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@blvemonday
Text to: Jesse
Nate: So next week is spring break and I booked a trip for Amelia and I and since she can't be alone with me any chance you would want to take her place? Everything is free and paid for, js.
Jesse: what's the catch?
Honestly, my dad is just getting more and more pathetic day after day. I just got off a three hour long skype session with him. Do you know how much of that call was dead air? At least like… 75% percent of it. I know he’s totally trying to keep me inside and away from any frat parties tonight, but lucky for me they never start earlier than 11, anyway. Nice try dad, but you still lost.
Seriously, your dad is lucky he didn’t stay on for one minute longer, otherwise he would’ve gotten a front row seat into me waltzing into your room and pulling you by your hair extensions, so we can haul ass to the party before some dudebro inevitably spiked a majority of the drinks.
willaxhargrove:
Are you… are you serious right now? Did you just try to use a line on me?
Either way I answer that, I don’t foresee the outcome in my favor, so I digress. Not quite the warm welcome I had been anticipating, but it is always a pleasure, Willa.
Does it ever occur to you that you’ve been up for over 16 hours straight and you won’t be going to bed for at least another two and then you suddenly just feel like collapsing? Because I think I’m there right now.
And still as breathtaking as ever. Do enlighten us on your secret.
WHAT’S A GIRL GOT TO DO to get a decent cup of coffee around here ? god, i can already hear the catty responses and see the eyerolls headed my way, but guess what ? i can’t be drinking irish, so for the love of literally fucking anything, someone please get me something kenyan. putain, i need a pick-me-up from this goddamn nightmare.
Call it my impeccably perceptive intuition, but something tells me you’re a little, how should I say... irritée, sister dearest. You know, I’ve been told I’m a connoisseur in helping many a desperate damsel in distress relieve their tension one way or another.
a model™
-- tag drop for sebastian valmont.
Playing Pretend || St.Devon
jaxxdevon:
Fondly rolling her eyes Jaxx shook her head slightly before glancing over at Amelia. “You know I’m not all about you buying stuff for me, different people or not,” she pointed out. “But you know…Thanks,” she added in glancing back at the road after giving Amelia a tiny smile of her own.
“I mean I’m always hungry,” she pointed out with a small shrug, casting a glance over at Amelia. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” she admitted. Who was she kidding though, she knew Amelia wasn’t going to be okay, she was honestly surprised she wasn’t getting an earful about the whole thing currently which just made her worry a little more if she was being honest.
But she did her best to fill the short drive with brief chatter and mostly just listening to whatever was on the radio. But even Jaxx had to admit the relief she felt when they parked at the mall in the next town over was pretty great.
“Here wait, don’t get out yet.” she was quick to say once she shut her truck off, hopping out she took a second to smooth down her shirt, check that her collar was still neatly folded down before making her way over to the passenger side and opening the door for Amelia, holding her hand out to her and putting her best charming smile on her face.
“Your adventure awaits, Princess,”
Her regrets stacked higher the closer they approached the parking lot. She should have called it off. She should have stayed home. She should have never saw the light of day, resigning to a life tucked firmly underneath her plush cashmere blanket, where she could eventually wither away in peace.
She had half a mind to voice those very thoughts to Jaxx, but then she had already gotten out of the car, and before she could open her mouth, a hand was held out for her in waiting -- and far be it from Amelia to say no when she looked at her like that. She extended her own hand to fit into Jaxx’s before she stepped out and brushed her hair to the side with her free hand. Instinctively, she almost pulled her hand away once she was on her own two feet, but then her own words echoed in her head, reminding her they were cloaked under an anonymity that wasn’t afforded to them within Shermer’s town limits.
Different people, different lives.
A smile played on her lips, one that didn’t quite reach her hazel eyes, but she gave a gentle squeeze as a means to say ‘thank you’ before guiding her into the boutique. Given that she often frequented this one in particular, the employees stood at attention upon seeing the pair enter, always eager to put on their best face for Amelia, who was no stranger to racking up a hefty bill at the end of a particularly successful spending spree.
“Miss St. James, it’s always a pleasure to see you,” Alonzo said as he rushed to greet her, surely kissing her ass because even she knew that the commission he made off of her had been enough to put down a down payment on that G-Wagon sitting pretty in the parking lot. “And your friend, of course. Your name, Miss--” Amelia interjected before Jaxx had a moment to answer, saying, “Would you be a doll and get us a drink?” Taken aback by her curtness, he only allowed his shock to mold his expression for a minute before he nodded accordingly and went to serve them two champagne flutes.
“Looks like I can’t escape being me wherever I go,” she muttered under her breath, clearing her throat afterwards as she glanced at Jaxx, “but you can.” Amelia looked to her expectantly. “Who do you want to be?”
nathaniellynn:
Did she assume she’d get you fired over that expired coupon? I once heard a lady threaten it while standing in line somewhere. It was pretty funny.
I think she expected to bend over and for me to kiss her aerobicized ass.
al3cstjames:
[Private] Has, had…I don’t know, I don’t keep up with her love life. I’m not gonna lecture you, more making fun of you. What would I lecture you about exactly? You weren’t even loud enough for me to know anything until you left your door open with him in there. But maybe that says something about whichever of you was on top.
[ PRIVATE ] Ouch. That almost hurt, but then, at the very least one of us is getting laid, yeah? Speaking of, how’s your right hand doing? Last I heard, you two were still going strong.
chaosaur:
Look at you so smart and philosophical. Still just a cashier though.
What an astute level of observation you have there, Sherlock. Tell me more -- is the sky blue? Is water wet? Do you have a stick firmly lodged up your ass?
whatamegabitch:
Take a shower, hippie. By the way, the only thing suburban about any of us is that we communicate with people like you. If the Heathers were going to be housewives, we’d obviously be the ones on TV except way more self sufficient. As a district attorney, I can read the fine print–it’s my job. Still doesn’t give you an excuse to be a dick to those that might have a little trouble in that area.
Nothing about any of you is self-sufficient. If you didn’t have Chandler to wipe your asses for you, I’m absolutely sure you and the other Heather would walk around like headless chickens.
hellyeahspiritfingers:
Uh yah, totally dude. I’m always here to make you feel those special butterflies, J. As for that godawful shrew and her brainless husband, I definitely gave them one of my more familiy-friendly fuck-offs. If they ever come back with that same crap, I’m for sure pulling out all the stops. Full parental advisory overload.
Remind me, should I ever piss you off, to hightail it out of Shermer quicker than that one Heather takes to run to the bathroom after a meal.
howolivery:
Color me embarrassed. I have to admit, I’m the kind of guy that enjoys the occasional ball busting only Sharons can provide. However, my tastes lie in intelligence over looks. Go figure. You sound like J.D., by the way. Kinda freaky.
You say that now, but weren’t you all rainbows-and-unicorns with Little Miss Pretty Pink Princess back in high school? I doubt there was anything in that beautiful head of hers other than knowing exactly which way was the closest mall. My, how times change you. I’m glad to see you’ve gotten some sense since then. If only we could say the same for everyone else. You know, I’ve been compared to worser things, so I’ll take it.
hellyeahspiritfingers
Why, Jesse. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you only kept me around as the brawn to your brain. No but seriously, do I need to kick someone’s ass because I will.
That may be part of the reason -- the other part would be that you’re, dare I say it, one of the few people who gives me the slightest faith in humanity in this whole damn shit-show. Now cherish that because I don’t know when the next nice thing I say will be. Think you got it in you to take on three Heathers at once?
tempestuousheinousbitch:
Right, because the Chicago Sun-Times is desperate for more traffic. You know what else generates interest? - Sex crimes, political corruption, refugee crisis, gender inequality, the growth of white supremacy in America. You want to know the difference between these topics and cat memes? Relevance.
But I’m sure your kitten is a peach.
Isn’t all print media? But that’s, like, besides the point -- if you want to write about all of that so badly, then why not just do it? Sure, an assignment is an assignment, but did anyone ever make big news by doing what they’re told? It’s like when I wore my new Jimmy Choos with this one outfit and was sure I’d be crucified come lunchtime, but I got the most cat-calls from hot jocks throughout the day and even more nasty glares from my jealous teammates, which is, like, the ultimate compliment in girl world. Had I not done it, I would’ve never gotten to third base with the linebacker, so moral of the story is: do it, anyway, even if it isn’t expected of you. You never know who you can go to third base with.
If you’d ever seen her, I’m sure you’d agree in a heartbeat, Bobbi.
hellyeahspiritfingers:
Wait, are you trying to tell me you get off on me bitching about literal fucking psychos? Cause that’s been a goal of mine since, like, forevers.
Forevers, huh? You know how to make a guy feel special. But go on with your story: did you chew her out? Make someone cry?
