𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲 𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓭,,,

𝓬𝔀,,, 48𝓴𝓰𝓼 𝓹𝓻𝓸 𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂

[sw155lbs]

[losegainlose]

My ed is so weird

Like I'm afraid of rice, but I can have rice cakes

I can have cola zero, but not if its in a bottle, it can only be in a can.

I don't mind chips, but i wont eat potatoes. I just, i don't understand man.

[kingsleighyer]

[lxvelybonesx]

Eating disorder logic

- I’m lonely I’m going to isolate myself - I’m hungry I’m going to starve - I’m full I’m going to eat - I feel enormous I’m going to binge now - I can tell I’ve lost weight I’m never eating again - I’m happy I’m going to trigger myself - I’m sad I’m going to pretend I’m fine - gum has 5 calories no - ice cream has a million calories I’m going to eat a whole 7 pints

[blossombones]

Last night🌲 Weighed in 102 this morning🐇 never pro Ana just using tags

[blushmeskinny]

jesus I want to look like this

[malisoun-deactivated20200727]

How do you fall back in love with life?

clean your room.  clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesn’t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders.  clean the dishes.  sweep.  take out the trash.  peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them.  take a long shower.  scrub behind your knees.  brush your teeth.  (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can.  the end result is worth it.)

pull out your notebook.  it doesn’t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you don’t usually write in, or that you haven’t touched in a while.  fuck moleskins.  the yellow legal pad will work fine.  sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list.  count clouds.  describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise.  sketch the cracks in the walls.  note the shape light makes when it enters a space.  talk about what the air tastes like, smells like.  what sounds are there?  even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything.  remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail.  remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness.  your world is fathomless.  it has potential.

drink cold water and try to eat something that isn’t processed.  it does not need to be fancy.  buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions.  eat it outside.  if you’re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs.  take your fucking meds.  remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body.  your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesn’t change its inherent worth and splendor.  take care of it.

read a novel.  underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen.  read a novel like it’s poetry.  read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious.  watch a movie you haven’t seen before.  if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one.  take your time.  let yourself bask.  if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down – marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.

your chosen family is important.  remember, they picked you as much as you picked them.  the love has no obligation.  it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion.  you are not a burden.  if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people.  when they need you, listen and be gracious.  always be gracious.  the universe sometimes remembers things like that.

listen to new music.  link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that.  listen to something that you don’t usually listen to.  we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music.  we are falling in love again.  the soundtrack needs to be specific to that.  

allow yourself to indulge in romantics.  press flowers in old books.  play movies with subtitles and mouth the words.  dance in your room.  wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldn’t wear it in public.  write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them.  write poetry, even awful poetry.  revel in its awfulness.  eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market.  

[aljdkskjx]

reblogging for myself because life has been beating me down lately

[tired-soles]

Honestly, I’m at my best when my ed is at it’s worst. My room is clean, I dress nice, I wash my face more, I whiten my teeth, I wear makeup, I do my hair. For some reason the only thing that pulls my out of my depression spiral is my ed and the only thing that pulls me out of my ed is my depression. Idk if anyone else feels like that? Idk I just always feel better when I’m losing weight and excersizing and not eating. Idk maybe it’s my body thinks I’m finally being healthy? But I’m not? So… idk, it’s just really weird.

[ada-atrophy]

I’m in this post and I don’t like it.

[skinnbonesplz]

I’ve tried to put this into words so many times but couldn’t and this is exactly how I feel

[cupcakeugly]

Motivational sharks are here for you!

[ohnoit-deactivated20210622]

STORY OF MY FUCKING LIFE

[nick-avallone]

[anaas-bitchh]

Jimin has the most beautiful body and you can't change my mind.

[corsolanite]

[baptizm-deactivated20200524]

This is Self Care Charizard. Reblog whenever you need a temporary release from whatever stresses you currently have.

[monarobot]

need this so bad

[deadinparadice]

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

Depression Hotline:[phone]

Suicide Hotline:[phone]

LifeLine:1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project:1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support:1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline:[phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault:1-800-656-4673

Grief Support:1-650-321-5272

Runaway:1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale:After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse:1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem):08457909090 e-mail [email protected]

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem):08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information):0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice):0300 466 6463 [email protected]

b-eat eating disorder support:0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders):08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care:08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]

Frank (information and advice on drugs):0800776600

Drinkline:0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales:0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]

Rape Crisis Scotland:08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline:[phone]

India Suicide Helpline:022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada):1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7

suicide hotlines;

Argentina:54-0223-493-0430

Australia:13-11-14

Austria:01-713-3374

Barbados:429-9999

Belgium:106

Botswana:391-1270

Brazil:21-233-9191

China:852-2382-0000

(Hong Kong:2389-2222)

Costa Rica:606-253-5439

Croatia:01-4833-888

Cyprus:357-77-77-72-67

Czech Republic:222-580-697, 476-701-908

Denmark:70-201-201

Egypt:762-1602

Estonia:6-558-088

Finland:040-5032199

France:01-45-39-4000

Germany:0800-181-0721

Greece:1018

Guatemala:502-234-1239

Holland:0900-0767

Honduras:504-237-3623

Hungary:06-80-820-111

Iceland:44-0-8457-90-90-90

India:022 2754 6669

Israel:09-8892333

Italy:06-705-4444

Japan:3-5286-9090

Latvia:6722-2922, 2772-2292

Malaysia:03-756-8144

(Singapore:1-800-221-4444)

Mexico:525-510-2550

Netherlands:0900-0767

New Zealand:4-473-9739

New Guinea:675-326-0011

Nicaragua:505-268-6171

Norway:47-815-33-300

Philippines:02-896-9191

Poland:52-70-000

Portugal:239-72-10-10

Russia:8-20-222-82-10

Spain:91-459-00-50

South Africa:0861-322-322

South Korea:2-715-8600

Sweden:031-711-2400

Switzerland:143

Taiwan:0800-788-995

Thailand:02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago:868-645-2800

Ukraine:0487-327715

[peeterparkr]

Y O U     C A N    D O    T H I S !

[sknniboiii]

me, 16 hours into a fast, drinking peppermint tea and watching counting calories for amberlynn reid videos

[caloriesannoyme]

when someone interrupts you looking at thinspo

[baepsa-ed]

my ed coming back during recovery to come join my other mental illnesses: