Americanized Mexican-American Teen Girl
Iāve been identified as an American girl with Mexican descent. Since joining Tumblr, Iāve met a lot of other Latinx members who have dealt with immigrating to the US or parents and grandparents migrating before or after they were born. Iāve never had to deal with the struggles of fitting in and Iāve only experienced one case of racism. I have a hard time connecting with my Mexican side and wondered if anyone had the same experiences as me.
The current city I live has a more majority of latinxās in any other place Iāve been in. When looking at me people would assume Iām Mexican but sometimes I donāt feel like it. I have thin straight hair compared to the thicker hair other Mexican girls have. I also have very thin lips compared to other Mexican girls lips. Although Iām not white-passing, Iām considered tan enough for people to joke about me being a white girl instead of Mexican which kinda hurts because that wipes away the most important part about me. Girls will tell me Iām lucky that I donāt have thick hair and big lips like them but that made me assume that to be Mexican youĀ haveĀ to have that. Especially since Kylie Jenner has appropriated big lips I feel like Iām not pretty enough if I donāt have big lips. I feel like that downgraded my worth as a Mexican girl.
I grew up wearing American clothes and have never worn traditional dresses from Mexico. Looking back at my baby pictures I wore a lot of nice clothes and me and my sister always matched. I always had my hair pulled back in a ponytail and after hating it my mom told me to at least have my bangs back. She told me she didnāt want us going to school looking trashy or boyish. Yet, later on around 10 years old I stopped being girly and wanted to be more tomboyish or emo (it was a phase I wish I could forget about it). I went to school with my hair down and messy and wanted to wear t-shirts and jeans. But everytime I looked at a tomboy or emo girl they were always white. I thought how could a Mexican girl like me be emo or tomboy if all these girls are white? It was like they only looked pretty if they were young and pale. Later on I broke out of that phase and Iām more girlier than ever! I like what fashionistas on Pinterest wear and I follow a lot of blogs that post Dolce and Gabbana clothing.
Iām a straight girl whoās questioned being asexual before. When Iām with someone I donāt like being physical, in fact Iām either shy or I donāt like the attention out of it. Iāve dated a few boys (some I canāt remember because I tried forgetting) but now Iām with a white boy who Iāve been made fun of for dating because heās really pale. People say we donāt look good together and Iāve questioned being with him after he beckoned me to do things to both him and me. After those experiences Iāve hated even holding his hand and thatās probably how I questioned asexuality. I donāt fully understand it but I donāt think I am necessarily one. In fact I donāt want to date someone who lusts over me, but loves me for who I am. I think Itāll be hard to find someone like that because we live in such a sex-crazed society where people actually believe sex is the only true form of love.Ā
Iāve always told people I was Mexican but my mother told me I was fully American with Mexican descent. I donāt necessarily have white ancestors except a supposed great-great grandmother who was white and born in France. I am part Native American (Cherokee) on my maternal grandmotherās side but I donāt necessarily relate to it since Iām mostly Mexican.
Since people always say Iām polite, Iām good and do my work, and I never get in trouble that Iām more white than Mexican. Theyāre basically saying Iām not Mexican because all the good things about me are not what Mexicans do or how we act. Thatās a very hurtful stereotype because that just puts a bad image on not only Latinxs but other [ethnic groups] in the world.Ā
For generations my families on both sides are fully Roman Catholic. I believe leaving Catholicism is very taboo in both of my families, and my cousin even joked about leaving for a regular Christian fellowship but was yelled at by my aunt, my mom, and my grandma for it. But I love being Catholic and wouldnāt change it for the world, in fact if someone forced me to change religions I would rather die or be tortured. Iām very close to my faith and wish to marry someone Catholic and raise our kids Catholic. Being on Tumblr, Iāve experienced a lot of atheist or non-christian users that have hated who we are but itās their opinion and I shouldnāt judge peopleās beliefs if it isnāt threatening me. I believe my religion is very beautiful, and Iām thankful we have Pope Francis as our leader! He clears a lot of our misconceptions!
Iāve been through elementary, and middle school and Iām in high school right now. My siblings and I are expected to have good grades and weāve all proven to have average grades of Aās and Bās but high school has been a downfall for me. My sister whoās a year above me has been proclaimed the smartest out of the children and who will actually get somewhere in life. Every time I dream of going somewhere big my parents donāt actually believe in me. I want to attend the University of Texas because our grandpa loves the football team but my parents donāt think Iāll go and believe my sister will be the one to go. Itās kinda damaging since Latinas are sometimes portrayed as poorly educated, and I was to show that we are smart and can go places big and far. We can achieve our dreams.
My family and I only eat Tex-Mex food and we canāt eat any of the food that comes from Mexico. My favorite Mexican cuisine is carne guisada, rice, and beans. After eating enchiladas a lot I grow weary of them. We can eat bowl after bowl of queso and chips, and we donāt care for salsa. My mom doesnāt make any of that āsecret family recipeā Mexican food and sometimes struggles to make Mexican cuisines. We eat a lot of American food and sometimes prefer that over Mexican food. During Christmas we buy tamales instead of making them, and my grandma is the only person I know who makes homemade tortillas. My favorite candy is called Picositas Belts and itās these gummy strips with chile powder on them, and even though itās not considered Mexican candy, itās the closest Iāve ever gotten to eating something with Mexican roots.
We celebrate holidays just like any other American family does. We donāt celebrate Mexican holidays such as Dia de Los Muertos or Cinco de Mayo or Independence Day in Mexico because we really donāt need to. The only holidays we get excited for is Christmas and Easter because of our religion. i have yet to attend Christmas Mass at 12 am because I stay to watch my brother but my sister tells me itās so beautiful. I donāt take Lent as seriously as my mom and sister does because I end up breaking it and forgetting about it later on.
My first language, believe it or not, is English. A lot of latinxās tumblr users speak Spanish first and I almost feel like itās unheard of to speak English first. My grandparents on both sides have spoken Spanish first and will usually switch from English to Spanish in one sentence. My grandmother told me she learned to speak English so she could to talk to the Black kids in her town. Iāve been taking Spanish lessons in Duolingo and in school and plan to learn all of the language because I truly want to and itās good for my resume if I plan on becoming a news reporter when Iām older.
Things Iād Like to see Less of
- Feisty Latinas:Ā I feel like this is the only form of Latinas on TV shows. itās harmful because Iām not at all feisty and loud. Iām more shy and quiet and someone who keeps to herself. I want more characters made to be like me, because I know Iām not the only one.Ā
- āMy name is Mariaā āMy name is Rosaā: I feel like these names are always used for Latina characters because they have or are the most Spanish sounding names. I mean they are beautiful names but I just feel like writers, movie writers, and TV writers should actually research Spanish names instead of think of one in their head. Valentina, Rosalia, Eloisa, Marisela, Carlotta, Calista, Amalia, and Sonia are some of the prettiest names I can think of off the top of my head!Ā
-Ā Lazy Mexicans : I think every Latinx can agree with me that this is one of the most annoying stereotypes we face. I was raised in a hard-working middle class home where my mom works a part time job that should be a full time job at our church and my dad doesnāt even live with us because he lives four hours away for his job (my parents are together)! Itās so painful for white Americans to blame us for being lazy like try telling that to my dad who has to drive to and fro for his job and rarely gets to see us while you get to see your dad because he donāt do shit but sit at his desk and do play work. My dad is such a hard worker that after being at a company for three weeks he was offered a job in the office for his leadership and organization skills. MY DAD IS SOMEONE YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS WITH.
- Drug Dealing Mexicans :Ā This is such an overplayed stereotype that itās not even remotely interesting anymore. Ā Do not glorify what the drug cartels are doing in Latin America. Do not think itās okay to surround a story based on a Mexican or LatinxĀ protagonistĀ trying to build their organization in any Latin American country.Ā Regular, innocent citizens have died on the hands of drug cartels and just because itās not happening in your neighborhood, donāt assume itās okay to write stories and sympathize with these dangerous people because itās āinterestingā and ādifferentā. I mean seriously? Hollywood is truly dead.
- Sexy Passionate Lovers :Ā People (especially white people) just love to think were all sexy and passionate lovers. That going to places like Brazil and Cancun and other major Latin capitals youāll find that one guy or girl you run into and theyāll immediately fall in love with you because ālove at first sightā or ābecause flaming passion arises in from their feisty personality.ā Like believe it or not Iāve read stories where the white women meets Pablo on the docks and he changed everything because of his soothing passionate words. Thatās the dumbest thing Iāve ever heard and weāre not all passionate lovers.
- Latina Mistress of the Rich White Family Guy :Ā Latinaās are always branded as the mistresses to to creepy older rich white guy with a loving family and wife. Itās such a bad stereotype and (well for me) itās a sin to elope with a married person. They only include that to spice up the story. Itās even grosser when the man is only attracted to her because sheās so feisty and young. Bonus points if sheās the maid of the family.
Things Iād Like to see More of
- Fantasy Genred Books Involving Latinxs Characters : I donāt like Fantasy very much but I feel like I would like it if it involved Latinx characters that go through tales of mythological places and items in former empires like the Aztecs, Inca, and Mayan. Honestly, it was a whole other world back then and stories from the Americas would be more interesting than boring old retold European ones.
- Rich and Well-Off Latinxs Stories :Ā Were so clumped into believing every Mexican or Latinxs character is poor and illegal I just want a story or show where the family is so crazy rich or well-off from their family business and are doing so well and stuff and crazy things happen. Almost like a crappy Lifetime movie or trashy chickflick novel. Like I need something like that! And no cheating!Ā
- A Diversity of Latinxs :Ā I think itās super important to have Black Latinx and white Latinxs being shown in regular shows and movies would loosen up the stereotypes many of us have today. If I saw a thin-haired, thin-lipped Latina women she would truly be my hero!
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