Live, Laugh, Love Anton @boneless-mika - Tumblr Blog

I’m so incredibly sad and anxious right now. I hate it

#I don’t want to be alive #and nothing I do to distract myself is even helping

Having GI issues can be so isolating sometimes because I feel like I can never tell anyone about it, especially because a lot of people think everything related to it is gross

#like the most I feel I can say is that I have a stomachache or sometimes that I’m nauseous (but a lot of the time I fear that’s too much)

Cancer faking stories always freak me out because the proof is never acquired in ethical ways or really enough. Like I don’t think the hospital is allowed to tell you what patients are there or why, you can’t just go ”she was touching her hair so she must not be losing it!!” + not all chemo makes you lose hair, and it’s definitely not okay to demand someone show you their body and undo bandages in order to prove they’re really sick or demand you come with them to appointments and if they refuse you just accuse them of lying immediately

#like it’s entirely possible these people would act the same way if the person genuinely had cancer #and I cannot imagine how painful that would be

Watched the premiere of the new season of Crowd Control. I don’t know how I feel about an audience member winning, it kind of seems like it may encourage the audience to try to be funny which I don’t like, but the old system didn’t work at all for me either. I do think the court bit works better than the prompts they were doing before, but still not entirely my thing. As for the specific episode Cameron didn’t really get me to laugh in her first go but both Aaron and Jordan were really funny throughout

#I don’t normally like Jordan very much (just their humor is not enjoyable for me a lot of the time) so it was a positive surprise

I’m watching Strung and getting annoyed at how the snake doesn’t act anything like snakes normally do and also they don’t have a lock or even anything heavy on top of the enclosure so realistically the snake should’ve escaped

Played so much Honkai Star Rail that Nameless Honor isn’t giving me good rewards anymore

flopstat

#ted lasso

I was already hyped for the new Ted Lasso season but I watched the trailer yesterday (and then again today bc I was half convinced I just dreamed about watching it) and he’s coaching women’s football this season. Yay for women

#I can’t wait #only a few more days now

I liked Jack when she was introduced but now I’ve realized I didn’t remember her because I am filled with rage

#rewatching Ted lasso #like she’s being such an asshole about Keeley’s private video being leaked

I remembered that Colin was gay and then the show went ”yeah but also Keeley… and also Trent btw”. Turns out there were a lot of queer characters

#can’t believe I forgot Trent Crimm my fave was queer #rewatching Ted Lasso

I’ve had such a shit day I just want to cry

#cherry on top was when I tried to turn on the alarm but instead I activated it #I really hope police aren’t about to show up to my house on top of everything else

I’m rewatching Ted Lasso bc new season!! However I was convinced there was like a minor gay character on the team but at the beginning of season 3 I started thinking I made that up. Just found out I didn’t, thank god. Not that I can only enjoy shows with gay characters but like it certainly is beneficial to my enjoyment

#also Roy’s niece is probably gay but that might just me

Can we maybe stop pretending that nonpassing trans people get unconditional love and respect in a way trans people who pass don’t? Because that has never been my experience and maybe it’s just because I’m fat but I get tolerance at the very best

#like idk I don’t think it’s a privilege that everyone thinks I’m a woman when I’m not #and maybe people would treat me worse if I passed idk but at least some people would just accept that I’m a man #people love to tell me I’m privileged because I don’t have access to hormones or surgery and I just don’t think that’s true #sure I can pretend to be a woman but a gay man could just as easily pretend to be straight and that’s not privilege

It’s kind of fascinating how much I can’t stand like the idea of holiday episodes. I was rewatching Ted Lasso in preparation for the new season but the Christmas episode caused me to wait like a week before continuing after I watched all of season 1 in a day

Pain just snuck up on me 😭. I had no idea I was in this much pain lmao

Me: I’m going to get ahead of dehydration today

My body: what if I gave you immediate dehydration disease

#so anyway I’ve been catching up on hydration all afternoon and my stomach is clearly throwing some kind of protest

I get so annoyed when people accuse the entire Dan and Phil fandom of invading Dan and Phil’s privacy. Like I never did any of that, I didn’t ship them, didn’t look at fanart, didn’t find out where they live, nada. I watched and liked their videos.

One time I thought privately to myself ”what if Dan and Phil are romantically involved” and I corrected myself, this was a thought nobody knew about until this moment, I was extremely careful not to cross their boundaries even in my fucking fantasies. They didn’t need to forgive me because I never did anything to them and I was okay just being like ”this is not about me” whenever they talked about forgiving their fans until people genuinely started acting like it was all of their fans.

Sure I reblog fanart now bc it does seem like they’re okay with it and I’m going to be accused of worse things just by being a fan of them so might as well 🤷‍♂️

#didn’t know about the vday video until they talked about it #only knew people shipped Phan because they talked about it #YouTube was basically my only social media until tumblr #so I guess maybe I didn’t really count as a fan anyway since I didn’t do anything but watch them and like them

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