Explorations on 'Self' by BoENFP

A somewhat unhealthy ENFP struggling in a unhealthy world

[boenfp]

Open-mindedness vs chronic inertia

Asking myself the question, 'why not?' I usually have an answer, so I don't actually do much with myself, principally because I don't feel like it. But I always ask.

[boenfp]

Love long-term

It feels like something that's slowly dying, but leaving would be like hacking off your own limb. Like a choice between living in half life but feeling whole, or living in full with something missing.

[boenfp]

surrounded by crisps

I feel so hungry like I need some proper nourishment but I'm just surrounded by crisps. I keep eating the crisps life throws at me, it sort of satisfies for a bit but I still feel hungry and then I eat too many crisps and feel kind of sick, then I dream of never having to eat crisps again, but that's all there is, just fucking crisps. Occasionally I find some bread and make a crisp sandwich, but it's still not a fucking meal is it? And it's just dressed up crisps really. Or I try to find pictures of other foods and live vicariously by pretending I'm someone else eating pie and chips. But after a bit the pie goes mouldy and the chips dry out and it's all just crisps again. Every now and then life throws me a KitKat and it's tasty as fuck, but as sweet as it is, I'll be hungry again soon and it's back to shitting crisps again.