I don't want to be alone

I'm Bonnie Akeldama.  I'm 19 years old.  I want to be left alone with my voices to keep my sanity.  I don't want to be alone.Patient at Thornewood Mental Hospital

[bonnie-is-alone]

Also I’m making a new RP blog just for the characters I had on Thornewood. If you still want to RP with them they’re at my blog: ptsd-children.tumblr.com

[bonnie-is-alone]

Everyone at Thornewood

I had an amazing time RPing with all of you. You guys helped me grow as a writer and as a person as well. This is an RP group that has made me laugh, cry, and even get frustrated because of how passionate my characters felt. That didn't happen to me but since I've been at Thornewood it was. Now I feel so much more emotion when I write. I really don't wanna loose touch with any of you guys. My main RP blog is the-devil-boy.tumblr.com and I really hope to keep RPing with all of you. Thank you so much for this journey that you lead me on.

[luz-sonriente]

[amelia-anderson-thornewood-deac]

Rumors || Amelia & Bonnie

[amelia-anderson-thornewood-deac]

Amelia was surprised when the young woman wrapped her arms around her, but none the less, patted the patient’s back in a motherly fashion. “Oh my dear, you don’t need to thank me.” What mattered most to Amelia was the Bonnie’s health, and now of course, the health of Bonnie’s unborn child. As the two were under the roof that Amelia provided, she would do everything in her power to keep the two of them well. “I know that it’s very scary, what you’re preparing yourself to do, so if you ever need someone to speak to…someone female, my office is always open.” Pulling back, the Warden gave Bonnie a warm smile. “You just need to remember to stay strong and to stay positive. Make sure that you’re eating well and sleeping well. We’ll have to be very careful what medication we give you as it could effect your child.” That was Amelia’s biggest worry for Bonnie, as most medication given for Schizophrenia could cause serious harm to the fetus. “Just remember that you can do this Bonnie. You can be healthy for yourself and your baby and one day get out of Thornewood.”

[bonnie-is-alone]

Bonnie felt safe in Amelia’s arms.  Like all the people that left her couldn’t hurt her.  Was this what a real mother acted?  It made Bonnie feel so warm and safe.  Nodding as she broke away she said, “I’ll make sure to come to you if I have any troubles.”  She might go to Phillip if it was something medical related, but if she had any emotional problems she’d be sure to go to Amelia.

“I’m picking myself up even though Oliver is gone.  I’m trying the best I can to block out everyone else’s negativity.  I’ll be sure to remember that I’m doing all of this for my child,” the redhead stated.  It was a little difficult getting on without Oliver to help her with the child but she knew it was important.  This child was what was important now.  “Are there treatments that are safe even though I’m pregnant?” she asked.  She had no clue if she could do without meds but recently she stopped taking her medication because of the child.  So far her voices hadn’t said anything or shown her anything but she was sure they would.

[smartmouthedskeleton]

Gus II Gavin and Bonnie II

Gavin had enough of that little twerp of an animal. For all the months as he worked here in Thornewood, he never had a problem with pests. Though while he was on his lunch break, he saw a flash of brown dart behind the fridge. 

And that’s when his battle with Gus had begun. 

It had been four days since he’d found that little bugger hanging about in the library, munching on some of Mark Twain. Gavin had snatched up a book then, preparing himself to throw it at the mouse and be done with it. Though it had darted faster than he could throw, leading the tatted man to knock down several books from the shelf. 

He had practically gone mad at this point as he helplessly waited for mouse traps to go off. Though that never seemed to do the trick, it annoyed him that one little mouse would cause him so much trouble. 

Half way through his sandwich when he spotted Gus. The mouse had twitched its nose at Gavin as they made eye contact and that was when Gavin bolted for it. Gavin swiped up a broom as he ran out of the lounge, the mouse made it for the hall. 

Gavin was almost there. 

He tripped on his shoelace, his nose smacking into the floors. Groggy, Gavin looked up, blinking a few times to see Gus twitching its brown nose at him. Gavin’s lip had twitched then as his hand made for the broom. 

Gus took off. 

“Yeah that’s right!” he shouted back at the mouse, his voice exhausted, “Run away you puny, little–”

Gavin looked up, smiling with his bleeding nose, “…Hi.” 

[bonnie-is-alone]

Bonnie was walking down the halls, looking a lot better than she had been.  She was clean, in fresh clothes, and even painted her nails a pale blue.  As she heard someone fall to the ground she jumped and soon saw a small mouse pass her.

Looking back she quickly ran after the mouse and picked him up carefully in her hands.  It squeaked lightly at her and she gave it a sweet smile.  “You sure are cute,” she whispered at the tiny creature.

Strolling over to see who feel she saw it was the groundskeeper.  Her hands were cupped and the mouse was hidden.  Seeing that his nose was bleeding she asked, “Are you okay?  You’re bleeding.”  She would give him her handkerchief but it was in her back pocket and the readhead didn’t want to reveal the mouse to him.  Also she was sure that he didn’t want to go digging in her back pocket.

[ispeakwiththedead-deactivated20]

Ghost Songs||Closed||Elizabeth and Bonnie

[ispeakwiththedead-deactivated20]

Elizabeth had sat her down on the toilet and then lightly squeezed her shoulders as she knelt down, “I’m going to run the tub and I’m just going to be outside if you need anything, okay?” Elizabeth took a quick glance to the bath bombs and then smiled to the redhead, “I’m sure Anne would like you to use those bath bombs she got you. And I think a nice warm bath would be good for those tired bones.” 

Elizabeth stood up and went to the tub’s faucet, turning it on. As she got up, she kept her voice soft, “I’m gunna make your bed, okay? I’ll just be in the other room.” 

[bonnie-is-alone]

Bonnie followed her with shaky legs, finding it difficult to stay up.  Once she was on the toilet she felt a little better but she was still in pain.  Hearing Elizabeth she really just stared past her and nodded a little.  At the mention of Anne she knew what she was actually talking about and knew that she was going to make her take a bath.  She knew it would be good for her but she really didn’t want to move.

“Okay,” she responded quietly.  The redhead watched the tub fill up and kept and made sure that it didn’t fill up too much.  Once it was filled she turned off the faucet and put one of the bath bombs in and sat quietly as she watched it fizz up and make it’s way around the tub.

[bonnie-is-alone]

Big News || Bonnie and Elizabeth

[ispeakwiththedead-deactivated20]

Elizabeth squeezed her hand, keeping her smile kind, “I just want you to know that I’ll be here for you, okay? Or at lest I will try to be. I want you to know you have my support through this difficult time in your life.”

[bonnie-is-alone]

Bonnie nodded, a smile on her lips as she listened to her friend.  “Thank you Elizabeth.  It’s nice to hear that you will be here.”  Pausing for a couple seconds she smiled a little brighter.  “And sorry if I wake you up at two am asking you to come to the kitchen with me because I’m craving something possibly gross,” she joked with bright eyes.

[thornewoodconfessions-deactivat]

[szopen]

Jean-Honoré Fragonard : The Progress of Love: The Lover Crowned (1771-1772) details.

[amelia-anderson-thornewood-deac]

Rumors || Amelia & Bonnie

[amelia-anderson-thornewood-deac]

Amelia nodded, frowning slightly. “Bonnie, I want you to know that this will not be easy. You are a level three patient with violent crimes on your record. Once you sign over custody of your child, it will be very hard to reclaim it. First, you will need to move down the levels, then outpatient therapy will be needed. Even then, you will have to prove to the state of Washington that you are no longer a danger to yourself, and most importantly, those around you, before they would consider letting you raise your child.” 

Looking over toward the young redhead, she did her best to give her a confident smile. “It will be hard work, but as Warden of Thornewood, I will do my best to support you. It might not be the same decision I would make, if I were in your shoes, but it is yours to make.” Running a hand through her head, Amelia sighed slightly. “First thing, there was a request by your former psychiatrist to move you to a new psychiatrist. That will be Dr. Burrell. Secondly, you will be treated here by an OBGYN from the local hospital.”

[bonnie-is-alone]

Bonnie nodded as she listened to Amelia.  It didn’t feel like she was lecturing her, instead it was like Amelia was just telling her what she needed to do.  It was hard to hear but needed.  “Okay.  I understand what I will need to do.  I will work as hard as I can to make sure I can be with my child.”  Touching her stomach with a light hand there wasn’t a bump yet but it was still developing.

Hearing Amelia supporting her and even saying that it was her choice was amazing to hear.  Everyone was so rude to her and some even left her.  But now hearing that someone was listening to her made her heart fill with joy.  “Okay.”  Biting her lip the redhead stood up and hugged Amelia.  “Thank you for supporting me.  It means a lot,” she admitted as she started to tear up.  It was so hard being surrounded with negativity.  But with that one shimmer of light supporting her she knew she could make it through.

[thornewoodconfessions-deactivat]

[thornewoodconfessions-deactivat]

[solv4]

[fearlessknightsandfairytales]

[mothurs]

[amelia-anderson-thornewood-deac]

Rumors || Amelia & Bonnie

[amelia-anderson-thornewood-deac]

“Four weeks,” Amelia said with a bit of a sigh. This had been the second pregnancy under Thornewood’s roof, not something that the Warden herself was too happy or proud about. She knew that many of the patients carried on relationships behind closed doors, and for the most part, the blonde didn’t attempt to stop them, to her part of the healing process was the ability to make relationships, but it was times like this, she wondered if she should step in.  “I’m sure that you’ve already thought about your options,” Amelia said kindly, “but I must let you know that if you plan to keep the child, he or she will not be able to stay at Thornewood with you. It would be unheard of and very unsafe. The next option would be for the state of Washington to step in and place your child in foster care, unless there is someone that you wish to sign parental rights to.”

[bonnie-is-alone]

Bonnie nodded knowing that it wasn’t great that she was pregnant but at least they were catching it earlier than later.  If it was later and she did want to back out of the pregnancy it would be out of the question.  But there was still a chance since it was the first trimester.

Shaking her head at the mention of foster care she said, “Anne, my sister, said that she’d take custody of the child.  She’ll move to Washington so my baby can be close by.  Also it’s so hard when we’re apart since we’re twins and all.”  The redhead had run all of it through with her sister and knew that this was the plan.  She couldn’t keep the baby with her at all times, but he or she would be close by.

[jasperartemisnichols-blog]

Wound Up II Jasper & Bonnie

[bonnie-is-alone]

“Please don’t touch me,” she said as she ripped his arm off of her. Bonnie hated Jasper. He never trusted her and she wasn’t going to let him take this baby away from her.  All he’s done at Thornewood was change her and she wasn’t going to let that happen anymore.

“This child isn’t yours. Anne and I are filing paperwork so she will be my child’s mother. So YOU can’t take my baby away from me,” the redhead growled with a smile. She was sure she looked crazy but she never cared. “You can fuck yourself Jasper. I am an adult and my body is my choice.”  This was a right she had and she would fight for this child if she had to.

Scowling at him she screamed, “I want this child to know Oliver was real! Do you know how hard it is to have schizophrenia?! I always question if other people are real. Even if others have seen them I can’t trust them. You have no idea how many times I saw people that weren’t there. How many friends I thought were real but weren’t. I want this child because I want to be a mother. For all I know this is my one chance. No one wants to make a family with the crazy bitch. I’m upset because NO ONE is trusting me. Everyone is gone, all I’m getting is lectures, and I just want something to prove to me that someone did love me. I’m not depending on Oliver because he’s gone. I’m living for something else. I want this child. My meds are going to be thrown out and I will have this child. I can handle the voices because I have something to fight for.”

“Now let me go,” Bonnie growled loudly.  “And if you don’t I’ll make it so the only way I get out of here is by going to ISO.”

[jasperartemisnichols-blog]

“You’re right. The child isn’t mine. I could have still pointed out to social services how terrible of a parent that you would be, and they would have certainly listened to me instead of the sibling of a patient in a facility who refuses to take their medication. However, I’m done.” Jasper held up his hands and opened the door. 

His voice dropped and octave as he stared at her threateningly. “I no longer want to treat you. You are obstinate, and you insist on doing the exact opposite of what is good for you. I wouldn’t care if it wasn’t for the fact that you made some sort of progress with me. I’m transferring you do another doctor. Do not ever come near me again. I’m ashamed I ever considered you my daughter.” He pushed her out and slammed the door in her face ignoring anything that he heard.