a mutual exclusive blog for kerry eurodyne from cyberpunk 2077. formerly part of paintedinlight
mixed canon (picked out from 2020/77/3.0/CyberGeneration) | crossover friendly | oc selective | duplicate friendly
LINKS: RULES | ABOUT | CARRD | MULTIMUSE | JOHNNY & V BLOG
note: not all my carrd pages are mobile friendly. contents, rules, and about are all good. ship page is readable, but not pretty. timeline and current relationships w/ everyone is very much desktop only.
rules beneath the cut
FOLLOWING:
-I am a mutually exclusive blog. If we're not following one another, I will not respond to your character's asks nor will I write you starters.
-If you follow me first, I'd prefer for you to make the first move in terms of interactions. I promise, if we're mutuals, I'm more than happy to talk to you and begin to figure out interactions with you!
-I don't mind if personal blogs follow me so long as you don't reblog my stuff.
-I will likely unfollow you if your attitude is overly negative, or if you reblog a ton of unrelated content to your blog. Run your blog how you want, but I just don't want to be around it.
SHIPPING:
-I love shipping! I obviously need chemistry to happen, though, and definitely prefer if I already know the mun well enough before I feel comfortable to ship with someone.
-I don't do anything in regards to sexual writing on this blog. I'm 30, so it's really just a matter of my preference. I'll allow things up to a "fade to black" situation, however.
-Please refer to my SHIPPING section of my carrd if you have questions about what I ship.
GENERAL:
-Kerry has a lot of triggering material in his storyline, especially with the inclusion of some of his story from CyberGeneration. This includes, but is not limited to: suicidal tendencies, suicide attempts, physical abuse, verbal abuse, mention of drug and alcohol use, mention of drug and alcohol addictions, & child death.
-If you're an OC (or even a canon character that doesn't know my character in canon) do not assume my character knows you. If you want pre-established relationships, you need to come to me first. This includes V! Everyone's V is different, and I'd prefer to talk things out if dynamics between Kerry and V isn't already clear from your information.
-Please don't make it a habit of asking for starters without responding to them. If you have an issue with a starter, just let me know! I promise you I won't be annoyed or upset, because I want nothing more than for us to be able to interact.
-You definitely don't need to match my reply length, but I'd appreciate it if you gave me something to work with so I'm actually able to respond properly.
-You're more than welcome to turn our asks into threads if you want! Just be sure to turn into a new post and tag me, first!
-Triggers are tagged as "trigger cw".
-I have no triggers myself in regards to dark subjects. I do, however, have emetophobia which I would appreciate being tagged. I won't jump at you if you don't do this, however.
I left out things I felt to be obvious, but if there are issues in the future, I’ll add them here.
CREDITS:
some of the virtual photography of Kerry - TheNightcaller
some of the assets for my edits - R. Talsorian Games
design of carrd based on the ROCKERBOY sourcebook made by R. Talsorian Games
psd for mobile header image - ninetitans
icon border - niixzee
post banners - endlesswood
all other edits / graphics have been made by me
" that's pretty shitty of you ─ y'know all he'd do is dent the hood, and the poor driver didn't do anything to deserve that. " normally ( ok, maybe not normally, but occasionally ) she would have been offended on johnny's behalf, but there wasn't a chance in hell that he didn't deserve every bit of kerry's wrath ; even if said wrath was only a tantrum preformed live in her living room.
small though the room may have been, rogue still managed to stand on the other side of it as she gazed upon kerry in all of his busted and bruised glory. from what she & her nonexistent medical expertise could tell, whatever had happened between the two men had been more than just a little scuffle ── there were genuine injuries to be seen, & a tone in kerry's voice which, to her ear, sounded just a little too close to what one would sound like if they were well and truly at the end of their rope. no one could blame him if that were the case, but still ... no one, least of all her, wanted to see permanent damage done to that particular relationship.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ" so, d'you wanna ... talk ... about it ? "
Rogue's question earned herself nothing but silence for several moments. He thought, and in his short time thinking it was bringing him down a lot quicker than he would've liked. No-- fuck, no-- he wanted to stay angry. Don't think and let everything else give way, you fucking idiot.
"What's there to say?" Kerry's voice came out strained. He grit his teeth at the pathetic sound, and he was quick in his attempt to try again. "We already know how it fuckin' goes with him!" More than anyone else in the world, they knew.
"Y'do everything for 'im. An' then-- an' then he fuckin' snaps-- an' suddenly he's goin' off..." It'd only been getting worse with time. The rages. Sometimes there was some prompt to them, but other times it really did just feel like they came from nowhere. Nothing but deep seated ire pouring out for no reason that anyone on the outside could've been privy to. Kerry definitely felt the physicality of it a lot of the times when it happened, especially as it was rare that Kerry wouldn't just rage back in turn.
"Really don't get what the fuck his problem is, Rogue... He was high. Maybe that was all it took, I dunno."
It wasn't like he hated being home. It was rare that Vik and he both had several days off in a row, that part of things was nice. Spending time with Vik was great, but having to rest, having to miss out on tour dates... It made him feel antsy, and was definitely aiding in his general crankiness. His broken arm was adding to that, too.
All of it culminated just wasn't making Kerry the most pleasant person to be around. He could admit that fact, he guessed. Who wouldn't be a little pissed by the fact that his life and his plans had been roughly pulled out from under him by some bullshit going on with his thyroid? Hell, he couldn't even play his guitar while his arm was the way it was. That had to be clear enough grounds for him to be in a pissy mood, right?
And then the calls.
Kelvy was expected. She played it cool, but he knew she worried. Louise, too, and in turn, Kim and Ted. Then Misty, of course. She'd been checking in on the both of them pretty regularly. Same with V. Kearney had called. Still sounded nice and guilty. Not like Kerry ever placed any blame on him. Poor guy seemed to be beating himself up enough as it was. Then there were the suits. Motherfuckers pissed him off. Just had to keep going on about what his "next moves" would be. Kerry had hung up on them more than a couple times since making it home.
That only really left Johnny, who seemed to have only last checked in back when he was still in the hospital. At that point, it'd been about a week and a half. Maybe he was just getting his info from V. Made sense, he guessed, since those two were always together. Even with that in mind, though, it was quietly gnawing at him.
"How many times--" Kerry scoffed as he was interrupted again, "How many times do I gotta tell ya? We'll talk biz later. You suits were the ones forcin' me to take a break in the first place--" Helped by the the vehement assertions by both his partner and his tour doctor, of course, "--so let me fuckin' rest." For the fourth time, he hung up on one of the producers of the tour. And for the fourth time, he'd heave out an irritated groan as he sank into his spot on the couch.
@5urvive sent: " we've wasted everything. "
until dawn sentence starters | accepting
"Everything?"
Kerry was quick to look around. Surely there had to have been something left. There couldn't just be nothing. But as he looked things over, it seemed like Rogue was right.
"Fuck," he breathed, wracking his brain for some idea of what they could do. They didn't have much in terms of any eddies after all they'd already spent on the ingredients. The fact that they'd fucked up enough times to run out of pretty much everything was almost laughable if it weren't damn humiliating.
"...Well, I spent pretty much all I had last time we got groceries. What've you got, Miss Merc?"
@5urvive sent: " i can't afford to fail. "
i cannot show any weakness prompts | accepting
"And you're not gonna," Kerry asserted readily, voice steady despite it all. Reaching a hand out, he placed a comforting hand along her shoulder. He carefully rubbed at tense muscles with his thumb, keeping his eyes on her. It was almost strange for Rogue to actually worry about things. Maybe it was nice to see the humanity peeking out at times, but it also worried him. Just how dire was all of this?
For now, he only truly knew bits. It didn't feel like his place to demand details, to ask questions he had no full right to ask about. He was just there as a friend, ready to help if need be.
"Ain't used to you stressin' like this. Need t'vent? Maybe talkin' it out to a strategic novice'll do the trick," he offered, only half-joking. Kerry didn't figure she'd want to get into it, but he figured offering a listening ear wouldn't hurt.
@5urvive sent: [ JOSHUA ] sender offers receiver a safe place to hide / crash .
a city of trees | accepting
"What a fucking dick--"
Fights with Johnny were far from unusual on all fronts. An aptly named dick, the rockerboy really did have a talent for music, but an even more outstanding skill in getting under people's skin. Things, more times than not, got physical-- especially when Kerry was involved. While he had his moments of faltering to Johnny's wrath, he also was just as likely to return that energy.
That was the cause for the bruises that littered Kerry's face that day, coupled, with swelling around his eye, and a splitting headache from hair being pulled and his head hitting a wood floor after being knocked back. Far from the worst he'd looked after a brawl with Johnny, but still worse than he would've liked.
And while some nights he ran off to Nancy or Denny for refuge from the shared apartment, that night he'd gone to Rogue. The fact that she'd actually let him in was a relief, one that would go unspoken for the time being.
Huffing out in frustration, Kerry was doing everything in his power to keep his rage from turning into something else. Keep being angry. Keep hating his guts. Keep worrying more about the way his eyelid might be bruised for days. Far more appealing than wondering what just might be happening within the walls of his home.
Settled off on Rogue's sofa for the time being, his bag of things at his feet, all he could bring himself to do for now was rant.
"--dunno why I even fuckin' bother. Hope the motherfucker gets hit by a car and rots in hell, for all I fuckin' care."
explaining myself will probably make me feel better more than anything, so I guess I will for the sake of it.
all right, so I've been (kind of) clearly not been doing well since the end of December. I keep going in an out of my pits and valleys, and that pattern hasn't quite let up yet, even as we're only a week or so from May. it's contributed to my inactivity quite a bit, as well as my social interactions with my rp partners.
apologies for that, I'm just always tired from irl stuff and I'm just Not Great at talking to people unprompted rn. it's nothing personal toward anyone, I'm just Going Through It
on top of all of that! I've been doing a lot of 3D renders the past month or so and that is taking up the bulk of my creative energy. I have a 15 render project that I've been working on since March, as well as a fandom character week thing I'll be (hopefully) contributing 7 renders for. I have 14 renders in total I need to get done. so yeah that's taking up a lot of time and energy, but I'm really happy with how the project is turning out so far, even if the latter half may be more mentally taxing. Plus the bits for the fandom week... just ugh.
I'm tired, and while I'd love to write and yap and do threads rn, I don't have a ton of energy for them rn. I'm only currently replying to like. One of them. I think I only have two officially going on as is, so I do apologize to that other person waiting on me. You know how I just keep making more work for myself.
anyway. this is my explanation saying that I'm still very much around! just depressed and using what energy I do have to work on these projects. my discord is open to those who i've spoken with at least a couple of times via tumblr DMs if you're interested in talking nonsense, bc I still do love to do that.
Vik didn't want or need an answer to his suggestion right away. Sure, he'd do his damnedest to make it happen if Kerry agreed - and probably still insist on a couple days' relaxation if not - but it wasn't the most vital of decisions right now. More than anything, it was a way to luxuriate a little longer in some calm before reality could cut in.
So Vik let slip a quieter chuckle this time. "Yeah, your nice warm body pillow's been missin' you too." His tone was humored but his expression sincere as he brushed curled fingers over Kerry's cheek, thumb lingering a moment at the decorative chrome under one eye.
He didn't blame his partner for wanting to hold off on the news of improvement, either. It was a bit thorny, since it seemed kind of unfair to Désirée and Kearney in particular when they were so concerned - but to be honest, there were plenty of other doctors and nurses around to tell them. He knew from experience that though the hospital staff would advise going easy on Kerry, the tour staff would likely push right past.
"Mh, a bit," Vik tipped up one shoulder. "I think they've mostly talked to Désirée, but she did tell me a few hours ago that Kelvy and Silverhand saw the footage goin' around and checked in with her. She can update 'em after you feel up to talkin' with her and the rest."
Oh, Christ, that was just what that poor kid needed.
"For her sake, I hope it was actually V who got a hold of her, and not Johnny. Fuckin' hell..." Kelvy could be intense when she was worried, but Johnny was a whole other breed. He'd probably be stupid enough to accidentally blow his cover like that if he was freaked out enough, too. And if his fall was as bad as Vik said it was, he could see it happening.
Before he could get another word out, he would turn his head to let out a yawn. Man, he hadn't felt this wiped in ages. It was the adrenaline crash and the apparent near death all in one, he guessed. Usually that crash was for the end of tour, but with everything going on he supposed he couldn't be too surprised.
"...Yeah, we'll talk to 'em soon," Kerry assured, letting his head lull back into place again. "I just kinda wanna savor the moments of not havin' people bitchin' at me for a little while." At least for an hour or two. A while to rest before he was thrust back into being forced to think about whether he'd be forced to cut the tour short or if he'd be cleared to keep going if he wanted.
He didn't mind that Kerry was endeared by his reaction. It didn't stop him from meaning every word. Vik had already seen some pretty ridiculous levels of impatience from managers and staff and the like, during his latter days in the ring then especially when he hung up his gloves to treat his former peers. He doubted that pressure to perform was any easier for musicians as well-known as Kerry. Someone had to be in his partner's corner; facing it alone could be overwhelming.
Vik adjusted a little to lean in for a gentle kiss to Kerry's cheek. "Wish I could too. Just wanna get lost in you for a while."
Drown out that sound haunting his mind with far prettier noises. Remind himself he wasn't as useless or helpless as he'd felt the past day or so.
"If I hadn't come here in an AV, I'd sweep you off as soon as you're cleared 'n have us a little home vacation," Vik added with a light, warm laugh.
He lifted his hand from Kerry's, but only to brush a stray lock of silver away from his partner's forehead, then carefully rested his palm just to one side of the heart monitor stuck to the man's chest.
"Might still do that, no matter when you come home. Take a week and spend it however we want, just you 'n me."
One that could come true if his producers decided his health was more important than the tour. All at once, Kerry wanted the best of both worlds. When wasn't he as greedy as could be, really? To tour, to have Vik at the end of the night... Still, somehow he doubted he'd be allowed that luxury. Or maybe Vik would insist he stay if he was "forced" to keep touring.
Nevertheless, a little "home vacation" didn't sound so bad either. Exactly the opposite, really. At that point all he did wanna do was rest. Having Vik home for a whole week, at that? Man. That sounded like a privilege he couldn't possibly pass up if he were presented with it.
But, that would be a decision that would come later. He'd figure it, he guessed.
"Would be nice... been missin' my own bed, big time. My nice warm body pillow, too," Kerry remarked, allowing his head to rest back against the bed and lull to the side so he could look at Vik. He'd offer him a tired smile.
"...Guess we'll cross that bridge once we get to it, though. Same with tellin' everyone 'm back to bein' on this side'a sane. Really don't need anyone bitchin' at me, whether they're the tour manager or my adult kid," he heaved out a heavy sigh, then brought his hand up to rub his eyes briefly.
"Or Silverhand. I'm sure you've heard plenty from all three, huh?" Maybe that was too optimistic. Johnny loved to pretend like he didn't give a shit, and Kelvy had her work keeping her busy all the time... Nah, Vik's probably heard way too much from the staff of the tour more than anyone else.
mr. hands wouldn't be a problem, if that's what rogue decided. she may not have had a hand ( ha ) in the current DT landscape as far as their shared profession went, but she knew one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt ; hands had gotten as far as he had because there was no real competition. he wasn't running a city, he was, at best, in charge of a small neighborhood. if someone, herself for example, wanted to put a stop to it? it wouldn't be a problem.
but as kerry himself had said it wasn't his area, so rogue wouldn't bore him with the details of a possible takeover scheme. instead, she would pick up where they left off, in an area where he clearly knew what he was talking about.
once again kerry was correct. afterlife may not have been ( that most knew of ) a haven for the quote-unquote corporate elite ; but what was the point of starting something new if she only planned to follow the same path all over again? maybe the new place, the new mess, could be exactly that ── direct competition for those who catered to the 1%. a venus fly trap laying in wait, the scent of honey drawing them in only for the slow digestion to begin the moment they crossed her threshold.
of course no such thing had been her initial plan, and in fact even having the hypothetical idea in her mind was enough to start up a serious case of guilt-induced acid reflux ... but kerry had left her no other choice. it HAD to be considered since, in rogue's mind, he'd framed it as something she would never do. and when faced with someone telling her something couldn't / shouldn't / wouldn't be done the truth was quick to surface: rogue was, at her core, a pissy teenager who wanted nothing more than to do the opposite of what was expected or needed of her. it was the quickest way to get negative attention, and negative attention was the only kind of attention that really STUCK.
( she was an adult. an extra adult. a SUPER adult. these grounding thoughts along with the sound of his laugh were what brought her back to reality, the idea of opening a corporate safe haven shooed from her mind just as quickly as it had appeared. )
" would you give me the 'old friend favor' discount, or should i start preparing to sell an organ or two? " she assumed it would be about one kidney for an acoustic set, and half a lung for all the bells and whistles. pretty fair for the star power he brought along with him. " just for the record, i'm willing to pay extra if you let me choose the setlist. "
"You serious?" His fault for not taking her more seriously, he guessed. If he had to be in the shittiest part of NC, he supposed it would be for Rogue and only Rogue. ...Okay, Kelvy too, but that wasn't the point. Seemed to him like he was actually gettin' dangerously close to agreeing to doing this for her.
"I guess I could give ya the discount. Choosin' the setlist'll definitely set ya back a pretty penny though, Amendiares. Better get ready t'sell a lung," he'd remark, rubbing his hands together like a greedy, sleezy salesman. Within just a couple moments, he'd let his arms drop and his relaxed stance returned.
Honestly, what he really want out of her? He didn't need much, in terms of favors. Didn't need much in terms of money, either (much to the dismay of his managers, new and old).
"Eh," Kerry shrugged his shoulders. "We'll deal with all'a that talk once construction actually starts and dates are reserved. Ain't gotta thing t'worry about." He was both excited and terrified (as well as curious beyond belief) about what Rogue would choose for him to perform, but he was way more than up to the challenge.
Vik didn't need perfect words; those were impossible to come up with, much less convey. That Kerry heard him and understood, that he wasn't alone anymore while drifting through this feeling... it was enough for Vik, too.
A bit more lingering tension unwound from his back and shoulders when Kerry's hand rested over his. Man, as soon as it'd be safe to do so, Vik would wrap his partner up in the biggest, tightest hug. He probably wouldn't let go for a good while, either, not until or unless Kerry complained.
"That other shit should wait." Vik's insistence was soft - and kind of selfish, though not so much that he'd walk it back.
Kerry was still bedridden, still had a broken arm, and had only recently regained mental clarity. If anyone barged in right now insisting on talking tour, Vik might threaten them. Nonetheless, reason cut in.
"...But even if it doesn't, you don't hafta deal with it on your own. I'm not goin' anywhere, sweetheart."
A breath of laughter escaped Kerry. That hand cradling Vik's brought Vik's hand down to his lip, pressing a soft kiss to his palm before bringing it back up to allow the caressing to continue. Man, he was so cute. He loved him, probably too much. He always sorta felt like he was setting himself up for failure, let himself have something like this again. But how could he ever hope to resist when Vik made him so happy?
"Yer so cute when y'get all guard dog," Kerry jested, another short giggle tumbled out. Reminded him of-- okay, that needed to stop immediately. Comparing almost never went well, even when harmless. It was just nice, really having someone on his side again. Vik had basically always been like that, ever since he met him, but it never stopped the warmth from spreading in his chest.
The fact that Vik was there, and had no plans to go anywhere was such a damn relief. He knew how him being away from the clinic had gotten better with time, but he also knew still how he clung to his work. Kerry never doubted that Vik would be there in situations like these, when he really needed him, but it still felt like such a relief. Being along in that room would've been hell, even if they'd still have been able to have their calls.
"Good... wouldn't be able t'do it without ya." That shit would come with time, but he did hope they could just be left alone for a while. He was still so damn tired, his head still pretty foggy. Rest, contacting Louise, the kids, V, 'n' Johnny... then maybe he could start entertaining the idea of whether he wanted to keep going on with the tour or not.
As much as he knew he needed to just let it be for the time being, Kerry couldn't push the thought of what was gonna happen too far from his mind. The fate of tour, what he wanted to do... but also, what about everything else?
God, he really just needed to relax.
"Ugh, I just wanna be home. Want you t'help me forget all this shit goin' on." What he would give to not remember his own name in that moment.
the morgue was a morgue. it had been a cheap location, something which at the time felt cool, the perfect way to separate HER afterlife from the honky tonk nightmare she'd bought out. the fact that it had become part of the branding wasn't on purpose, just as having drinks dedicated to various people on the menu had never been the plan. these things just happened ── people took things that were personal to rogue and assigned their own meaning. low rent turned into a statement. the scent of a comforting and familiar drink always being within arms reach became the beginnings of what many had lovingly described as a death cult. rogue made choices for herself and then allowed others to let them get out of hand.
but sure. why not ? no reason to change the old pattern now. it was all about confronting death and how people felt about it. that sounded like a respectable enough reason. thanks for that, ker !
even though rogue held little to none of the same worries kerry did when it came to possible employees losing their minds on her watch, she would still be more than happy to take it into consideration. he wasn't wrong, there was nothing special about her or the promise of employment that would stop any actual psychosis from taking hold, no matter how confident rogue was in her ability to keep herself safe.
" kerry, i already make women dance in tubes. when will it be enough for you? " her comment was just about as serious as kerry's idea had been -- which, she hoped, was not serious at all. " cyberpsychos and naked women aside, if i were to go through with this my main competition - the only competition, really - would be heavy hearts. they have seniority, they have atmosphere, and god bless'em they even have bleecker. so in order to make it actually work here we'd have to do the opposite of everything they've done, carve out a niche that's complimentary, not competitive. "
live music really, truly, genuinely hadn't been her goal ; in fact it had been on the list of things to avoid. but it was something heavy hearts didn't have, so ... " they'll never have you, ker-bear. and that's some anatomy nobody can beat. "
Kerry couldn't help but break into giggles, the facetious tone of Rogue's remark getting him good. Couldn't blame a man for tryin'. Hell, didn't have t'be women if she wanted a little variety, but he wouldn't push it further, even in jest.
Listening to her, Kerry's expression faltered just slightly and nodded his head. Really, it didn't seem like that tall of an order. The vibes of a place like Heavy Hearts and Afterlife, of all things, were already complete opposites.
"Wouldn't worry about them, really," he mused aloud. "Afterlife ain't exactly known for attractin' the corpo elite of NC, so I doubt you're lookin' for that kinda clientele for this new branch." Kerry allowed himself to lean back against one of the staircases. "The real shit competition would just be with Mr. Hands-- but, that ain't my area."
His grin, his laugh, returned with Rogue's words. Guess he couldn't argue with her there.
"Not Heavy Hearts, not Black Sapphire. Fuckers don't got enough eddies on the damn planet. But for you? Eh, I guess I could do a favor for an old friend," he teased.
