The Best & Hardest Job
I’ve never felt my heart break in two quite like when my daughter decided to move out. It literally felt like a piece of me was dying. I could feel the crack in my soul that was seeping out my pain.
I felt like no one could understand how I felt. It felt like everyone would tell me, she’s only your step daughter. They were right technically but they didn’t realize truthfully she wasn’t. She was my firstborn, my little girl and my best friend.
She had been the cute snot faced girl I helped dress and get ready for school every morning, the one I made school lunches and supper for. I would meet her at the end of the driveway when she got home from school and eventually the driver who drove her faithfully to school and home everyday.
I got to be the first person she would tell her whole day to. The one who got to hear of her achievements, her memories and her sorrows. We laughed and cried together. We shopped together. We watched sappy movies together. She gave me attitude and apologies. She hugged me and kissed me and called me her mom.
She disappointed me and broke the rules. I loved her through it all and never wavered in my measure of how much I adored her. Eight years, I got to be her everyday mom. Her everyday friend.
She’s moving out to live with her birth mom now. She will be gone but her place in my heart won’t leave or change. That’s what hurts. Giving up the most special and wonderful job I have ever been given, was to be my step daughter’s everyday mom.
