Briar Roses and thorns

Made this because I was bored. She / her , 18. Might write, who cares :P

[boomerangswingsbothways]

Hello darling reader and viewer! This is just a place where I dump thoughts, stories and attempted poems and drawings :3

Yeah yeah my username is probably a mouthful, I always try to stand out :P I'm a saggitarius, if you find that important to know :> I'm either an INFP or an INTP, soo uh yeah!

Fandoms I have been in/ am currently in -

♡Avatar: the last airbender

♡My little pony: friendship is magic

♡Life is strange

♡Diary of a wimpy kid (rodrick...my beloved)

♡Nana

♡Tomie Kawakami

♡Girl from Nowhere

♡Blue eye samurai (mizu!!taigen!!)

♡Mouthwashing (curly grant...my beloved)

♡Mentalist

♡Dispatch

♡Steven Universe

♡Undertale

I'm 18 so I might write a few risqué things here and there!! If you don't like my vanilla things it's alr!!

So...toodles (　-∀・)

(Credits to @suupersonic for the cute banner)

[boomerangswingsbothways]

I despise you mother dear

The umbilical cord nags me the same

I had spent only 9 months as a part of you

But you want me to be you

I wish I could be anything else

But you only see me as a cheap imitation

I'm just your burdensome second body

Which chooses dishonor over all

In rotting amniotic fluid I emerged victorious

During christmas carols I kicked you heavily

The 21st, I know was special to you

But to me it was freedom

Again and again I struggle from this bind

But I can never escape

For we share a face and a cruel tongue

So however can I even be me?

I don't know

But keep asking me

To show my tear streaked face on video call

I promise you that there'll be more tears to shed

You'll never hear the end of it

Rubbing your dry eyes, you crocodile

Saying that I'm making you sad

Well good, because I've never ever made you happy

Even if everybody says you're happy all the time

Well Miss Sunshine, you can stick it

Where the sun don't shine

[boomerangswingsbothways]

I've never had such good friends before. I really don't deserve them. I'm always so loud and annoying and stupid but they like me. I don't know why. They care. I'm scared this is all a cruel dream.

[boomerangswingsbothways]

I've never had such good friends before. I really don't deserve them. I'm always so loud and annoying and stupid but they like me. I don't know why. They care. I'm scared this is all a cruel dream.

[boomerangswingsbothways]

If suffering is permanent then what is pleasure? The distraction from it? Have I always been distracting myself? Did I need to in order to live?

[boomerangswingsbothways]

A second baptism

To wash away the grime

Dear God

I sprained my ankle

I'm in a foreign land

At least more foreign than my native

I sit in a plastic chair

Stand up to move my toiletries

I can't bathe standing

It is by your mercy I don't slip

I know

I am so very tired

Tired tired tired

This was supposed to be my teenage dream

But everything is just a distressing fever dream

I hate it I hate it I hate it

I wish I could die

But you, most loving laugh

I know its funny to you

But I'm crying in a chair

With my ass on plastic

God I want to die

Like my dreams already have

God I want to flee

Like everyone else has

God I want to cry

Because that is all I am capable of now

[boomerangswingsbothways]

Translucent and vile are my intentions

My lips pulled to frown

Pre-emptive

Pre-eminent

Pre-lude

Just hold on baby

Stay there

Your lips shimmer

Like oceanic moonlight

Let me just smear

Brown lipstick

Like a painter does

Only on you

Yes you

[boomerangswingsbothways]

The fan whirls around

The lightbulb flickers

The AC spits

But I remain still

Heart hollow and hungry

Consuming consuming

All for what?

Just to survive, just to fight again

And again

Maybe my eyes will feel cold again

But thunder and lightning rage on

With little else standing in its way

Oh well

[boomerangswingsbothways]

I have always been

Your very large shadow

Into the light you step

And I always follow

I just want to keep you safe

From the light threatening

It's glare agonising

I'm sorry

I can't be anymore

[boomerangswingsbothways]

I hunger for the scratch

Which silences the itch

The one in my soul

That I can't seem to get rid of

Tell me...have I remained?

Or has my decency fled?

[boomerangswingsbothways]

Self care in a dorm

Is having a nice long bath

Eating some sort of dessert

Food from a restaurant

Water dripping down

My sweat framing my brow

My hair damp with it

No humidity

The cruelty of the sun apparent

And I the pathetic one

Smirking all day

Instead of studying

[boomerangswingsbothways]

I with my broad shoulders

My head held high

I with my bullish body

My breasts heaving

I...I don't like it

I can't seem to be

Just be

Always perceived

Always watching

Eyes that haunt me

And mouths that beg to feed

I am terrified

But I walk on

Because the show must go on

Sunglasses hide

Fear and anxiety

Brown brown brown

Everything of mine is

My lipstick, my glasses, my eyes, my skin, my hair my-

It's all brown

But they only look down at me

Not my eyes, no

Just the heaving fat

[boomerangswingsbothways]

Dear God,

I write this to you as a lowly sinner

I fear there is very little potential in me

I dread the unknown and the inevitable

I confuse the two

I think I am of no use

But you prove me wrong

Time and time again

Heavenly Father, my body is exhausted

My mind is split

And I have little doubt that my dignity

Has left long back

Protect me, Father

For I have no one else to turn to

Forgive me, Father

For I am a big city girl now

I close my eyes in fright

Only to dream that I am safe

In your palm

Yours obediently,

N.E.G.

[boomerangswingsbothways]

Within my soul is a single tile

Deep and vivid

Magenta or violet I don't know

What I know is that it is a part of

A greater mosaic

To His design

So when I feel lonely

When I feel odd and left out

I tell myself I am a piece

Of a greater whole

I am yes, I am

Or I try, yes I try

Again and again

I'm still there

The 3,000th tile

Just a little to the left

Thats me

[boomerangswingsbothways]

The dreaded screech of metal

Against the dial

That the minute hand makes

It grates your thoughts

Til all you can think

Is of the end

Tick tock tick tock

Time flies and I remain

Drowning drowning drowning

In a pool of regret

In a stew of spite

In my own mind

Until I can no longer breathe

[boomerangswingsbothways]

Thunder roars and lightning strikes

These heavy showers wash away

The inherent sin of this soil

The piss tree cleansed

By showers of blessing

The stifling heat held by it's ear

While the chill spreads down to me

I know my God that you love me

Through the sweat

That drips off me like a duck

Through my clipped words and crass mouth

Through my apathy

Rain down on me then

For I have walked the same street

For I have walked the same path

For I have remained faithful

Or atleast I have tried despite my frailty

[boomerangswingsbothways]

And my heart which felt so crowded

Has now grown vacant

My eyes so sharp

Dulled into coins

My lips ever moving

Have found stillness

In the darkness...shall there be light?