dreadwedge_horse

educated mind-reading horse. notorious liar. she/her

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regular climax only accounts for around 10% of known sexual pleasure n the known universe. another 35% can be attributed to a little understood phenomenon physicists call "dark orgasm"

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three hole punch. great name for an implement. bad name for a drink

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review of “widows bay”

I feel about this the same way I feel when I see a commercial for progressive insurance: always glad to see talented improv comedians getting work in Hollywood California

yet another example of the “white cast, black cop” phenomenon that has plagued american tv since at least the early 2010s

Wants to be 22-episode monster of the week 90s camp, doomed to be 10-episode emmy-nominated Apple TV slop

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dont eat lettuce or go outside

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the okavango delta is so fucking cool

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Fukxkinhg liar

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looking to source winner turds #winners #celebrityturdmuseum #grammyturds #oscarturds #collect

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yeah i had a really productive day today mom. woke up at 8 AM sharp, full of creative energy, posted "hell is other peehole" on social media, and then took an 8 hour nap. later i might hit the fridge and treat myself to some mustard squeezed directly onto my palm. i feel like ive earned it

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how pets are named

Holly -> Hollywood -> L.A. -> Los Angeles -> Angel -> Snow Angel -> Snowgirl -> Frosty the Snowgirl -> Frosty -> Ice Cream -> Soft Serve -> Little Softy -> Microsoft -> Microsoft Word -> MS Word -> Miss Word -> Miss W -> Mrs. Dubya -> Mrs. George W. Bush -> Mrs. Bush -> Mrs. Busch's Baked Beans -> Mrs. Beans -> Mrs. Mr. Bean -> Mistress Beans (in a British accent) -> Beans On Toast -> B.O.T. -> Bot -> Botulism -> Botulizzy -> Lizzy -> Big Lizzy -> Large Lizard -> L.L. -> LL Bean -> Mrs. Large Lizard Bean -> Mrs Large Lizard Beans On Toast W. Bush the Snowgirl -> Girl

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flubber was a documentary

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dreamed I was thoroughly embarrassed on a game show because I couldn’t think of a 7 letter palindromic word in time. Woke up furious the judges didn’t accept “repaper”. My spelling nightmare

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stop dropping solutions in the tags. unless you are posting while asleep i dont wanna hear it

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christmas is coming the goose is getting full please put a bullet in the old man's skull if you haven't got a bullet a ha'bullet will do if you haven't got a ha'bullet then use a knife

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(coyly) noo don't pollute my catchment basin

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CRONY'S LAMENT

cant say minion cant say goon.

all my self-descriptors stolen.

cant jack off or watch cartoon.

or my rage gland becomes swollen.

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you give one dog sideburns and a pompadour as a joke and suddenly you're the dog haircut guy for every elvis impersonator with a poodle in the world. i had dreams. i wanted to be a right wing politician

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side-table next to my toilet with a stack of crisp A4 size printer paper

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Local butcher’s websites should have a tab for “games”