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@blueshadeofgreen
a playlist for adventures.
songs to explore to.
tunes for rendezvous'.
listen. like. enjoy.
XO - AO
October. It's getting chilly.
I went to my storage unit today to swap my flip flops and breezy tunics for boots and chunky sweaters. Upon pulling it open, i found myself standing there in the autumn breeze, staring, bewildered, at all my stuff. SO much stuff. What am i doing with all this stuff? Furthermore, what is all my stuff STILL doing in here? And I wonder if anyone from Storage Wars would bid on this unit?
And then it dawned on me. Perhaps I have a serious aversion to commitment. Perhaps I haven't updated that resume not out of pure laziness, but because I don't want to find a 'real' job. Perhaps I haven't gotten caught up in a relationship because I know deep down inside I'm not looking for one. Perhaps I'm all too willing to run far, far away, for an undisclosed period of time, because that's when I feel most alive. That is when I'm happiest.
As I'm thinking this I spot a ball of white, fuzzy dog fur attached to the corner of a box, and I choke up at the thought of my Cali gal and how much I miss her. I think of how she was the one really, REALLY pulling me back here in the first place, and all of a sudden, that part of my life is over. And it's so strange to think that I won't ever again wake up to the jangling of her dog tags, or have her lick my ankles when I step out of the shower, or have her rub her nose to my face when I get home... and all of this breaks my heart. Totally, utterly, completely crushed.
But at the same time, perhaps it frees my soul a bit, just as it does hers.
Bouncing over a white cloud, killing the blues.
XO - ALO
thursday. LOVE thursday. i get to see this for double the ticket's face value. i'm already thanking myself for the purchase.
This = necessity.
This makes me smile. This makes me cry. This is what dreams are made of.
here goes...
What. am. i. doing?
I find myself, at 28 years young, more confused than ever. I am a college graduate. I am an experienced professional. I am a world traveler. I am a sister, daughter, and maid of honor. I am a dog lover, concert go-er, and bubble blower. A tea sipping, skinny dipping, turquoise loving gal with a bit of a Peter Pan complex and a whole lot of wanderlust.
I live with my parents. I'm a waitress and bartender in American suburbia. Last week, I held the face of my beloved pup as she died, and followed it up with the wedding of my only sister. I am enamored with a man on another continent. I keep telling myself this is all a 'blip' in this journey of my life...
But isn't that what it's all about? The journey. Yes. YES. It's not the destination, it's the journey. It's the now. Right freaking now, folks.
Right now, I want to wander when the feeling strikes. I want to show up at the airport and impulsively buy a plane ticket. I want to take a road trip to New Orleans. I want to appreciate the long shadows cast by the afternoon sun. I want to make someone's day. I want to give obscene amounts of hugs and greet friends and strangers alike with the Euro kiss-kiss. I want to run through a field of blooming lavender. I want to demand that all birthday cakes have sparkler candles, pet every dog that passes me, and laugh so hard I cry.
They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. This, no doubt, a baby step... but a step none-the-less.
I'm on a mission, a mission to be as happy and bursting with love as I was when I would walk my dog on sunny day by the river. As happy as I was jumping into the turquoise waters of Malaysia, wandering the hills of Jamaica, and looking out an Indian bus window and catching my first glimpse of the holy Himalayas.
And so, here goes... wish me luck.
Bless,
XO - ALO