chapter two.

Blue - 17 - Wallflower - Ocean 

[siickangel]

The Front Bottoms // If It Were Up To Me

[sunsbleeding]

Lonely Eyes - The Front Bottoms https://www.instagram.com/sunlightafterdark/?hl=en

[niceaf]

Pleaser // Wallows

[lestatsdelioncort]

HAPPINESS // HOBO JOHNSON

[bluestarwishes427]

ONLY FRIEND

ITS A CONSTANT BATTLE WITH YOU/ GRITTING TEETH SO HARD THEY FALL OUT/ JUST TO ATTEMPT TO NOT HURT YOU/ I EXCUSED YOUR FAULTS WITH EVERY STAR/ I BELIEVED THE SENSITIVITY YOU TOLD ME I CONTAINED/ YOU TURNED ME INTO AN ILLNESS THAT COULD’NT BE HEALED/ THEN ABANDONED ME WHEN I WAS CLOSE TO HEAVEN/ YOU CONVINCED ME I MADE UP HALF OF WHAT I LEARNED AND TAUGHT ME YOUR WAYS/ THE BIRDS THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE PLUCKING MY EYES OUT WERE JUST FUNNY/ THAT HE WAS JUST TOUCH STARVED/ THAT LEAVING ME IN A RED RIDDEN ROOM WAS A SPORT YOU WERE GOOD AT/ THAT YOU DIDN’T NEED TO APOLOGIZE BECAUSE YOU COULD DO NO WRONG/ I EXCUSED YOUR ACTIONS WITH THE MOON/ THAT YOUR TORMENT HAPPENED MONTHLY/ THAT I WAS THE LEAD ACTRESS IN YOUR PLAY/ THE ROPE YOU THREATENED TO HANG YOURSELF WITH WAS A MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION OF BULLET WOUNDS FOR ME/ SHOOTING PERFECTLY LINED TEETH INTO THE BACK OF WHERE I WILL NEVER REACH/ AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW THEY LEAVE/ SO TELL ME, ONLY FRIEND/ DO YOU KNOW WHY THE STARS TELL ME TO GO?

2/16/2021

[powerburial]

Love me or hate me, you cant deny I’m bringing something to the table. Might not be good might not be bad but something’s definitely on the table now. Take it or leave it but something good or bad is on the table and I put it there

[abismadora]

[bluestarwishes427]

midnight conversations i need to have.

Why do you say such horrid things about yourself?

I say them so others don’t get the chance to steal my line. Because it hurts more when it comes from somebody else. Especially from someone you look up to.  So why not hurt my own feelings before they do? Be the bully before they have the chance to bully you again.  

That isn’t a real reason.  

Sure it is.  I’ve been told all of the awful things people have said to me.  I repeat it until I can take it apart and feel nothing at all.  When you’re able to desensitize yourself things don’t phase you.  

But don’t you want to feel? Isn’t that what makes us all human?

I mean, yeah, but isn’t better to break your own heart before someone else breaks it? So you don’t have to deal with the pain of not having control.  Being the broken heart hurts more than it does to break one.  It’s so easy to break a heart.  Even if it’s someone you care deeply for.  Because we are all human.  We put ourselves first before any other. 

- 4/11/2020

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

Your pillows are made of violets and your bed of roses, night after night I’ve longed for you,

Nikos Kazantzakis, tr. by Kimon Friar, from Modern Greek Poetry; “The Death of Odysseus,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[bluestarwishes427]

It’s the fast cars

And the runaway boys

Keeping pocketknives in the glove compartment

And my heart in their back pocket

It’s the way they grin

When they know they’re scaring the living shit out of you

And how they know how to annoy you

But you always find it funny

It’s the high-fives in the hallways

And the smiles you reflect back

He says he does this with everyone

But you can’t but feel special

You can’t help but feel alive

Can’t help but feel free

You start to feel like the rock songs your dad showered you with as a child

Like the polaroids they keep on the fridge

You feel timeless and infinite

Like you’re living the life you’ve always wanted

You’ve become the wondered

The questions behind your eyes

The youth who kept living

No matter the consequences

You have become

The crowbar fights in the back of trucks

Broken collarbones on railroad tracks

And the kid who can’t help but fall for the tragic side characters

The comic relief

The bad guy

The runaway boy

May you always remind me that my heart still beats

Even on the days

When my eyes don’t shine

[fitzgeraldquotes]

F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Debutante

[bluestarwishes427]

its fucking funny/ how I don’t mean a thing to some people/ I’m just an object they can throw around/ an old bone they grab when there’s nothing left/ the last fucking choice/ and I break down/ they come running/ when my lungs forgot how to breathe/ girls I didn’t even know came to rescue me/ they held me and told me how they’d been through similar/ and suddenly it was about them/ and the bruises on my rib cage meant nothing/ now I’m just the broken toy they fix up/ when I’m crying they’re here/ when I’m smiling I’m nothing but dust/ and I don’t want to be fucking dust anymore/ I’m not something for you to fix and then break again/ I’m tired of being in the same loop of hurt/ the play with characters that keep switching parts/ I want honesty and loyalty/ I’m tired of putting my stone body/ into glass hands/ that shake under my weight/ so they grab another pair/ but I’m just too heavy/ and this feeling of falling never goes away/ it’s fucking funny/ how I cut my hair and said I would change/ that I wouldn’t be the typical friend in every movie piece/ that I would be the star in my own film/ it’s fucking funny/ how I thought I could change in a week/ but I guess once you’re stuck in a role/ you’re just there/ it’s a treadmill/ and I’ll either fall off/ or believe I can outrun it/ funny enough/ I have asthma/ thanks to whoever created this part.

[flannelwillfixit]

Sickening Sixteen

Just yesterday I was singing about waiting to be sixteen and what it might be like

Today I reminisce on my younger years like a war from distant history

I fought to get this far, but was it really worth the fight

To wake up in a new era and feel the exact same, always so far from victory?

I’m starting to think the numbers don’t make a difference

One year since you left me, three since she left the earth, six since they split

Though the time has buried some of the scars under the mountain of reverence

Not even carefully learned ignorance can completely conceal how I’ve lost it

I’ve fallen into the trap I told myself I’d never get caught in

Gladly lead into a box of promises, eyes covered by society’s blindfold

When I realized there was no escape, asphyxiation had already set in

Tangled up in the mundane ropes that burn me when I contest their hold

Sometimes my eyes turn green when I think of the people

Who can wake up in the morning and feel alright about their boring life

Why did I have to be born a wanderer, never finding peace in peaceful?

And how did I allow myself to be attracted by the glint of a familiar knife?

I don’t want this life I’ve made for myself

A kindergarten project I crafted all alone out of unwanted objects

So I’ll stick it to the fridge door and grab an empty book from the shelf

Pen in hand, I turn the page and write down my future and all of its prospects

-This is the year I go from damsel to hero

23/12

[writeouswriter]

[bluestarwishes427]

forest eyes.

stars in my stomach

butterflies in my eyes

golden days fill the skies

yellows + blues mix

my trickster smile

your undying wit

we float between cotton candy lies

watching water tear them apart

with my fingers spread out

and us arm in arm

I skip + dance

you laugh + glance

my way with your forest eyes

then I’m just a girl

+ you’re just a guy.

[justalineinasong0]

Waterparks - HIGH DEFINITION

[justalineinasong0]

Requested by Anon

One Direction - What A Feeling