One More Nail in the Coffin

29. Aotearoa. Running on caffeine and adrenaline from abandonment-fueled anxiety attacks. I don't trigger tag posts except for sometimes personal ones because it takes ages, proceed at your own risk main: soloh nsfw: ifiwasanyoneelse

[vodid]

pmdd

[fallbeforethefight]

I am not doing well. And I know it's bad because generally when I'm in a depression spiral I do not actively reach out for help, I just vent on Tumblr or spam my close friends story on Instagram. But it's almost midnight and I've just messaged my boyfriend asking if I can come round to his place after work tomorrow because I really need a hug and someone to talk to and I don't think I can hold on until Saturday when I'd usually see him.

I just feel like I'm at a breaking point but I can't actually let myself break because I'm an adult and I have shit to do and people who are relying on me.

[fallbeforethefight]

Oooh boy the relapse urges are strong tonight

[let-me-be-skinny-and-pretty]

[lowzbehigh]

I will forever believe that i am unlovable and undesirable.

[pupisized]

[fallbeforethefight]

My depression pit from the other night is not nearly as deep now, thank god. Had some good sleep, cleaned my room, stopped weighing myself every time I went to the bathroom, and got brave enough to buy myself a concert ticket for tomorrow night; I was going alone to the gig, but one of my fav people who I haven't seen in person for over two years now was also going alone, so now we're gonna meet up there. A good couple things to look forward to and help me keep my head up.

[fallbeforethefight]

I am so fcking sad and I feel so weighed down by everything and I can't even talk to anyone about it because either they won't care, or I'll feel bad for bothering them with my shit. Genuinely don't think my chest has felt this heavy with sadness since like July 2024, and that's saying something because I was about ready to kms back then

[yipyipallyall]

[clown-guitar]

[no beers in] do you think im ever going to belong somewhere

[yangeles-deactivated20260421]

"am i being too much" are you aware i'd unzip my skin and make room for you in there

[catchymemes]

[mochiiluvrboy]

and sometimes i will be just laying in bed and MY BLOOD PRESSURE DROPS OUT OF NOWHERE

[unfiltereddddmess]

All I see when I look around is all the ways I fail as a person

[godtrauma]

my ultimate fantasy is to have a brain and body that allows me to enjoy being alive

[zombiezinmydreams]

[null-and-void-and-gone]

me when my disabilities disable me:

[panulyx]

Too much movement makes your joints hurt and too little movement also makes your joints hurt. This would imply that there's an optimal amount of movement that allows your joints to not hurt. This is a lie.