Hi guys!!!! Soo this is my master list, it will be updated as I write more fanfics in the future.
A little more about me, I suppose: unlabeled and confused about my gender! Use he/they/it! I enjoy gory movies or movies with actors I like in them, :3. You can refer to me as Kaden! I love writing, one of my favorite hobbies, but it takes me a while to have any motivation, so keep that in mind!
Most of my fics will be about men, and in a gender neutral fashion unless Iām requested specifically male reader or female reader!
My CAI
My JAI
My bot requests
Will not change = ā ļø. May change = ŹÉ
I will not write fics that include:
Any bodily fluids that arenāt spit, cum or blood. ā ļø
Age gaps that include one party being under the age of 18 and another party being over the age of 18. ā ļø
Fics that involve childbirth. ā ļø
Incest. ā ļø
Threesomes or any smut that includes more than 2 people. ŹÉ
A/N: I got kinda lazy/unmotivated throughout this but I still tried really hard for my first fic back and I skipped D, I and W
A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
Julian had never been a loving and sentimental person. He finds it hard to even say āI love youā despite you being the most important person in his life besides his mother.
Most of the time heāll just lay next to you, let you cuddle into him and occasionally kiss your forehead.
If he has to do something after, heāll start you a bath and order you some food of your choice because he just hates leaving you with nothing after you made him feel so good.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs
and also their partner's)
He likes his hands; he doesnāt know what he would do without them. Theyāre arguably the most important part to his business because without them he wouldnāt be able to code and work. He supposes he also likes them because they allow him to play with your hair, hold your hand and etc.
Julian loves your eyes. He could stare into them for the rest of his life, he loves how much your pupils dilate when you look at him and the color of your irises are just so gorgeous to him.
Your thighs are also one of the most perfect things that whatever god has ever created. He always keeps a hand on one of them when youāre near him. The thicker the better in his opinion. Btw he really loves just burying his face into them until he starts getting light headed. (he also loves thigh jobs)
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Always inside, he doesnāt wanna have to clean it up afterwards. He definitely still does it if you can get pregnant; he doesnāt want to be a dad yet but thatās not the point. He can buy you any kind of birth control if you need it so pregnancy isnāt a worry.
Butttttttt if you give him a blowjob, he loves cumming on your face. Watching it splatter everywhere makes him hard again. Any other type of ājobā, he likes when you lick it up afterwards.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty
secret of theirs)
N/A
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do
they know what they're doing?)
Heās had his fair share of girlfriends, heās rich, of course he has. He knows what heās doing but heās only really experienced in the vanilla stuff, none of his exes ever wanted to do much. Thatās why he loves you so much!
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Legs up on his shoulders, gives him the perfect angle to push his whole length into you at a sickening slow pace.
He does also like back shots, kinda the same reasoning but it gives him better access to watching your ass giggle and spanking/groping it.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment?
are they humorous? etc.)
Heās extremely serious in the moment. He wonāt crack a joke by himself but if you say something funny heāll definitely stop mid thrust to chuckle at your joke.
He cracked a joke once and he felt like it ruined the entire moment so he leaves it up to you to be the comedian.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the
carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Itās a little darker than his hair, like a shade darker. Itās definitely curly and well maintained.
Julianās just an all together guy anyways, he doesnāt like going full bare but he hates having a bush. Just enough to make him feel like a man and not a pre-pubescent boy who got his hands on his first razor.
| = Intimacy (how are they during the moment?
the romantic aspect)
N/A
J= Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He finds himself too busy to masturbate most days. Heās also never really hard unless youāre there and why would he jerk off if he has you to help him out?
When he was single he definitely did jerk it a bit more, he would typically do it after work to relieve some stress but it was more about that then cumming for him.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
semi public sex - he likes the risk of you guys getting caught but not really. He likes doing it in a secluded place that is also easily accessible if that makes sense, like his office or any other room in the building. Itās not like any of the workers would say anything.
spanking - he loves spanking you. Not even in a sadistic way, he just loves the noises you make and the way your ass moves when his hand makes contact with it.
daddy/sir kink - sir more than daddy but he really enjoys when you call him either. He likes feeling like he has power over you most times, it also just sounds really good when you start begging out āsirā or ādaddyā.
L= Location (favorite places to do the do)
Your bed, itās a lot comfier than his. Heāll always insist on making it back to your place before even starting to get closer to each-other, he pops a boner incredibly quick around you and he really doesnāt want to be stuck in public like that. He also doesnāt want his mother to hear the two of you, thatās the main reason he avoids his place.
Heāll never admit it out loud but he loves having sex in his office, itās so risky and thatās just what he needs for his normally bland life. He loves when you ride him in his chair or if you let him fuck you against the glass wall that sits behind his desk.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them
going)
He likes when you wear shorts/skirts. This guy just really likes your ass, heās able to control himself for the most part. Heāll grab a handful of ass when he can but wonāt start like foaming at the mouth but if you even remotely bend over anywhere near him. Heās done for and he needs to have his cock buried inside you within the next four seconds.
N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)
He would never get a third involved, youāre his and heās very adamant about that. He also hasnāt really been attracted to anyone else since dating you, even if you were into the idea. He wouldnāt know who to even pick, especially if you start asking those TikTok questions about who you would pick to have sex with. (Ykwim)
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill,
etc.)
He eats pussy like itās his last meal on death row. He can be sloppy or proper. Itās all up to what you want. He himself prefers sloppy. He loves when your juice coats his face and his chin, he loves the taste of it. Doesnāt matter if it tastes like pineapple or an exposed organ. He loves it.
Does also love getting his dick sucked and he does like it sloppy aswell. Heāll thread his hand through your hair and shove you down until youāre genuinely making his length drip.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and
sensual? etc.)
Heās slow but rough. He doesnāt love his hips very fast but he really shoves himself in there when he decides to trust. He doesnāt prefer fast paced sex, if he really needs to release tension heāll just try and go deeper and deeper inside you.
The one time he tried to go faster, he ended up cramping extremely bad in his hip so he really doesnāt want to be dealing with that again. Heās like an old man and gets injured pretty quickly.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how
often, etc.)
He likes quickies in his office if itās really the only choice but he never prefers them. He likes having his time with you, sex also tires him out so itās kind of annoying that heāll be tired the rest of the day.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they
take risks? etc.)
The most risk heāll take is fucking you in his office. He doesnāt want to do anything that would hurt his reputation or possibly get you caught by his mother.
Getting caught by one of his workers or something is a situation he doesnāt really care about. He knows they wonāt say anything because he literally pays them to stay silent.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for?
how long do they last?)
About 4 rounds if you really got to him. Small like two minute breaks in between each time and heāll usually last about three minutes before cumming.
If itās just a āregularā boner or later in the night, he can go for two round but last for the same time. Heās gotten really good at controlling him so he doesnāt bust in a few seconds within being inside of you.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on
a partner or themselves?)
He doesnāt own any toys and he also doesnāt like using toys on himself but he doesnāt necessarily have an issue with you owning anything.
Heāll scoff or make a snarky comment if he sees or you mention one of your toys but he really doesnāt care. He does like your vibrator though. He likes using it on you to tease and be an asshole if you piss him off or if heās feeling silly, he also kinda likes it if you use it on him but heāll never go out of his way to use it himself.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He doesnāt really like teasing; every time you guys fuck, he just really wants to get his dick inside you and doesnāt want to waste time.
Instead of teasing, heāll do more like a lot of overstimulation because he just keeps going constantly.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they
make, etc.)
Julianās not super loud, he groans a lot but itās never super loud. Itās deep and breathy, heās able to keep his voice down to avoid getting caught if you ever so happen to do it at his house or his office.
If itās a more secluded setting, heāll be a bit louder with his groans. His groans will echo off the walls if you get him just right.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the
character)
N/A
X= X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)
5 and a half inches soft and around 6 inches hard. Heās packing a good amount for the skinny white boy he is.
I like to imagine heās not circumcised š¤¤. He doesnāt really care to get it done regardless, itās never bugged him before and he keeps it clean.
Is it weird if I say his balls are big? It better not be because thatās what I think, since he doesnāt have sex often. He doesnāt cum often so therefore itās kinda just big, ya know.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Not extremely high, heās a busy man. A lot of the time he doesnāt really even think about sex. Itās not like he doesnāt ever wanna have sex, he loves how you make him feel.
His drive does get a little higher if heās around you for two hours without anything else. Heās used to being a multi tasker, his brain canāt really focus on one thing unless itās you, and when heās only focused on you. Heās mainly thinking with his dick.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Heās out like a light most times, if heās not busy afterwards obviously. Sometimes itāll take him around an hour but most of the time it only takes him 20 minutes to pass out.
Could you write something with Wilbur robinson? āØļøššāØļø
Wilbur Robinson Blabz!!
Divider by @/sperocordolium
Wilbur is canonically a minor!!! This fic will not contain anything other than kissing!!! This is also a little bit shorter cause Iām high and sleepy :3
x gender neutral reader!! ā¬ļø
Wilbur definitely takes you back in time, even if his father bans him from even being in the same room as his time machines, Wilbur still has to impress you! Whatās getting in a little trouble gonna do to him?
Heāll take you to watch a drive in movie or sneak into some arcade from the 80s, heād take you right back to tomorrow if you wanted.
He hides behind his whole tough guy act when you guys are around his family or in public at any point, heāll make sarcastic and annoying comments towards anything you say but the moment you two end up alone, heās just a little guy, heāll beg you to plan with his hair or just talk about whateverās bugging him that day (he gossips more than you do sometimes)
Wilbur also likes it when you do his makeup, itās not really the āit makes him prettyā, he just likes how the brushes feel against his skin, it makes him giggle and it keeps you happy.
Heās not a very communicative person, if somethingās wrong with him, he has a hard time telling you whatās bugging him, he normally closes off or just tries to fix the conversation onto you and your needs.
Itās either someone huge or super small that bugs him, Wilburās a very jealous person, he hates when you even try and talk to other guys, he doesnāt stop you but he definitely whines to you when you two end up away from the guy.
Heās the worst kisser ever, he goes in for a kiss with eyes wide open and his lips pushed out far past his nose, itās honestly scary sometimes if you just open your eyes and Wilburās staring back at you, it ruins the whole moment of trying to kiss.
Heās a gift giver, most of the times itās just little things he makes or some fun inventions his dad been working on, sometimes his gifts are just from Carl and he calls it a day.
Can you do a smut where kai anderson is mad at reader for failing a cult task and so he decides to give her a good punishment in bed through spanking so she never fails the mission again?
Fucking count
Divider by @/enchanthings
This PROOFREAD fic includes: slight mentions of necrophilia/spanking/gunplay/mentions of death/kai calling himself daddy once
Kaiās gun was shoved against your temple, it was cold when he first held it there but now it was just a warm feeling of metal that seemed to be forgotten, it wasnāt even loaded right? Maybe it was or maybe it wasnāt, Kai didnāt care if it went off or not, itās not like you did something to not deserve a bullet in the skull
Your thoughts were quick, thinking about all the other outcomes you could have taken to avoid this route, Kai was easy to piss off, you knew that and you still played with him like he was some dumb fucking child.
His hand connect with your ass once again, harsher than the last maybe twenty have been, your mouth opened, still confused on if you should moan or cry again but he only got angrier when you cried, you were useless to him sometimes, just a slutty upgrade from having to fuck his hand at night.
āI fucking told you to count, slut,ā
He was pissed, his hand gripped your ass tightly, his nails indenting little crescents shapes into your ass.
Your apology was weak to him, you sounded like a mouse and he was the snake, he smacked you again, harder, it almost felt like it was something other than his hand but it wasnāt. You could feel the calluses on his palm rubbing against your skin every few seconds.
āFucking count before I blow your useless fucking brains onto a wall,ā
The gun moved from your temple to your cheek, the barrel being shoved deeply into your cheek that you could feel it against your teeth.
You groaned out a one, barely being able to speak with the weird position your mouth was push into.
He seemed appeased at your counting, he still wasnāt happy with you, not even close to it, but you obeyed his instructions so he had to give you a little bit of respect.
His hand kneaded the flesh of your ass, his thumb gently rubbing at the mark he had left on your skin, his colder hand felt like heaven on the burning red marks but you knew he wasnāt done, he wasnāt going to be done till you lost your voice with all your screaming and counting.
The gun moved away from your face, Kai pulled it away from you, he seemed happy, well not happy but pleased with you, until he slapped you again, harder this time, it almost knocked the wind out of you yet you were still able to let out a two, the gun moved to the back of your head and he tugged you closer to him, ass pressing right against his hard dick.
āYouāre gonna take it like a good slut right? Yeah you are, daddyās gonna put a pretty little bullet in your skull if donāt,ā
Kai said, his voice raising into a fake accent of happiness. He didnāt care if you were dead or alive, he could find someone more obedient than you in a second, but no oneās pussy pleased him as much as yours could.
okay...picture it...Peter and reader getting high and listening to pink Floyd, completely calm and memorized by eachother and they kiss(maybe other shit too)
Divider by @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more
This is written in bullet points!!!
This PROOFREAD fic includes: smoking the devil's lettuce and that's all!!!!
im sorry this took me so long to writeā¦.
Peter had originally invited you over to play this new video game that had just come out. He was way too excited to remember that he just had a whole blunt ready for whenever he wanted which is important for later.
He had spent about an hour trying to make his room at least a little bit more presentable, but honestly, Peter couldn't clean for the life of him, so all he really did was throw dishes in the sink and toss his clothes into the closet, and he knew you didn't care about the mess.
When you finally did arrive, the whole plan of playing video games and snacking was ruined the moment Peter brought up just having a rolled-up ready-to-go blunt, and who in their right mind wouldn't accept a basically free blunt!!
The video game had been long forgotten on the pause screen and the music playing over the screen had been quickly overshadowed by the Pink Floyd record spinning in the corner.
You became the more talkative one while Peter completely mellowed out, it was strange for the first few minutes but then you just enjoyed being able to talk to him without him interrupting you every five seconds with some stupid question.
Your voice was soft like it always was and Peter was completely mesmerized by it, more than usual. He loved it when you talked, you always spoke way slower than he did but you never lost his attention, Peter's brain was basically altered in your favor, he could listen to you talk for hours but when anyone else spoke, he could barely even act like he cared let alone genuinely care.
He spent the next few minutes scooting closer to you, trying to just feel your presence and nearly pressing into you every few seconds.Ā Ā It felt like a dream when you finally realized how close he had gotten when you were too occupied with telling some story.
Your eyes locked with his and it almost felt like fate, you never noticed how adorable Peter actually was, it was almost like the weed was helping you recognize everything that had been stuck on for the past few months of knowing Peter and being his friend.
Soon, it was just Syd Barret's voice echoing out from the record player, you and Peter were barely a foot apart from each other, first, he moved closer, then you moved closer, then he pushed the two of you together, and the tip of his nose pushing against yours before he giggled, his head slightly tilting to the side as to almost ask you if he could move closer.
When you nodded, he took it as an invitation, pushing closer until his lips met with yours, the taste of weed slightly lingered on his tongue, it would've bothered you but the two of you were already too far gone.
His mind is racing while he kisses you, fuck he's so happy he invited you over.
peter maximoff as a mean dom? stuffing you with his cum until you cry?
This PROOFREAD fic includes: Creampies, very small praise/degradation, rough sex, no written aftercare, a short fic, GN! reader, reader does start crying.
divider by @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more
You were still wondering how you got here, Peter fucking into you at relentless speeds as his fingers worked elsewhere. He had already filled you with at least three of his loads and was working on filling you with the fourth. He could always go fast, even if he was subbing but this time, it was a whole new type of speed. His hips slapping against the fat of your ass faster than you could even breathe.
"You're doin' so good for me doll," Peter huffed out into your ear, then moving down to place kisses around your earlobe and eventually down your neck. "You can take it, just keep takin' my load like the good whore you are," His hips almost seemed to speed up when you tried to tug away. Prompting Peter to grasp onto your hips and pull you further onto his cock, even when you were situated back on his cock, he kept his grasp firm above your hip.
His fourth load hit you like a truck, the cum overfilling your tight hole, the feeling of your own orgasms, and his tight seed dripping down your thighs was one of the only feelings you could focus on. You hoped that he would've run out of stamina by now but he didn't, he had a good 'nother three rounds in him, and he had put off his own needs for too long so you knew he wouldn't stop until he physically had to.
Peter had pushed your face back into the mattress underneath the two of you, keeping it up enough so you could breathe and he could still hear your sweet and beautiful noises that had now been paired with the noise of your crying. He couldn't help but find it adorable, the noises only fueled how fast he was going.
He had only started slowing down when he felt another one of your orgasms flood over your body, well, he actually felt your legs start to shake more than they had previously. Taking his thrusts slower which gave you more time to breathe between each thrust, waiting for his fifth orgasm that eventually ended in shooting blanks.
The speedster pulled out gently, letting his limp cock rest near your entrance before moving his hands away from shoving you into the mattress. Helping you roll over and looking down at you happily, he couldn't be mean to you any longer.
"I want a Twinkie, do you want a Twinkie? I'm gonna go get us some Twinkies," and with that, he just sped off, dick out and all.
Can you do Tate Langdon jealousy sex? Like someone came over and they were being flirty??
The only friend youāll ever need.
Divider by @/enchanthings
i am back šš but i am still rusty so be nice to me.
this fic IS proofread!!!!! This fic includes Tate thinking about murder, Tate is in fact dead in this, very small amounts of dialouge, uhhhh sex, ass slapping, no aftercare, and a very lazy ending :(.
Tate watched as that stupid guy friend of yours finally left, he had to resist the urge to just snap that guy's neck when he was leaving your room, it wouldn't matter either way because Tate would never let him in the house ever again, over his living body would you ever speak to him again. He didn't understand how you were so oblivious to the guy's flirting, his hand would slide over your thigh a little too close to your crotch, or the way he would deepen his voice just to answer a simple question. Tate saw through the whole act, that he wasn't just trying to impress you, he was trying to get into your pants.
Tate stood in your doorframe, watching as you brushed out your hair and focused on the small amount of essay you had left to write, putting down the brush and replacing its empty spot in your hands with the pencil so you could jot down the ideas that had came to your head. He stood there for a few seconds longer without you noticing before taking a few steps closer, his feet made no noise against the creaky floorboards, ones that would alert you of anyone's presence if they weren't in fact dead and weightless like Tate was.
You felt his cold and slender fingers drag along your shoulders first, not staying there for long before moving up to play with your hair, twirling the soft strands around his fingers before pulling his hand away with a sigh, his eyes meeting yours in the vanity's mirror. The same cold and lifeless look he always had, yet, it had a slight hint of anger that you could pick up on. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly, waiting a second to speak to see if you could find out what was angering him this time before saying anything.
"What...?" You asked in a confused tone, turning around in your seat to face Tate. His eyes only moving down so he could stare at you more and just look angrier for no specific reason...well, no specific reason yet. "Whats wrong with you?" your tone switched to a more teasing one, head gently tilting to the side, Tate's hands once again tugging up from his sides to squeeze your cheek with a small amount of force.
small....tiny tiny time skip because I can't think of Tate dialogue....
You couldn't think, Tate thrusting into you harder than you swear he'd ever done before, his mindless mumbling and growling filling your ears. He was pissed and his actions showed it. You were ontop of him, hands trying to grasp onto anything you could but the moment you were able to reach him or his hair, he'd just smack your hand away. All he wanted to do was prove to you that he was the only friend you'd ever need.
Tate grabbed at the flesh of your ass, holding onto it gently for a few seconds as he continued fucking into your abused and leaking hole. Even if you werent able to touch him, he on the other hand, was able to grab at and smack at you however he wanted. I supppose that was another part of his revenge plot, Tates grumbling finally turned into words, you had almost expected some types of praise to counter just how rough he was aggressive he was being with you.
"He's not better than me is he? He can't fuck you like i can, can he?"
He almost sounded insecure with the way he whimpered at the end of his words but before you could answer his questions, he was cumming inside of you for the second time in about ten minutes. Tate's teeth gently dug into the soft skin of your neck and eventually your shoulder while he pushed himself further into you so he could really fill you up. More small whimpers flooding from the ghosts mouth as he emptied himself into you and your finger nails dug into the cold skin of his back.
You clenched around him as your orgasm finally took you over, shaking slighlty as your nails left cresant shaped marks in his skin. The two of you almost stuck together due to the large amount of sweat that had started to pool over your bodies. Tate only started to pull out of you when he noticed your shaking had stopped, not wanting to overstimualte you or hurt you in any way.
He looked down at you, with the same cold eyes that glared at you with anger earlier that day, the anger now completly gone. Tilting his head as he looked over your fucked out body, he wouldve stared at you for the rest of the day if he didnt hear the sound of the main door being knocked on. The sound of that stupid friend of yours yelling about leaving his phone in your room, low and behold, his phone sat on your night stand. Prompting Tate to give you a parting kiss, and eventually leaving you alone in your bed, sweaty, fucked out and naked, oh and that guy yelling about his phone, fun.
AAA I REALLY LOVE THE WAY YOU WROTE ABT PETER- could we get a fic where heās being clingy with the reader (you can make it a smut if you want- whatever ur heart tells ya)- heās just too cute I love him, pls and thank youš«¶
Stuffed like a Twinkie.
This fic includes: unprotected sex, Peter being clingy, creampies, oral m receiving, sub!Peter, dom!reader, gn!reader, soft sex, teasing, itās kinda long Iām sorry.
A/N: Iām so sorry if this didnāt have enough clingy Peter, I was so tired writing this.
Divider by @/hunniebunniestudios
Peter's chin laid on your lower stomach, arms gently wrapped around your thighs as he watched you flip through the book you were holding, his pout grew more by the second as he wondered how you were actually spending time reading instead of giving him affectionā¦.!
āBabeā¦.ā
Peter spoke up, fingers moving up your thighs and starting to trace shapes against your skin. His eyes moved up to meet with yours but instead met with the cover of the book instead. You also didnāt respond, prompting a huger pout to coat onto the speedsters lips.
āBaby,ā
This time, you had paid attention, he watched as your eyes peaked over the book and down to him. A smile slightly breaking onto the boyās face before you gave him an actual response.
āYes, Peter?ā
āAre you actually reading instead of giving me attention?ā
You could hear the pout on his face despite looking back down to the words in front of you, Peter didnāt like how you immediately went back to reading instead of giving him the well deserved attention he needed. His hands wrapped around the fat of your thigh and started shaking it until you decided to look back down to him, a whine slipping past his lips when you did.
Instead of responding, you let out a quick sigh, slipping the bookmark in between the two pages then shutting the book. Gently placing it onto the nearby coffee table, and giving Peter your full attention.
āI told you I wanted to finish this chapter, Iāve been pushing it off for likeā¦.a month,ā
Peterās eyes lingered on your face, trying to decide if you were mad at him. Hands going back to tracing shapes on your thigh without much thought.
āYeah I knowā¦.but likeā¦I didnāt know you were gonna stick to it, thought you were just gonna get bored and cuddle with me,ā
His tone was whiny, and it wouldāve been annoying if you werenāt used to this kinda of attitude from him. You rolled your eyes and sat up from your laying position on the couch, prompting Peter to also sit up. This time, he frowned instead of pouting, I guess that was a change.
āMmā¦yeah of course you did sweetheart,ā
You moved around quickly, pulling your head to face Peter instead of your feet. Slowly crawling towards his position on the couch, watching as his face flushed the darkest shade of red and his pants became scarily tight.
Hands gently rubbing over his bulge while he stared down at you and the growing tent in his jeans. It only got worse when your face inched closer and closer.
āFuckā¦.ā
Peter whimpered, it sounded like music to your ears. You hadnāt even taken his boxers off and he was already whimpering like a kicked puppy.
He couldnāt wait much longer, his own hands going to wave yours away so he could unbutton his jeans and shove them down to the floor. A small giggle coming from your lips before you shoved his hands away and started to teasingly pull down his boxers.
His hips jolted up when your fingers traced along the outline of his tip, another breathy moan slipping past his chapped lips.
āFuckā¦.please, Iām sorry āKay?ā
He bargained softly, giving you puppy dog eyes before his lip jolted out to try and convince you to just stop teasing him and yes, it worked.
His boxers hit the floor after his begging, landing on-top of the mountain his jeans had made. Peter wasnāt expecting your mouth to latch on to his dick just as fast as you had shoved his boxers down, leaving him breathless and melting under your touch.
Your lips moved fast, tongue kitten licking the tip for a few seconds before you started bobbing your head then moving it up and down around his length. You already knew you werenāt gonna let him cum, you were gonna push him to the edge then pull away.
āGodā¦youā¦your lips feel so- so so so fucking good around meā¦.ā
The silver haired boy gasped out, his hand gently going to rest in your hair, playing with the tips of it to try and distract himself from his upcoming orgasm.
Peters grip started to grow tighter, his hips jolting up further, notifying you that he was on the brink of cumming. You pulled away after that, dragging your tongue along the side in a teasing manner before wiping the spit from your chin.
āWhat?! You canāt do that to a man!ā
He argued, more shocked than anything at the fact that you just pulled away and didnāt let him cum at all.
āPatience, Baby, just be a good boy, okay?ā
Your voice came out soft and teasing, only further pushing Peter to the edge (of cumming and losing his mind). You quickly made work of your pants and underwear, throwing them onto the floor with Peterās long forgotten clothes.
Peter held his breath as you sunk down onto him, his head leaning back and hitting the wooden part of the couch, he didnāt care much when you were wrapped around him and making his heart pump at a quick pace.
The two of you just sat there in silence for a few seconds, adjusting to each other before silently agreeing that it was okay for you to move. You and Peter both knew he wasnāt gonna last long, so you started with slow movements, hips moving back and forth while his hands went to hold onto your waist gently. Face slowly burrowing into the crook your neck so he could start peppering kisses along it.
Your sweat kissed skin started to press against Peterās as you sped up your movements and he continued dragging kisses down your shoulder, once he was satisfied with the amount, he pulled away so he could admire your beauty.
āYouāre so fucking prettyā¦.i donāt think Iām gonna last much longer,ā
He chuckled out softly, watching as you let out a nod instead of verbally telling him you were close as well. His pants began to speed up with your movements, watching as you bounced ontop of his cock. He couldnāt handle it anymore, his hands grasping tighter against your waist and holding you down as he released inside of you. Waiting a second as he watched your orgasm take over your body for a second.
The two of you immediately fell against the couch, pressed against Peterās chest and listening to him pant for a solid three seconds before he took a breath and pulled out of you, Trying to be slow and sweet as not to overstimulate either of you. Letting silence over take the both of you before Peter spoke.
āDo you want a Twinkie? I definitely want a Twinkie,ā
This fic includes: Gun play, Kai being Kai, grinding against a boot, degradation, shitty writing, Kai may be ooc :(, Female readerā¦?, left on a cliff hanger, orgasm denial.
Divider by: @/osakiiz
The cold metallic feeling of the gun pressing further against your teeth filled your mouth; it had faintly reminded you of the taste of blood. Yet, you were snapped from your thoughts when Kai pushed his boot further against your heated core, causing a whimper to slip from your mouth, the gun still pressed against the top of it.
Kai had assured you that the gun was unloaded, even dropping a few of the bullets in front of you, but you werenāt exactly sure he had emptied the entire chamber. Thinking was the least of your worries as the muzzle was pushed down your throat with more force than before, you could tell he was getting more irritated by the moment.
āNowā¦I think youāre starting to understand the consequences your actions have, right lamb?ā
You werenāt sure if he was expecting a response since you couldnāt give him one. The more you tried to speak, the more drool coated the gun, lips tightly wrapped around it before your tongue followed suit and treated the gun like it was your divine ruler's cock.
A lack of breath suddenly came over you, prompting you to pull away so you could take a deep breath. That pissed Kai off, his hand immediately grasping into your soft hair and yanking you back around his gun.
āTsk Tsk Tsk, you never learn, itās honestly shameful and for such a slut like you,ā
It's been nearly an hour of just sitting at his knees and pleasuring the gun rather than him or yourself; it's painful. Your hips rutting against the leather of Kai's boot once more, the only pleasure you seemed to be getting tonight.
The movement of your hips didnāt slow, nor did the movements of your tongue or lips. Kai noticed as your eyes slightly rolled back and your bare heat leaked against the leather like a desperate puppy. He knew you were close, and he wasnāt having it.
"All of my attempts to get you to learn, like a good lamb, have been for nothing? Why would I let you finish when all you've proven is your ability to be desperate?"
His tone was harsh; it was always harsh. You expect nothing less from him. Kai yanked his boot from underneath you, the gun followed suit after a moment, dropping it onto the carpet next to you, large hands moving away from your hair and going to tug at the zipper of his jeans.
āYouāre going to have to prove to your divine ruler that you can be worthy, hopefully you donāt fuck that up too,ā
(A/N!!: Hi guys! Iām back for my monthly writing, so I havenāt exactly seen all of wandavision or the movies quicksilver is in. I think I have a grasp of his personality and Iām going to be using Peter in the fic and I hope Iām not too repetitive! Divider is by @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more)
A = Aftercare (What theyāre like after sex)
He tries his hardest to stay awake long enough but normally heās awake long enough to speed around and get you a bath running before heās nearly passing out next to the tub with a box of Twinkies. Waiting for you to get out so he can fall asleep again but this time with you next to him.
B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)
If youāre a girl, he loves your tits. Burrowing his face into them or just using them as something to squeeze when he spaces out.
Just in general, your thighs, Peter just wants to lay there and let them hold him till the end of time. Heāll rant or play a video game while laying in your lap and listening to how your day went. (Extra points if you play with his hair. Please play with his hair)
His hands. Being able to grab you and hold you in every way possible is the best thing ever to him. I mean they also help him win video games and get the high score on literally everything, theyāre just as speedy when heās fingering you till youāre sobbing.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
All over your back, favorite place, no changed no hesitation. Heāll cover your back in his cum and just sit there for a good second and stare at your body before he actually starts the aftercare.
I guess he also prefers cumming inside, he doesnāt wanna risk getting you pregnant/ if you canāt get pregnant, heās always cumming inside. Back to the pregnant thought, heāll normally use a condom, and pull out before he actually does cum.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Skipping on this one! Iām sorry ā¹ļø
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what theyāre doing?)
I say no, probably not besides watching porn, sometimes he doesnāt really have the confidence to ask a girl out, let alone get them into bed. Maybe one or two girls who were huge quicksilver fans, yet most of his experience now comes from watching other people. So heās probably still learning a few new things with you.
F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)
Doggy style, he keeps his hands on your hips and likes having his eyes glued onto your ass the entire time. Normally he can see your face peak out if heās going extra fast and the way you look at him drives him crazy.
Cowgirl, when heās on bottom which was probably obvious but he still likes being able to grab onto your hips and slightly be able to guide your movements. He loves it when heās able to watch your face and your reaction while heās on bottom, another added bonus is when heāll occasionally slide his hand up to squeeze you boobs/man boobs.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
Jokes way too much, heās never been the most serious guy and he actually canāt be serious while having sex. He just talks and talks and talks, well if heās on top yeah, he canāt keep his mouth shut.
Expect a lot of shitty jokes that follow the lines of, āWhat do women and noodles have in common?ā¦..They both wiggle when you eat em!ā Thatās his go to when heās eating you out, heāll just pull away to deliver his joke then go right back at it.
If heās on bottom, heās way too quiet, every time he starts thinking about saying a joke, he loses his train of thought with you fucking him.
H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
The carpet does in-fact match the drapes pretty well, maybe a slightly darker shade of gray with occasional curls mixed in there.
He trims the hair, he never goes fully bald down there but heāll cut it before it gets too long so youāre both comfortable.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)
Heās more of a guy that gets pampered than being pampered, but thatās doesnāt mean he wonāt be intimate! Yet heās not that good at it, flower petals around the room (in a very messy manner) and a lit candle which is probably only to cover up the weird smell in Peterās room.
He wishes he could do better but all heās seen romance from is from stupid romcoms. Occasionally, (with the help of Wanda) he can make you a good dinner before inviting you into bed.
J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)
He doesnāt like it but heās used to it, he can usually get himself off pretty quick but thatās what ruins the fun! He could literally get himself off about 5 times in two minutes.
The only way he really likes it is if heās able to steal some of your underwear, it makes the whole thingā¦.feel better. But still, he prefers if youāre the one to get him off.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
food play, praise kink.
When I say food kink, I mean like heās putting whipped cream on your nipples and pouring chocolate syrup all over your body so he can lick it off later. Especially if heās gonna give you head, nothing a little bit of toppings canāt help with.
He constantly needs to be praised, anything heās doing, even when itās outside of the bedroom. He can make an actual meal for once in his life and heās begging for you to tell him he did a good job.
In the bedroom, youāre his main priority, so constantly checking in on you is a must every time. Heāll pull away from giving you head or thrusting into you just so he can ask if heās doing good. He wont continue until you answer.
L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
Always the bed, well not always but mainly the bed. Itās the most comfortable space in his room, yet if itās at your house. Nearly anywhere.
Walls, counters, on the couch, Iām talking everywhere he can get his grubby little Twinkie fingers on you. Thatās where heās gonna fuck you, he doesnāt really care as long as itās comfortable.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
He loves it when you wear short shorts or a crop top or anything that just shows off more of your body than it would normally be shown off. Especially skirts and dresses, he canāt handle himself if youāre wearing a skirt. Heāll be on his hands and knees before you can even think.
N = No (Something they wouldnāt do, turn offs)
Peterās pretty experimental but he doesnāt like degradation or any of that weird stuff like pee, or anything that would hurt either of you.
Heās pretty sensitive during sex, and the one time you guys tried degradation, it felt good for a few seconds but the more intense it got, he just felt bad. The most heāll do is call you a slut, he can take a little bit of name calling but nothing intense.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Heās a master at head, his tongue can move around extremely fast and sometimes too fast. He can give you atleast three orgasms before actually fucking you.
Way too sensitive when you give him head, the moment your lips come in contact with his tip, heās literally whining and begging you to slow downā¦.the heās begging you to go faster.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Heās normal fast but pretty gently with you, his pace is just quick but heās not like trying to actually hurt you if thatās making any since, he canāt really go slow. When heās inside you, he physically canāt keep himself from speeding up.
When heās the bottom, he prefers you being slow with him, as Iāve said before, heās sensitive. So he likes when your pace is slow but rough, hard thrusts but a slow pace.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Itās in the name, No Iām kidding, he does like a quick pace but he doesnāt exactly like quickies. If you both need a quick release and other people are around, but most likely itāll lead to more quickies throughout the day. His quickies literally last less than five minutes.
Most days, heāll pull you away or make up a lame excuse that you guys canāt go with or canāt help with the next mission. He just really prefers being able to hold you and spend all the time he needs to make you feel good.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
He experiments a lot, down to really try anything you wanna try. Heāll get crazy weird ideas from a movie or a porno and wants to try it out.
Heāll take the occasional risk, fuck you in public or let you give him a quick blowjob but he wonāt actually do it if he knows someone could possible walk in. Doesnāt wanna embarrass you or himself, he especially doesnāt want anyone seeing you in a sexual manner.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
He lasts about 5 rounds when on top, even if the rounds are about 5ish minutes long, he can definitely last longer is your not finished or have more energy.
On bottom, he lasts 3 rounds but they last a bit longer, 10ish minutes. Heāll probably cum each time but beg you for another round. He can last four if he has too much energy.
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He personally doesnāt own any himself, he doesnāt really mind if you own any and probably will steal and use a few of yours when he gets bored or too pent up while alone.
Yes heāll use them on you, he thinks it adds a little spice to your guyās sex life but he prefers to just be able to please you himself instead of a toy.
U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)
Peter doesnāt tease, not on purpose but sometimes heāll pull away to check his phone or stop thrusting so he can tell a joke or say something he finally remembered he needed to tell you. If itās like the third round, heāll stop after a second and ask if youāre hungry or something but still will go get himself a Twinkie.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Loud, breathy and whimpery. Heās definitely a sub, leaning more towards bottom some days. He doesnāt keep any of his noises back when bottoming and just moans and moans. Heās just as loud when getting head, itās probably just more whimpers and begging than actual moaning.
W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)
Not nsfw but he definitely buys really stupid graphic underwear. Minecraft, Pac-Man, all the works, then when he drops his pants itās the funniest thing ever.
X = X-ray (Letās see whatās going on under those clothes)
I think, a goodā¦. 7 inches maybe? 7.5 when heās hard and itās a bit thick, heās not circumcised and definitely has some veins running around it.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
High, he gets horny from the weirdest and most normal things. But he knows you donāt constantly aline with all his needs so heāll sit there and wait for hours until you actually are ready to fuck.
If he fixes his own issue, itāll probably only be an hour or two until heās horny again and needs you to fix it for him.
Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)
Think I said things like this A, but he tries to stay awake just for you and just to make sure you are all comfortable and taken care of.
When heās bottoming, he nearly just passes out without a care in the world, he can shower or eat in the morning. He just wants to sleep
(A/N! This is my first written smut!!! I havenāt yet finished Murder House and I have really bad focus on tv shows so I really hope this is good enough! The divider (flowers and leaves is from @/mietteone) Iāll try and make this without any gender talk!)
A= Aftercare (what theyāre like after the act)
Heās very cuddly after a round of sex, even clingier if the two of you go for longer than a round. He canāt find himself letting go of you at all. Heāll probably fall asleep first btw.
Yet some days heās not as happy has the others, heāll distance himself from you after sex for a few minutes, lay by himself and stare at the wall before he finally cuddles up to you, only if he can be the little spoon though. Maybe heāll start venting or crying, but most the time it ends in cuddles and cockwarming if heās upset.
B= Body part (favorite body part themself and their lover)
He definitely prefers his hands or his mouth, Tate likes holding onto you while fucking, even if itās not during sex he loves holding you. Running his hand up and down your thigh or gently grazing your neck and the hickeys he left the night before.
His mouth because well, he can give you all the hickeys and kisses in the world! Marking you is his favorite past time, Tate trails kisses down from your chin all the way to between your legs where he can give you the most sloppy oral ever.
Tate canāt pick and choose parts of your body, all of it is the most perfect thing heās ever seen. But he prefers your face, the way you express your love and watching you talk or whimper under him is the best! Really likes your hair aswell, he can tug and play with it all he wants.
C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)
Inside. He doesnāt care about anythingā¦.all he wants is to just stay inside of you a little bit longerā¦. Talks about breeding you even if he wouldnāt consider a baby at all. (Unless itās the antichrists :3)
He supposes that heāll come on your stomach, second favorite place ever, pulling out and letting it spill all over your smooth skin. It gets him going for a second round.
D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)
First day you moved in, he was already stalking you, watching everything you did even if it was in a sexual way, he also took a habit of stealing your underwear and shirtsā¦just so he could feel closer to you.
E= Experience (do they know what theyāre doing)
Not really, no, he didnāt have much of a sex life when he was alive. All he really had was porn and his imagination.
F= Favorite position
Simple missionary is the best, he can watch your face contort into all the different little emotions you have to show while you whimper out his name and beg him to go faster. Itās also super easy to kiss you when youāre facing him.
Back shots when heās angry, shoving you into the mattress and almost growling into your ear, itās crazy how fast he can go from loving and caring to nearly suffocating you in the pillows. Heās still gonna leave marks all over your back.
G= Goofy (how serious are they)
Tate likes to crack a few jokes, jokes about being dead stuff like āever been fucked this good by a ghost?ā. Little comments like that or a knock knock joke if heās really in a good mood.
Yet, like Iāve stated before, when heās upset, he doesnāt crack jokes, he barely even talks unless heās telling you how good youāre doing.
H= Hair (grooming habits)
Heās always been a smooth person, he likes shaving, itās uncomfortable with hair in places like that. Occasionally heāll have a bit of a carpet but itās never more than a little chunk of it.
I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or dirty)
He tries to be romantic, maybe some flower petals scattered along the halls to your bedroom. Or a lit candle sitting on your bedside table, you have no idea where it came from btw.
He praises a lot, telling you how good youāre doing and how pretty you are. He needs to make sure you understand how much he loves you.
J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)
Before he met you (well before he actually started talking to you) he was a compulsive masturbater. Any moment he was stressed or when he could catch a glimpse of you changing, he had his jeans down to his knees in a second.
Yet now that you two are dating, he doesnāt jerk it as much, only when youāre at school and canāt find himself waiting for longer than an hour. He knows youāre always up for a round or two if he needs some help.
K= Kink (well, kinks!)
Choking, Praise, occasional degration, (definitely a mommy kink. He also really wants to fuck you in the latex suit.)
He likes to be choked more than choking you. Scared that heāll possibly hurt you or even kill you if he in a bad mood. So he prefers being chocked when heās on the bottom.
Praise goes both ways, if you praise him, heāll cum immediately after whimpering and begging for āmommaās helpā. Tate loves praising you, Iāve stated before that he needs to make sure you understand how pretty you are.
Degrades you when in a bad mood, calling you a whore, slut, etc. Sometimes he goes a little far, and heāll make up for it with the best cuddles and aftercare ever.
Mommy kink, Only really when heās on the bottom or in an upset mood. With how much of a bad experience he has with his mom, he finds a tiny bit of comfort in calling you his momma in bed.
L= Location (where they like to get it on)
the bed is always a number one place. Itās comfortable and easy for cuddles right after the deed has been done.
Occasionally, heāll fuck you over a kitchen counter if your family isnāt home, These are typically the days heās not in a good enough mood to wait.
Infront of a mirror. Pretty self explanatory but he doesnāt do it often, sometimes he really really needs a confidence fix so he fucks you infront of the mirror and degrades the hell out of you.
M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)
Just you in general gives him the worst hard on imaginable. But if youāre wearing shorts or a skirt, he really canāt keep his hands off of you.
Making out and giving him hickeys will also make him horny. He enjoys all the kisses and sloppiness of pre-sex kissing.
N= No (turnoffs or absolutely wonāt do)
Refuses to ever share you, nothing like threesomes or cucking or letting someone else watch. He gets jealous really quick, he needs you all to himself.
Bodily fluids that arenāt blood/spit/cum. Itās gross, Tate gets disgusted at the mention of it.
Not a huge fan of role plays. Canāt really elaborate on this one but he likes being Tate and you beingā¦.well you.
O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)
Really good at giving you head, itās surprising since he never had much experience but he finds himself giving really sloppy and really amazing head.
Loves when you suck him off, heāll act like he hates it and that heās some tough guy but the moment your lips wrap around his dick. Heās whimpering and moaning and begging for more, heās very loud.
P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)
I explain this a bit more in Q. But normally he prefers slow and sensual sex. Taking all the time he needs to please you and himself, he can normally last well past your orgasm. But for rounds, he can last about 2 and a half before he starts unraveling.
He can get rough, lasting for about 3-4 rounds with the fastest pace ever imaginable, I mean heās dead, his energy levels are really off the charts. He can last a good 2 hours without cumming but when he does, itās a lot.
Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)
Some days, yes, and some days, no. Sometimes he just needs a little relief and a quick round of sex. On those days, heāll really rock your shit and go right back to wandering around the house and doing his ghostly things.
If heās upset or really needs you, he prefers to take it slow, being able to have you under him for as long as possible. He only finds himself speeding up if you want him too, but you have to beg him first.
R= Risk (do they like to try new things)
Yeah, definitely into trying some new kinky things. Like if you asked to tie him up or asking to be tied up. Heāll try it, anything to make you happy, oh itās an added bonus if you unlock some deep secret kink inside of him.
S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)
typically, Tate can last 2 rounds, he finds himself getting overstimulated too quickly if he goes on for too long and canāt pleasure you anymore.
If itās one of those days, 3 or 4, he just needs to get all the energy out. Heāll take small breaks in between if you need them but doesnāt find himself taking breaks.
T= Toys (do they use sex toys on themselves or their lover)
He doesnāt like them but he wonāt be pissed off if you own a vibrator or dildo. He understands that heās not always there when youāre in the mood but he can show you how much better he is then those stupid pieces of silicon.
Not much of a toy user, I mean he wonāt start complaining if you use a vibrator on him or something to punish him
U= Unfair (do they tease or do they enjoy being teased)
Typically, no, but ifs heās mad. Yeah, heāll spend at least an hour teasing you and pushing you to the edge. Heāll fuck you then give you head and repeat the cycle until youāre basically crying.
Tate enjoys being teased more than heāll admit. At first heāll laugh it off and say he can handle it like a man, but after about 2 minutes. Heāll be underneath you, crying and begging (just like how teases you!). He canāt really handle what he dishes out, but he really does enjoy it.
V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)
The first time, he tried to stay quiet, felt embarrassed at how loud he was. He was basically screaming while jerking off so he didnāt want to make a noise while having sex.
Until he let a few moans slip and you loved it. You told him that the more he moaned, the better. So he never really held back unless your family was awake, heās really loud. Whimpering, moaning and groaning, all the noises that a man could make, Tate can make them.
W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)
As I briefly stated in K, Tate really really wants to fuck you in the latex suit. He will never admit unless you say something first but thatās all he really wants.
X= X-ray (whatās down below in dem pants)
6.5 inches when heās soft and about 7 when heās painfully hard.
Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)
Pretty high, he gets horny easily and canāt really get rid of his hard ons as easily. Itās a good thing since he knows youāre always up for a quick round or two.
Heās also pretty patient, if you tell him to wait an hour so you can do homework. Heāll wait (after a few minutes of whining and complaining). He can wait but itās not his favorite.
Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)
He tries to stay awake longer than you so he can lull you to sleep or make you feel more comfortable for the last moments of the night but he normally falls asleep first. Especially if itās been a rough day for him.
Warnings = Use of āY/Nā, mentions of sex, implied ātime in the bedroomā, getting slapshotted in the face with a puck by Jack Hughes, reader plays hockey.
x GN! reader!!ā¬ļø (implied hockey player āy/nā)
It was no normal meeting, You werenāt some puck bunny banging on the glass or some person messaging him on social media, he actually smashed you in the face with a puck! Some random stick n puck at a ice rink that he decided to go to when he had free time, and you just so happened to be resting along the bench wall before- well a puck blurred your vision
Heās infatuated with you, heād actually buy you any of his jerseys, maybe heād even sign a few with a little ā;)ā next to his signature.
Jack would first be embarrassed when you met his familyā¦.especially his brothers, they would immediately be children, āJack and Y/N sittin in a tree!ā, The whole thing.
He makes sure you have the best ice skates in the world, any color laces, the stupidest skate guards, anything you could possible want with your gear, Jack would buy it!
Jack in the bedroom? Probably the sweetest man ever, well depending on if heās won that night. He always makes sure youāre comfortable, water on the nightstand and praises just flowing through the room, heās a man-boy everywhere else but with you? Heās a man.
He totally admires the way you watch him play, he gives you a new puck every game, tossing it over the glass with a wink and a childish smile. Even if his teammates bully the hell out of him,
Definitely makes you wear his gear or jerseys just to be a dick, āmarksā you with his disgusting hockey boy scent. Itās always funny to watch your nose curl up in disgust.
Lastly, Heād beg and be on his knees for you to get one of those customized jerseys, something like Mr/Mrs Hughes on the back with his number.
(heād sign his name on the back with āProperty ofā and then his signature under it, he thinks heās funny)
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