A Piece of Heart

"Welcome back, master. I'll be the maid in your care today. Please follow me to your seat."

[rationalclover-blog]

♣ Happenstance

[rationalclover-blog]

⟦ ♧ ⟧ Her silence never failed to baffle him, but in this particular instance he’d been so focused on walking that he failed to notice she was falling behind. There really wasn’t much logic behind it other than the fact that he was trying to predict not only where the café was but also if the quality of its coffee beans could even compare to those at Meido no Hitsuji. There was no way to tell until he got there, but the anticipation lead him to mull over it nonetheless. 

Still, as she talked of what she knew about the new place, his attention went back to her. Finally, he walked slower to allow her to catch up.

What she said seemed promising and likely: he really didn’t want to waste his time, but he figured that wouldn’t be the case if the place had been recommended to her. That was one good thing it had going for it, at least. Of course, he didn’t know the person so he couldn’t tell for sure; but chances were this wasn’t a fluke. 

❝ Do I know this friend you’re referring to? ❞ It didn’t hurt to ask. Really, the only reason why he questioned her about it was to confirm whether what she’d been told was more likely to be true or false. He couldn’t forget though that taste was one of those senses that tended to show distinct differences from one individual to another so, honestly, the only way to properly conclude anything was to go there himself. Luckily he’d proposed this option instead of going to her workplace and reeling over it for the rest of the day.

❝ And did she tell you anything else about this café? Something about the size of the premises? the dishes she ordered? Is it a maid and butler café as well –unlikely– or is it just a common one? ❞ He figured that was enough to get the ball rolling, he really didn’t want to waste his energy on questions that would soon answer themselves, after all. 

[blutrote-rosen]

              Mai had been getting used to the short silence, eyes drifting away from the taller male and taking notice of their surroundings, realizing how the weather seemed to change. It almost felt like yesterday when it was a summer so hot, she had tried to wear sleeveless clothes as often as allowed. Now, the air felt chilly against her exposed cheeks, the tips of her fingers lightly chilled by the wind. When the sudden question was directed her way, she had to take a few seconds to realize that yes, he was talking to her, and opened her mouth to reply.

              “Hmm... While I’m not completely sure, I doubt that you do. She is a classmate of mine who doesn’t work at Meido no Hitsuji.” A university friend, that is. If by any chance Kent knew of her, she wouldn’t be overly surprised (as she was popular among her peers and a lot of people seemed to know her), there was just a good hunch that they didn’t. Besides, it would be odd for the man to know of a girl from a different university.

              Blinking rapidly three times, she gave a light nod of her head in a blur daze before she snapped out of it, running through her head for the information she knew she had. “Only a few things. The size of the cafe is fairly compact but the table settings and interior designs made her feel comforted than squeezed in.” Having said this, she wondered why the girl doesn’t try journalism as a side course. “If I’m not mistaken... Her order had been a plate of seafood carbonara, a fruit cocktail, honey bread pudding, a waffle set and a straight black.” She listed them out calmly, fingers gently folding inwards even as they hung by her sides.

              “No, it’s a normal cafe. There are waitresses with cute outfits however.” Mm? That had sounded rather weird. She had no idea why though, and just shrugged it off and put it aside. While Mai had replied to all his questions in order without question, she glanced up at him with a unreadable, curious look. Was he interested in the cafe? Or maybe... He didn’t know whether or not to trust her friend’s judgement? The latter definitely sounded more logical.

              “Um...” She started, getting his attention before it strayed. “While I suppose it’s not enough to be very convincing, my friend loves going around to taste food and is rather famous among us girls, often getting advice from her. So, I can assure you her judgement is fairly reliable...”

[blutrote-rosen]

               The weather is slowly starting to get colder. She’ll have to wear long sleeves sooner or later at this rate. Honestly, this summer had been really hot.

[rationalclover-blog]

♣ Happenstance

[rationalclover-blog]

⟦ ♧ ⟧ Her suggestions seemed more tempting than the absolute nothing he had in mind when he asked her if she’d like a drink, so he figured it’d only be fair to pick one of her choices. Still, he couldn’t straight up choose as if it were nothing. He needed to weigh out the options to try and figure out which would be the most comfortable location for him. Out of the top of his head, one thought occurred to him: if they went to Meido no Hitsuji, her coworkers would most likely question them for being there together… They’d also very likely bother them repeatedly to try and figure out the “true” purpose for their outing; he didn’t want any of those probable conversations to be even remotely close to his future reality, so… There was only one option left. 

❝ The other café sounds like a better… experience, new. So I figure going there would be more rewarding, wouldn’t you agree? ❞ He wasn’t exactly lying, but he could tell he was grasping at straws with his excuse. To be fair, telling her his actual reasons was far more embarrassing than he wanted to even think about.

Nonetheless, he walked a little faster to catch up with her; realizing he’d been moving slower while getting lost in his own reverie. Perhaps his steps went a little too far though, as he noticed he’d passed her by. She seemed to be much slower than him as a general rule so he decided to decrease the length of his steps just so they could walk side by side. 

❝ You’ll have to tell me where it is exactly once we get there, I don’t think I’ve paid enough attention to notice a café in that area. ❞ He really should’ve, though, the train station was extremely close to his house and he’d taken more than enough walks through there. He’d take a mental note to be more observant about stores and the like in the future, it wouldn’t do to be so distracted that he couldn’t even notice changes in his general vicinity. 

[blutrote-rosen]

            Had it been a mistake to suggest Meido no Hitsuji? He didn’t seem to hate the idea, but possibly dissatisfied? Or troubled? She couldn’t help herself but wonder if there was someone he was trying to avoid there. Or if the coffee in their store wasn’t to his liking. The coffee in their shop had lots of different blends, but they were mostly light and smooth, not as dark as other stores unless they were making mixed coffees like latte and the sort. If he was fond of darker, stronger coffee like Ikki, that would make sense. Though, she remembers this man teasing her boyfriend for being a coffee mania once long ago.

            This thought was getting out of hand.

            Mai gave him a smile and nodded at his answer. Realizing he had fallen behind, she was about to slow down her steps. However, before she could do so, the man had walked forward, passing her and taking the lead for a moment. She smiled slightly, a bit amused and possibly finding the act a bit endearing. Don’t get her wrong, it was merely as a friend! She just thought it was kind of cute, and wondered if Ikki would ever do something like that, since he was much taller than her too. Then her thoughts led her to one thought to another and... That’s how it made her think that way. ‘Cute’? Ah, how embarrassing it would be if Kent could read minds. She was here with said person’s best friend yet her mind was drifting off about him.

            “Ah, of course.” She replied hurriedly, snapping out of her own thoughts as the fingers holding her handbag curled around the strap a little tighter, trying to hide her embarrassment by squeezing the unfortunate object. Don’t let him find out you were daydreaming, not now. Not when it’s barely been ten minutes since you two started talking.

            “It’s still fairly new and it’s at a inner corner, so it wouldn’t be odd for you to not have seen it.” That was one of the reasons why she was asked to go take a look after all. A new ‘enemy’ to research or something along those lines.  “I actually had no idea as well, until a friend informed me of it.” She started again, her grip loosening as she calmed down. “She said that what she had tasted good, so I think it won’t be a miss.” It would be incredibly awkward if the shop she introduced sold really awful food after all.

[rationalclover-blog]

♣ Happenstance

[rationalclover-blog]

⟦ ♧ ⟧ His eyebrows were still raised with surprise when she replied. He really couldn’t believe how he’d been so distracted not to notice her… So much so that he couldn’t avoid chuckling. The more he thought about it, the more he laughed; it was unstoppable. Still, eventually the laughter died down and left a huge smile on his face along with small happy tears he had to wipe away. 

❝ I’m not sure how long I’ve been here, actually. But if you started that book when you sat down, then… I guess it wouldn’t be too hard to guess that you were here first. ❞

He really should’ve been more careful, but it was too late now. Despite the situation, the surprise had been extremely pleasant after all; perhaps with the exception of the slight pain he now felt in his cheeks. But it was too little a price to pay for such a nice outcome.

❝ We need to be more observant, huh? Though I guess it could’ve been worse… ❞ Right as he said that, a gust of wind blew past them, chilling his body more than the previous shock.

❝ Should we leave? The sun will be coming down soon, and it’s getting quite cold outside. Perhaps it’d be wiser if we went inside somewhere. ❞ Then, it occurred to him.  ❝ I’d like to have some coffee… perhaps this way we could… catch up, yes? ❞ It was a really awkward thing to say; he hadn’t prepared himself for such a social interaction. Yet the surprise of it all had taken some weight off of it. Of course it still was difficult for him to invite her to coffee, but he’d tried his best to make his logic sound. He just hoped that his words had been enough to clue her in even though he hadn’t explicitly asked her to accompany him to a coffee shop.

[blutrote-rosen]

        Had she been that distracted to have not noticed his presence? It seems she has, with this situation now. Honestly, she wasn’t always that blur (Nowadays. She can’t account for what happened during those months), but maybe it was just her becoming a bit too mellow due to her satisfaction with her life right now. Mm... Silently, she notes to herself to pay more attention to her surroundings from now on, just in case something bad occurs. It was luck that the man sitting next to her was Kent. If not, it could have been fine and it might not have been. Better safe than sorry.

        At his suggestion to go somewhere else and ‘catch up’, as he put it, she couldn’t help but give a light chuckle. Not to be rude, but as they weren’t the most closest of friends, even she felt a slight awkwardness and was uncertain how to talk. At least he was trying, and she really appreciated that.

        Giving a glance to her watch, she turned back to the male and gave a nod along with a soft ‘yes’. She had plenty of time left to go grocery shopping for dinner after a cup of coffee or tea. “Of course, that would be nice.” Mai stood up, lightly patting down the skirt of her dress, readjusting the strap of her handbag and checking for anything misplaced. “Do you have any suggestions for the place, Kent-san?” As soon as she felt everything was perfect and her book hugged to her chest, she started walking towards the park’s exit, doing so only after checking to see if the other was following.

        “We could go to Meido no Hitsuji,” she said at first, but when a certain realization dawned on her, a soft laugh escaped her lips. “I’m the one who said it, but coming from me, I guess it sounds like I’m promoting.” Though it wasn’t entirely wrong either. Since she still worked there and planned to do so until she graduated university and got a full-time job. “If you’d prefer to go somewhere else... If it’s alright with you, there’s a cafe next to the station that I’ve been meaning to check out. Waka-san--- our cafe’s manager, has asked me to go take a look around."

[yasashiisenpai]

記憶 | のりた

[rationalclover-blog]

♣ Happenstance

@blutrote-rosen 

⟦ ♧ ⟧ Summer was fading away again, he could feel it as the chilling air shook his coat. Not many months ago he wouldn’t have dared to walk through the park at such an early time in the day -the dry warmth of the sun was nearly scorching to his skin-, but avoiding it now would’ve been thoughtless. The leaves of the trees were starting to change their colors, still firmly attached, and he barely peeked glances at them as he made his way on the path. On his hand he read the first math book he’d officially had published, proudly, yet not completely… The truth was he was looking for mistakes, equations that wouldn’t lead to the result he’d listed, symbols missing… it seemed like a tortuous task, but he was immersed in it, wholeheartedly dedicated.

Once he reached a park bench, he sat without hesitation; he’d been walking for a couple of hours by then and his legs were starting to get tired. A little break couldn’t hurt. Yet, as he sat down he failed to notice the bench wasn’t unoccupied; right beside him now sat a woman, someone he knew, someone he failed to see.

Right as he finished a particularly long problem, he put the book down, staring off into the distance, trying to relax his body. It was then that he noticed he wasn’t alone. Suddenly he realized that the warmth on his side was her body heat, she was there. Without hesitation, he turned his head towards her and upon recognizing her, said: ❝Mai? How long have you been here?❞

[blutrote-rosen]

           With the months passing, it was late into the year, fall approaching. That also meant her fall semester was starting very soon, and to enjoy the last days of her holidays, she tried to spend as much time as she could relaxing and with her boyfriend. Nowadays, Ikki was busy with work and she barely saw him throughout the day, only at night and early in the mornings. Hence, despite the weak protests, she went out together with him, walking together to the train station and sending him off, the girl herself heading to the park afterwards. At first, she took a walk through the trail but as soon as she felt tired, she found a random bench, starting the romance novel she bought just the other day.

          It was something one of her classmates had asked her to try. Apparently it had been a cellphone novel before it was published as an official book, and it was very popular among the girls--- and she could see why. Only one chapter in, she had already immersed herself into the words, completely zoning out the rest of her surroundings as her fingers flipped through the pages, not even noticing someone had taken a seat next to her. Not until he spoke up, calling her name, at least.

          “------!?” Seeing the man sitting next to her, her eyes widened in surprise, mouth opening to speak up but taking a while to form them into coherent words. “Kent... san?” She was nearly about to slip the exact same words back at him but stopped herself just in time, blinking owlishly. “For a while now. I’ve been here reading for...” Lifting up her hand, she checked the time on her wristwatch. “A little over an hour.” Oh, she’s been here for quite a long time. The fact that her book was halfway done also proved so. “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you come over... Have you been here for long?”

[shinxheart]

♥}— Shin looked over his shoulder and nodded in response. “Yeah.” He then moved to wash his hands at the sink. “Toma and I’ll walk you home.” Once his hands were cleaned he dried them and turned to face her. “Come on, we should get back to work.”

[blutrote-rosen]

          Absentmindedly, the girl lifted the bandaged finger up to her line of sight, gently brushing the finger against her lips in thought. It was at times like this she was reminded how nice the other was despite the cold front he put up everyday. While she might be happier if he were more honest, she didn’t dislike this either. It made every nice thing he did seem even more precious.

          “Mm. I’ll do my best.” Mai gave him a quick smile, followed up by a light wave of her hand as she went towards the entrance to the storefront. “See you after work!” Mostly, nothing bad happened for the rest of the evening, possibly gaining another customer with her bright smiles thanks to her good mood.

[rationalclover-blog]

Logically Average

[rationalclover-blog]

⟦ ♧ ⟧  Her silence in response to his opinion felt eternal, almost as if time had frozen for the sole reason of making him suffer in anticipation. She was usually so vocal during their exchanges that seeing her take such long periods of time to think over whatever he said really made him pay more attention to her than usual. Was she acting this way because he wasn’t being as belligerent towards her? Was this how she treated others? He couldn’t have known. Yet he wanted to; he wanted to know what it’d be like to be on better terms with her, to have her greet him with a smile that wasn’t forced, to be able to ho- well, maybe not so much. His thoughts were derailing.

Time ticked by and the silence grew thicker to him, it was getting hard to breathe as he sneaked peeks at her, trying to figure out what went through her own mind; wondering if it was much different than what went on in his own.

Maybe he should’ve walked a little farther away from her though, as their short distance had his eyes wander down to her hands holding her dog’s leash. Oh how he wished the animal wasn’t there, for them to be completely on their own. Still, it could’ve been for the best, he didn’t know what he’d do if their hands were that close by, he could barely focus without thinking about it as it was.

Still, as she replied to him, his whole attention went to him. If anything else had happened in that moment around them, he would’ve completely ignored it. Taking her words in, he found himself a little irritated yet confused. For one, she’d managed to tell him he tended to be unfair around her -which he didn’t find particularly pleasing-, but her saying that she considered him to be tolerable too gave him pause. Moreover, the fact that she considered him a companion of sorts made his mind go blank. What did that even mean? Was she referring to him as a conversational partner? Maybe it was just because of their walks together… It had to be; yet the idea of there being more than that behind her statement made him blush ever-so-slightly. Could he really be that off if she considered their relationship different than the appropriate one for a teacher and a student? Maybe he was reading too much into it, putting into her mouth words that she hadn’t really said, but the silence in their walk had that effect in him. If they weren’t fighting then they were thinking; again trying to understand each other but failing miserably.

❝ Do you consider engaging in discussions inappropriate between teachers and students? Or are you trying to imply that I’m not professional enough in our conversations for you to consider me as a figure of power?❞ Her previous statement made him wonder if she was carefully trying to insult him or if she truly was confused about the nature of their relationship; was that what she was doing?

[blutrote-rosen]

            Mai hadn’t realized just how much time she had poured into her railing thoughts, trying to figure out the answer with her own sense of logic. Which wasn’t as logical, so maybe the better term would be ‘by her own rules’. Still, because she wasn’t as analytical nor did she think as much as the man did, her reply had hints of emotion in them, possibly too direct one could assume more from them.

            By the time she finished talking, the girl was surprised at how her chest felt lighter, the tense rise of her shoulders lowering ever so slightly as she breathed out the air trapped in her lungs silently. She might have been more nervous about telling him her feelings than she thought. Why, she wasn’t sure, but as she thought it through, she decided to pin it due to the fact that they were rarely, if ever, honest with each other until now. Doing something she wasn’t used to, and something that was clearly an act of showing herself out in the open, giving him information that might as well be big, bold words of ‘I actually do care’--- it had been scary, not knowing what to do. Yet, as soon as she was done, she found herself relaxing, feeling glad that she had been able to talk to him about it. If only she could have done this earlier, to be honest with him from the start, act civil and nice like any other person she knew... Ah, maybe it wasn’t too late to change it? Even if it’s only a fraction.

            Of course, she was still a bit fearful of his reaction, but no matter what he said, this time, because all she said was only the truth, she felt a little more confident in herself; Less guilty.

            “I- Inappropriate?”

            Her face flushed at those words, shocked by the sudden claim. Where had that come from? Oh, was it because she questioned if it was weird for student and teacher to be like this? Then he wasn’t completely off the mark word-wise, but her feelings speaking, that wasn’t what she meant to say. “No, that’s not it!” Mai accidentally raised her voice, brows furrowed as frustration set in, again, due to misunderstandings. This time though, she tried her best to calm down the shaking of her hands, pressing her lips together into a tight line before she took deep breaths. There was a way to stop their quarrels, and if she had to take one step back, just this once, she’d try her best. “That’s not what I meant... In simple terms, yes, I guess you’re not wrong either.”

            “Professionalism isn’t the problem. You’re not the problem either, Kent-san. It’s just... Me.” Biting down on her lower lip, she took a quick glance at the man before snapping her gaze back down, unable to look him in the eyes. There was something incredibly unsatisfying about admitting that she thought she was the problem, but since she started, she would finish. “I’m not sure what to think. We are indeed teacher and student. Coincidentally, we use the same route in the mornings for a walk. At first I thought... I thought maybe we could be close, since we were going to spend lots of time together. But things didn’t work out and honestly, I’m not even sure whose fault it is--- or if it is even anyone’s fault why things spiraled to this point.”

            “I’m confused. I respect you as my teacher and I don’t want this to affect my classes. Yet we’re here, fighting. I just... What do I want? What do you want? Is this really the kind of relationship you want with me, Kent-san?” Purses her lips, pausing once again as she noticed her voice get louder, lowering it before she continued. “I don’t like it... But we are obviously not friends either.” Wasn’t there anything they could do to stop the fighting? She’s so tired of it all. The simple solution would be to never meet, but that’s impossible with their classes. “Kent-san, what are we?”

[blutrote-rosen]

Would your muse prefer: Black and blue with someone who loves you, or being prim and proper and surrounded by false smiles?

         For one, why would be she black and blue if she were with someone who loves her? If it’s her own fault that she’s that way, of course, she would prefer that. If it’s that person who is making her black and blue, then she can’t give a straight answer. Of course she’d hate that because honestly, as nice as she is, she has her own sense of pride and self-worth. At the same time, she can’t say ‘no’ outright either because if this was someone she loved back before, she would be hesitant. Love makes people blind, and she believes that statement is very true.

         As for the second one, she’d rather not. It’s impossible not to have such relationships in life, especially if you’re working— or even in school. But even then, while she doesn’t think of it as her number one choice, she could live with it as long as she tells herself that she cares, and whether the other person does or not, as long as she does what she deems right, she’ll feel content at the least and things will feel easier.

         Depending on whether this is taken as romantic or platonic, the answer changes. If it’s for a romantic relationship, she would chose the first. For a platonic relationship, she would have to go with the second without a doubt.

[blutrote-rosen]

@spaedis​ --- x

        She hadn’t expected it to happen either, but lots of things had the tendency of happening in the spur of the moment. Right now, that just happened to be the act of sneaking up to the male sitting at the table and weaving in a girly, blush pink flower into Ikki’s hair. Which was actually quite nice.

        “Hmm? Why would it be uncool?” Because the flower was girly? She had to disagree, because she was sure any girl would be happy if their partner or friend accepted the flower, even if there was a bit of teasing. There was something about that act that was very much alluring too.

        Mai bent her upper body forward, moving closer to get a better glance at the flower. It had a nice contrast with his silvery smooth locks, standing out nicely in the midst of his hair. The hair accessory wasn’t too bad of an addition too. Though, she did giggle a bit with a light blush, finding it rather unfamiliar and almost cute how he was willingly wearing it. This was quite fun!

        “I don’t think it’d fit me very well.” The girl felt that she looked too plain for such a pretty thing. “Besides, I overhear people say you are as pretty as you are handsome. I’m... Testing that theory?”

[rationalclover-blog]

Logically Average

[rationalclover-blog]

⟦ ♧ ⟧ He failed to notice any changes in her expression brought upon by his confirmation just as he failed to avoid bumping into things when distracted. It was as if he got tunnel vision when it revolved her; he couldn’t think straight. If her cheeks had gotten any pinker, warmer… if her heart started racing in her chest: he didn’t realize it. And it wasn’t because he didn’t pay attention, that would’ve been a lie considering how intently he focused on her; no, it was exactly because of that that he couldn’t grasp what had happened. If it didn’t make sense, if there was no logical explanation, then it wasn’t real. It was as simple as that. And going by that reasoning, her blushing could’ve been easily explained and discarded: 1) She could’ve been barely having a normal reaction to the weather; or 2) She could’ve been feeling uncomfortable by his presence. Either way, those thoughts were as easily forgotten as they came. They weren’t relevant to how he was feeling, to his very own desperate heart and sweaty palms.

Perhaps if he hadn’t been as focused in his own bodily reactions to her, he would’ve been able to fully grasp the meaning behind her expression. Still, all he was doing at the moment was try to remain as calm as he usually portrayed himself to be… Well, as calm as he tended to be in her presence. It wasn’t much, but he at least tried to appear respectable. To be acting like a hormonal teenager in front of one of his students sounded like more of a nightmare than anything that could cross his mind right then.

‘Regret’ wasn’t exactly the word he’d use to describe asking her such bold things in regards to her opinion over him, but he could do nothing to take it back. He couldn’t even keep his attention on Kuro as his eyes wondered up to hers every now and then to wait for a response. Really, if he could add up the amount of times he’d embarrassed himself in her presence the number would be as close to infinite as humanly possible; it was reaching ridiculous levels.

Nonetheless, when she finally replied: his head shot up, eyes widening, filled with hope. She made quite a conclusive statement, it was difficult to argue with it. Mai had never disliked him. Never. It was not the biggest revelation of his life, but for some reason he found himself clinging to it as if it were. His chest felt warm in a way that was… comforting; like a soft summer breeze. And without even realizing it was happening, that feeling spread across his body, reaching his face and turning surprise into a grin.

His behavior was near primal, acting upon her every word rather than truly examining the logic behind it; far too different from what he normally would’ve done with anyone else. And even though he resented showing such a side of himself, it wasn’t completely terrible. Throughout these moments, he gained some type of understanding of society, of how casual dialogue between two people was supposed to be held. To be so clueless about such things at the age of twenty-five was perhaps even more mortifying that having to experience those moments of weakness.

Yet as he started feeling the corners of his lips hurt, noticing how wide his own smile was, he thought he caught the sight of a dark shade of pink on her cheeks. Strange how she turned her face just as he started to work over what he’d seen; had it been his imagination? Was he really being so delusional that he’d imagine her looking like that? The fact that his answers weren’t definite told him he really needed to take a step back and try to think more clearly, but he couldn’t. Not then, not there. Mai seemed nervous, somewhat caught up in something that made it hard for her to speak… Ah. So it had been much obvious than he’d first thought… she didn’t dislike him, but… she could just as well hate him. Just why had he even been hopeful before? What had he expected? Being so childish was something he needed to avoid, he’d put her in such a difficult position by this new misunderstanding that he’d caused her discomfort to the extent she couldn’t face him. It was shameful.

The cogs of his mind were turning rampant, thinking over every interaction they ever had to discern her hatred for him, to comprehend that she was just being nice when not turning away at their meetings. She was polite, but she had her limits, and he’d reached them right there… At least, that was the conclusion he was reaching when she repeated that she didn’t find him to be a bad person. Did that mean she didn’t hate him? Those things weren’t mutually exclusive; really, she could’ve still found him unbearable… No matter, he pressed his lips into a thin line as he struggled to be as collected as usual. It felt as if his face vibrated, muscles tensing as his previous smile turned into nothing but a short-lived illusion.

Terrible after terrible scenario clouded his mind when she voiced her question. She wanted to know what he thought of her. Why? If his assumptions of her hatred had been correct, then… There’d be no reason for her to be interested in his opinion. Or could it be that she was so masochistic she was interested in knowing even her enemy’s thoughts? It was somewhat admirable, he had to give her that, but it was still strange. He couldn’t fully make sense of her curiosity, the idea that she’d be looking for his input sounded far too counterproductive. 

Even still, he found himself wishing to reply, mouth already open before he thought over much of anything. He’d been so focused on her opinion that he’d started to ignore his own. If, for some unknown reason, she cared to know what he thought, then… He’d be blunt with it. That was what he did best… or worst depending on whom was asked.

❝ I think… You’re kind, responsible even… You’re not the best of students, but you’re not terrible either; I can tell you pay attention and you study, even if your grades aren’t the best. ❞ He thought back then on their previous argument, her having a part time job and her dog to take care of… ❝ But it’s understandable, I suppose…❞ It was impossible to focus on her for too long, but avoiding her gaze as he spoke of her felt unmannered to him so he tried his best to face her every now and then.

❝ You ask for my opinion, and because of the subjective nature of one, I gather that telling you I find you to be tolerable is comprehensible. You’re what is normally referred to as a ‘good person’, you’re not an obstacle to overcome by many. That said, you seem to be extremely stubborn, prideful and prejudiced… Though that may just be in my case, I can’t talk about how you relate with others since it doesn’t involve me. ❞ To him, those words felt like a decent enough definition and yet he feared her reaction to them. It was highly probable that she’d misunderstand him again… Although perhaps this time he’d finally get the answer he yearned for the most: Did she hate him?

[blutrote-rosen]

            Mai took a shuddering breath in, careful not to let out a sound, wanting to keep his attention elsewhere and not have him stop because of some disturbance she caused. Even though she had asked the question after a long, mental debate--- even though she had told herself she would be okay no matter what sort of answer he gave her, she still felt terribly scared. Inside her head, she could still hear the loud drumming of her heart, hands sweating a little as she re-positioned her grip far too many times to be natural. Had she lied to herself, saying she would be fine? All because she wanted to know his true feelings? Why was she going so far to find out such a thing? It was silly. However, she believed that she wasn’t exactly trying to be masochistic here. It was just a hint-- a small little hope or even a hunch, that told her he wouldn’t say all those nasty things she assumed he thought. He wasn’t that mean. Like she had said, he was a nice person. She never disliked him and she believed he wasn’t the type to do anything that would get people to point fingers at him.

            Besides, it was hard to think he could hurt her more than he already has.

            While the other seemed to be thinking his words through, the girl had her own time to calm down from her own mental panic and think of the possible outcomes--- preparing herself, steeling her heart in order to keep it from breaking. Wait... Why would his words even matter that much? That was still one of the things that made her feel uncomfortable. She shouldn’t even feel bothered by what he thought, nor should she want to know about it this much. They should be merely a teacher and a student. Sure, it was normal to be curious about what others thought of you, but was it always to this extent? Even for the girl who communicated with lots of people and friends, she really doubted it. But how else could she explain this phenomenon? Human instinct? Or maybe it was some sort of mental process she wasn’t aware of yet.

            Before she could entertain her thoughts any further, he had replied, slowly, steadily and in a way that got her to stop breathing in anticipation, eyes glued to the ground. She fought against the temptation to close her eyes, which, she knew would mean she was trying to run away from reality--- that wasn’t what she wanted. Facing it would be... For the better. His answer wasn’t what she had expected-- Or was it? It was one of her expectations, but she had thought... It was merely a guess. To have him say that, she found herself staring up at the male, blinking her eyes once.

            “... ... ...”

            Kind? Responsible? Were those really words coming from his mouth? The words that followed it didn’t sound as pleasing as the first two-- being more than a bit unnecessary, but she was the one who had asked, so she took it in stride. Though, in all honesty, she had stopped listening as attentively by the time the time he said something positive about her. Surely, she should have been feeling down, or annoyed or angry or irritated or maybe even frustrated at him for pointing her faults and weaknesses out for her after them, practically ruining the nice image he left, but her mind had paused at that exact moment, repeating the words in her head silently. Those unwanted comments were heard, but didn’t bother her as much as it would have on a normal day.

            She was ever so slightly glad, or maybe happy, when he said it was ‘understandable’. Because she would have felt horrible if he had merely said her grades weren’t satisfactory. The girl knew the man watched her in class, because she did the same, paying full attention on the lecture and him. It was slightly embarrassing having him actually word out that he had noticed, the already present blush showing exactly how she felt. For a split second, she even felt incredibly glad that she had diligently listened to his lectures, because otherwise he would have never said something like that to her. Which was... Oddly nice.

            Well, ‘tolerable’ was better than ‘hate’ or ‘dislike’. Even if he had told her he didn’t feel any of those two beforehand, she still couldn’t believe him genuinely, due to his personality and the way he held himself. After all, he had never showed her any signs that he thought so. She knew he wasn’t the type to smile all the time, giving them out free of charge, but she wished he had. Maybe her insecurities wouldn’t have gotten to this point if he had. It wasn’t his fault, of course, but she could hope, right? Besides, she wondered if he would ever smile in front of her, or possible smile at her.

            Whatever the reason might be, when he finished his words, the girl was silent, too many different terms of shock and surprise crashing against her in waves. As it settled down, a short, soft, relieved laugh escaped her lips. As always, he was terrible at wording things. They made sense and were grammatically correct, but they were very computerized, cracked down to point out the main points with no slips. Even the bad points he had pointed out were too true, she couldn’t find a suitable comeback for it. Actually, it was a good thing, since she didn’t feel like fighting anymore. Mai couldn’t help but think how usually, with any other people she talked to, there would be more personal thoughts--- more emotion and feelings put into words when giving their opinion on something or someone but... This was what you should expect from Kent, really.

            “I... Am a bit unfair when with you. But I don’t believe I’m the only one at fault,” she replied softly, stating her thoughts firmly but also hoping he wouldn’t jump into another debate over her second sentence. Hopefully he would notice there was no malice in those words, merely a way with words. “If I were to borrow your words... I think you’re tolerable too. I suppose I can see you as a... Acquaintance? Companion? --Of sorts too? Though maybe that’s odd for a teacher and student?” There, she lifted a finger to press against her bottom lip in thought, a soft sigh escaping her parted lips.

            That went... Better than she anticipated. For now.

[shinxheart]

♥}— Shin nodded in response to her thank you and moved to put everything back where it belonged. As he did so, he snuck a couple glances at her. He could feel that something was on her mind. After a few moments he moved to throw away anything that had already been used and then to put the kit back. “…what’s with the face? Did I make it too tight?” He asked as he reached up to put the first aid kit back on the shelf. 

[blutrote-rosen]

          She belatedly noticed at his question that she was showing her thoughts through her expressions again, quickly picking herself back up and shaking her head.

          “Mn... It’s nothing. Don’t mind me,” Oh well, the least she could do was not trouble him more than she already did. “The bandage is fine... It’s just right.” He was rather good at it, which made her wonder if he did it often. But what reason would be have to hurt his finger? “Is your shift today till the evening too?”

[shinxheart]

♥}— Once she sat down he immediately got to work, taking her hand and began cleaning the cuts. Needless to say, there may or may not have been a little stinging but he figured she would know that. “Is there a problem with me doing it?” Does this really look like the face of a liar to you, Mai? Once all her cuts were cleaned he proceeded to gently bandaging her hand, making sure he didn’t wrap the bandage too tightly. 

[blutrote-rosen]

        The cleaning stung, but it was tolerable. At one point, an audible sound of surprise and pain left her lips, but it was fairly soft, not of something to be bothered about. She silently watched him work, trying to keep her hand as still as she could manage.

        “That’s no it, but...” What could she say? It was just her being stubborn. “Never mind...” It doesn’t matter, now that he already bandaged up her hand. “Thank you.” Still, she still had that hesitant look, wondering why she couldn’t have handled it herself.

[shinxheart]

♥}— “Don’t worry about me. I’ll do it.” He replied before walking to the breakdown and grabbing the first aid kit. “Sit there.” He gestured towards a table with two chairs. Once he grabbed all the supplies needed he sat one one of the chairs and waited for Mai to join him. 

[blutrote-rosen]

        “Still... ...” The girl pressed her lips together, not sure whether or not to decline. It was nice of him to help but she was still the elder one here. It felt weird that he was taking care of her like this. She felt a bit sorry, which would be the right word. Oh, what was she doing, making him go through with this.

        “Ah, a- alright!” Snapping out of her thoughts, she hurriedly went over to the table, sitting down on the chair he gestured to. “You really sure, Shin?” Because she is stubborn and needs to make sure he wasn’t lying or something.

[shinxheart]

♥}— “No, you’re not.” He spoke bluntly. “Someone else will get it. You’re coming with me so I can properly bandage your hand before it gets infected. Let’s go.” He stood up though he continued watching her, waiting for her to get up and follow him. 

[blutrote-rosen]

         “Eh?” Her hand stopped mid-way of reaching out, having thought to pick up at least the bigger shards of glass. His voice snapped her out of it though, and she stared, let her hand fall and nodded. Following his lead, she got up too, dusting down her apron and dress in case any of the shards got caught in the cloth. “I can do it myself, Shin... Don't you have to get back to work?”

[blutrote-rosen]

diemnd replied to your post:

Why me.

        No idea. Did you do something to them while I wasn’t looking?

[shinxheart]

♥}— Upon hearing her express her pain Shin withdrew his hand and knelt down next to her and took her injured hand into his, inspecting it to make sure the wounds weren’t too deep. If they were minor he could just deal with them himself. “Are you hurt anywhere else?” He asked, his gaze shifting from her hand to her face. 

[blutrote-rosen]

        Mai silently watched--- and blinked, as the other took her hand to take a look. It wasn’t that deep of a cut, but she had made a slightly exaggerated sound due to surprise from the sting. “No... I’m alright. It was just a light graze. The bleeding should stop in a few seconds.” Quietly, she stared at him in confusion. Because, when had he suddenly decided to be so... Gentle? “Ah, the glass. I’ll go get a broom.”