being normal is not an option for her

18+ / bluebaric on ao3

[dreadwedge]

touch starved infant leaves hospital after contactless delivery

[garbae5000]

that baby went straight through the hoop. nothing but net

[dreadwedge]

swish

[echotunes]

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

[necromancelena]

Going outside with wet hair from showering is humiliating because everyone sees you and thinks stuff like "eww gross here comes the wet girl". But going outside with wet hair when it's raining? Unambiguous boon because now everyone is thinking stuff like "wow, she's so topical" and "her hair is a scathing critique of the times we live in"

[undying-princess]

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

[dailycatsblog]

[lustcannibalism]

computer play creep by radiohead, loud enough to kill

[lustcannibalism]

I DON'T BELOOOOONG HERE

[neverwonderneverremember]

sleep is stolen time. don't let them take it from you anymore. tonight. we are staying up. til one billion o clock.

[memewhore]

[hardwrench]

so baby hold me closer in the toast slot of your toaster

[whiteshakira]

my unwritten novels were snubbed at the international booker prize once again

[saltoncity]

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

[cherubg1rl]

[thedickcavettshow]

Her: You must be Alison Bechdel zip-lining at dusk if you think we r fucking

Me:

[healrosie]

i am not a religious person…….. but if you’re out there, giant rat that makes all of the rules,

[dogpuppy]

[buildanaltarwhereitswells]

[c3rvida3]

Don't be mad, but I changed my name to your dog's name and then I robbed a bank, and now they're coming to your house to arrest your dog.