why you (don't) want a jay marshmarrows, pt. 3:
reason 1: they don't want you
i meant to play this season alone, no teammates or allegiances whatsoever. i wanted to be a neutral force who worked for anyone willing to pay.
that's what the original slideshow was about. it was an attempt to put people off of teaming with me. to tell them that i wouldn't care about them.
reason 3: they will betray you
early season was meant to be temporary and strategic. we would gear up together with the understanding that we would eventually go our separate ways.
reason 4: they're not very good
the early deaths were embarrassing for me. i truly thought it was over for a bit after day one. but the only thing that got me through it was that i wasn't doing it alone.
reason 5: again, they don't want you
that's part of why i wanted to stick around, really. not because mari got me hearts or vio made the villager breeder necessarily, but just because they were there. we'd seen each other at low points not even two days into the season. i didn't know how to leave after that.
and honestly, the whole powerpoint was just full of lies. i was just scared that i wouldn't be wanted no matter what. or that i would be wanted as someone i wasn't. if i pushed everyone away first, maybe it would hurt less to be rejected.
why you (do) want a jay marshmarrows, pt 2:
reason 1: it doesn't matter. you can't have them.
i wouldn't be anywhere without my day ones. that experience has fundamentally changed me as a person and i am forever grateful. mari and vio, thank you for experiencing hell with me <3
amandla
baratheonpilled
origamiaround
izzy806
