Hi, I'm Elizabeth, but I go by Beth! I'm 21, she/her. I'm new(ish) to tumblr and pretty shy, but I'm an open book and I'd love to make friends so feel free to message me!
Some facts about me:
I'm studying biochemistry and anthropology right now and in the process of applying to grad schools for a masters in laboratory medicine
I play piano, french horn, cello, trombone, and ukulele and I sing in three choirs
My hobbies include reading, music, gardening, knitting and embroidery, cooking, and forensics
Masterlist
Updated: 11/19/2023
Criminal Minds - all works are Spencer Reid x fem!Reader
Life with Spencer Reid Masterlist - in progress
Take a Chance Masterlist - in progress
Physics is stupid - fluff, 3.8k
Don't freak out (requested) - angst and fluff, 4.2k
A little collection of my summer-themed Spencer Reid x Reader fics. Enjoy!
Summer Nights: Summer may come to an end but the kisses Spencer shares with you will not [fluff]
Skinny Dipping: It doesn’t take much to convince Spencer to go skinny dipping with you [smut, 18+]
Nude Beach: You finally convince Spencer to go to the beach with you. Turns out it’s a nude beach. [smut, 18+]
Beach Day: Spencer hates the beach but can’t get enough of seeing you in a swimsuit [smut, 18+]
Summer in the City: Having a roommate who decided it was too hot to wear clothes suddenly made the heatwave much more tolerable for Spencer [smut, 18+]
26 Things: Spencer is determined to help his girlfriend check off everything left on her bucket list - even the explicit parts [mini-series, fluff & smut, 18+]
Please like, reblog and leave a comment! I need your lovely words to stay motivated to write more stories.
summary: reader and spencer experience a miscarriage due to ectopic pregnancy
genre: angst, 2.3k
warnings: mentions of pregnancy, ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, ambulances/hospitals, surgery, mentions of infertility
series masterlist here
a/n: me, updating this series after how long?? anyways, this was written with the information i could find on the internet about ectopic pregnancy and recovery, so it may not be totally accurate! read at your own discretion
A sharp pain in my abdomen woke me up. I could immediately tell that something was off - I was lightheaded and the pain in my lower stomach was getting worse.
“Spencer,” I whispered, reaching over to shake him awake.
“Hm,” he muttered, rolling over. I shook him harder.
“Something’s wrong, Spence. I don’t feel good, I think you should take me to the hospital.”
His eyes snapped open. “Are you serious? What's wrong?”
“I don't know. I can just tell that something's wrong, and I - ah!” I gasped out as another bolt of pain passed through my abdomen. “I'm in pain. And I- I don't know. I'm lightheaded. Something's just wrong.”
“Okay, it's going to be alright,” he said, getting up and walking over to my side of the bed to help me out. He pulled the covers off of me to help me get up, and gasped.
"Oh my god," he said softly, worry clouding his eyes. I followed his line of sight down to the sheets. There was a large bloodstain under my hips.
“Is that your period?” He asked. I shook my head, panic filling my chest. “Okay, let's get you to the hospital. C'mon, I'll help you to the car.”
I could hear in Spencer's voice that he was trying to stay calm for my sake, but I could see my own panic mirrored on his face. I stood up, and suddenly the room was blurry and spinning around me. I could feel my back getting clammy, and my heart was pounding in my ears. I fell against Spencer's chest, and felt him catch me and lay me back down on the bed.
I was drifting in and out of consciousness - I heard Spencer talking to someone, then I was somewhere with a bright fluorescent light shining over my head. The last thing I remembered was Spencer leaning over me, tears streaming down his cheeks.
---
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I opened my eyes slowly. “That noise is really annoying,” I muttered, closing my eyes again. It was too bright.
“She's waking up,” I heard someone saying. I didn't recognize the voice. I blinked my eyes open again, squinting so that I could take in my surroundings. I was in a hospital bed, with an IV sticking out of my arm.
“Spencer,” I called when I noticed him standing near the door.
“Hey, baby,” he greeted, coming over to stand next to me. “How are you feeling?”
“I - tired. What happened?”
Spencer's eyebrows drew together with concern, and he pressed his lips together. “The nurse is sending your doctor down to talk to you. She should be here in a minute.” He took my hand in his and squeezed it tightly, leaning in to press a kiss to my forehead.
Not long after, the woman who I assumed was my doctor came in.
“Good morning, Dr y/l/n,” she greeted me. “I'm Dr Keller. How are you feeling?”
“Tired, and confused. And please, call me y/n,” I replied, smiling politely.
“Alright, y/n. Unfortunately, I have some bad news for you. When you came in last night, you were suffering from some very heavy bleeding, and we eventually determined that you were miscarrying an ectopic pregnancy.”
“Miscarry- no, that can't be right,” I told her, shaking my head. “I'm not pregnant.”
“It's possible that you didn't know about the pregnancy - your partner didn't either, obviously, when he came with you in the ambulance. But, the ruptured fallopian tube was what was causing your pain and blood loss. Your fallopian tube was ultimately too damaged to salvage, so we had to remove it along with the ectopic tissue.”
My lip quivered. “I was pregnant?”
She nodded. “I'm so sorry, y/n. We can discuss in more detail what this means for you once you’ve gotten some rest. I’m going to give you two a minute, and I’ll be back shortly in case you have any more questions, ok?” She left, and I burst into tears.
“I know, baby, I know,” Spencer soothed, crawling into the hospital bed beside me. I tucked my head under his chin and wrapped my arm around his torso as best I could.
“I - this is silly of me. I didn't even know I was pregnant, I shouldn't be so upset about losing something that I didn't even know I had,” I blubbered.
“It's okay to cry, y/n,” Spencer reminded me. “It's a loss like any other, and it's important that you grieve however you need to. We need to grieve.”
I cried even harder at his words. We had talked about how we both wanted kids at some point, but we hadn't discussed when. I knew how much Spencer wanted to be a dad. And yet, here I was, missing a fallopian tube.
“I'm sorry, Spence. I-” I paused, not even knowing what to say.
“It's okay,” he said softly, knowing what I was trying to say. “It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault. We don't need to talk about it right now if you don't want, okay?”
I nodded, squeezing him tighter against me.
---
Two days later, I was discharged from the hospital and Spencer took me home. I was supposed to stay home for at least another week, but I wasn't ready to talk about it with Millie yet so I just sent her my doctor's note and told her that I wouldn't be in until I was feeling better.
“Did you want me to stay home with you tomorrow?” Spencer asked while we were eating supper. I shrugged.
“You don't have to,” I replied, looking down at my food and pushing it around on my plate.
“That's not what I asked,” he said gently, reaching over to lift my chin. “Y/n, this is happening to both of us, you know that, right? I just want to be here for you.”
“I know, Spence, I’m sorry,” I replied, finally looking up at him. “I just don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with something like this. And, I know this is hard for you, too, and I want to be here for you like you are for me, but I just feel so… heartbroken. I mean, we might never be able to have a baby now, Spencer. I’m broken, and nothing can fix it.” I set down my fork and willed the tears that were beginning to form away.
“Hey, hey,” Spencer cooed, pulling me into a hug against his chest. “You are not broken, do you understand me? You could never be broken. I know you’re scared, and I know you’re upset, but I need you to understand that this is in no way your fault. I love you no matter what, right?”
I nodded against his chest, wiping my tears away on his sweater.
“Besides, we haven’t even really talked yet about having children yet. I’m not saying that a baby wouldn’t have been a good thing, but it sure would have been a surprise! The other thing to remember too, honey, is that there are lots of different ways to have children. And when we do eventually have a kid together, we are going to love them so fucking much that it won’t even matter how they became a part of our lives.
“Just promise me you won’t push me away because of this, okay? I want you to take the time you need to recover from this, physically and emotionally, but I want to be a part of that recovery. We’re going to get through this together.”
I could hear him starting to get choked up. I lifted my head up to look at him, giving him a weak smile. “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” I told him. “I love you so much, Spence.”
“I love you too. Now. Try eating a little bit more, and then maybe we can crawl into bed early and cuddle for a bit before we go to sleep. Sound good?”
I hummed in agreement and turned back to my plate. “You can go to work tomorrow. I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I’ll get caught up on my knitting, finish that book… it’ll be good.”
Spencer responded by leaning over and giving me a quick peck on the cheek.
---
The next morning, Spencer left on time, giving me a kiss and gentle hug goodbye and whispering ‘I love you’ while I was still in bed.
When I got up a few hours later, the incision from my surgery was sore. I hobbled to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, and was planning on returning to bed when I heard a knock at the door. Before opening it, I checked through the peephole only to find JJ on the other side.
“Hey, JJ,” I greeted her, opening the door and stepping back gingerly.
“Hi, y/n, is… Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, what do you mean?”
“Nothing, you just… never mind. Um, is Spencer here?”
My instinctual reaction was panic. Spencer had gone to work. He was supposed to be at work.
“No, he left for work at his normal time this morning. Didn’t he show up?”
“He did, but he left because he said that you needed him to come home. He didn’t say why, but he wasn’t at work very long.” She paused for a moment, looking at me closely. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I…” I wasn’t sure if I wanted anyone to know that I had miscarried. I had asked Spencer the night before not to tell anyone, and I wasn’t very close with JJ, but she was a mother. I suppose if anyone was going to understand, it would be her. “Can I tell you something, but can you not tell anyone?”
“Of course,” she replied, brows furrowing. “Did you want me to come in? I don’t have to, but-”
“Yeah, of course,” I interrupted, opening the door wider and stepping aside so that she could come in.
We sat down on the couch a few feet apart. I knew that JJ had been Spencer’s best friend before we met, but I’d never really gotten close with her.
“I had a miscarriage three days ago,” I told her after a short silence, looking down at my hands clasped in my lap, blurry from the tears that were starting to press on the back of my eyes. “I didn’t even know I was pregnant, we- we weren’t even trying or anything. It just hit me kind of hard, and they told me that I might not be able to get pregnant again, and I just… I didn’t even realize it was something that I wanted until I couldn’t have it, y’know?”
“Oh my god, y/n, I’m so sorry,” JJ said, reaching out to hold my hand. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
“I don’t think so,” I sniffled. “I didn’t mean to ambush you with this, I don’t even know why I wanted to tell you. I think I just needed to tell someone, just to get it out there?”
“I know what you mean.” JJ gave me a sympathetic smile. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want, but I had a miscarriage too. When I was overseas.”
“You did?”
She nodded.
“If you, um, don’t mind me asking, how did you get over it?”
“To be completely honest, it’s not really something you get over. I guess grief is different for everyone, but I find myself thinking every now and then about who that little baby might have grown up to been, or how my life would be different.”
---
JJ stayed for a few hours, talking at first with me about the miscarriage, but then just chatting. When she left, my mind went back to the hospital, the doctor’s words replaying over and over again in my mind. JJ being here had helped, though. I just had to get my mind of things for a little while until the wound wasn’t so fresh, and I could think through it. I turned on Gilmore Girls and decided to bake some cupcakes.
There was third batch of cupcakes in the oven and I was frosting the first when I heard Spencer’s key turning in the lock. I paused the tv and called out to greet him.
“Hey, honey,” he said, setting his bag down and walking into the kitchen. “It smells really good in here, but are you sure you’re getting enough rest like the doctor said?”
I gave him a peck on the cheek. “I had enough rest this morning. JJ came over and we chatted for a bit, but when she left I wanted to get my mind off it, so I’m making cupcakes. I’m almost done so I can rest after while I’m eating them.”
“I see,” replied Spencer, scooping some frosting out of the bowl and licking it off his finger. “Are you sure you’re okay, y/n? I mean, this was a big deal, and I don’t expect you to just move – ”
“I’m okay, Spence. I mean, not completely, but I’m managing okay and I know that it will hurt less with time. I just need to get there, so,” I gestured vaguely at the kitchen, “Cupcakes.”
“Okay, I’m glad. Promise you’ll let me know if you need anything?”
“I promise, Spence. Now, stop eating the icing and go sit in the living room. I’ll bring you a cupcake when they’re done.”
He dipped his finger back into the bowl one last time, giving me an impish grin before walking over to the couch. “I love you, y/n.”
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