Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
EXPECTATIONS
The Stonewall Inn
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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tannertan36
wallacepolsom
One Nice Bug Per Day
Mike Driver
ojovivo
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@bluetelescope
white people: mike brown robbed that store!
Lawyer: no he didn’t
Store owners: nope
Eye witnesses: nah
white people:
white people: MIKE BROWN ROBBED THAT STORE
people who are paying attention: hey hey did you know that robbing a store is not actually grounds for an extrajudicial execution anyway
Guyssss i got the job!!!!
Just letting you know that i got a call today :) and hopefully this is finally going to be my week and everything will fall into place. thanks to everybody for all the support and love or just for reading my stuff. i really appreciate it :) ill keep this thing updated i mean nothis is written on stone but i hope this is finally it. if not, well, i gotta keep looking :)
Once again, for anyone reading all the shit on this blog: this isnt like me all the time im not always depressed or anything i just come here when im feeling really sad (which has happened very often lately) but um yea im kinda having a hard time right now. Thanks to everybody for the sweet messages. You people are the best i swear:) ilove you god bless you
I would gladly give it all away. I just wish i didnt exist. i wish i didnt have to fulfill everyones goddamn expectations and especially my own. I wish my future didnt rely on other people choices. I just wish a lot of things were different, like i shouldnt have spent my four goddamn years of university being a fucking nerd and eating all the damn books, studying so damn hard for exams, preparing so damn well for every presentation if in the end, what does my goddamn 4.0 gpa mean? nothing at all. nobody really cares. at least not in this retarded country where they want us to slave in their fricken factories. I mean i know deep in my heart that theres no one who fucking deserves a job more than i do right now, and not because of my grades or anything, a grade cant tell you about a persons capability but i know i can do better, i have proved myself and look at me. Im two weeks away from starting the new semester and handing in my pre-project, and welll, i have nothing. ive been to like 745}54 interviews, theyve called me from places but im just not good enough to stay anywhere they always choose somebody else. How can you build self steem and self confidence if they destroy you, if they tell you exactly the oppossite. does it fucking mean i cant do the goddamn job but you fucking hired the asshole of the class who can fucking speak better than i can? well fuck you i diddnt ask to have this motherfucking personality like forreal i would give everything not to be as awkward as i have been for the last 10 years. i mean i have wasted my whole life. i have no fucking real friends, my boyfriend acts like a goddamn ass sometimes and im just left here everygoddamn night crying my fucking heart out like its my fault. wondering what the fuck i have been doing wrong all these years. I HAVE DONE FUCKING NOTHING BUT WORK MY ASS OFF ALL THE TIME, TRY TO BE FUCKING NICE TO PEOPLE WHO DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME, WORKING 250% MORE TO GET WHAT I WANT, I LOST MONEY I LOST TIME I FUCKING SOLD MY SOUL AND LOOK AT ME. I mean i know im not perfect but seriously, do i deserve this??? i just dont want this anymore. I dont want my life anymore i dont want any of these people id rather be alone in a room pretending that i dont exist, i dont care about how its gonna be in 10 years, its not gonna be any fucking better cause it never has since i can remember. and you know why? its because i always overestimate myself like i should have the best in the world like im capable of doing everything, acting like a moron, turning down offers that i dont believe are good enough for me, but GOSH fucking define good enough? i mean look at me. im just a failure i dont want this. i really dont. i just wish we didnt have to figure out our fucking lives at this age. i wish i would have actually enjoyed any of my youth years, now theyre gone all gone and im here not having a clue of whats going to happen next. i just. no. this wasnt supposed to happen like this. i didnt sign up for this. i didnt
I dont want to fucking live this life anymore
At least the only person i wanted to call me tonight did and thats what matters. Hes the only thing that feels right at the moment
Is it even like in human nature to just do things for people all the time and not wanting them to be there when you need it too?? I mean is it even hard? How hard? Ive got too many queations in my head right now
Seriously how do you stop expecting things from people???? I really need to know to at least try
what else could go wrong? how can things be this bad for so long? isnt it suppossed to be hard for a while and then get better? in a really nonsuicidal way, im not saying i would take my life but i really wouldnt mind being dead.
I dont know if i can handle all the drama that comes with being part of this family.
i need to stop this shit
i dont want to be myself anymore.
i hate myself too much today
some role model he got himself. I hope he doesnt grow up to be like me. Ive got a messed up head, i steal things, i lie a lot, i have countless mental disorders, god i dont want that for my little brother. and the fact that he does everythingexactly the way i do is just.not.okay.
okay ive had it im done.
im on class. i love it bye
