laughing stock

v, he/him, 28

[dr-baizhu]

every night. without fail our downstairs neighbours make these weird loud banging (literal) sounds, almost like dragging huge furniture around or dropping wooden planks on the floor or something like that. i know they're not doing renovations because it only happens at night and there aren't any power tool (or regular tool) sounds at all. it's driving me insane what the fuck are they doing

[probablily]

i say yay outloud too like this isn't just my internet persona this is real me

[ozempicofficial]

[swagophile]

guy who owns multiple criterion blu-rays: perhaps today we could watch a film from mu physical media collection?

guy from 2006: do you have dude where's my car

guy(?) from 1862: and these hormone remedies you spoke of earlier, they allow you to develop sexual characteristics of a female? is that true? are they expensive?

me: nah theyre not that expensive, i can hook you up bartholemew. seconding dude wheres my car

guy who owns multiple criterion blu rays: i do not own such a movie physically

me: its chill its on tubi

guy from 2006: tubi rocks

me: yeah tubis chill. here [plays the movie]

girl from 1862: BY JOVE? ARE THESE MOVING PICTURES? HOW FASCINATING! ...do they make pornographic content like this?

me: im about to blow your whole world batty baby

[mumblesplash]

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

[rexizoic]

GET HIS ASS KUNIKIDA !!!!!!

[shinraalpha]

titanic Wreckage perfec t size for put trillionaire in to n\ap! inside very Cool and Meme trillionaire look so sick put trillionaore in Titanic Wreckage. Put Trillionaore In Titanic Wreckage. no problems ever in titanicc wreckage because good Shape and Support for trillionaire ti visit in little snubmarine. Thetitanic Wreckage yes a place for a trillionaire put trillionaire in titanic wreckage can trust Mad Catz xbox controller for giveing good submarine control to trillionaire. friend titanic wreckage

[valtsv]

microdosing on catharsis by watching a fictional character or persona i relate to have an emotional breakdown until my chest starts to ache from the amount i've repressed

[valtsv]

[cheddar-baby]

i could smell your boytoy coming from down the road. Wretched little rotted morsel of a thing, may he fall to time and become carrion

[dr-baizhu]

people who manspread not only on a cramped bus but a cramped MINI bus i am killing you i am tearing you apart into a million pieces and your dick and balls go first

[gondorrevealparty]

Normal American Guy: have you seen what these "transgenders" are sexualizing? they're reenacting childhood experiences. it's disgusting and un-american.

Every Good Ol' American Rock Song: 🎸🎤 I can't stress enough how much this girl is underage 🎸 🎶

[dr-baizhu]

no no no pride and prejudice 2005 is cool. it's nice. its nic ce.

[oeing-oeing-clay]

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

[fandom-man]

[scholarlypidgeot]

@moethh don't hide this in the tags

[boccher]

i think every british journalist should just be gunned down

[maidthings]

On the small soggy wet archipelago that makes up the modern day united kingdom, sunny days are a rare phenomenon. As such, the peoples of england cherish each and every one, even going so far as to write songs about them in their local music. With sunlight in such high demand, to block it deliberately is nigh unthinkable, hence their cultural confusion at the invention of the parasol.

[magpie-trove]

“Do it afraid” I do everything that way! I’d like to do it normal for once thanks!

[batshit-auspol]

Occasionally as an Australian you'll be talking to someone from overseas, and you'll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.

Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.

The more you know.

[batshit-auspol]

Imagine being on a work call with an Aussie and they suddenly announce they're gonna blow a load in response to a problem.

[fred-the-dinosaur]

Not Aussie but I asked an American once if she was taking the piss ( i.e. pulling my leg, joking. Perfectly cromulent and friendly english expression)

and she got really upset because she thought I was threatening to piss ON her

[honiibbang]

This is killing me

[batshit-auspol]

Rifling through the tags, here's some other terms which are apparently causing mass carnage whenever they escape our borders:

Having a goon (i.e. Sipping on a delightful wine)

Having a gaytime (Eating an icecream)

Having a sticky beak (Investigating)

Take a squiz (To have a sticky beak)

Get stuffed (To express a revelation is most frightful)

Chuck a sickie (Take a day off work due to the humours being misaligned)

Chuck a wobbly (When one's temperament becomes visibly upset)

Carry on like a pork chop (Acting most silly indeed)

Thongs (flip flops)

Hot chook (Pre-cooked supermarket rotisserie chicken, otherwise known as the Bachelor's Handbag)

Fair suck of the sauce bottle (Let's be real)

Shits me to tears (Something is mildly annoying)

Not here to fuck spiders (Expressing a situation is serious)

Having a piss-up (A social gathering)

I'll shout you (offering to goon an old chum)

A cruisy place (a relaxed atmosphere, where one might shout and goon the night away while enjoying many a gaytime in your favourite thongs)

[buginateacup]

Some usamerican friends of mine recently learned the Aussie meaning of snail trail (the line of hair from the bellybutton heading south). They were horrified to say the least