Americanized Mexican-American Teen Girl
I’ve been identified as an American girl with Mexican descent. Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of other Latinx members who have dealt with immigrating to the US or parents and grandparents migrating before or after they were born. I’ve never had to deal with the struggles of fitting in and I’ve only experienced one case of racism. I have a hard time connecting with my Mexican side and wondered if anyone had the same experiences as me.
The current city I live has a more majority of latinx’s in any other place I’ve been in. When looking at me people would assume I’m Mexican but sometimes I don’t feel like it. I have thin straight hair compared to the thicker hair other Mexican girls have. I also have very thin lips compared to other Mexican girls lips. Although I’m not white-passing, I’m considered tan enough for people to joke about me being a white girl instead of Mexican which kinda hurts because that wipes away the most important part about me. Girls will tell me I’m lucky that I don’t have thick hair and big lips like them but that made me assume that to be Mexican you have to have that. Especially since Kylie Jenner has appropriated big lips I feel like I’m not pretty enough if I don’t have big lips. I feel like that downgraded my worth as a Mexican girl.
I grew up wearing American clothes and have never worn traditional dresses from Mexico. Looking back at my baby pictures I wore a lot of nice clothes and me and my sister always matched. I always had my hair pulled back in a ponytail and after hating it my mom told me to at least have my bangs back. She told me she didn’t want us going to school looking trashy or boyish. Yet, later on around 10 years old I stopped being girly and wanted to be more tomboyish or emo (it was a phase I wish I could forget about it). I went to school with my hair down and messy and wanted to wear t-shirts and jeans. But everytime I looked at a tomboy or emo girl they were always white. I thought how could a Mexican girl like me be emo or tomboy if all these girls are white? It was like they only looked pretty if they were young and pale. Later on I broke out of that phase and I’m more girlier than ever! I like what fashionistas on Pinterest wear and I follow a lot of blogs that post Dolce and Gabbana clothing.
I’m a straight girl who’s questioned being asexual before. When I’m with someone I don’t like being physical, in fact I’m either shy or I don’t like the attention out of it. I’ve dated a few boys (some I can’t remember because I tried forgetting) but now I’m with a white boy who I’ve been made fun of for dating because he’s really pale. People say we don’t look good together and I’ve questioned being with him after he beckoned me to do things to both him and me. After those experiences I’ve hated even holding his hand and that’s probably how I questioned asexuality. I don’t fully understand it but I don’t think I am necessarily one. In fact I don’t want to date someone who lusts over me, but loves me for who I am. I think It’ll be hard to find someone like that because we live in such a sex-crazed society where people actually believe sex is the only true form of love.
I’ve always told people I was Mexican but my mother told me I was fully American with Mexican descent. I don’t necessarily have white ancestors except a supposed great-great grandmother who was white and born in France. I am part Native American (Cherokee) on my maternal grandmother’s side but I don’t necessarily relate to it since I’m mostly Mexican.
Since people always say I’m polite, I’m good and do my work, and I never get in trouble that I’m more white than Mexican. They’re basically saying I’m not Mexican because all the good things about me are not what Mexicans do or how we act. That’s a very hurtful stereotype because that just puts a bad image on not only Latinxs but other [ethnic groups] in the world.
For generations my families on both sides are fully Roman Catholic. I believe leaving Catholicism is very taboo in both of my families, and my cousin even joked about leaving for a regular Christian fellowship but was yelled at by my aunt, my mom, and my grandma for it. But I love being Catholic and wouldn’t change it for the world, in fact if someone forced me to change religions I would rather die or be tortured. I’m very close to my faith and wish to marry someone Catholic and raise our kids Catholic. Being on Tumblr, I’ve experienced a lot of atheist or non-christian users that have hated who we are but it’s their opinion and I shouldn’t judge people’s beliefs if it isn’t threatening me. I believe my religion is very beautiful, and I’m thankful we have Pope Francis as our leader! He clears a lot of our misconceptions!
I’ve been through elementary, and middle school and I’m in high school right now. My siblings and I are expected to have good grades and we’ve all proven to have average grades of A’s and B’s but high school has been a downfall for me. My sister who’s a year above me has been proclaimed the smartest out of the children and who will actually get somewhere in life. Every time I dream of going somewhere big my parents don’t actually believe in me. I want to attend the University of Texas because our grandpa loves the football team but my parents don’t think I’ll go and believe my sister will be the one to go. It’s kinda damaging since Latinas are sometimes portrayed as poorly educated, and I was to show that we are smart and can go places big and far. We can achieve our dreams.
My family and I only eat Tex-Mex food and we can’t eat any of the food that comes from Mexico. My favorite Mexican cuisine is carne guisada, rice, and beans. After eating enchiladas a lot I grow weary of them. We can eat bowl after bowl of queso and chips, and we don’t care for salsa. My mom doesn’t make any of that “secret family recipe” Mexican food and sometimes struggles to make Mexican cuisines. We eat a lot of American food and sometimes prefer that over Mexican food. During Christmas we buy tamales instead of making them, and my grandma is the only person I know who makes homemade tortillas. My favorite candy is called Picositas Belts and it’s these gummy strips with chile powder on them, and even though it’s not considered Mexican candy, it’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to eating something with Mexican roots.
We celebrate holidays just like any other American family does. We don’t celebrate Mexican holidays such as Dia de Los Muertos or Cinco de Mayo or Independence Day in Mexico because we really don’t need to. The only holidays we get excited for is Christmas and Easter because of our religion. i have yet to attend Christmas Mass at 12 am because I stay to watch my brother but my sister tells me it’s so beautiful. I don’t take Lent as seriously as my mom and sister does because I end up breaking it and forgetting about it later on.
My first language, believe it or not, is English. A lot of latinx’s tumblr users speak Spanish first and I almost feel like it’s unheard of to speak English first. My grandparents on both sides have spoken Spanish first and will usually switch from English to Spanish in one sentence. My grandmother told me she learned to speak English so she could to talk to the Black kids in her town. I’ve been taking Spanish lessons in Duolingo and in school and plan to learn all of the language because I truly want to and it’s good for my resume if I plan on becoming a news reporter when I’m older.
Things I’d Like to see Less of
- Feisty Latinas: I feel like this is the only form of Latinas on TV shows. it’s harmful because I’m not at all feisty and loud. I’m more shy and quiet and someone who keeps to herself. I want more characters made to be like me, because I know I’m not the only one.
- “My name is Maria” “My name is Rosa”: I feel like these names are always used for Latina characters because they have or are the most Spanish sounding names. I mean they are beautiful names but I just feel like writers, movie writers, and TV writers should actually research Spanish names instead of think of one in their head. Valentina, Rosalia, Eloisa, Marisela, Carlotta, Calista, Amalia, and Sonia are some of the prettiest names I can think of off the top of my head!
- Lazy Mexicans : I think every Latinx can agree with me that this is one of the most annoying stereotypes we face. I was raised in a hard-working middle class home where my mom works a part time job that should be a full time job at our church and my dad doesn’t even live with us because he lives four hours away for his job (my parents are together)! It’s so painful for white Americans to blame us for being lazy like try telling that to my dad who has to drive to and fro for his job and rarely gets to see us while you get to see your dad because he don’t do shit but sit at his desk and do play work. My dad is such a hard worker that after being at a company for three weeks he was offered a job in the office for his leadership and organization skills. MY DAD IS SOMEONE YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS WITH.
- Drug Dealing Mexicans : This is such an overplayed stereotype that it’s not even remotely interesting anymore. Do not glorify what the drug cartels are doing in Latin America. Do not think it’s okay to surround a story based on a Mexican or Latinx protagonist trying to build their organization in any Latin American country. Regular, innocent citizens have died on the hands of drug cartels and just because it’s not happening in your neighborhood, don’t assume it’s okay to write stories and sympathize with these dangerous people because it’s “interesting” and “different”. I mean seriously? Hollywood is truly dead.
- Sexy Passionate Lovers : People (especially white people) just love to think were all sexy and passionate lovers. That going to places like Brazil and Cancun and other major Latin capitals you’ll find that one guy or girl you run into and they’ll immediately fall in love with you because “love at first sight” or “because flaming passion arises in from their feisty personality.” Like believe it or not I’ve read stories where the white women meets Pablo on the docks and he changed everything because of his soothing passionate words. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard and we’re not all passionate lovers.
- Latina Mistress of the Rich White Family Guy : Latina’s are always branded as the mistresses to to creepy older rich white guy with a loving family and wife. It’s such a bad stereotype and (well for me) it’s a sin to elope with a married person. They only include that to spice up the story. It’s even grosser when the man is only attracted to her because she’s so feisty and young. Bonus points if she’s the maid of the family.
Things I’d Like to see More of
- Fantasy Genred Books Involving Latinxs Characters : I don’t like Fantasy very much but I feel like I would like it if it involved Latinx characters that go through tales of mythological places and items in former empires like the Aztecs, Inca, and Mayan. Honestly, it was a whole other world back then and stories from the Americas would be more interesting than boring old retold European ones.
- Rich and Well-Off Latinxs Stories : Were so clumped into believing every Mexican or Latinxs character is poor and illegal I just want a story or show where the family is so crazy rich or well-off from their family business and are doing so well and stuff and crazy things happen. Almost like a crappy Lifetime movie or trashy chickflick novel. Like I need something like that! And no cheating!
- A Diversity of Latinxs : I think it’s super important to have Black Latinx and white Latinxs being shown in regular shows and movies would loosen up the stereotypes many of us have today. If I saw a thin-haired, thin-lipped Latina women she would truly be my hero!
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