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EXO-HANNIBAL-HXH-STAR TREK- STAR WARS

[numero-impar]

Me da miedo pensar en que alguna vez hemos hecho cosas por última vez y ni nos hemos dado cuenta, la última vez que saliste a jugar con tus amigos, ese último beso que no sabías que sería el último, esa última platica con quien menos lo esperabas, esa última sonrisa, la última caricia a tu mascota…

[bomarshall]

la miseria tiene nombre, la miseria duerme conmigo, la miseria sueña conmigo...

[bomarshall]

amor de juguete

[bomarshall]

un alma sin cuerpo, una mente sin vida

[bomarshall]

A pesar de tu presencia en mí vida, te siento lejano a mí realidad

[iamurako]

[mellamojayr]

woof woof 🐾

[mellamojayr]

RIDUUR.

[chainxreaction]

dinluke

[ocd-kenobi]

According to my friend who is reading Star Wars: Labyrinth of Evil at some point in it Obi-Wan “jokes” that Qui-Gon should have left Anakin at Watto’s and as one could imagine it didn’t go over well apparently. I personally haven’t gotten to that book yet, but holy hell Obi-Wan that is not a joke you should be making. Especially to Anakin have you met that dude? He was always going to take that SUPER personally. Plus it’s just fucked up to joke that maybe this kid should have been left enslaved. 

When they told me that it stopped me in my tracks. That’s just cold blooded man.

I don't usually incorporate things into my characterization until I've read them with my own eyes, but of course, Obi-Wan IS the same guy who left Anakin in lava with his limbs chopped off, so it's no surprise he can be a cold bitch sometimes! When I get to this part of the book, maybe it will be added to my list of things Obi-Wan obsesses over wishing he hadn't done haha.

[ocd-kenobi]

I just borrowed Labyrinth of Evil from archive.org so I could do a text searches for "watto", "tatooine", "slave", and "slavery". I could not find the instance your friend was talking about. Could it have been a different book?

What I did find is that the two references in the book to Anakin remaining a slave in Tatooine instead of joining the jedi were from Anakin and Padme's points of view, and they both romanticized the hell out of his life there. So if Anakin were to be super offended by a joke that he should have stayed there, it would be a more complex, twisted issue in his head.

[ocd-kenobi]

Omg I found it!

(Search term was "watto's")

It's actually pretty loving and about his affinity for mechanics? I hope that makes you feel better!

[evilmaster37]

silly anakin, don't you know you can't fraternize with your padawan like that!!!!!!!

[dtrvdtrv]

defender

[predator-padawan]

I see a lot of people say Anakin needs to get the “noise fucked out of his head” by Obi-Wan, but I recall you saying that it isn’t Anakin who has a lot of noise in his head. Would you elaborate on this a bit? How and why you came to that conclusion? It seems to be universally agreed upon that Anakin does have a fuck tone of noise in his head that I think about you saying that a lot.

I think this might have to do with me defining "noise" differently than a lot of people in the fandom!

For me, "noise" means obsessive, constant, useless, spiraling rumination. A plethora of concrete thoughts and anxieties that can only be alleviated by sensation or emotion so strong they become nothing but a faint static background hum (hence the fucking). To me, noise means a cacophony of contradicting interior voices battling each other, a million potential outcomes or conversations played out a infinitum.

I don't see Anakin having that. I see Anakin as having a tremendous amount of emotion, not in his head, but his heart. In Rogue Planet he describes feeling like he has a "sun" burning inside. Anakin is often conflicted, angry, insecure, passionate--but the way it's described, textually, is through a feeling or sensory lens rather than a wordy, anxious one. He rarely fixates on or even thinks about the things that upset him for very long--he acts. Makes a rash decision. He is connected to the Force preternaturally, so he often knows instinctively what that decision is, and can sense an outcome a second before it happens, and knows what to do.

Conversely, Obi-Wan is an endless ruminator. He sees all side of things and worries about them and turns them over in his mind and imagines all the different manners in which something could play out (or go wrong) and puts off making decisions until the a last minute--or at all.

In short, when Anakin is faced with a problem or an emotion, clutches and holds on and takes control and acts. Obi-Wan worries and worries and worries and then, ultimately, surrenders, lets go, gives it up to the Force so he doesn't have to make the choice himself.

I get this mostly from the books. Anakin's POV is often short, clear, sentences with conclusions he comes to easily based on his confidence that he is right due to his connection to the Force. Even when he is conflicted or upset in a book, it usually isn't "noisy" by my definition. It's emotional, and powerful, and all consuming for a moment, and then, from that place of blind feeling, he makes a a fierce and abrupt conclusion amid it all:

"He would make him do so."

"He knew from the bottom of his heart."

"No Uncertainty."

Conversely, Obi-Wan's narration in many books is extremely meandering and cyclical and anxious and repetitive. It absolutely feels like noise to me--there are so many words, over and over again with no reprieve. This is very related to my headcanon that Obi-Wan has OCD (my wife is @ocd-kenobi and has tons of sceencaps pulled from a bunch of different novels on this subject). He questions himself constantly, repeats things, goes back and repeats them again, and it never gets better. So much repetition. So much noise.

'was it really? " "he switched them" Three more times." "Agitated and Jittery."

"Terrified of being terrified." "Anger a path to the dark side." "Fear a path to the dark side."

"Trying." "Trying." "Chasing his own fears around in a circle."

Ultimately, oth Obi-Wan and Anakin are messy and internally conflicted characters. But I feel like Anakin's inner turmoil and conflict is emotional, feeling-based, nonverbal, powerful. He doesn't fight with himself or battle himself. In fact, the conflicting voice in his head isn't even his own--it's Palpatine. And to me that doesn't feel like "noise" that can be fucked away. He doesn't like to surrender in his moments of rage and emotion, he likes to take control, to pilot something, to move, to run, to be one with the Force. Obi-Wan, however, has verbose, constant, repeated, obsessive THOUGHTS in his head he can't escape--and I dunno I just feel like being overpowered and dicked down to shut it up falls in like with his repeated compulsion to give things away to the Force rather than deal with them, all under the guise of being a good Jedi.

I think for me, it boils down to this: I read Obi-Wan as an Overthinker and Anakin as an Over-Feeler, Obi-Wan as cerebral and up in his head Anakin as corporeal, and deeply rooted in his body.

[flashbulb-memory]

Hello! I found your blog from predator-padawan’s posts, and I hope you don’t mind me coming in to your inbox. I see you agreeing and giving your cents on some of her posts, which I assume that means you read Anakin and Obi-Wan as she is, and I am a sucker towards opinions of people who perceive their characters like that! So, what are your personal thoughts and analysis of Anakin and Obi-Wan, both as a ahip and individually? Such as, what do you personally really like about them? About their dynamic? If there are any part of their dynamic that reminds you of your favorite tropes in literature? Thank you!

Hello, dear Anonymous! Thank you for your wonderful question, I absolutely don’t mind :) Yes, @predator-padawan and I align in our views on these characters and the relationship itself in many-many ways: the power dynamic, how we perceive the overall implications of the story, the inherent neutrality of the Force, the horror aspects of it, and that we both have our preferred readings that might or might not match the initial authorial intent or broader fandom trends (yes, it is highly unlikely GL planned AOTC to come across as a Hitchcockian thriller, no, I absolutely do not care, as long as whatever lens I choose determines my fun with the work of art). In fact, Phoenix is the one responsible for me getting into obikin, since she kept telling me these delicious stories about the Kenobi series and I was not able to resist <3 I think, the major difference between our interpretive approaches is that she chooses to view Obi-Wan and Anakin through the prism of religious symbolism, while I stick more to a Greek Tragedy-influenced vision. I am going to answer generally, and then please feel free to follow up if any particular points stand out to you/you would like me to elaborate. The reason why I lean towards classical drama is because I fucking love Tragedy, I LOVE it as a genre. There is no bigger Sophocles' simp than I 💅 I have talked about some aspects of it in my musings on Anakin as Oedipus, in my Operatic Obikin Impressions, and also briefly daydreamed about a centaur mentor!Obi-Wan/demigod apprentice!Anakin scenario (which I think is especially fun, because it puts them both in that intermediate state of existence as a combination of two implausible things; also centaurs = hot). You can see it in most of my edits, since it allows me to play around with various passions of mine. — continued under the cut — 

Anakin comes across distinctly as a Tragic Hero (as in, the protagonist of a tragedy), in my opinion. In fact, he fits that role much better than any contemporary toothless portrayal of the Greek mythological figures that we currently have. I love him as an unruly godling that gets caught up in his own legend, screwed over by the foul council and circumstances of the time and place he inhabits. I love the inhuman eldritch elements that shape him into something deific & monstrous, as in Bloodborne’s adage: blood makes us human, blood makes us more than human, blood makes us human no more. I love him as an active agent of his own ruin. I also love his story as a story of a romantic bright boy betrayed and crushed by the system, who, even after all that time and all that suffering, was still able to choose differently and be redeemed. His narrative is the tragedy of “antagonism between pure will and a disjointed world”. Unfortunately, it is his role to set that fracture. The paradox of each tragic hero is that they are exceptional, yet what makes them exceptional is also what dictates their underside flaws, which inevitably leads to catastrophe - yet only through that very catastrophe can they regain their stature of moral, idealistic heroes. These are all the features I see when I look at Anakin’s story. He is brilliant, a true genius in many ways, charismatic, passionately devoted to his ideals, capable of great empathy and great sacrifice. At the same time he is a ruthless, petulant, arrogant, often callous, might makes right type of a man. His heritage as a demigod makes him an outsider, makes him something else, something both awe-inspiring and terrifying - a discussion Phoenix and I had, which you probably saw. 

On the other hand, if the Universe necessitates Anakin, Anakin himself necessitates Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is a more complicated figure, because he is less extreme in his role and his expressions. In many ways, he transformed into who he is thanks to the nuanced, honest, vulnerable performances by Alec Guinness and Ewan McGregor, and less so thanks to the script. I have a lot of tender feelings for Obi-Wan, because he is a man of absolute faith and perseverance, a devotee. He possesses such powerful inner light that he manages to overcome his own many sufferings and agonies, as well as save the man he loves when anybody else would have walked away. He is both shaping Vaderkin and reacting to him. They are like communicating vessels - they define and balance each other. I think, my favourite thing about Obi-Wan is how near everything about him is oxymoronic. He is a mentor who is subservient to his apprentice, he is a wise man who is blind when it matters most, he is outwardly confident and inwardly undermined by all-consuming feelings of inadequacy, etc. It is a very humane, complex portrayal of what was supposed to be a straightforward Wizard archetype.

When it comes to Obikin…god, what is there not to like? It is a fantastic dynamic, especially because it covers a huge chunk of both their lives and because they go through so many intense, dramatic and defining stages together. I am generally very fond of Mentor/Mentee ships, and I love that for them the typical power imbalance is reversed. Obi-Wan’s maternal/spousal role is very sexy! Their Clone Wars' ‘Comrade Loves of the Samurai’ type of a relationship is another weakness of mine, lol. At any and all points, they idealize each other and then worship and loathe these perfect non-existent versions. Still, the love they feel for each other, even when it becomes all twisted, never disappears and it is so powerful! I adore the queer subtext of it too of course, the long tumultuous journey through the thorns of self-loathing & desire to self-discovery to ultimate self-acceptance. The hopeful aspect of it, how you don’t need to throw yourself on Hector’s sword after all, when you can change and inspire change in others, no doomed is ever too doomed. 

One thing I really enjoy about the movies in particular, is that whoever was responsible for the casting clearly had a stroke of genius, because to pick actors with such different styles who were still able to perform successfully together is a miracle. I joke that at any point in the prequels Hayden is giving me Herakles, Ewan - Blanche from A Streetcar Named Desire, and poor Natalie is doing her best at performing what the script is asking of her. The resulting cacophony should, by no means, work...yet is presents the final product so much more interesting than what it was supposed to be. Creative inconsistencies and tensions are things I love most, they spark my imagination, create perfect unaccounted for spaces where I can facilitate all my points of preference :) 

This was very long-winded, hopefully it answers your question! Thank you for your prompt that gave me an opportunity to talk about all this. Obviously, even though I speak in a statement form here, this is just my approach and my interpretation; last thing I would claim to be (or would want to claim) is a Star Wars expert of any kind, ahaha. 

[predator-padawan]

occasionally you talk about how anakin has an oedipal complex when it comes to obi-wan and it’s honestly all i can think about sometimes. because i feel like anakin has three parental figures in his life: shmi, qui-gon, and then obi-wan.  

and with shmi it’s like. he lived longer without her than with her. she gave him the best life she could on tattooine, and then she gave him up so he could have a better life, and then some ten years later she died. so there’s this immense, intense love but just as immense, intense regret.  as a result shmi ends up on this pedestal as a figure that’s untouchable, unimpeachable; the same pedestal he puts padme on.  

with qui-gon, he’s a fairytale. anakin knew him so briefly, but the man swept into his life and freed him from slavery and promised him power. he’s a textbook fantasy, and he doesn’t live long enough to spoil the idea. all anakin knows about qui-gon is extrapolated from a scant amount of time together and then whatever anakin decides best fits the version of him in his head. and i doubt obi-wan would ever try to tell him otherwise, or ever paint qui-gon in a bad light.

so obi-wan gets all the blame. qui-gon might’ve been the one to sweep him away to this cold, foreign land and brought him to this sterile, harsh temple but qui-gon is not the one alive when anakin realizes he hates it. obi-wan is the one there after every lecture or failing grade or jeering taunt from a peer, so obi-wan is the one who takes the burden of anakin’s resentments and anger.

which leaves obi-wan in an impossible situation, because he’s being constantly compared to two figures who are, by definition, faultless. they’re not real people, they’re ideals. the martyr mother, the savior father. so anakin hates him, and resents him, and yet still never doubts that obi-wan will remain by his side because that’s how children are, isn’t it? taking parents for granted even when they should know better, and anakin should know better with all he’s lost. but an idea of a world without obi-wan is so inconceivable to him he doesn’t register it.

and all of this would be hard enough as it is in a normal situation, but of course this isn’t a normal situation. how could it be when anakin skywalker is involved?  

anakin, holding obi-wan to impossible standards. getting enraged when he fails to meet them.  getting enraged when he does meet them. possessive of his time, covetous of his attention.  sneering over obi-wan’s perfect mask at the same time he’s falling for it, at the same time he’s getting himself off to the idea of ripping it off. 

I don't even have anything to add, this is just so good and true and right on the money. Qui-Gon and Shmi really are these idealized, perfect, Platonic Ideal parental figures, meaning all the weight of true, messy, flawed mentorship and parenting fall to Obi-Wan. Who is young! IN HIS TWENTIES!! Suffering through unsupported grief in the confines a religious order very ill suited to his new Padawan's specific needs, not to mention his own. It's the perfect storm, honestly, for absolutely toxic, messy codependency and crossed wires and resentment.. Which is honestly why this pairing compels me so--they cannot be categorized into neat roles, not in their regard for each other. The power dynamic is so complex and multi-layered and irreparably fucked up and it is doomed to be this way from the very beginning for all the reasons you highlighted. So delightful!

[interviewpilledvampirecel]

bonus points if you can guess which vaderwan fic this is for :P

[interviewpilledvampirecel]

progress is being made……….

[predator-padawan]

GIRL IM FUCKING BREATHLESS THIS IS STUNNING YOU ARE STUNNING

[predator-padawan]

yesterday i was watching aotc after years and i forgot how creepy anakin is here.

he has such a strange, intense vibe. different from in rots. just how he looks at people. especially padme. poor girl. I'd get her out of there myself.

and i think, obi-wan spent years with that boy acting like this? he never saw how huh. weird it was or he just closed his eyes and said it's anakin. he is different <3

Obi-Wan is so gone, so compromised. You know those isolated ass old ladies who feed their rescue chihuahuas treats every day, and the chihuahua hates every other living thing so they don't bring it out on walks or anything, just sit inside feeding it treats and it gets steadily more aggressive and overweight until its just a thick log of biting snarling chihuahua but the old lady literally doesn't notice because its too slow and daily a transformation to track? and its not until her adult children come to visit and bring her a casserole and they see the monstrosity her dog has become that they're like "omg mom you need to call a dog trainer and get some diet kibble?" that's Obi-Wan with Anakin. He's just neck deep, up his ass, can't see how weird and creepy his behavior is because it's just normal to him. He's been answering this weirdo kid's incessant questions every day. He didn't notice when they tipped the scale from childhood curiosity into red flag. I love it. He's such a mess!!!

Like with Padme...Anakin straight up is like "fascism is cool." He violates all her firmly set boundaries. Touches her without consent. She looks like a terrified deer about to bolt in every scene of that movie with him, full blown terrified. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan looks like this:

it is SO EMBARASSING!!

[bomarshall]

ESTABA ENTERRADO HASTA LA CABEZA