Please feel free to ignore me rambling on again about how Cobra Kai relates to my personal life, but this is the only place I feel I have the security to do so.
Since the Netflix release, this is the first time I've been able to sit down and watch both seasons properly again since I became homeless.
I recently lost my father, through choice, but because he's a lot like Sid and Kreese. It was tearing me apart and emotionally draining me, and it wasn't until this show that I realised I needed to be free from him. It meant I'd lose the place I'd spent roughly 16 years in, but I've still got the things that matter most to me and I'm safer than before.
It feels hard at times when I remember that I don't have a father-figure. I actually never had one, I just lived with someone who had that title of "father". I feel hurt that I missed out on so many things that I saw my friends doing with their dads and I blamed myself for it. I'm a little fearful that now I'm an adult, I've completely lost my chance of finding a father-figure and doing all those things I missed.
I know Cobra Kai is about a lot of things, but it does have a strong father-figure theme going on, just like The Karate Kid does and watching it gives me this weird sense of joy I never felt before. Sure, it's not real life, but seeing these kids find these people who believe in them, want to teach them things and seeing how much it means to them just does something to me that I can't even explain.
It does kind of hurt because I can't even relate to it, but it also warms my heart because when they do show those important bonding moments throughout, you can see how much it means to those characters.
I'd say I've learnt a hell of a lot more from this show over the last few years than I ever have from my own father. If it wasn't for this show and going to comic con last year, I fear I'd probably still be stuck desperately trying to hold onto something that would only keep hurting me.
I owe this show a lot. I don't think I'll ever be able to truly express it. I hope everyone involved knows how important this show is and how life-changing it can be to people.
Those moments (and the whole show in general) mean the world to me. I'm just thankful for it, and I'm trying to stay hopeful that I'll know what it feels like one day.
Most importantly, from seeing what happened to Johnny in S2 - I know I can never go back to the person who caused me so much pain. And now I should probably sleep.
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