so uh gonna archive this blog and eventually delete it and everything will be moved, just a P.S.A
Not today Justin
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@bonejcnes-a
so uh gonna archive this blog and eventually delete it and everything will be moved, just a P.S.A
bruh moment
yo call.out post to @sukkubxs for being too much fun at Disney World and not praying to our funny snowman god on Frozen© Funny© Flume© Fest©$$$$$
seriously though please check her out 👌
hellrager·:
When Damien opened the door, he was about ready to throw a fiery punch at the asshole that was constantly knocking. When he realized it was Frank, the devil’s flames died down to leave the High Schooler with a risen eyebrow. Wow, Frank really was excited about it, it had to be some kind of big job. Well, it sure sounded like fun.
“Yeah, how about you come inside first?”
Damien closed the door behind Frank and walked over to the sofa, to plop down beside Shuck his hellhound, the canine raising all three of its heads curiously at Frank. “Okay, so someone wants someone dead - sounds rad! But why is the letter damp?”
Unless it had been in a bottle or used for the wrong purposes, Damien could only assume it had something to do with some kind of merkingdom bullshit. Though, Miri’s family had no reason to hire headhunters like Frank and Damien here. So that left the devil wondering.
"...Alright."
Frank stepped inside, place was just as hot as the outside, and makes him thankful he never wears a shirt. The brain in his jar swiveled towards the sight of a three headed dog, reminds him a lot of his fights against greek myth, but Cerberus was way bigger, and much more vicious. Frank merely scratched one of their ears before sitting down next to Damien on the couch with a thud.
"Reason being for why the letter is so damp is because it's from an unspecified part of the ocean! I'm half-sure it's somewhere off the coast of the Caribbean, but i'm not sure. Lemme open it."
Frank used his dagger-like claw to open the envelope, unfolding a wet piece of paper, somehow the ink was still on it and readable.
"*Ahem*, 'Dear bloodthirsty mercenaries,
It has come to my attention that one of you is a profound expert at political espionage and murder, I am contacting you in the hopes you will take up on my offer on the assassination of Miranda Vanderbilt, a tyrannical princess that has kept the kingdom under an iron fist for too long, attached behind this document is a list of inhumane crimes she has committed against us. I do not expect failure, as I am aware of your previous work in such quarrels against certain royalties.
Anonymous Agent of the Merkingdom Freedom Rebellion.'"
Frank looked at the document behind it, full of crimes and information about their target, and of course, their reward for if they pull this off. Doesn't that princess go to the same school as Damien?
"Oh joy! Political 'espionage' really isn't my gig, it's more of 'one-man political riots involving direct physical combat with the person i'm protesting', but that's just for democracies, I can easily crash and burn monarchies, fascist regimes, y'know, stuff like that. So, you wanna kill a princess? Unconventionally? Like, I ain't gonna slip poison into her cake, i'm talkin' like, actually just tearing shit up on the spot."
Frank probably isn't aware about the fact that same princess goes to the same school as Damien, let alone one of his friends. Even then, Frank doesn't really care about any moral end goal of this, he honestly just really wants to get paid for kicking someone's ass.
"Your place is nice, by the way. Wish my apartment was on fire twenty four seven."
ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀ ꜰᴏʀ @bonejcnes
Word around Halloween town did not have to travel far. A new comer? A skeleton from the outside? Jack was informed almost immediately, for the Mayor always was prone to have panic attacks if Jack didn’t sort things out. Though he didn’t see the big fuss.. he planned on just greeting the skeleton with open arms. Or rather, an extended hand,
“Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King. A pleasure to meet you.”
"Hm? Oh."
Jones turned towards the other, equally suited skeleton before him. He had been closely watching the town square's fountain, which seemed to be bubbling more than usual at the moment.
"Name's Jones, paranormal investigator. 'Think I took a wrong turn, i've been uh, 'summoned', by a fortune teller (or something) that doesn't live too far from here. Know anyone by the name of Madame Leota?"
Jones continued to look at his surroundings, namely eyeing the sinister-looking decor and... execution devices? Good lord, he hopes the town doesn't actually use any of those, then again, kingdoms under monarchy, should this guy be an actual king, tend to use those.
@suseonhada CLONES!!!
"I swear, I gotta file, like, a trademark or a copyright on 'Frankenstein' one of these days... Curse you public domain..."
Frank looked down at the other 'stein. Should he be amazed, curious, disgusted? He's not sure, he's just flat-out confused and kind of uncomfortable. It was like finding himself, but under the rule of sixty-three and minus all the things that made him cool and violent, stripped down to that creature Universal Studios adapted way back when.
"So... do you also feel mild disgust when you see like, i'unno, a 'Sexy Frankenstein' costume or some tacky Frankenstein prop or animatronic whenever you walk into the Spirit Halloween Store? It's like i'm being harassed by Hollywood's disgusting spawns."
Frank forgets he's in a universe where humans and monsters possibly have role-reversal and the Spirit Halloween Stores probably don't exist here, but worth an ask.
@hellrager and Frank are hired!
IT ALL STARTED WITH A MAILBOX CONTAINING A GREAT DEAL OF MYSTERY, WHICH SUBESEQUENTLY LEAD TO AN ENVELOPE FROM BENEATH THE OCEAN THAT ALSO HELD A GREAT DEAL OF MYSTERY...
"Great Dames! You're up! GuEeEeEeEsSsS WhAAAAAAT?!"
It was nearly four in the morning, and Frank was already standing in front of Damien's house glowing with enthusiasm, and residual embers from trekking through Hell. He had been banging on the door for ten minutes like some sort of manic solicitor.
"We got ourselves our first contract! That's right baby, we're in business! That microwave gun I gave ya can finally be put to good use! Furthermore, someone has recognized our expertise in, you guessed it, MURDER! In short, someone wants someone dead, and we're their graceful executioner so someone A doesn't have to do the dirty work that makes someone B not-alive."
Frank held up an envelope in his robotic claw, his spectrogram twisting to a grin.
"This envelope arrived in my mailbox yesterday, a bit oddly damp, but still readable. It contains everything we need to know about our target, their identity, where they live, how well their defenses are, y'know, all that crap! I haven't opened it yet, 'cause I wanted it to be a surprise. So whaddya say, you in to get your mitts dirty?"
xjelani·:
By the looks of it alone, this skeleton seemed to have already taken a right on misery road. There’s pinch of dread in her gut when he looks back at her. Two blackened, barren holes of where she guessed his eyes were staring back at her, a smile of teeth without lips (she’s tense).
Still, her aim remains steady, her finger ghosting over the trigger. She’s stalling, and she knows it – as if morbid curiosity held her there. (How is she supposed to kill a man already dead?)
“I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to disclose that information.” She says, cooly. That ever-present almost feline-like smile never faltering. “I am, though, a little interested in how you came abouts.” She waves that gun at him anyway, gesturing towards himself with it. “You look like something straight out of a nightmare.”
"I get that a lot. Your contractor's an idiot, there better be something damn special 'bout that gun you're waving around, 'cause it seems pretty regular to me."
Jones got up from his seat, walked up without an inch of fear in his eyes, and clenched the barrel of the gun, keeping it aimed at his head, point blank. There was a chilling glare from his eyes, it's almost as if he's been through this stuff before. "Monster hunters" who think they can simply take him down with physcial trauma and regular firearms? Yup, he's been through that before.
"I've seen enough horror in life to sustain me for an eternal rest, so if you're so bold, why don't you do me a favor and pull that damn trigger. I wanna see my brains splattered everywhere, oh wait, my brain decayed several years ago, eaten by insects infecting my rotting body as I layed asleep in a coffin for about a hundred or so years. So you feelin' lucky? You feelin' like a regular bullet can finally lay me to rest when several things that can be ranked on a higher level of danger than a measely bullet can?!"
Was Jones suicidal? Not really, this was more of an intimidation tactic to get her to drop the weapon, even if that gun was fired, Jones would be right. It'd be painful, sure, but he'd live, his bones heal, that was a proven fact from years of experience. He sees that behind the other's smile, there is fear and uncertainty, and knows without a doubt that this gun, while able to kill, is just a painful placebo to him. For now, Jones just wants her to relenquish the gun, he doesn't want to fight someone hired by someone for who all he could know could be the paranormal, since it's always something in that realm that seems to want him dead.
"Either shoot, or surrender, your choice, really, but I can imagine option A not going in your favor."
ALTERNATE TAKE
𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !
FULL NAME. Frank Einstein II PRONUNCIATION. Fffffuuuuuhhhraaaaaannnnkkkkkuuuhhhh NICKNAME. The Monster Composite, The Chimera Project, Frankenstein II, The Brain, “Crazy Karlov”, “The Mad Monster Mash”, Prometheus’ Bane. GENDER. Male HEIGHT. 8″ AGE. 5, has been under development since 1900 SPOKEN LANGUAGES. English, German, Crazy Person
𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 !
HAIR COLOR. None EYE COLOR. None BODY TYPE. Upper torso is more defined than his lower torso and legs. ACCENT. American VOICE. Slightly high pitched voice emanating from his brain that’s easily able to be altered. Chest bellows like a crocodile, and sometimes lets out roars that sound like human screaming. DOMINANT HAND. Whichever works. POSTURE. More often than not slouched forward and walking with his arms and legs. TATTOOS. None BIRTHMARKS. None MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). Almost everything. His head, especially, is a brain encapsulated in a jar.
𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 !
PLACE OF BIRTH. Frankenstein’s Castle, Germany HOMETOWN. Queens, New York BIRTH WEIGHT. 400 lbs. BIRTH HEIGHT. 8″ MANNER OF BIRTH. Electricity and corpse-defiling. FIRST WORDS. This. SIBLINGS. ??? PARENTS. A bunch of dead scientists. PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT. He killed them.
𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 !
OCCUPATION. Enforcer, Mercenary, Hired Muscle, Bouncer (once), Monster Slayer, Tech Support (Once), Professional Gamer (Once), God (Once) CURRENT RESIDENCE. A two story apartment in Queens, complete with a small basement and an elevator to the subway tunnels. CLOSE FRIENDS. Jones, Spirit, Getaway, other distant friends. RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Single FINANCIAL STATUS. Questionable DRIVER’S LICENSE. No, but that won’t stop him CRIMINAL RECORD. Murder, political espionage, collateral damages, firearm discharge, vandalism, being involved in organized crime, arson, too much other trivial stuff to list down.
𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 !
SEXUAL ORIENTATION. asexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION. asexual PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch | equal PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch | equal LIBIDO. TURN ON’S. Literally incapable of feeling sexual arousal TURN OFF’S. Bringing up his incapability of feeling sexual arousal. LOVE LANGUAGE. Will protect you free of charge if he likes you, but will also be incredibly spontaneously invasive. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. Just friends.
𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 !
CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. Any over the top boss theme that pretty much ensures the message of “You’re fucked.” Needs at least an electric guitar or a tense orchestra. HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. Watch TV / Movies, sleep, video games, picking a fight with any monster he finds in the sewer. MENTAL ILLNESSES. WTF? PHYSICAL ILLNESSES. A bunch. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. The back? PHOBIAS. atychiphobia, but aside from that, he’s mostly fearless, which is a good and a bad thing. SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. very high. VULNERABILITIES. Not very smart, easily able to be outwitted, warped sense of reality, every body part has an individual physical weakness.
TAGGED BY / vrrotten TAGGING / idk lol you
repost, don’t reblog !
𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !
FULL NAME. Geoffrey Bartholomew Jones PRONUNCIATION. Jef-free NICKNAME. Death’s Suit, Bone, “Bonehead”, “Omen of Something Wicked” GENDER. Male HEIGHT. 6'9 AGE. 167 SPOKEN LANGUAGES. English, Spanish, Latin, French
𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 !
HAIR COLOR. None EYE COLOR. Bright yellow BODY TYPE. Tall, lanky, built like a twig. ACCENT. American VOICE. Deep and gruff, but not in an aggressive sense. DOMINANT HAND. Right though able to utilize his left in fights. POSTURE. Upright, hands are normally behind his back, and his chest is normally outward. TATTOOS. None BIRTHMARKS. None MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). Has no skin, more often than not wears yellow mirror shades everywhere, a red tie proclaiming to be trophy from fighting the Slender Man.
𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 !
PLACE OF BIRTH. Hell’s Kitchen, New York HOMETOWN. Queens, New York BIRTH WEIGHT. ??? BIRTH HEIGHT. ??? MANNER OF BIRTH. Mother died during childbirth, Father was not present as he was working in a meat-packing facility. FIRST WORDS. shitfuck SIBLINGS. ??? PARENTS. Rick Jones, May Jones PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT. Jones didn’t know either of his parents much, especially his mother. His father was primarily always busy in a meat-packing facility, though if he remembers right, he was often shunned due to the birthing process killing his mother. His father later died in the factory’s horrible conditions, leaving Jones orphaned at around age 13. Jones later fought his father revisiting the same factory in 2014, banishing him from the mortal plane. Both parents are deceased, Mother passed away during Jones’ birth, Father’s soul was twisted and mutated through hardships and tragedy in life, currently unknown if the necromantic energy affecting Jones is affecting his bloodline too, or his Father manifested from the rough conditions of the factory killing him whole he was harrowed by May’s death, or both.
𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 !
OCCUPATION. Detective, Exterminator, Paranormal Investigator, Mercenary, Private Investigator, Monster Slayer, Huntsman (on one occasion). CURRENT RESIDENCE. A two story apartment in Queens, complete with a small basement and an elevator to the subway tunnels. CLOSE FRIENDS. Frank, Spirit, Getaway, other distant friends. RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Single FINANCIAL STATUS. Moderate, somehow. DRIVER’S LICENSE. Yes CRIMINAL RECORD. Murder, political espionage, collateral damages, firearm discharge, all pardoned.
𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 !
SEXUAL ORIENTATION. heterosexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION. heterosexual PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch | equal PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch | equal LIBIDO. TURN ON’S. ??? TURN OFF’S. Skeleton jokes. LOVE LANGUAGE. Will give you a nickname if he tolerates you. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. He misses his wife and kids.
𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 !
CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. A bunch, depending on the context of the situation. (x x x x x) HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. Watch TV / Movies, work on archived cases, do research on paranormal hotspots MENTAL ILLNESSES. Bipolar disorder, minor PTSD PHYSICAL ILLNESSES. has no fucking skin LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. gone PHOBIAS. atychiphobia SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. high VULNERABILITIES. gullible if you’re convincing about it, is still troubled by his past
TAGGED BY / @vrrotten TAGGING / idk lol you
“I’ll sell you this totem of power for five money. I don’t need it, but it still looks cool. You coul turn it like…into a cool belt buckle or a necklace.”
CRASH! Five money, or, five gold bars, one of them has a blood spatter on it. Probably best not to question where he obtained it.
"I'll take it! I'll put it next to Bonzo's totem and Azathoth's totem. Now how much are you selling the cult for?!"
"Called some dumbass in the youtube comments section 'Squidward' today."
@zgords
"Ah shit, here we go again..."
Jones' utter sense of tranquility and concentration was shattered when he felt a dark familiarity creeping up his spine. Something he hadn't felt in years, and something he doesn't want to go through again. He was initially waiting in the cafeteria for his bumbling abomination of a partner to take him to Arkansas for something about a sewer monster, but clearly, fate had other plans today.
It could barely be seen in the face of a cold, dead man, but he was tense. His cigarette holder perked up showing tensity in his jaws, and beneath those sunglasses, a cold stare can be felt directly at each and every one of the other's eyes. There was a sinister aura in the air, a mutual feeling, perhaps, but Jones is soaked in the blood of the eldritch and it's fellow zealots, and his state of being, today, is a harrowing product of their work.
"I can assure you, I ain't got nothin' to do with any of 'yer dead lackeys, Z'gord. Not today at least. Go home. Don't want any trouble with ya today."
* are you a 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍 ? ind. sel . cred.
personals don’t reblog
Seis @ Frank: BITCH!??? With your ugly rejected 80s horror movie lookin' bitchass. You tryna bold up to ME??? /REALLY/???
“Try me, shadow jesus.”