there were definitely moments when kirishima wanted more than anything to text bakugou. to call. to write. to do anything to get in contact with his once best friend. but part of him felt that if the blonde had wanted to keep contact, wanted to keep him in his life, he would’ve. wouldn’t he? it hurt to no end and he’s sure kaminari can attest to that.
but with a strong will comes a stubborn heart. in the best and worst ways. though truthfully, kirishima could only see the WORST. refusing to give in and seem desperate and refusing to get over the boy who had flown an ocean away. the latter making itself all the more known the longer bakugou’s return sinks in.
at the surface, he knows he’d willingly lay down his life for his estranged friend. that he’d risk a thousand and one expulsions to keep him out of the clutches of villains. that no matter the situation, he’d shove him out of the way and take the hit for him. so maybe… just this once, kirishima held out the hope of bakugou reaching out a hand to him. no. that’s a SELFISH thought. the explosive hero has done a lot for kirishima. more than he could have ever asked or thought to ask for. he should be happy for what he had gotten and what he’s getting now. even if he longs for the high school days of study sessions and fall walks.
it’s a question he makes a note to never ask. even in jest. because if the answer is one he doesn’t want to hear, he doesn’t know if he’ll be STRONG enough to take. as strong as the sturdy hero red riot has become, kirishima eijirou’s heart is still as soft as it has been for years.
crimson eyes make a point to only half-see bakugou. he knows he’ll stare. trying to figure out what’s new, what’s changed, and what’s stayed the same. for the first two, at least, he knows there will be answers. he nods when the other answered, giving a soft hum in reply. this is the kind of small talk that can KILL.
“ i don’t want to do this. “
those words are like a punch to the gut and a stab to the heart simultaneously. eyes widen for a moment, only now noting the paparazzi and fearing that a conversation as delicate and potentially SHATTERING as this would be overheard by people who had no rightto listen in. but then bakugou continues and the redhead lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. a half smile ( relieved ) spreads and he manages a laugh. “ ah man you’re right. “ he scratches his head and bites his lower lip. weighing something in his mind. how can he call himself a MAN if he won’t ask even a simple question?
” you wanna go someplace else? i mean it’d probably be best to change and not be in public but, “ the offer of going back to his place is on the tip of his tongue. isn’t that too intimate though? “ i could go for a bite to eat somewhere. unless you wanna sleep off that jet lag first. “ he says it like he wouldn’t mind. but to his own ears it sounds like he’s giving them both an out. to not do this. to do what other adults do with half-friends from high school and say they’ll meet up again and never really do. funny, how even that sliver of a thought can break his heart all over again. suddenly kirishima wants to know if there’s a limit to that. and if he’s already nearing his.
to not be in the public is exactly what he wants. he almost cuts in to say so and then stops, halted by the but that plagues the end of kirishima’s sentence. ah, there it is. the out. uncertainty clings to his lips, pursing his mouth to the side in contemplation. it is not a decision about not following through that he’s trying to make but that’s probably what it seems like.
he lands on something riskier than comfortable and extends the offer before he can talk himself out of it, “ we could meet up at mine after? the press nips at my heels when i’m out in public lately so it’s just easier that way — i mean — if you have the time, obviously. ”
a hand raises, subconsciously, to rest against his own sternum. it does not lessen the pressure in his chest and upon the realization of what he’s doing, bakugou pretends to check his wrist watch as an excuse for the action; clears his throat.
“ i have to go file the report but i’m off after that if — uhm, you’re free, i’ll text you the address and you can swing by — if nothing else comes up? i know how demanding work can be, ” there’s an almost sad smile in there; he presents kirishima a second out, just in case that was truly the intention. bakugou wouldn’t blame him. five years is a long time for any sort of relationship to survive without acknowledgement, no matter how important it had been.
reluctantly moving backward toward the direction of his agency, bakugou has half the mind to ask a question he doesn’t really need to, “ your number is the same? ” he already knows the answer.
no, i didn’t forget about you, it really says. yes, the silence was a choice, it admits.
bakugou draws his lower lip through the abuse of teeth briefly, guilty. turning away is a shadow of the last time they part ways; harder than it has a right to be, considering he doesn’t intend on disappearing this time.
i’m here, if you want me. he wants to tell him. i’m here to stay this time. he keeps walking.
titsay
kaledo-art
tangentwithtanner
pixelskylines
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
