Saw this. Got inspired. Wrote a few bits of dialogue to go with some of the scenes in it.
Dipper: (comes down from lifeguard chair) Pacifica?
Pacifica: (approaches him in purple beach dress with a kick board tucked under her arm) The one and only, Dippy.
Dipper: H-hey, didnāt we talk about maybe not using that name in public?
Pacifica: Ah, my faultā¦are you sure youāve put on enough lotion? Your cheeks look a bit burnt.
Dipper: (instinctively cupping part of his face) Heh, so, uh, so what brings you here? I thought you said the public pool was ābeneathā you.
Pacifica: It is. The one back home is much nicer and more private. Especially since my parents are out of town for the weekend.
Dipper: And weāre-ahem-And youāre not there becauseā¦
Pacifica: I heard you had (frowns in effort) v-vol-volu-.
Pacifica: (snaps fingers) Thatās the word. Volunteered at thisā¦charming location as a lifeguard.
Dipper: Oho, I get it now (tries to casually flex). Come to watch your beau hard at work, have you?
Pacifica: (sweetly) Iām here to get you fired.
Dipper: (coyly) Really? And how are you going to do that?
Pacifica: You canāt do your job very well if youāre stuck in that chair.
Dipper: Why wouldnāt I be able to leave my-(Pacifica instantly disrobes, revealing the purple bikini combo in that pic)-GAAAH!!! (Heās feeling it.)
Pacifica: (āinnocentlyā) Lot of kids and parents in the water.
Dipper: (Scrambles back onto the lifeguard seat. Pacifica casually hands him the kick board, which he puts over his lap) You are the worst girlfriend ever.
Pacifica: (pats his knee) You know, this wouldnāt be a problem at MY pool.
Dipper: (seething and flushed) Worst. You are the worst.
Pacifica: (leaves to go oil herself where he can easily see her) Love you too, babe. Keep it up.
Middle Left: Putter There
Pacifica: (runs into the scene with a golf club) Hang on, kid. Help is on its-what? Corduroy?!
Pacifica: Whatās going on? Where did all these zombies come from?! (Wendy decapitates a zombie) And where did you steal that ax?
Wendy: I didnāt steal it! My dad gave it to me. And Iā¦mightāve summonedā¦the zombies.
Wendy: I-Iāll find a way to fix it. Just get out of here.
Pacifica: Like Iād leave you to fight these things alone.
Wendy: Oh what are you gonna do? Putt them to death?
Pacifica: For your information, this is a (clobbers the head off of a zombie) DRIVER. Totally different.
Zombie Dipper: Zombie Soos, you look sad, even for an undead abomination. Whatās the matter, little dude?
Zombie Soos: Itās just that my legs are too tiny to keep up with the other zombies. Iām slowing everyone down.
Zombie Dipper: Well, whatās left of my mind can think of a way out of that. Here we go. (lifts Zombie Soos onto his shoulders) Now we are one, Zombie Soos. Now we are truly unstoppable!
Zombie Soos: Whoah! Weāre like some 4-armed necrotastical deity! Part meā¦mostly you, we are now the DOOS!
Zombie Dipper: Yesā¦feel better?
Zombie Dipper: Good. Now letās go eat our friends.
(blockading the door behind them)
Pacifica: Give me that stupid journal!
Wendy: What? How do you know about the-?
Pacifica: JUST GIVE IT!!!
Mabel: Wendy, itās all right. Itās okay. We just need to borrow it for a minute. (turns head) Anything?
Pacifica: blah-blah-blah-complexion-teenagers-ngh! Nothing! No weaknesses. No cure. NOTHING! (angrily closes the Journal) I knew we should have torched this thing when we had the chance!
Wendy: When you had the chance?
Pacifica: (taken aback) Wh-Mabel! You still havenāt told her?! You promised you would.
Mabel: And I was gonna. Just at the, yāknow, right time.
Pacifica: Right time?! Mabelā¦Dipper and Soos are zombies!
Zombie Dipper: (from behind the door) Itās Doos now.
Pacifica: Still not acknowledging that! (back to Mabel) And we got separated from Mr. Pines, who might also be dead!
Stan: (from above and outside) Hah! You aināt getting rid of me that easy, toots!
Mabel: Oh my gosh! Grunkle Stan! Youāre alive!
Stan: Gave those ghouls the runaround and made it to the roof. Good thing I got over that fear of heights a couple years back, right? Heheheheheā¦I donāt think I can get down on my own though.
Pacifica: (miffed) Mr. Pines, donāt you think itās about time that Mabel explain to Wendy why this stupid journal is more trouble than itās worth?
Stan: What? She hasnāt done that yet? Mabel, you and Dipper promised.
Mabel: Augh! Fine! Wendy, listen. I wanted to tell you this in a not as zombie apocalypse-y time and place, but given that we might not be alive in the traditional and pretty sense for much longer, here goes. Youāre not the first kid to find that journal.
Mabel: Yeahā¦you see, a few summers ago, Dipper found this book in the forest. Then a lot of crazy stuff happened. Bit of danger, bit of action, and a surprising amount of character development. (suddenly chipper) Did you know that before they started dating, Dipper really hated Pacifica and she was a huge jerk?
Wendy: Even more than now?
Pacifica: Keep digging, Corduroy. Just keep digging!
Mabel: We had a lot of adventures and busted a lot of conspiracies, but one mystery we never managed to solve, was who wrote these journals. Dipper wouldnāt give up though. Kept trying to find out who did and where the other volumes went. But no luck.
Wendy: Then how did it wind up in that secret room in the Shack? The one with that butt-ugly carpet?
Mabel: Thatās where we stashed the book at the end of every summer. Then heād take it out when we came back. But you got to it first this year. And you know Dipper. Probably thought he was doing the right thing by not getting it back right away or letting you know what he knew.
Mabel: Eh, no need for that. Youāve done some pretty awesome stuff with it. This whole mess right now being the big exception. Honestly, you and Soos kind of remind me of me and Dip back when we were your age. (smiles. Wendy smiles back)
Pacifica: I-Iām sorry, but this is just way too cheery a moment for whatās going down right now. Weāre trapped and this old and (sniffs) oddly lemon-scented - kinda nice actually- book youāre gushing over isnāt giving us any answers!
Wendy: Lemon-scented? Like theā¦posters. (snatches the journal out of Pacificaās hands) Yoink.
Pacifica: Hey! What do you think youāre doing, you little-?!
(Wendy plops the book down in range of the blacklight streaming in from the window)
Wendy: I thought those posters we used for the party tonight smelled familiar. Invisible ink! (flips through pages) This big āol bookās slathered with the stuff!
Wendy: (returns to the zombie section) Here it is! Says here that zombies actually have a weakness and itāsā¦a perfect three-part harmony?
(they all start to look at one another)
Pacifica: Iāve been known to nag a hundred miles an hour.
Wendy: I can belch the National Anthem.
Mabel: Girls, girls, I think weāre missing the obvious solution here.
Pacifica: Burlyā¦burlyā¦boy. I gotta beā¦a burly boyā¦hrrrrk, Mabel! Canāt we pick a different song?
Mabel: Itās on random, baby! Keeps people and their vocal chords on their toes! Sing it loud, sing it proud! OWN IT!
Wendy: You heard her, Pacifica! Kareo-Queenās orders! Burly. Burly. Boy! I gotta be, a burly boy!
Bottom Left: Little Miss Necromancer
Pacifica: Thereās everyoneās favorite ginger lumberjane. Been looking for you all morning.
Wendy: I said go ahead. Make fun of me, tell me how much I screwed up, and how I owe you a new car for the one the zombies wrecked. I deserve it.
Pacifica: If you insist. (Takes a deep, deep breath) good job.
Pacifica: Oh, make no mistake, Iām not letting you live this down anytime soon, Little Miss Necromancer. But in the end, you fixed it. You helped us win, you cured āDoosā, and you even got Mr. Pines off of the roof with that crazy tree trick of yours. Not to mention, youāre pretty good in a fight and your singing voice isnāt half-bad.
Wendy: But you still want the journal back, donāt you?
Pacifica: I donāt want anything to do with that book. If you and Soos want to keep it, Iām sure that the āMystery Twinsā will let you. Speaking of which, want to go and tell Dipper about the invisible ink?
Wendy: You mean he doesnāt know yet?
Pacifica: Nope. Weāre gonna do it together. I canāt wait to see his reaction. He is literally going to kick himself. He must have reread that journal a dozen times and he never figured it out.
Wendy: (laughs) Um, Pacifica?
Wendy: Th-thanks for being so cool about this.
Pacifica: Iām always cool and why shouldnāt I be? Itās not like anyone was seriously hurt last night.
Agent Powers: (crawling out of ditch) That little girl is in so much trouble!
Agent Trigger: (punting zombie head into the forest) Can it, Powers. Weāve got bigger fish to fry. I think this is the town weāve been looking for.
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