b.

i’m tired of being here

[bonesnskin]

brain: your stomach is growling. you’re dizzy. you are weak. you can’t even stand up. you need food, don’t ignore the signs anymore.

me: *eats something*

brain: how could you, you fat fuck monster. you should be ashamed of yourself.

WHYISITALWAYSLIKETHIS

[thatgingerinrecovery-deactivate]

As soon as September hits the eating disorder starts disordering like it’s supposed to every year. Anyone else feel the same way

[bonesnskin]

hello, i took a break from this app and had a healthier relationship with food for the last few months which in turn made me gain weight which made me depressed so now i’m back🥹! you can take this bitch out of the ED community but you can’t take the ED out of this bitch!

ready to fasttttt and lose all this dead weight again LETS GO

day 1

CW: 103 lbs

GW: 95

calorie limit in a day that i eat: 500-600

mental notes: take vitamins daily. drink lots of water. i know i’m lazy but try to get at least 10 min of exercise daily (10 min is lame but it’s better than nothing).

[thinhip]

only reblog this if you WILL lose weight. lets see who really has their priorities in order.

[bonesnskin]

i’ve never felt so alone in my life.

i’m scared of dying but i’m tired of living like this.

[bonesnskin]

(to me personally!)

not eating is not just about being skinny and wanting to look better (tho it’s a big motivator, it’s not the only one). to me, not eating is also a form of control. there are so many things i cannot control in my life, but what i can control is what i put (or don’t put) in my body. i find it much easier to starve or fast when things are spiraling out of control around me. it’s calming, almost empowering. it’s the one thing that is my choice only; that is not affected by outside forces.

[bonesnskin]

do i have an eating disorder or am i just starving myself to lose weight because i’m too lazy to do any type of exercise/ workouts?

[bonesnskin]

stomach: *bloated from drinking liquids. hasn’t seen food in days*

me: *clinically underweight*

me: *looks in mirror before shower*

brain: you are ✨fat✨ we are fasting today.

body dysmorphia: *nods in agreement* 🥲

[b4lsam0-deactivated20231021]

Ed community looking at memes about starving, lying to friends and family and hating your own body:

[cockroachmotherfucker10]

Think you eat too much to have a problem?

Many active people (women included) eat 3000+ calories a day and stay plenty lean.

The recommended daily calorie intake is 2000 for women and 2500 for men.

The recommended daily calorie intake for weight loss is 1500 for women and 2000 for men.

A 5-year-old needs about 1400 calories or more every day.

The minimum daily calorie intake for a long-term diet without medical supervision is 1200 for women and 1800 for men. Eating less than that eventually leads to starvation mode (a real–yes, real–state of biological stress characterized by decreased metabolism, increased cortisol production, and heart, brain, organ, bone, and muscle damage).

A 2-year-old needs about 1000 calories or more every day.

Most people can’t even imagine eating 1000 calories in a day. You’ll get 1,357 Google results if you search for the exact phrase “1000 calories is way too low” or “1000 calories is way too little”…but you’ll get even more results if you Google the same phrases for 1200 calories, because few people consider dipping below 1200.

A 3-digit daily calorie intake puts you at high risk for binge-eating, slowed metabolism, bone and muscle loss, nutritional deficiencies, gastrointestinal issues, infertility, hair loss, mood swings, and depression. Oh–and sudden death.

900 calories is less than what a completely sedentary, 5'0", 80 lb, 70-year-old woman burns daily (keeping in mind that your metabolism slows with age).

A very low calorie diet, also known as a starvation diet, is 800 calories a day or less. It is prescribed by doctors to obesity patients who need to lose weight quickly, is specially formulated to be nutritionally complete, and is monitored by medical professionals to prevent sudden cardiac arrest and death. It is considered an extreme diet.

600 calories a day or less is literal starvation.

500 calories is less than the daily calorie needs of the average 1-month-old.

400 calories is less than the daily calorie needs of the average newborn.

300 calories is less than what the adult brain alone burns every day.

-Mod Lia

[bonesnskin]

this is so important and yet haven’t been eating more than 700-800 calories a day in so long. that’s on the days i eat…

[bonesnskin]

i browse thispo, ana, and ed hashtags and tumblrs because you guys are literally the only ones who get it. no one else will understand these feelings, the hunger, what i’m doing to my body, the need to be thin, all these things without judging me. i get encouraged to keep going on days i don’t want to eat, and i also find kind inspiring words of recovery on days it feels like too much. my disoredered ass decided y‘all are better than therapy (!!but don’t take my words as a fact and seek real help if you feel like it’s too much and your life is seriously at risk. i’m not romanticizing ed’s, they’re horrible and they can actually kill you. so please be safe!!)

my body goes through phases of relapses and recovery, so it changes all the time. but the only constant is this website and the community it provides. thank you all for being here all the time.

[bonesnskin]

HOLY FF i have never been this low since i was a growing up. new goal achcieved 🥲 first time weighing myself naked, on an empty stomach, and in the morning. i weighed myself again after putting my clothes on and it was 92.3 lb. no wonder…

[bonesnskin]

i used to believe that if i stayed in the 95-100 lbs range i’d be fine. anytime i’d weigh above 100 lbs i’d freak out, even if i’d just eaten 5 minutes before weighing myself, or if it was the end of the day. as long as i’d stay below 100 lbs at all times i would be ok, or so i thought.

somehow, 100 turned into 92. now my maximum acceptable weight is 92 and anything above that is unacceptable. my goal weight is supposedly 85 lbs, but if i keep it this way i may end up well below that.

i know i am killing myself with this. i know i am destroying my body. i am constantly in pain. my entire body hurts. i have bruises everywhere for no reason. my long hair that took me so long to grow out is falling in chunks and becoming thinner every day. i am always cold. always shaking. i feel guilty even when i only have one meal a day. i crave certain foods and tear up because i want to eat it, but i don’t, because every calorie counts. i get dizzy when i stand up and my vision turns black. i get tired and out of breath when doing simple tasks like making the bed.

I’m scared even if i reach my own goal weight, i won’t be able to stop. watching the numbers on the scale go down is so addicting. and even though i am clinically considered underweight, i still see myself as fat. i hate my body and how i look. i will never be skinny enough.

i know many of us glorify and romanticize eating disorders. we all look at thinspo and save the pictures, comparing them to our own bodies. we all love looking in the mirror and seeing how far we’ve come. but there’s a darker side to this that is not usually talked about. anorexia kills. after a certain points, your body starts eating itself from the inside out. your organs. your brain shrinks. you become a ghost until you eventually disappear.

please seek help before it’s too late. your health is more important than some numbers on a scale. your life is more important than how thin you can become. i’m way past that point and i regret not seeking help when i realized i had a real problem. don’t be like me and many others. don’t fall into the dark side of this. stay healthy, please. you matter.

your ideal body can be achieved in many healthy ways that don’t involve starving or throwing up. with healthy workouts and healthy eating, and most importantly with discipline, you will get where you want to be. you can do so without destroying your body in the process. it’ll take time, but it’ll be worth it. future you will thank you. don’t let this god awful disorder be the end of you.

[bonesnskin]

don't measure your success based on other's people's timelines.

your timeline is yours only. your path is only yours to follow. you’ll get where you’re meant to be in time. trust the process and don’t give up on yourself. 

[bonesnskin]

self esteem = zero

[losing2anaagain]

Me: diet culture is toxic

Also me: *starves myself*

[froideiscounting]