but imagine trying to jumpscare leon kennedy.
It’s late and he’s in the kitchen. Back to you, fridge doors open before him, the cool light making the shadows of the dark room much more dramatic.
You creep behind him, careful, so careful, to avoid even the slightest crunch or stick of your foot to tile.
He’s still browsing, still completely unaware. You see the chance and you take it, jumping behind him and using both hands to grip his sides with a playful yell.
Not even a flinch. All he does is glance at you over a shoulder, smirking. “You breathe so loud.”
He closes the fridge, snack in hand, and leaves you in the dark, defeated.
He’s in the shower. You know he’ll see your shadowed outline through the curtain if he’s looking. So, you wait.
You hear the squirt of shampoo, the foaming lather as he runs it through his hair. You’re in, moving quickly, ripping the curtain back with a scream.
Arms still up, fingers in his hair, he just looks at you, brow arched, grossly unimpressed.
Your sigh is heavy, eyes rolling. “Oh come on. How?”
He hums and flicks soap at you. “Better luck next time.”
He’s out grabbing ingredients for dinner. You’ve got it down this time.
You hear the front door click open from the depths of the coat closet, shuffling as he kicks off his boots, the crinkle of the paper bags full of groceries as he sets them down. The smooth leather of his jacket protests as he slips it off.
You tense, ready, waiting.
The closet door creaks, then you’re the one screeching as he grabs you, lifting you easily into his arms. He digs his fingers into your ribs and you’re squirming, laughing, already breathless as he targets the spots he knows you can’t bear a single touch without crumbling.
You swat him off, begging, and he lets up. His hands unite under your ass to hold you up as you straddle him, arms around his neck.
“Thought I had you that time.”
A sly smile and he’s giving one of your firm cheeks a pinch. “I felt so bad, I almost let you have that one.”
You’re both laughing again as he carries you toward the bedroom, groceries abandoned in the entryway.