There isn't much to say other than it didn't used to seem like a forced gesture. Some parts use to have major consideration of the other person, not a mouthful of ego sparing. Mostly there's no serious romance,even during the hard times.
Some people ask the question if you could do it all over again, what would you do? Perhaps, I'd grow myself first, I'd realize disrespect the first couple of times was enough and exist for good. I've realized being a good man, isn't of value.
I've come to notice women cheat more than men,even less considerate, some are too broken too ever be fixed and most of the time there's no joy. If i did it over. There are parts of me, that wish I'd had just saw her and truly known her for who she really was.
It is truly unevenly yoked and for some reason, there's something inside of me that just wants a friend. A loyal,trustworthy,faithful and honest friend. Someone who i mesh well with in adventures, the calm to my choas and I the rain for their drought. You get it !!!!
This chapter is about to close soon and I've given more chances than a hooked gives blow-jobs. When she said, "what is it that you do for me", "what have you ever done"? My silent power slowly starts to come back and I've realized,for the life that I desire,my spirit may not require what it once did.
There's not really anything that can be given to me from this person as I know it. The deceitfullness at a young age didn't help,particularly already having children. The small lies of saying their traveling nights were horrible but text messages state different.
The moment they told me i wasn't a friend and the iceberg,(fucking with my mind). This chapter will close silently, like a book that had been read all too well, a book that gave hope,inspiration and details of a life, a first generation family in the becoming.
When I close this chapter, i have a feeling I won't fight, I won't try harder. I've seen all I've needed to see, both have endured enough for a lifetime and the spark is gone. The trust is gone and the bond is gone. The way they look at me is either disgust or hate, and to think they could have had anything but they won't (untapped potential).
Don't get me wrong she will change, she just won't change for me. She will grow, learn and be truthful, just not for me. Here's to the Chapter that may bring me back alive,to the chapter of "no talks,no speeches or lectures". Here's to the chapter, where I know it will be read once and that one time will be more than good enough.
