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@bookwcn
angel boo ᜊ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ᜊ
as her dear friend spoke, lia’s heart fluttered. she had noticed the protective nature of seonghwa’s actions as well, but had concluded some time ago that he were merely being friendly. it wasn’t rational, but sometimes she wondered if he perhaps even pitied her. still, seungkwan’s own observations gave her some semblance of hope that there actually might be something more to the nature of their relationship. “you’re right,” she admits, exaggerating her speech as if that were something difficult for her to assert. really, though, she was grateful for his advice. “and i know, i can’t be too concerned about what he’s getting into,” she recites the older’s words exactly as he had spoken them some minutes ago, “but it doesn’t feel fair that he should have to adjust himself for me.” if only he could wait for her just a little bit longer, until she was better. “i’ve been meaning to talk to him about it, i’m just not sure when — or how.” the possibility of rejection was simply too much for lia to bear, far worse than the alternative of suffering in silence.
seungkwan wasn't a romantic. a master of feelings, sure, but a romantic? no. he was more of the type to rizz his way into some young lady or young man's heart sweep them off their feet and then not call them back the next day but when it came to other people's relationships. he had some hope for them and he definitely had hope for lia. "you're not asking him to, though, right? he's doing it willingly. i think that's a sign of love," he said confirming his own thoughts to himself aloud. "i think...you should take this trip as an opportunity to be even closer to him. it's a special moment for him, right? that's why you came to support him so show him what it would be like if you two were dating. he already goes out of his way to take care of you. it shouldn't be hard," he joked wiggling his brows and then his voice dropped to a more serious tone. "i know you may be hesitant since rejection could be hard but i really do believe that man may love you, lia and you deserve to be loved,"
rarely did lia cry, much less in front of others. she didn’t often feel a need to. but, there was something so touching about seungkwan’s words that made tears well in her big brown eyes. she had seen some cruel things being said about her in the time she’s been away, and not once had anyone ever ventured to say she were strong. furiously, she blinked the tears away and waved a flippant hand around in the air as if it weren’t the sweetest thing she’s ever heard. “yah, since when did you get so wise?” she asked, tone light and airy in an effort to lighten the mood. her heart continued to swell, and lia hoped he understood just how much his kindness meant to her despite her teasing. his words still echoed in her mind when she tilted her chin towards the sun, allowing the warm rays to absolve her of any guilt or weakness that had weighing heavy on her mind, at least for the time being. curiously, she hummed, “oppa ... do you really think he loves me?”
seungkwan's eyes softened as he noticed the tears in lia's. he knew how hard it was to lack confidence because as much as he hid it, he had his own sort of struggles with those types of things. lia was like a little sister to him and what he wanted most was for her to know that she deserved love and appreciation just as much as anyone else. he reached out squeezing her hand as she spoke and chuckling to himself. "being hurt too makes you wiser, i think." he confessed softly. at her next question, his brows furrowed slightly as he pretended to think. "i think the only person who can truly answer that is him but i also think that any love worth having is worth taking risks for so even if you're unsure, it's worth going out on a limb." he said nodding. "in my humble opinion, though, not even a nice guy is that nice to someone he doesn't love. it's like, no matter where you are or what you're doing, he has an eye on you. he always adjusts himself for your comfort and happiness. that kind of love, the one where you put another person first, that's the best,"
since deciding to take her hiatus, lia found herself struggling to maintain connections with anyone apart from her own members (seungkwan being one of few exceptions, of course). she didn’t like to be out in public, nor did she feel comfortable burdening them with her big bundle of acquired insecurities. she’s gotten better within the past few months, but she now felt that she had missed too much, doomed to forevermore be an outsider. none of it seemed to bother seonghwa though, and before she could really catch what was happening, he had slipped right through the cracks of her newly constructed walls. everything her friend was saying was true, and she knew it. owning up to it was the scary part. “he does,” lia answers, smiling softly into her teacup as she takes a sip of the sweet drink. “i’m sort of afraid he’s being mislead, i guess? i mean — i have a lot going on,” her smile fell just a bit then, “i don’t want him to end up feeling responsible for my issues.”
seungkwan winced slightly at the younger idol's words. if anyone understood a hiatus and feeling like a burden, it was seungkwan. he had taken a hiatus not so long ago and during that time, even though he'd had more than just the 12 members of his group to count on, he couldn't stop himself from feeling like a burden due to his own emotions. it was hard on him back then and so he couldn't hold it against lia to feel like a burden now. "something i learned for myself is that...when someone loves you, you just have to let them. you can't be too concerned about what they're getting into if they already know. as long as you're honest with him, then, you shouldn't feel that way," he nodded in understanding though as he took another sip of his tea. "you're a human being. you know that even just saying i need a break is a thing of strength? i think that for some reason, you think that you're weak because of your issues but, jisu-ya, they make you stronger than you can ever know,"
“but i just said that i like him!” lia chirped pointedly, the heat from her cheeks now traveling to the tips of her ears. quickly, she untucked her tresses out from behind them to conceal her embarrassment. perhaps she had been a bit too defensive, but the absolute last thing she’d ever want to do is lead someone on. her spoon dropped against her teacup with a delicate clatter as she leaned back in her chair, staring momentarily down at her hands as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. then, she sighs. “even if i did like him like that,” and she did — so, so much. her words were a thinly veiled confession, “i think you might be reading into it a bit too much.” there was a dreamy look in her eyes as her mind wandered to earlier that morning, remembering the note seonghwa had left for her before he left the property. carelessly, lia shrugs, “he’s just ... nice.” nice enough to let her wear his artist jacket, and to share a space with her in the villa. these were all things he’d do for just about anyway, she was sure.
"you know what i meant, lia," he said giving her a knowing look. kwan wasn't clueless, the opposite, actually. he was quite perceptive when it came to everyone's feelings but his own. "i don't think i am. am i? he goes out of his way to take care of you, a lot," seungkwan pointed out stirring his own tea before licking the spoon. he took a sip of his drink and sighed. he wanted the best for lia and the best would be someone who cared for her in the way that he saw seonghwa do and someone who made her comfortable. "does he make you happy? i'm not pushing my own agenda now, i'm just wondering. everyone should be with someone who makes them happy. it seems simple but it's complicated, right?"
when seungkwan invited her for tea, lia was happy to accept. there were very few people capable of drawing out of her the same kind of lighthearted laughter that she always seemed to spew whenever the older was around, though she supposed it were part of his charm. they chatted for a bit about what he’s been up to since they last spoke, and then about a particular book she read last month about a magical café with time-traveling properties. she relaxed almost immediately, tensing up only when he mentioned seonghwa. she should have known better than to expect he’d let something like this go without discussion. then again, she hadn’t thought she had been all that obvious about it, either. “oppaaaa,” lia whined, her cheeks flushed a telling shade of pink, “i don’t — i mean, of course i like him. we’re friends.” swiftly, she snatched the small sugar dish out of his hand, spooning a few small mounds into her steaming cup of tea before stirring. it wasn’t a very good answer, but it was the truth (part of it was, anyway).
seungkwan was anything but subtle when it came to his friends, and even if he tried, everything he was thinking would've shown up on his face. this was no different. a look of disbelief rested on his expression at the younger's words. he knew he wasn't imagining things and what's more, he could see how the two of them looked at each other when they were together. the way that lia seemed to be at ease in the presence of his fellow '98 liner. he furrowed his brows slightly and whispered, "jisu-ya, you can be honest with me, you know," he only pulled out the full name when it was something serious. he blinked a few times giving her an opportunity to confirm his suspicions before he went on. "anyway, if you don't like him, you should tell him that, too, since it seems he feels a certain way about you," he watched as she stirred sugar into her tea and he shook his head. "it would be a shame to see a nice boy get his heart broken when you don't mean to,"
dino : 😔 dino : here lies lee chan. cause of death? broken heart dino : i will be floating longingly in the pool until you arrive
boo: tch. anyway... boo: don't drown! boo: at least not before i get there to laugh and then save you. in that order.
favourite seungkwans — [3/?]
a company dinner for everywon
dino : choosing a girl over me? dino : your most beloved maknae? dino : this is the ultimate betrayal 💔
boo: she needs my help more than you right now boo: are you incapable of being alone? boo: you're so ridiculous, chan boo: let's meet up after?
ᯓ★₊˚⊹♡ : @bookwcn
dino : it's been three whole hours since you arrived and we haven't hung out 😭 dino : have you found someone else you love more than me now?
boo: can you relax? boo: you're so clingy boo: i'm having breakfast with a pretty girl, mind your business
Seungkwan looked around as he sat down making sure that he and Lia had the room to themselves. Even though, he'd only just arrived, he'd heard more than enough about the happenings of the trip so far from Theo, but what he had the most interest in was checking up on one of his quietest friends, especially now that she'd basically crossed the seven seas to support the crush he had an inkling that she had. He was all too eager to confirm his own thoughts as he poured her a cup of tea. "So...are you ready to talk about the fact that you like Seonghwa now or do you want me to keep pretending I haven't noticed?" he said raising a brow as he leaned in. "Sugar?" He held up the container that had the granular white substance with a polite smile on his face.
@liamours