Don't Leave Me - A BPD-centric Analysis of Nyubara Reona/PAREO
(Spoilers for the following: BanG Dream! 3rd Season, and the following Girls Band Party! events: Dreamy ColorsāŖ Pastel Fan Road, A Step to the WORLD, Reach for Twinkling Stars, Bless your ReBirthday)
PAREO is one of my favorite Bandori characters. She's cute, she's funny, she's gay as hell... in general, she's so very charming. But what makes her so special to me is the hidden depths you can find beneath her smiles and energy.
A lot of people agree that PAREO has Borderline Personality Disorder coding, or BPD for short. The two leading headcanons that I've seen are this one, and a plurality/DID headcanon. I won't be delving into the latter here, as I don't feel it is my place to speak about it. However, as someone with BPD myself, I have been thinking about PAREO a lot. And I'd be willing to say that she's not only BPD-coded, but that she was intentionally written with this disorder in mind, and that she's an example of a character with it. If you're interested in my analysis, click below to read more!
I - Life Before, and The Consequences of Neglect
Before there was PAREO, there was Reona Nyubara.
A middle schooler with a quiet life, she lives in Kamogawa, Chiba, a city renowned for its agriculture and natural landscapes, much different from the booming metropolis of Tokyo, which the majority of the franchise takes place in. In real life, unlike Tokyo, which has been experiencing slow-but-steady growth over the past half-century, Kamogawa's population has been doing the opposite, slowly but surely shrinking, while retaining a solid economy thanks to its tourism industry.
This immediately puts Reona in contrast with the rest of BanG Dream's characters, enjoying a sparkling and heart-pounding city life, while she whiles away her childhood in unfulfilled solitude.
Reona was, and still is, an honor student. She is always on top of her schoolwork, is the president of her class, and even helps the basketball club. All her peers tell her she can accomplish anything she'd like to, and her parents want her to become a doctor, a goal which she could no doubt achieve... if she wanted to.
One would figure that a life like this is nothing to complain about. She's liked by everyone, doesn't make waves, and her future seems promising at first glance. But deep down, she is unhappy with this "perfect" life of hers, with no chaos, no opportunity to let her true self shine. On top of it all, her parents are never home, only leaving her food and half-hearted letters to support her.
This parental neglect is a very common cause of BPD. The causes of this disorder are still being fully figured out, but one is widely agreed upon: past childhood abuse and trauma. This abuse can take various forms, from physical, to mental, to even sexual, but another form exists which is often disregarded by people at large: Neglect. Reona experiences neglect every day, due to her parents being too busy with work to give her the care she needs, and her having no friends to confide in, either. As far as we are aware, this has always been the case from the beginning. Eventually, once you get used to this neglect, your young mind makes connections: the other kids at school have nice parents, who are always there. But I don't have that. Why is that? Is it because I am bad? Maybe I need to act like everyone else. Don't stick out. Behave. Get good grades. Don't make waves. Be perfect.
Her only escape is found through one thing: Pastel*Palettes. She managed to catch their very first televised performance, and despite the drama which surrounded them around that time due to the lip-syncing controversy, the idol band resonated with her deeply, and she quickly became a superfan, collecting merchandise and watching all of their live shows. All five members' determination to redeem themselves in the eyes of the public shone through, and showed her that she could be herself, too, even if it seemed impossible.
Aya isn't perfect at all. She flubs her lines, she always looks to Chisato and the others for support, hell, she didn't even sing at first. And yet, she's loved by her peers and her fans. She sticks out, she's imperfect, she makes waves, and she's still loved. Maybe Reona can be loved, too, then...?
This gave her the motivation to begin uploading covers of their songs online, wanting to make something of her love for the band, and the insipiration they gave her. Eventually, that escape brings her an opportunity to break out of her gilded cage, as a certain young producer leaves a comment on one of her videos...
II - Glimmers of Warmth - CHUĀ², PAREO, and RAISE A SUILEN
Reona's meeting with CHUĀ² is the most important event in her young life. The producer is the first person she has ever met that saw her for who she truly is. CHUĀ² didn't care for the composed, polite honor student. What she wanted, who she wanted, was the keyboardist, the Pastel*Palettes fan, the teenager hiding a seed of rebellion deep within her heart. Since Reona wasn't going to, CHUĀ² took it upon herself to nurture that seed, to water it with a well-placed challenge to leave her old self behind, and to give it sunlight through letting her do what she wants, wear what she wants, and go wild like she truly wanted to.
Facing this much kindness for the first time (even if it was wrapped in CHUĀ²'s usual brand of protective abrasiveness), is it really a surprise that Reona would attach to her this much?
The day PAREO was born is also the day she found her Favorite Person. A Favorite Person (or FP) is a role that is filled by somebody in a person with BPD's life, usually someone who was percieved as showing them kindness or love on a level the person with BPD didn't expect to recieve. The relationship is marked with deep devotion, dependence, and an intense fear of abandonment, which are all aspects you can find in CHUĀ² and PAREO's relationship. PAREO sees CHUĀ² as her Master, as someone who's near-perfect, and as someone she needs to live. Nearly every time we see PAREO look upset, worried or sad, it most likely concerns CHUĀ² in some way. Even in comedic moments, where PAREO's smile almost never fades, whenever CHUĀ² threatens to disrupt their friendship, the keyboardist shows clear distress.
And, of course, during BanG Dream! 3rd Season's second half, we see their relationship tested as CHUĀ²'s anger issues accidently deeply hurt PAREO.
Of course, the smaller girl's words were overly harsh, but PAREO's reaction says a lot about the inner workings of her mind too. Being called useless once is enough to make her feel like she has to vanish on the spot, "kill" PAREO, and return to her quiet, unfulfilling life as Reona, the honor student. She thinks she's made a mistake, and she can't be forgiven for it, so she might as well just leave forever. No one will come get her, anyway. The sound design in this scene makes this reasoning clear, as a sound effect gives the impression of PAREO's mental state "snapping", causing her to run away.
This black-and-white thinking is another trait which is very common in people with BPD, and we also see that thinking in the way she sees herself. Reona's clear separation of herself and PAREO as two different people is an aspect of hers that has been very deeply discussed. To her, Reona is ugly, boring, depressingly perfect, and unloveable despite that perfection, while PAREO is free, adorable, sociable, and desired, be it as a friend or as a rising celebrity. One aspect of BPD that PAREO doesn't represent often is the hatred one can feel despite themselves (as seen in Uika in BanG Dream! Ave Mujica), but she does show that negativity towards herself, at the very least.
This black-and-white (or light-and-dark) theming is even directly alluded to in dialogue by PAREO in the anime, with her referring to her past as Reona as "the darkness" in 2nd Season, and then bathing her in light as PAREO in the final episode of 3rd Season!
(This is also mirrored more explicitly in the Bless Your ReBirthday event!)
Whenever PAREO shows weakness, a trait she associates with Reona, she immediately feels the need to apologize, calling herself "pathetic" in a bid to devalue herself as a sort of repentance for said weakness.
Note: while she is wearing Reona's clothes in the scene above, her use of "CHUĀ²-sama" indicates that this is indeed "PAREO" talking, as "Reona" uses "Chiyu" to refer to her.
CHUĀ² is not the only person to matter to PAREO, of course; she has many other friends, be it in RAISE A SUILEN, or in other bands. In order to not make this already-long post even longer, we'll only focus on RAS here.
PAREO is shown to have very close friendships with both LOCK and LAYER, as well as a love-hate relationship with MASKING, which solidifies itself as a true friendship as they get to know one another better.
LOCK is the one responsible for breaking through Reona's self-hatred first during BanG Dream! 3rd Season. Seeing MASKING's attempts to bring her back to the band falling on deaf ears, she steps up, and asks her a simple question.
This dismissal of her own wishes is something I'm intimately familiar with myself, as a person with BPD. I'm sure that her sentence, had she finished it, would have been along the lines of "That's not important" or "That's not relevant". "Please don't ask about what I want, I don't even know myself".
As for LAYER, she shares one of my favorite events with PAREO in Garupa, that being Reach for Twinkling Stars. In Chapter 5 of that event, we see PAREO confiding in LAYER, telling her about her concerns with being good enough for RAS, before breaking down, trusting her with her raw, vulnerable feelings in a fleeting moment.
LAYER's choice of words here is honestly perfect; I've lost count of the amount of times I've asked my loved ones to reassure me that they wouldn't leave me or hate me for my percieved shortcomings, and it's also something I've seen reflected in many of my friends with BPD's worries. As was said above, fear of abandonment is a very prominent fear in people with BPD, and the fact that PAREO is "risking" such a thing by being so vulnerable around LAYER shows how far she's come from her early days in RAS, even if she's still got a long way to go.
I unfortunately don't have as much to say regarding her relationship with MASKING, but that's mainly due to their own event (Dash!!āMy Dear) being more comedic in tone. That being said, I do think MASKING is a wonderful influence on PAREO: MASKING is the Mad Dog, a wild girl who is seen as a troublemaker that can't be controlled by anybody. By contrast, Reona is a serious, polite, well-behaved girl to her peers. Meeting MASKING undoubtedly influenced PAREO to let herself be more honest with her own heart, letting her make waves as one of the rebellious members of RAISE A SUILEN.
There is one more member of RAS that we should examine, though, and that is herself!
A discussion of a character's BPD would not be complete without examining the way they think about themselves, and there's certainly a lot to say about PAREO.
As was mentioned above, PAREO sees herself and her very identity as two opposite halves of a whole, to the point of referring to herself in the third person as PAREO and in first person as Reona. This duality is even shown with her cards in Garupa, with PAREO usually being happy and smiling, and Reona usually being shown downcast and crying.
However, ever since the Bless Your ReBirthday event, this seems to no longer be the case! We've started getting cards depicting Reona happy, and PAREO more downcast (or at least, not all smiles), which seems to indicate to me that her two halves are beginning to merge to make her into a more well-rounded self.
Of course, that isn't to say that PAREO was incapable of looking sad before this, or that Reona couldn't ever smile either. But this shift in direction in the cards seems intentional to me (seriously, look at the post-ReBirthday PAREO trained cards VS the pre-ReBirthday ones. She shows a much bigger range of emotions after compared to before). There are also much fewer Reona cards than PAREO ones, so it's difficult to draw a definitive conclusion at this time.
Still, the meaning of this is twofold: first, it means that Reona is starting to be happier in her usually-unfulfilling school life, and second, it shows that PAREO is more willing to show vulnerability around her band and her friends, instead of being the unbreakable keyboardist maid. She is letting her whole self shine through in every aspect of her life slowly, instead of her life being fractured in two, which is indicative of recovery! She really has come far from hiding her place of residence and true name in the anime...
Conclusion: PAREO's Impact and Legacy
This is all well and good, but how did this ambition turn out? Was introducing themes of mental health like those a positive or negative impact on BanG Dream!?
Well, I can only speak for my own experience, but I think it was a rousing success. PAREO's writing does not feel gratuitous or misguided. It feels like an honest attempt to portray a traumatized girl struggling with a disorder which is so often misunderstood, and finding her people in this band of chaotic, rebellious girls.
On top of this, PAREO is consistently seen as a great character in the fandom, with her merch being very sought-after and expensive in the second-hand market (though that's also because of how damn cute she is). In general, I've never really seen any negative opinions on the character, which is a good sign!
Something I've also noticed regarding RAISE A SUILEN in general is that it felt like a half-step between the mainly light-hearted antics of the original five bands and the drama portrayed in MyGO!!!!! and Ave Mujica's writing. It seems to me that Bandori's writers wanted to experiment with PAREO's story to write two other characters in the next two bands, those being Soyo and especially Uika, who I both see as examples of BPD representation as well. Soyo's "two-faced" demeanor seems to emulate the PAREO/Reona duality on top of her fear of Sakiko leaving her and CRYCHIC behind, while Uika in particular I would argue is just canonically a character with BPD, no ifs and buts about it. Between her having Sakiko as an FP, her splitting on Mutsumi in the fabled stair scene, and her traumatic childhood, she ticks all the boxes to an even more pronounced extent than PAREO.
Staying on topic, though, it makes me happy that characters like PAREO are out there. As someone with BPD, seeing representation this meaningful in anime makes me incredibly happy, and even in the event that this giant essay is all in my head, I'm just happy that I'm able to identify myself with these silly band girls so much!
If you read all of this, thank you so much! I hope the image quality didn't get butchered by Tumblr too much. See you next time!
sorry bro ive been too busy for the past 24 years becoming more and more suicidal to care about anything or to ever trust anyone or to believe anyone would help
growing up is terrifying i wasnāt supposed to make it this far and now my future depends on me and i have to make wise choices and decisions and iām just sitting here like a clueless little kid
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