Jude Law
DEAR READER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
NASA

if i look back, i am lost
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Love Begins

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@bookthiefwithoutthewords
Jude Law
Cami's sad
I wish I felt wanted. Like anywhere.
I used to feel wanted when I roleplayed, but even that is becoming really lonely. Because I see people like Cami who have all of these friends and there's me who has maybe five roleplayers who give a flying shit about her. And it's not like it's anybody's fault.
If I disappeared, nobody would really notice. And that scares me because I really want to sometimes.
My best friend lives in Nevada and I don't even think she would miss me for more than a few days.
I'm having a hell of a time not self-harming right now.
Because I want to prove to myself I can do this, but everything is making me feel more and more and more lonely.
I really was feeling a lot better for a while.
I'm hoping the sadness is just a bad day sort of thing and not me regressing.
Or maybe I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I'm a useless piece of shit who doesn't deserve to live. I don't know. I feel really paranoid like I'm annoying people and I know I should stop, but I just can't. And I feel selfish for wanting to talk to people, but at the same time I want to be happy and talking to them makes me happy. Everything inside my head just hurts.
Light Words on Dark Wings
Rain liked the woman. She went by the name The Raven, and Rain loved anything that tied itself back to nature somehow. Anyways, the woman could cast spells like Rain, and it had been so long since the little witch had had anyone who knew about her powers. Anybody who could understand her powers and even possibly help her.
So, Rain had followed the woman. She didn’t even know her proper name, other than the whispered term she had heard on the winds, and yet her curiosity had been sparked. It burned inside of her, until she felt she was breathing only smoke.
From the shadows, the little green with watched, as something seemed to settle on Norah’s shoulders. It was invisible, and yet Rain could imagine it quite clearly: a dark heavy cloud, sinking onto The Raven’s shoulders. There was a twitchiness about the woman’s body that unnerved Rain, but she reminded herself to keep watching. Whatever it was, she wanted to help. If only to ease the pain in her own chest. The loneliness.
But how? That was the question. She knew that people cheered one another up all the time, she had seen it on the streets and even from the glimpses of television shows she had seen through shop windows, her face pressed to the glass with eyes of awe. Yet, Rain knew her own limits. She wasn’t one of them. She wasn’t one of those that could simply smile and make the whole world smile with her. She couldn’t even do it with one person, elt alone a complete stranger like the Raven.
Rain also…wanted to remain anonymous in the whole thing. It was one thing to cheer someone up. It was another cheer a complete stranger up, who might be disgusted a little freak’s attempts to make her smile. That was the last thing Rain needed at the moment.
The idea came to her in her sleep. In dreams of Birds flying next to her, of words screamed into a setting sun, in air.
Rain waited for an hour until she saw Norah once more, seated on a park bench, with the same sorrowful look etched unto her face. Rain’s heart pained. Shushing the raven she had carefully caught, in the most humane way she could, Rain directed the bird towards Norah.
Magic hadn’t even been needed. Rain’s connection with nature and animals was more than enough as the raven soared over, landing ion the park bench, beside Norah. At first, the sorceress could only blink in confusion at the bird. But as the raven took off, it left a slip of paper that had been carelessly wrapped around it’s leg behind.
All the paper said was “You have a pretty smile”.
For weeks, Rain kept it up, sending a raven each time with the same words. Never showing herself. Never giving a hint on who it was. Always silent, and always hoping for the day Norah would smile once more.
She was Green and She was "Green"
Rain wasn’t sure how people survived. Their bodies all seemed so weak and flimsy, as if any moment someone would simply keel over and die.Of course…They do sometimes. I’ve seen them. They just stop living. They give up.Rain’s own grandmother had been killed by water. The world was so terrible, Rain knew this better than most people even bothered to register. She knew that sometimes death was a better option than living in the long end anyways.
But Rain didn’t want Cherise to die. Even if the world was horrible, and every day it seemed to slide into the darkness just a little bit more, Rain wanted Cherise to stay. Deep in her heart, she knew this was selfish and cruel, and yet she couldn’t help it. Rain wanted Cherise.
Time and time again, Rain had been told by Cherise, in those calming whispers of hers, that she would be okay. That after the spell had been broken, Cherise’s liver disease had started to lessen. That this wouldn’t happen again. That Rain wouldn’t be left all alone. Not again.
” Promises. Promises. Everyone makes them. Everyone breaks them. Did you think she would be any different? ” Rain whispered to herself as she sat down beside the hospital bed. The woman Rain cared so deeply for was still asleep, so she couldn’t hear the sobs as Rain let loose. This was why she hated becoming close to people again. Because eventually, they broke her in half.
The doctors hadn’t been keen on letting Rain into the hospital room. She wasn’t family, nor did they have any record of her knowing the patient at all. Nor were they altogether quite pleased when Rain had started mumbling to herself what seemed to them like incoherent chants.
She had fought though. Tooth and nail. Every time they had kicked her out, she had found a way to gt back in. Sometimes through treachery, other times through disguise. Finally, they realized she had meant no harm, they had let her stay. Although one of the doctor’s was always in the room with her, keeping a close eye on the little girl who was surely half-insane.
Perhaps that is why they never saw Rain’s spell working. They had been so focused on the green child, they had forgotten all about the patient. As the hours went on though, Cherise grew healthier. Slowly but surely, her life signs improved and her face regained its color. Slowly but surely, Rain regained Cherise.
Javert: Pheels
Bare feet pattered on roof tops. How she had gotten up there, although as soon as the thought had passed through his mind he knew the answer, he didn’t care about. Just the fact that she was causing a disturbance and had to get down.
A crowd below watched as the little green girl scampered from one building to the next, tangled hair flowing in the wind and a wicked grin flashed across her lips. Some screamed when it would seem she had lost her balance, yet she always caught herself and continued on.
Most people laughed, enjoying the show.
Javert had a slightly different feeling towards it.
Rain suddenly stopped, her toes curled around the edge. She teetered for a moment, her grin growing by the second. And then she fell.
A collective gasp went through the crowd, although Javert couldn’t bring himself to join them. He had seen this trick before. Not that he was sure this was exactly the time for it.
At the last moment, there was a whoosh as something sped past the crowd, causing a few onlookers to stumble back. Rain caught a hold of it, and swung herself about, using the momentum to pull herself up onto the broom. With a grin, she waved to Javert.
With a scowl, he reluctantly waved back.
Nurse Me // Drabble
Nurse me and I’ll write about my character healing yours or tending to yours while they’re sick or injured
“Why is it you always come to me when you’ve gone and hurt yourself ” Hannibal huffs as he hold open his front door. Rain stood in his doorway, sickly yet again. Despite himself Hannibal turns around and gestures for the girl to come in, mumbling things about being a doctor of the mind, not the body. “Be sure to shut the door,” he adds looking over his shoulder at the green girl.
Rain shuts the door and follows after the doctor as he leads her to one of his guest bedrooms. Hesitating he waits for her, arms crossed and a now blank expression on his face. He owed the girl one, so he was willing to help her…this time at least. “Get comfortable,” he tells her, eyes scanning the room, not looking at his companion. “I’ll find you something warmer to wear.” She was completely drenched after all, for what reason he did not know since it was not raining today nor had it.
Hannibal leaves the room and shuts the door slightly, hearing her shuffle about. Instead of going to get spare clothing, he heads to the kitchen first and sets up a kettle, heating water for tea. With that done, he heads to his linen closet and grabs and extra blanket and a towel, dropping those in front of her door. Now clothing was a different matter, he went to his bedroom and after shifting through a few piles of spare clothing he had stored in his closet, he returned to Rain with a t-shirt and a pair of pj pants which were undoubtedly to large for her.
“Thank you…”Rain mumbled, her hair wrapped up in a towel as she huddled under the blanket. Despite himself the doctor smiled, he always found Rain to be adorable when she was sick. She couldn’t badger him when she was sick after all.
Nodding his head he leaves the room, allowing her to change. He heads to the kitchen, the kettle whistling as he enters the room. Hannibal turns the stove off and removes the kettle to a cooler spot. Grabbing a tea bag of chamomile and a large cup, he pours the water in and lets the tea bag soak for a few minutes. When he was satisfied with the tea’s color he head back to the room, finding Rain cuddled up under the bed’s blanket, her green head sticking out against the pillows.
He smiles again, sitting on the edge of the bed as he places the cup down on the bedside table. “You really need to take better care of yourself, my dear.”
” Maia is a silly name, ” Rain had suddenly blurted out one night as she was spending it with Cherise. There was something almost angry about the outburst, but Cherise had let it go. She had tried not to look hurt as she kissed the witch on the forehead and wished her a good night. For a moment, she hung back, to watch Rain, but was only met with a pout as Rain had failed to notice the hesitation, assuming Cherise had already left.
Maia is a silly name. Whatever could she mean by that? Cherise’s heart ached at the thought, at the implied insult. Rain had always been kind, bringing Cherise flowers, slowly but surely coming out of her shell, visiting more and more often. So what brought this on?
She tried to sleep, Cherise really did. But every time, those words floated back into her mind, tormenting her. Tossing and turning, the woman found sleep out of her grasp, until the early morning hours. It seemed once she had finally fallen asleep, she awoke seconds later, exhausted but determined to make breakfast for the family, including Rain.
Cherise didn’t know what had led her to check on Rain before she even began breakfast. Perhaps it was simple curiosity. More likely it was that nagging voice in the back of her head, reminding Cherise of the nasty good night Rain had spoken to her.
Only a gasp escaped her mouth as she saw the papers scattered out underneath Rain’s head, a pencil still clutched tightly in her hand as she slept. Across all of them was scattered the same two words “Rain Maia. ” The first name was perfect, but the last one seemed to show some sort of struggle, as if she couldn’t figure out how to make the letters work.
” Maia is a silly name. Can’t….write it right. ” Rain murmured in her sleep.
Come sunrise, Ari would be awoken from her sleep to the sound of metal clacking. Before her mind had entered the world of reality completely, a metal chain would be fastened to her collar. She rarely tried to escape, but typically, the few times she had it was because of the chain. If she would be allowed to roam with him so freely, her mind would never venture towards straying from her owner. It was only the constant entrapment that kept that small ember of resentment alive.
If she was lucky, Vailin would offer her some breakfast before he would take Quinn to the nearest village to see if there was anyone to do business with.
Hours would tick by, slowly at first, but growing painfully stagnant as they collected. For what was the Lionborn girl to even do. She was very rarely left with anything of great interest to do. She often would retreat to the spirit realm, or admire the beautiful nature around her. This day though, the spirits had no need of her, and she had grown weary of the same trees and ground after staring at them for hours each day for the last four days.
Ari’s mind was forced into the dark reach of memories she usually kept away from her prying thoughts. The ones of her family and what little she remembered of them from when she was young. The warm smile of her father and how he would occasionally slip her sweets when others weren’t watching. Her brothers and their annoying teasing. Except for the one time that another one in their pride had attacked Ari verbally and her brothers insisted on playing bodyguard for her for days afterward. And her mother’s voice. Why couldn’t she remember her mother’s actual face? What had the years done to her now?
By the time Vailin and Quinn returned, the Lionborn girl’s mind had repressed her to the Dunelands and the warm arms of her mother. By the time they had awoken her from her “daydream”, tears had filled her eyes.
Perth fictions
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The stars were crisp in the air, illuminating the grass perfectly and on occasion reflecting off the young man beside her’s glasses. As she watched his jawline move up and down softly as he chewed on the cookies she had made for the two of them to enjoy she wondered how she had gotten so lucky. He broke her concentration and musings by laying back on the blanket, “Would you join me Cal?”
Cal froze immediately. The only time any man had ever asked her to lie down with them had been Blake. Usually this had been followed by sex, and usually it wasn’t sex that she wanted. “…I-I…can’t.” Thus far she hadn’t told Archibald Cabret about anything in her life before meeting him and so she fidgeted wondering how he would react.
Instead Archibald just sat up and scooted closer to her taking her hand. “Well, that’s alright. Holding hands is just as good as cuddling,” he smiled at her.
So Cal held onto his hand turning her attention to the giant screen that had been set up in the park. She had never seen a movie before, but Archibald loved them, even more than he loved his clocks. “This one is my favorite,” he commented looking at her. Since she had been focusing on how wonderful his hand felt holding hers she turned her attention to the screen and watched it, that silly old classic film Man in the Moon. “That was….amazing.” she smiled at him and he smiled back, a smile that cheered her whole soul.
Because it was a marathon of movies they had a lot to get through and the food they had brought would grow cold before the movies finished playing. Eventually, Cal would find herself snuggled against Archibald, mostly because she had gotten cold and he was rather warm. Rather than take advantage like Blake might have he simply held her snuggling her back, it was his gestures all throughout the night that told Cal he was someone she would want to be with. He didn’t have the nature to hurt a fly, she had seen him simply shoo them away from their picnic, he was intelligent, he was cultured, and he cared about her boundaries.
After the movies were done and he had packed their picnic away they walked hand in hand down the Paris streets. She had been staying at a hotel since arriving in Paris and so told him it was home. He nodded and gently kissed her cheek, “In that case goodnight Cal, I’ll see you next time.”
There were many times between this first date and their second that Cal thought of leaving Paris but everytime she thought of Archibald she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Farewells
It had taken months, but he had finally done it. Day after day, when he wasn’t being sent away on various quests, the demigod made a habit of inhabiting the oddest of places: hospitals, hospices, busy intersections. Anywhere where one could smell death in the air. Except, no matter how many people’s lives he watched fade away before his eyes, no matter how much depression he swallowed, the being he searched for never came.
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Un, Deux, Trois | Drabble
After she left, Archi saw Calondra Kit three times.
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I just realized how beautiful it would be if I died on my birthday.
I don't even know why I'm alive anymore.
Because, let's face it
Everyone would be better off if I was dead.