
Don’t touch me.
Get out.
Get away from them!
Watch out!
You’re in danger.
Your loved one is in danger.
If you won’t do it, I’m sure your friend wouldn’t mind being in your place.
Please. Talk to me.
Don’t you ever say that again.
Don’t pretend we’re friends.
It was easy for your friends to abandon you.
Shut up!
Let go of me.
Tell them how you really feel.
You’re not fooling anyone with your haughty display of strength.
Offended? I’m surprised. I thought you were hollow and unfeeling.
Tell me where it is.
You said you’d never lie to me.
There’s nothing wrong in doing what is absolutely necessary. The ends justify the means.
You obey order without question, you’re just a docile dog aren’t you?
Maybe if you stopped being such an ice queen people would enjoy being around you.
You scorn others around you but you’ve never once stopped to open your eyes.
( duellatore / musashi . )
❝ where have you been !! ❞ she’s one step away from tackling him to the ground.
‘ oh, y’know ... out and about, here and there, to and fro, hither and thither. heh ... did you miss me ?? ’