Anita~

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Zeus: I need to call 911 but the 9 button isn’t working!

Poseidon: flip the phone over and press 6!

Zeus: genius!

Hades: *stops choking momentarily* what the-

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Persephone: oh come on, just try to see it from MY perspective!

Hades: *gets on his knees*

Hermes: *crouches down*

Persephone: I will kill you both in your sleep.

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Therapist: And what do we say when life disappoints us?

Hades: I called it.

Therapist: no

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Hera: Hades will never agree to this.

Persephone: Sure he will!

Hera: I already asked him three times and he said no.

Persephone: Okay, watch a master at work.

Persephone, turning to Hades with puppy dog eyes: Hades, can we-

Hades: Yes.

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Persephone: My body screams vegetables, but my heart screams ice cream.

Hades: ...well what does you brain scream?

Persephone: It just screams

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Hades: Santa spends one day a year actually working and the rest just judging you.

Persephone: ...

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Hades: I need a drink.

3 yr old Macaria: Here, have my milk!

Hades, smirking: Got anything stronger?

3 yr old Macaria: MAMA! DADDY NEEDS CHOCOLATE MILK!!

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Persephone: Hey Hades, how are you?

Hades: I am elegantly moving from one mental breakdown to the next, you?

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Ares: *breaks his own fingers* Lets do this.

Eros: ...aren’t you just supposed to crack your knuckles?

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Persephone: Hades, we just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Hades: They’re for the dogs.

Persephone: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Hades: They don’t know how to :(

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Interviewer: you mentioned in your resume that you’re creative.

Hermes: yes.

Interviewer: what do you create?

Hermes: problems.

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Hades: You call THAT a near death experience?

Eros: Well, no, I just-

Hermes: -Actually, we call that a vibe check from the gods. *finger guns to the sky*

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Hecate: You know, you should really try to rely on your natural instincts. It really helps-

Hades: My natural instincts are to panic.

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Hecate: You can’t solve your problems playing your sad kazoo music, Hades.

Hades, still playing the kazoo: Yeah? Well I can try.

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Apollo: What’s wrong?

Hermes: My sketchers don’t light up anymore :(

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Therapist: So on a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling today?

Hades: You know that feeling where you fall in your dream and it’s very unpleasant?

Therapist: Hades, how does this relate to-

Hades: I’ve spent most of my afternoon thinking about that.

Therapist: ...